Ouji tagged along with glee, shepherding me towards the university. If I remember right, this is the place where Negi said Kirei had his comfy tower of doom. I already met him at the shop, so there's no need to be afraid of running into him. Still. I'm afraid. I'll admit it. His presence was beyond intimidating. Probably his height. Or, how angry I got at him. Or it could just be how he talked to me out of nowhere. I don't like entering any conversation unless it's my idea first. I'll bet on it being his height.
Stehy and Niji were in loafer form on my feet. They followed soon after I left the Laughing Dragon, Stehy grumbling. It takes time to build a relationship, you know? Like 50-150 hours according to what I read on the internet. It was a study, science, so I'm not making it up. I'm already tired after a minute or two of pure socialization, and that was before I heard about the maybe-tournament and got door-blocked by Kirei. It's no good. I'll have to soldier on and talk to the moon elf, or this day might get worse. Just because Cheru's note to Ouji said there would be a tournament doesn't mean I'm a participant. But, the timing. I registered yesterday, I'm SSS+ rank, it's not like I can sleep the day aways.
There is the off chance that I can ditch the event and no one will care. I can't be sure about it. And so, in desperation, I'll talk to the moon elf and beg for her pity. I'm so young, my power may be great, but I can't control it at all, I'm no match for people with serious training and years under their belt. My battle experience is near zero. It's even sadder now that I think about it, I seriously thought I could take on a Negi because I took out an Ouji. My expectations are too high. I turned my attention to the scenery and the weather, always a welcome distraction from my internal bellyaching.
The first six hills of Nephilz were the Adventurer's Mount, the four Commoner Bunker Hills, and Artist's Mount. The seventh hill was named Royal Mount. There were spires and stonework etched out against the sun, Royal Mount bristled with more greenery than the other hills, but there were also higher buildings. Looked like a scared porcupine. Sonic the hedgehog's hair? Either way, the architect seemed to think that he was tired of building big long houses or smaller square buildings, so this time, he'd go for a tower theme. Tower after tower rose above Royal Mount.
"The Palace is at the top there." Ouji pointed at the summit of the Royal Mount. "If you ever have an urge for another one of your cataclysmic Tentacle Beams, please give me time to evacuate the people who matter. An hour or two is fine."
I'd mentioned to him on the way into the city about my power level, so when we hit the adventurer's guild and I ranked SSS+ he wasn't surprised. I'm getting treated like a walking bomb. Given the way I act and talk toward Ouji, I realized I deserved it.
I recreated what I must be like in Ouji's mind using my imagination. First, he met a girl speaking a strange language, he falls on her, apologizes, then ends in a life or death fight with her(me) over a breast touch. The girl wrecks him with a punch. Then, she shows up where he's camping, and Ouji, deferring to his sense of justice(lust) decides to err on the side of not ordering the murdering of the girl who savaged him. After that, he learns she was the cause of the Tentacle Beam in the first place, the Tentacle, no doubt, that killed many of his fellows in battle. Oh, before that I threatened to kill his family—
Suddenly, I feel like a horrible person.
"What's wrong?" Ouji's senses tingled. It a result of his riajuu power reaching it's zenith. Or my all-too-expressive face giving him clues. I waved his curiosity off with some questions about Elu.
"Elu doesn't talk. Ever. She'll be in the library. If I get too close, I pass out. There's this cold wave she emits within a certain radius, so I covered myself in flame and walked toward her, only to wake later in the evening crumpled in the hallway."
Ouji wanted a Moon Elf so badly he covered himself in that yellow piss-colored flame of his? And, what's with a girl who has a continuous area of effect freeze aura activated all the time? What about her mana pool? Wouldn't she run out? Ah, unless it has a detection mechanism that senses intent to talk to her and activates then, that would limit mana conservation.
That said, I'm assuming my mana pool is something strange in this world. Given what the secretary at the Adventurer's Guild said, I'm worried. If SSS+ isn't special, then, what is? My thinking lead to the Moon Elves. Everything I asked Ouji about them was a variation of 'durr hurr I dunno lol.' So, maybe they are simply on a higher level. They do live on the moon. And, if you compare them to the masochistic low elves, they do have the aura of a proper elf. Mysterious! Beautiful! Powerful beyond measure!
This is the nature of an elf! I sneered at a low elf we passed, he gave me a big smile and a wave. Disgusting. Is it still murder if they might be okay with it? Consensual murder? Is that a thing? Either way, I don't want to do it, both because they might enjoy that sort of thing and that's gross, and also I have ideals to preserve. I left the low elf to his eternally pathetic existence, nearing the base of the Royal Mount.
There weren't any gates to the Royal Mount, and Ouji and I entered through maze of trees and towers. Felt more like a secluded mountain than a city. Various gallantly dressed characters passed us, each of them had the character design of an university student, a variation of Gandalf, or final boss.
I had naturally expected that there would be skirts and thighhigh combinations for the university uniforms, all being the same and tight to the skin in order to entice anyone happening to view the girls in the flower of youth. However, sadly, no such reality existed. There were girls, yes, but their clothing left all to be desired. How conservative, what is this, Hogwarts? There weren't any flowing black robes, Kirei's was the one who was closest to that sort of look. A Black Mage is a Black Mage no matter which world they live in, I guess.
Instead, these outfits had great detail. The themes were flowers, sky, imitating paintings or weather. Works of art more than clothes. I haven't heard too much about the Artist's Mount, but looking at the clothing I was reminded of Hohemi's Tentacle skin dress she made for me. Sleek construction, functional, simple to extravagant designs.
What struck me the most was how individualized they all seemed. I thought this was a world that sealed off imagination at birth, but it seems that looks different than I though. My mind was bothering me about something ever since I heard about the Commoners, four hills worth of them, not working at all, but I didn't understand where my head was heading with that thought. Some puzzle piece wasn't clicking, and these clothes were part of the puzzle.
I might have to go see Hohemi after all. It doesn't have to be her, I could avoid her entirely, I'm sure, but, I think part of me wanted to face her down and act all smug like I'm better now that I'm OP with cool clothing summons. Either that or I'm no better than a low elf and have some masochism within myself. I shivered at the thought.
Ah, dammit. I don't feel OP at all, and I have a maybe-tournament maybe coming up against skilled opponents so... isn't this the worst situation? It's my lack of control. I really want more training time. If there is anything I want from the moon elf, I want a postponement!
We reached the outside of the library tower. Grand doors etched with mythic scenes rose far above our heads, I had to crane my neck to see the top. And, at my eye level, two smaller doors. I wonder why they need doors this big? There are hybrids I saw in the city who were large, maybe it's like handicap access for dragons. "Why can't a hybrid get into the library? I want equal treatment! My size should not impede my learning ability!" Is it like that?
Ouji followed me in, and lead me in a beeline towards a far corner. A maze of bookshelves impeded us, but Ouji slipped through them, even when it looked like they were specifically designed to cut off your movement, Ouji would shift his body and squeeze through like a cockroach. Was whoever made this place thinking of dragons getting books or not? Ouji stopped, pointing towards a corner with a girl, then slid into a nearby chair.
"Good luck. I'll carry you out if you faint."
There's no chance I'll give him an opportunity for a princess carry. I need a plan. I stepped forward, taking a good look at the Moon Elf, Elu. As I neared, I felt the tinge of cold. My fingertips already felt numb, and I even had gloves on. I'm glad in advance my clothing is winter styled. I wrapped my scarf around my hands, and stared at Elu.
She's sitting there, reading, in a corner with a shaft of light pouring in on her. Angelic marble skin, a monocle hidden under her white hair, her bright eyes tracking the book before her ceaselessly.
My heart froze. Should I throw a paper airplane at her? There's no option to text her, she has no smartphone, and even if she did, I have no number, nor the means to acquire it. Even if Ouji happened to have her smartphone number somehow, getting a text from someone you don't know is the equivalent of robocalling! I clenched my fist. I can't forgive red light cameras or robocallers. I understand Earth is a difficult world, but, there has to be a better way than annoying the crap out of people with unsolicited requests for the the precious currency that is the lifeblood of our society! How do you expect me to live!
Oh. Yeah, that's right. I don't have to talk to her directly. But, a paper airplane goes against my aesthetic. It's too much like what a kid would do in school. I need to write it out, then, deliver the paper in person. I thought to myself, asking my clothing summons for any paper conjuring services. And a pen. Need a pen, too.
And, nothing. Yarko cackled, Niji said nothing per usual, Stehy grunted. I'm sure Stehy could summon the U.S.S. Enterprise, and, even if they don't have the Replicator in the Sci-fi version, a normal aircraft carrier should have paper and pen. That's standard. Basic of basics! But, I don't even have enough space in this library to summon an aircraft carrier or spaceship in the first place, so both are out. I'd need to pry into Stehy's business about her abilities as well, this is also out.
There is my own magic. I'll use it. I asked Anime Girl to help regulate the spell, and then I cast a simple conjuring spell. My image was a simple white sheet of paper and a cheap pen, but what came out was a pink envelope with a heart sticker, and an accompanying pink pen. I clinched the pen and examined it with two fingers like a crab, filled with disgust.
Hello Kitty was emboldened on the side. It reminded of me when I was a kid, only girls used Hello Kitty stuff! Although, I suppose I grew up into the kind of person who spent all day watching cute girls existing cutely in anime, so in the end who was truly more feminine? And, in this life, I am an Anime Girl, so you can't get more feminine than actually being a girl.
My manly soul cried a little as I penned out my message.
"Hi Elu,
I am an Anime Girl who is two weeks old and I don't want to fight anyone because I am bad at magic so could you please postpone the tournament if there is one I don't actually know because no one tells me these things. Btw I am a homunculi that is how I am two weeks old yet looks like this. My SSS+ rank isn't my fault and I don't want to fight Imouto so plz consider my feelings!
Stolen from Royal Road, this story should be reported if encountered on Amazon.
Love,
Wizard"
My fingers didn't write how I wanted to write. There's this disconnect between what you'll write on a page and what you'll say out loud, one of the secrets of great novelists is they speak the sentences they write out loud for this reason. They want to give the language on the page a feeling of being 'spoken dialogue,' like it's a story being 'said out loud to the reader' instead of just words on a page. It's a way to give flavor and sound to the writing. I suspected that since my brain is an Anime Girl brain, and I don't know how to write in this language either, that Anime Girl was translating what I really wanted to say through her own sense of language.
I stared at the page and reread it. I could summon another love letter. Try again. I could do that. But, my laziness kicked in. It's good enough, isn't it? I'm not here to improve my handwriting skills, I'm here to communicate my patheticness! In that sense, isn't a poorly worded run-on complaint like this absolutely perfect?! It's like the words themselves are saying, "please take pity on me~" Isn't that great? This is a masterpiece! It's absolutely perfect and I wouldn't change a bit! If I can settle for less, why not settle for less? This is fine. Everything is fine. Except everything. But, if I give into my idealism I'll become a perfectionist and stand here all day, besides, if she doesn't understand I can just try again.
I sneaked a look at Elu. Still reading. Okay. My hands expertly and impossibly neatly folded the love letter and sealed it with a heart sticker, my pen signing "Elu" on the front. Now, the approach.
Talking to a pretty girl out of nowhere is impossible. It's a feat that only an idiot like Ouji can accomplish. I never managed it even once in my last life! However! The rules are different! Now, I am also a pretty girl! Whether it is a matter of yuri or not, there is no expectation of romantic/sexual danger when two girls are involved! No matter how attractive the girl is, I am also very attractive! We are on an equal stage. So, it should be a simple matter to walk up to her, leave the note, flee, and hope she reads it.
There is the matter of the cold aura. I already a spell in mind though. There's this character that no one would normally care about, an almost-mob character, in the Certain Magical Index universe. She also is in Railgun. Both anime have her there, existing, she has lines, she's cute, and she has a gag with another almost-mob character where her skirt keeps getting flipped.
It's not believable that a girl would flip the skirt of another girl to check her panties. But, since it's anime, I accept it without thinking. It's normal for Saten to flip Uiharu's skirt. It's two girls! Even if I had only seen this done with a boy flipping a girls skirt before in anime, now it's one girl doing it to another girl. That is what makes it special! If Saten was a boy and flipped Uiharu's skirt, it would be normal in japanese media. It's because Saten is a girl that it's fun!
Which doesn't apply much to my understanding of earth's culture, or this world's culture. That's japanese entertainment culture, anime troupes. I can't rely on any of those here— but there is something from Uiharu which does translate to this world.
Her ability. It's natural in anime to have a bunch of super powered teenagers with whacky abilities, and in the Index anime universe, not everyone gets to as special as the cooler characters. By default, Uiharu has a superpower, but it's such a useless superpower in her world that she never gets to use it to great effect on the plot. But! It still defies the laws of physics!
Uiharu's ability is to maintain temperature. She's about as useful as a YETI cooler or one of those steel canisters that keep your soup warm. Today, that changes. I will bring meaning to her failure of an ability. Since I have the image of the almost-mob Uiharu using her ability in a situation just like this one, where she approaches a girl with takoyaki and keeps it warm, I can bring out her ability to the fullest here with my magic!
Right now, I'm not cold, so all I have to do is maintain my temperature with Uiharu's ability. And, unlike the Dio spell I cast which gave Anime Girl Stand power, this won't warp my body beyond temperature. It's perfect. A completely useless seeming ability of an Anime Girl to alter physics, right here! Right now! I will make that ability useful.
And then it occurred to me that I could just have Anime Girl fly the love letter over in Stand form. Curses. No! Wait! If I did that I'd be revealing my magic, Elu might be able to see Anime Girl! I'd be putting her in danger, inviting questions into Anime Girls existence! More importantly, I want to believe Uiharu's ability can be useful. Uiharu holding takoyaki perfectly warm in her hands in my mind, I cast the spell.
Stepping forward towards Elu, I felt exactly as cold as before. I am still cold, but I am no colder. I shrunk the distance between us with each tap of my loafers against the stone below. Elu is farther than I thought. My heart beat faster. I'm going to do it. It's fine. We're both girls. And, I'll run away right after placing the letter down! Face this, the truth of this world! I am walking towards Elu and I am cold, but I am getting not a single degree colder. Uiharu's power is shredding your useless area of effect cold aura, Elu!
ha ha ha
Is what I'd like to say, but the whole situation began to have me on the verge of tears. Standing near the reading moon elf, who did not budge a single millimeter, I placed the love letter on the chair next to her. I dashed away, hiding behind a desk beyond the reach of the cold aura. Crouching behind the desk, I peeked over, watching Elu as I deactivated Uiharu's ability.
I felt slightly warmer. The temperature difference between the stasis of the cold aura and regular room temperature was mild. It worked, that is what's important. I stared at Elu. And stared. The moon elf turned the page of her book, eyes tracking it like usual. I might as well be air.
Ouji laughed. A good, hearty, laugh. I forgot this golden armored beetle even existed. Frowning furiously at Elu, I stared daggers at her, chanting mantras in my mind trying to will her to look at the love letter. Read it. Read it. Read it. Read it. You have to read it! I put in so much effort! Well, not that much but it was really hard for me, why are you thinking only of yourself, Elu?! How selfish could you possibly be, I'm the one who might have to fight a little girl with a kitchen knife tonight! What about my feelings! Read it!
"Read it!" I cheered Elu on from my desk bunker. "Read it, read it, read it, read it—"
And my mantra continued out loud, taking on a melodic, repetitive tone. Is this a baseball game? Am I cheering for my team? What's going on here? I'm slowly losing my already tenuous grip on reality.
This is pure fear. Pure excitement. Pure loss of control! Move your hand, Elu! It was like I was praying, chanting, wishing! Elu needs to read my love letter! Make it so! Oh, and my voice grew louder and changed in pitch. It started to feel like I was singing an Anime Opening. I am an Anime Girl, so this is natural.
"Read it, Elu, makka na chikai, itsu ma demo, itsu ma demo, o suzu ki ru ta! Read it, Elu!"
The music of my voice increased in complexity, intensity, and artistic skill. I was in chorus in the youth of my autist life, but I was just mimicking the notes other people would make. I never did understand how to 'sing a G note' or whatever, or read musical notation. I even played Trombone this way, I never learned to buzz my lips properly, so when I performed on stage, I just imitated the people beside me. How was I supposed to play, I could barely understand why I was on stage in the first place. Like everything else, it was one 'i dunno lol' to another.
But now, this, this voice sounds good. I can admit it. I know what I like. I know that much. And I like what I'm singing. Even if this is the strangest possible situation and I don't even know if the tournament actually exists, I had my heart set on Elu reading my love letter like nothing else!
The whole world, all the books, and gratefully Ouji, became nothing! Existence itself became my song, Elu's body, and the love letter sitting next to her!
I saw Elu's head move. Finally. A silent swivel towards me, she locked eyes on a point past my face. She wasn't looking at me, but she was. She put a finger vertically across her lips, then went back to reading. I genuflected. Making a full mochi dogeza out of my body, I realized what I had done. I'm not crying. It's happens to be a water spell I am casting.
I heard Ouji's armor clank, and through the tower's stone floor, his steps. He's coming over to me. Is it a backpat? Will he backpat? How dare you console me in my moment of weakness, you're just an Ouji! Unforgivable! I rose, my fist closing, uppercutting him with all my strength, I watched as a gold blur spun into the air, heading straight into the ceiling, drilling a hole to the next tower floor. I sighed at the sight, and collapsed. My knees splayed on the ground, flak from the explosion above fell and littered the ground in front of me.
I'm burnt out. Ashita no Joe appeared in my mind. I never watched the anime, but I did see the final scene where he sat down, he's entirely white. He's done. I'm done. There is no death anymore. There is only exhaustion. The colors of my world have faded.
Taps rung out against the stone. In the broken silence, my hearing registered the change, and my eyes moved to see the moon elf move. She glided over to me, her pace showing not an ounce of hurry as she delicately unfolded my love letter. I watched her eyes track across it. Nearing a studying desk, Elu desposited the love letter envelope, leaving it behind. I activated my Uiharu spell, tucked behind a desk, I pretended she couldn't see me.
The moon elf pulled out a chair at the desk I hid behind. She opened up a book she had with her, and read. The space between us is not even a meter in distance. If I didn't have Uiharu's ability active with my magic, how frozen would I be? Would I be encased in a block of ice like what Negi did to me? Either way, Elu's silence and presence faded despite her proximity, as if her coming closer had reduced the total sum of her existence to me rather than amplifying it.
I slid upwards into a chair opposite Elu. I grabbed a book off a nearby shelf, and opened it. I made a show of reading across from her, whether she noticed or not I didn't care. The options were becoming clear. I couldn't use noise. That would prompt further action from Elu, mysterious and calm as she was, it could be anything. And, I thought poorly of myself for interrupting the moon elf's reading.
Elu shut her book. I froze. The girl set the book aside to a neatly calculated position to her left, then she reached into her clothes, pulling out a silver notebook. A pen flashed from inside as well. She diligently opened her notebook, smoothed out the page, and began writing.
I raised my book like a shield, hoping this would end well. Combat seemed unlikely. But, I did think I tested her patience. Elu put down her pen, placing her palm on the page, she parted the written leaf of paper from it's notebook, and slid it halfway across the desk towards me. She returned the silver notebook to the inside of her clothing, retrieving her book and opening it back up to the proper page.
My hand slid out, fingers levered down onto the paper, and I returned the notebook page and placed it in the book I was hiding behind. The neat handwriting on the page mirrored the professional quality of a laser printer, the spacing and typography were enough to be considered calligraphy in my eyes, even though I didn't know the language, I thought of it as the work of a disciplined, skilled hand and taciturn mind. And it looked pretty. I snuck a peek at the moon elf, the calligraphy fit her, as if it was an extension of her character. I read.
"To the loud homunculi,
I have heard of an SSS+ rank registering at the Adventurer's Guild. It is the custom of this world to hold a tournament to rank the world's strongest by top ten, however, you have been banned in advance for your egregious behavior. Take the useless prince and leave. If you disturb my quietude so brusquely I will be forced to report to the proper authorities. It is within my grace and wisdom to pardon you this one time, hoping that you reform yourself and live properly in this world.
On another note, I was forwarded your status for perusal. I found it amusing to read. It is a shame you did not live up to my expectations in person. I was very scared being approached out of the blue, my heart was racing so hard I thought I was going to die. Your mana pool is obscenely large, and I have no doubt this will cause you no end of trouble in the future. No matter what your goals are in this world, be assured, there are powers above yours which will come to punish you if you act out of line.
The rules being enforced for Errera change all the time, so I cannot give you specifics. For your sake, I believe a quiet life is best. If you wish to contact me again for further advice, please locate Cheru. I made an exception this once and wrote you this letter because I felt it proper to address a letter with a letter.
Never speak to me again,
Observer-Class Elu"
I did a silent fist pump, snuck away, leaving the page behind in case the moon elf would take offense at me making off with it, found the stairs to the next floor, scaled them, secured Ouji's limp body, and escaped the library. That's one problem down. I'm glad to be alive. The sun outside is bright, it's noon, and I can freely rest for the evening. A good year of slacking off might do me some good. Conquer the city? Purge the unclean? Surely, madness. I'm a small fry, even with SSS+, it's been confirmed: I am a small fry! And I couldn't be happier. Time to resume the days of peace. A quiet and mediocre life with no challenge might suit me the best, after all!