Staring down at Ouji's head planted in ground like a turnip, frustration filled me. Anime Girl's instincts to protect her chastity with violence made me do it. 'Made me.' I want to say 'made me.' Like I was forced to. But, that didn't feel right. Surveying Ouji, I came up with an excuse for what I did on impulse. It may have been her logic, but it was my choice to finish it with the [Hikari Ni Nare].

Fanservice violence can kill. Worried, I crouched down to Ouji's chest to check. His chest is rising and falling. Breathing. Good. Me not murderer.

I stood, staring off into the distance. Fanservice violence could have killed. I never thought that would mean 'kill me.' It was a breast touch when I wasn't aware. Then, battle. Ouji got a little rowdy, I got rowdy, let's call it even. I refuse to blame Anime Girl for this... incident. The depravity I gained through my life of ascending to wizardry and watching anime is expressed through Anime Girl. She's a part of me, and in this world, a clearly expressed one. Vigilance is needed, is all. Vigilance.

I headed off in a random direction. Meandering, maybe pacing would sort my mind out and calm me down. Some distance from new gold statue I installed on the riverbank would be nice. I got halfway into the forest and locked gazes with a moose-beast who gave me a blank eyed stare. Then, the moose-beast sauntered off.

Looking up above the treeline, I checked the location of the tentacle reaching far into the sky. Yep. Still there. Skyscraping a cloud. Wriggling in high into the air. Yep. I'm lost.

As I wandered I felt an urge to go in a certain direction. I didn't know whether to obey it or not, but I eventually gave in. May have been Anime Girl guiding me back to the waterfall cave. And, it was. Following the directional urge lead me to teh waterfall cave. Glad one of us up here has a sense of direction.

I looked wearily on my one night home. Can I rest yet? Then, I thought of what lie inside. My mage tome, my beloved cheat item lied stored away within. Yes, yes, thank you, Anime Girl. I could have wandered off lost and died alone. Now. Away from the fresh golden statute, towards magical powers. Good.

Anime Girl's social skills with Ouji weren't great. But, it's not like her social skills topped my last life's at socialization ability. It's not like I want to talk with people or anything! People are such a pain, they should all just die. It'd be easily to deal with people if they were dead. I empathize with Issac Asimov's A.I. that concluded it would be easier to 'take care' of the human race by killing them. I'd be dead too though. Well, back then, it never lead to a fight to the death, just reclusiveness and rumination.

I'd say whatever came off the top of my head. Talking to people felt like walking on eggshells. Even if nothing was happening, it felt like I was going to run into spikes opening my mouth. I couldn't win. There were invisible unwritten rules binding me to utter retardation.

Such is the fate of an autist. Avoiding girls in high school, retreating to my computer, shutting myself off from the rest of life— even if I felt I was breaking free before I died, it was a silent struggle. But now, it's not. It became a violent struggle very quickly.

Violence is inevitable in fantasy, right? If there's no violence you can't call it much of a fantasy. Although I fantasized about violence as an autist alot, imagining kung fu'ing random attackers to the death, the reality was different. Is violence... not so great after all?

I suppose it's something that's fun to watch, but not as amusing to be the one fighting in the ring, marred by blood and sweat. And oncoming sharp objects. The fresh memories of Ouji's sword slicing towards me did not help the situation. But. The exertion and thrill of the fight were fun. I liked that part. The threat of death, not so much.

Can I be OP yet? My feet dragged themselves into the cave. I thought of rest, but my danger sense creeped in. I have to leave now, don't I? Ouji knows the way to this place, so I've got to find somewhere else to go. It would be really nice if I could whip a house out of a infinite storage portal. Or teleport home. Hearthstone, where are ye?

Grumbling about the standards of an isekai and whether I was going to end up struggling or if a revolution of the foundation of the magical sciences was around the next corner, I entered the waterfall cave. Water fell, kept falling. Waterfalls are nice, but cold. I stared into the water, thinking of a bath. Then my jaw tightened, my breath caught. Trouble.

Dread filled me. The rushing water chilled my spine in the silence. Walking further into the damp and dark, I turned. Something is off. Looking towards the entrance of the waterfall cave, I saw what was missing. The wriggling tentacle near the entrance was gone.

I heard the blaring of Anime Girl's instinctual alarm. Spreading out my limbs, I spun to bolt, but then— I got hit from behind. Like a passing wind, a girl appeared in front of me. She moved and cut. Time slowed. She sprinted in front of me, and with her movement, I saw my brown tarp shredded off. Pieces of brown tarp mixed in the air around her back. Chunks of silver hair, my hair, floated in between the brown tarp pieces. Clean cut.

As she turned, I saw a light, playful smile. My muscles didn't budge. My hands couldn't move. My whole body couldn't. Spell or whatever. Annoying annoying. This is it, isn't it. The part where a character bites off more than they can chew due to chance. Tired, our hero is ambushed. Am I the hero? It's not my fault if I Tentacle Beam you. Girl. I'd be defending myself! It's a natural reaction of an Anime Girl when being stripped to strike back. Right? She'd die though. Hah. It's cold. Again.

Naked and frozen I stood, the girl waved with cheer.

"You look better with short hair," the girl said.

[Hohemi.] (Smile.)

Yes, Anime Girl, she has a nice smile. The surprise haircut, not so nice. I tested my muscles. They didn't move. My entire body was slack. It felt strange that I didn't fall over. Like puppet strings were the only thing holding me up, I couldn't move. Something, I lost something. Hohemi's spell was tight.

Hohemi's smile came closer. Heart pounding in my chest, she sheathed a thin black knife in her revealing clothes, then pulled out grey... clothing? Dress?

Hohemi shook out the grey cloth, and I saw it. A dress. With a hood. A hoodie dress. She skinned the tentacle for me? I felt kind of gipped. I wanted to skin that tentacle myself! Strangely clean. I like the craftsmanship. Despite not being able to move I'd admired my attacker's ability to create a fashionable hoodie dress out of a tentacle.

"Do you like it? I was thinking of stealing the tentacle you left here to keep as a pet back home to scare customers. When I touched it, its mana told me it 'wanted to be skinned.'" Hohemi smiled. She walked close, pulling my arms above my head like a doll. Her smiling face too close for comfort, she pulled the tentacle skin hoodie dress down over my arms and body, tugging at the hem. She slipped my arms through the armless dress, adjusting my arms to my sides. She tugged the hoodie down over my eyes, closing off my sight to anything but her smile. Then put her hand on my breast.

"It's not okay even if it's a girl." I said. Hohemi squeezed, a little. I stared her down from under the hoodie, a little, before looking away.

"I gave you a nice haircut and clothing, and this is the thanks I get? It's amazing you're still awake. You're tough," she nonchalantly slid her hand across my chest. "Did you think no one was watching your spat with Ouji? I was rooting for you from some branches nearby. Nice punch, what did you say, burning hand, hikarinare? Never heard language like that. Glad you're alive. You won't live much longer if you don't listen. Those eyes are a giveaway, at first I was fooled because you looked human. You're lucky I found you first, Wizard. You have good taste. What kind of soul gives birth to a homunculi like this? And if I'm right..."

She pressed her palm over my heart. I felt some mana intrude into my body. So small I barely noticed, reminded me of a needleprick. She was looking at my mana? "You're the strongest of Kirei's homunculi I've seen." Hohemi reached behind her back, pulling out and holding up my Mage Tome. She shook it. "You fired that Tentacle Beam. Kirei doesn't have the mana. Everyone else is fooled. They rushed straight in. You've got a chance to survive. If, of course, you join me."

Less than half a minute and I've already been fondled, dressed, and told I can't live on my own. What a control freak. I scanned my body. I felt the mana flowing. I can cast. But, I don't know if she'll survive. Tentacle Beam created a skyscraper, and my other spell might fry her. For now. I'll stall her. What's most important is—

"Please, do not take my book." I complained to Hohemi. I'll ask nicely, first. Before I try murder, there is talk. I'm proud of myself, and, angry. A little angry.

"It's not your book, you stole it," she opened it up, holding the book towards my face. Anime Girl read out the inscription there to me. Kirei, Mage of Mysteries.

"Okay, yes, I fired the Tentacle Beam, and I can totally fire another one." I spat out. Then, I said something I regretted instantly. "Up your ass."

"Crude. Talk about the more important parts for impact, you'll never insult people properly if you go for cliches! How young are you?" Hohemi fired back. My eyes moved down, incidentally landing on her chest. "Yeah, I didn't— sorry. Fight wore me out. I'll think up a better insult, next time. For sure." I murmured. Saying it out loud was painful.

I knew there was zero chance of her understanding, but my mouth kept moving anyways. "I've got a few good things going for me this isekai, why can't I have some convenient ability right now that lets me break free? I like it when the main character is OP, it makes me feel comfortable!"

Digging my grave with a smile on my face. A painful smile. I swear. This is why I don't like people. I talk around the human scum, and then, the words never come out right... dammit where's Anime Girl when I need her? I got two good spells and neither can solve this! Well. Beyond the killing. Killing is an option. Not a good option. An option.

"You're a little crazy, aren't you? That's great." Hohemi shrugged. "Life's a little crazy. I have a lot of crazy friends, all much uglier than you. If you want to stick around, how about sticking with me? There's not a lot of nice places like mine for homunculi in this world, you know."

"Don't take book."

"Maybe," Hohemi said.

I don't like how she said maybe, I wanted a clear ok here. Damn OP assassin girl ganking me out of nowhere, I played enough World of Warcraft in my life to know what it felt like to get toyed with by someone high level this is unfair I'm sending a ticket to the GMs and quitting right now. My A.T. Field didn't even activate what a farce. I could win, I'm sure I could win if we fought, I'm not that exhausted, I totally could wreck her, one versus one no magic, really, if I tried. It's not like I'm mad.

I, just, don't need to bother escaping. Is all. Hohemi's voice cut in on my thoughts. She placed her hand on my chest. Her mana snaking in again, unnerving.

"There's no Mindsnare on you. Nice. Which mage created you? Perhaps you rebelled against Kirei and killed him? Please tell me the good news that he's dead, even if you are lying I want to hear it coming out of you, you've got such a relaxing tone to your voice. I'll even pay. For some reason your voice feels, professional. Entertaining. I like it."

She noticed my Anime Girl voice, well, she has good taste. The japanese work very hard at making every part of the anime shine and I've always loved the sound design and no one else car— wait. Mindsnare? Oh, that's right, Mindsnare was the spell Kirei said he casts to enslave the creatures from the magic eggs after they hatch. If I hatched out of that magic egg a little later, I might have woken up to some good old Mindsnare slavery. Fun. Good thing this girl doesn't have that spell. She doesn't, right?

Unauthorized duplication: this tale has been taken without consent. Report sightings.

"Speak up. Come on." Hohemi shifted the hood of my tentacle dress back. She stared at my face. Hohemi's eyes moved across my face. She's reading. She's reading my face. I'm scared. I was always zero expression neutral on earth, but here, I'm definitely an open book as an Anime Girl! Will this be my downfall?!

"A little help never hurt anyone." Very ominous of you Hohemi, damn you, you learned the Mindsnare spell, didn't you! What kind of luck stat do I have?! "Say you rebelled against Kirei and killed him, and I'll let you go."

Hohemi jerked the top of my tentacle dress hoodie down. I can only see that smile now. I doubt she's serious. Still, killing her just because I'm paranoid because she might have a spell I read about in a book... yeah. Not yet. "And you'll leave the book?"

"But the famous Mage's book will sell for a lot. However, if you want to buy it from me..."

I can't see her eyes from under this hoodie, but I can see where this is going. Pay day loans. Credit card debt. Gambling! Mobile Gatcha Games! This girl will take everything from me if I'm not careful. My instincts kicked in. Never will I fall down the endless hell of Gatcha Games again. Desire is suffering. Okay. Threatening is justified. I think? I don't feel comfortable threatening someone's life, even after what she's done so far. I threatened her anyways.

"I'm not saying it. Leave the book or I'll fry you. I've been holding back this whole time. You could be a very burnt corpse right now."

"I'm holding back too. Hanging out with homunculi it's difficult to survive, and look, there's the cutest homunculi right in front of me..."

no no no. I do not like where this is going. She totally knows Mindsnare. Time for the killing, I'm sorry, my moral code, it's time for you die in a fire right now. And along with my moral code burning, also the smiling ganking girl. I hope the book survives. There's a waterfall here, so there's hope for both the smiling girl and the book, so, I can let go and fire away, right?

Give me a [Honou Ni Nare] full blast Anime Girl!

[Dame.] No.

Anime Girl chimed in. Et tu, Anime Girl? Why?

[Chotto matte.] (wait a second.)

How long? She's going to do the whammy and then slavery, no slavery slavery bad Anime Girl!

[Chotto matte.] (wait a second.)

Hohemi's smile remained in front of me, her eyes blocked by the top rim of my brand new tentacle hoodie. I have a feeling she'd have it on her face even if I was a corpse right now. She backed away. The Mage Tome in her hand.

"Looking at you, I have a horrible feeling. It's not your pretty face, or your voice, but it's almost like you wouldn't mind killing an innocent girl who gave you a haircut and made you a dress. Are you actually a terrible person despite your looks?"

And right when her voice cut off, a black and grey shadow shot towards my head. Mindsnare?! I should have killed her but— My body snapped free, muscles tightened, hand whacking the oncoming shadow away like it was a rotten orange.

"[Idanai desu]." Anime Girl said. Praise be. Nary should I have doubted in Anime Girl, for she delivereth freedom.

"What's that? Was that a counterspell? That? Unnecessarily cute. Too cute! It's too cute a counterspell!" Hohemi's smile faded. My heart dropped at the sight. It's the contrast that got to me. A not-smiling Hohemi looked scary. "Why can't I have at least one homunculi who can work with customers!" Hohemi fired another black and grey Mindsnare towards my head.

"[Idanai desu]." Anime Girl politely declined. She shoo'd away the Mindsnare like smoke. And in my hour of need, did Anime Girl come.

"You'd look excellent in a maid outfit!" Hohemi laid another charge towards me, in the form of a black grey bolt.

"I agree. [Idanai desu]." And the Mindsnare was declined again.

Hohemi went to bolt. I dove in front of her with a sprint. She grit her teeth, then, she relented as a flame appeared in my hand. Holding the Mage Tome forward towards me, she stopped retreating. She started up her smile, again. Suspicion flared in my heart.

"Alright. Alright. Let's play it your way. In the area right now are a bunch of heroes that would love to rip you apart. Not all of them are as nice as Ouji. It's unclear how stupid he is versus how horny, this time I'm going to assume he thought it'd be nice to let a homunculus live."

"The book, the book, [Hou]." (book)

"Okay okay." Hohemi flung it backwards. She went to run straight past me, but I foresaw her move. My foot hooked around her knee, tripping her into the waterfall. She dropped like a rock into the water below. I watched as she swam away with the current, waiting until she was at a great distance to pop above water and call out to me.

"If you want a job in town, I'll hire you! Ask for Hohemi!"

A dazzling smile in the sunlight. Drenched revealing clothing. Yep. Good. Too bad she went for the Mindsnare, that always ruins a pretty face. Oh, her name. Her real name got obscured by the one Anime Girl gave her. Whatever. It's not like I want to see her again. I hope I never do. With a sigh, my stance relaxed. I'm relieved. I didn't have to fry her. Me not murderer. Thank you, Anime Girl. I watched Hohemi swim even further away.

I squinted at her as she disappeared. A sigh bubbled out of my mouth as I stretched out my limbs. Two in a row. Two. Two hum- er, heroes? Adventurers. More isekai-ish. Two adventurers. Stretching my shoulders by flexing each arm up, I ambled towards the back of the cave.

There, lying on the damp ground with it's pages smooshed into the rock was my precious. I sat down, gathering it up and arranging the pages neatly, I closed the book. Then, I shamelessly rubbed my face on it, feeling the smooth texture.

Let's recap. I feel like recapping. She cut my hair. Strike one. It's not like I was a big fan of long hair or anything. That wasn't her hair to cut, and! Strike two. I was looking forward to skinning that tentacle. How dare you skin my tentacle without me asking? How does a tentacle even 'want to be skinned'? Did I influence it when I was carrying the wriggling tentacle or something? How!

How dare she. It's not like I thought I could make a better dress than this. There's no internet in this world. No way to google it. In my last life I imagined from time to time, what would life be like without the internet?

I'm less than two days in and I feel like almost died four times. Anteater. Bear punch. Ouji. Hohemi. Give an Anime Girl a break. Where is my teatime with snack cakes and aimless bonding with cute girls over cute activities like Beam Rifle competitions? I want some simplicity to my life. Where is my OP cheat ability? Where is my yuri harem?

Human greed is endless. I learned that from Gegege no Kitaro, from Medama-oyaji. It's true. What a piece of work that girl was. You no take book, Hohemi. I shamelessly smothered my cheek against the book. I'm glad no one is watching. My precious.

I don't know if Ouji or Hohemi was worse. With Hohemi, she clearly, did, well. " H e l p . " I hesitate to say it to myself. My hand ran over the tentacle garment. Tugging on the top rim of the hood, I admired the construction. I liked this. Covers the face. Armhole slits are nice. My brown tarp didn't have armhole slits, giving it more of a cape feel. Now I have a hoodie dress. At least not naked, again. And, running my hand across the tentacle hoodie, the texture is smooth. I have to admit, it's a good job. I have no idea how she made this.

Hohemi did clue me in on a lot. Kirei. More hum-, er adventurers in the area. Mindsnare. That Anime Girl can shoo it away with an [Idanai desu]. That was, yeah, I liked the part where I didn't have to burn a girl alive. That, that was nice. It was because what Hohemi did for and to me was somewhat useful, that I felt even worse about how she did it.

I pulled the book away from my face, my eyes tearing up a little, just a little, okay, as my hand rose to check my hair. Running my fingers through it, feeling it out in strands, I surveyed the damage. Not bald. I was afraid to stand up and check it out in the river.

I couldn't do anything. She appeared out of nowhere. It was a flash. Then, that holding spell she put on me. The one that held me up like a puppet on strings. Praise be to Anime Girl for breaking it.

[Arigato.]

No, thank you. I was upset you didn't listen to me when I went to, well, burn her to death, but, hey, it worked out. This is great.

A very long inhale. A very long beleaguered exhale. I want to die. I already died once, so the words were empty. Really, I thought it was going to be uphill from here. I stared at the book in my hands. Not yet, at least. I opened the Mage Tome. I'm not moving a single—

[Chotto matte.]

No, please, Anime Girl, let's read and become OP now. Please?

[Ouji. Kaeru?] (Ouji. will he come back here?)

It seemed like from Anime Girl's tone even she didn't know what 'kaeru' meant. She's feeding off my soul's memories of anime. Can't be helped. But, she's right though. I remembered thinking the same earlier, but some smile had to butt in on me.

I opened the book anyways, intent on reading. The sound of rushing water chilled my spine. I want to wash myself. Especially after that run in with Hohemi. I was already done in when I planted Ouji in the ground.

I can't focus. My eyes are blankly staring at the page. Nothing's coming. The squiggles and arcane scratches looked like squiggles and scratches. Anime Girl was laying down on the job. I don't blame her, I'm done as well. Battery low, I rose my body with strength tensing my legs.

I'm not safe here. Ouji is, well. Is he as dangerous as Hohemi? Nah. But, if he comes back with intent to kill... somehow I really doubted he would. It seemed like he's the type who would shake it off no matter what I did. Ouji, probably, doesn't take girls seriously at all. My instinct from my past life seeped in. He, sort of reminded me of those, what do you call them?

I don't know, I just know that I don't want to be here. Dragging my feet heavily pretending like I was zombie and groaning theatrically for my own amusement, I left the waterfall cave. I carefully, carefully set the Mage Tome down near the riverbank. With a quick neat movement I disrobed and my tentacle skin hoodie dress was folded on top of the book. It looks neat, there, sitting there like that.

Stumbling over to the water, I scanned my reflection. Short silver grey fluffy hair, fanning out. Ran my hand through it, dragging it out. Fluffy. Much more fluffiness. Looked like my hair grew a little, or got thick. Comparing it to my image of Anime Girl's straight silver hair in my mind, I don't see how a simple dagger cut changed my hair that much.

The thought reminded me of what Hohemi said about the tentacle's mana talking to her. I held the wriggling tentacle and it was my mana, and I did think about skinning it. How that thought gets imprinted on the tentacle, however—

I toppled over into the water. Eyes squinted. I don't like thinking as much as I do. But, I do it anyways. The cold felt nice. Drifting, I sank to the bottom like an anvil. I knew this guy once who sank in water. Just, naturally, couldn't float. Apparently, it's only like two percent of the human population, but, somehow, that applies to me now. I guess. It took me a good minute before I realized I wasn't breathing. My eyes opened.

Oh wow, there's like, fish down here. Ha. I was always scared to open my eyes underwater, so I— is that fish swimming towards me? I panicked, swimming madly up, I dragged myself on the bank, gasping for breath. Looking back at the water, I saw an ominous fin crack through the water.

Grumbling, I got up. Cold, the wind blew across my naked body. It's unfortunate how naked I've been since I was reborn. Praying to my tentacle hoodie, I felt a little better. Then, I shook myself off imitating a dog. To my surprise, it worked. I checked my arms and folded up one of my legs, holding my ankle with my hand. Not a drop of water on me. It'd be nice to have some way to record all this. I could become an Anime Girl Physicist in the future.

As I neatly unfolded and put on the tentacle hoodie dress, I imagined a dream of the future. I'd be standing in front of a class, with a lab coat on, glasses, explaining the nature of Anime Girl Physics and Anime Girl Logic. I chuckled to myself amicably as my hand scooped up the Mage Tome. I stuck it inside my dress.

Where to go now? I turned, looking towards the big tentacle scraping the sky. Away from that. Turning my head, I scanned the cliffs. Would adventurers be able to scale those cliffs? I tested my body. It's not normal. On my 'to-not-do' list was rock climbing. However, if I climbed that cliff right now with the power of this body, then I could be safe from any more adventurers.

Hopefully. It'd be awful if one of them caught sight of me when I was climbing, flew over with magic, then tried to chat me up. I ran my right hand along my upper arm. It's probably, best, to, get it over with now. I'll sleep at the top. There might be more random gold armor wearing heroes or girls who want to take me home crawling around. If I'm ever going to read, I need to be safe. I walked up to the cliff face. Tall. I put my hand out, then shrunk back. There's gotta be another, better way to do this... a tentacle beam? No, I don't trust myself to control it. I might end up with yet another sign saying, "Hey, I'm here!" And now, thanks to Hohemi, I know I'm not going to be treated as nicely as with Ouji. If you can call what happened nice.

Wait, isn't it, wasn't that, kind of my fault? Anime Girl, yeah, but— no, no, stop distracting yourself. There's a way out of this, and it's up. I'm tired, but it's because I'm tired that I need to climb.

Procrastinating while staring at the rock face in front of me, I wondered if there was a magic spell for recovery. How would I cast it? It might deform my body. I sneaked a glance at the tentacle skyscraper in the distance. Yeah. Using magic is more liable to get me a response like Honou Ni Nare. But, I'll try it anyways. Might as well experiment. I have plenty of mana, just need to use, a lot, of control.

Mana Allotment: fingertip. Image: Jojo Character. I had Dio Brando in mind, there's one image of him looking over his shoulder that felt like a strong memory. Trigger: I won't say it out loud. I'm tired of yelling out spells. It works in anime and games, for the japanese audience, but I'm not japanese. I don't get it. It's exciting to watch. I'll do a finger snap.

I stared at my hand. Never was good at these. Placing my fingertips together, they broke past each other. My fingers naturally snapped out a clear note. Sounded, musical? Strange. Then, my body felt big. It was like a grew a few inches. Sliding my hands along my sides and legs, then up over my arms and hair, I checked to make sure. Something changed, but I can't tell what.

Either way, when I looked at the rock face in front of me, it didn't seem as intimidating. My hand moved forward a grasped, my slim white fingers slipping into cracks of the rock. I looked down for a place for my foot. I placed the foot there, testing my weight. Then, I levered myself up.

Not so bad. I guess? And then I scaled the cliff face like a cockroach. Anime Girl Logic? I swear I've seen a scene like it, where the character rapidly ascends to the point of it looking intentionally creepy. I guess it wasn't much of a roadblock as I thought. It just looked big. Yeah, actually it was—