Psychic ninja moon elves. It's possible.

「Wizard? Are you there?」

Oh yes, reality. Damn it. In this case, I'm inside a dream, but it's my reality. The stylish victorian mansion of Yume Nasai, a spell cast by Anime Girl. I sat in a drawing room, a merry fireplace cackling sparks over wood logs, a moose head mounted above.

This is a nice place. I didn't think I had taste this good. Well, this mansion is a creation of Ani—

「Is Wizard asleep?」Stehy said. She's somewhere next to Hohemi. The two of them were all smiles when they met. Damn loli never smiled like that to me.

"Wizard's playing dead."

I could hear Hohemi's smile behind her words. I'm glad she's got the smile back up, reminds me of when we met back in that cave. Back when it was just me versus her.

Unfortunately, now, I am outnumbered four to one, and I'm not counting the maids or that one butler who suspiciously looked like Sebas-chan from Kuroshitsuji.

「Wizard's weird。I like Anime Girl。Wizard, however。Something's off。I don't like it。 」Yarko's voice floated in from the other side of the table. She was next to Niji, who had her arms crossed the last time I saw her.

Because right now, my arms are crossed as well. I tucked them under my breasts because that felt like a nice spot to place them, and with them secured under the breast weight I also nodded my head forward, keeping my eyes shut. I'm pretending to look like I'm thinking deeply and seriously right now. I know there are four people, well three clothes one real person and this is a dream house inside my head—

[Baka.] Anime Girl's chop tapped lightly on my head. She sat next to me. I was surprised she was wearing clothes when I got here, I assumed she'd be naked like always. But no, a white puffy comfy sweater and a long skirt entirely covering her legs. I see that she has taken after me and become someone who never wants to be anywhere near naked again. Was it an early trauma? Those days running about in the forest naked?

Despite Anime Girl's chop, I didn't move. After all, the questions being posed to me by this Clothing Council were egregious and in retrospect I regret relying on Hohemi for help with 'communication.'

「Let's ignore Wizard。Wizard's ignoring us。」Yarko said.

My eyes snapped open and I looked towards Anime Girl. Anime Girl looked over at Yarko with a sour face. I was relieved to see that my true ally here is still firmly at my side. Then, I closed my eyes, content that if nothing else, there is Anime Girl. I smiled, taking comfort in that fact.

Anime Girl spoke out in harsh tones. I had no idea what she said as usual, and it was far more complex than her usual japanese, so I didn't get a word of it. She's defending me. I hope.

「I know。」Yarko said. 「Wizard is trash。Leave him behind。I don't like him。I almost killed Negi。He was right there, right almost dead, then Wizard swoops in and knocks me out。Negi froze you in ice。Negi attacked you with swords。」

Anime Girl's response grew heated. I smiled to myself even wider. Yes, please, justify my violence for me, that's a good Anime Girl. After all, I did what was right. Yarko was defending herself from Negi, so it's not like she was in the wrong, but that doesn't mean I can't step in and help someone not die. I saved his life. Healed him. I'm a good person. Even though Negi's magic might be, tainted, he's alive and that's what's important!

Stehy and Hohemi didn't step into Anime Girl's adamant defense. I'm sure it's only because the only girl here who could understand Anime Girl at all was Yarko.

Stehy did bring out a computer she found with a translation service on it— sadly no internet access, my hopes were dashed— and Anime Girl did try to use it, but only lewd words came out so the computer was banned by me. Stehy complained 「We should keep trying, she's not doing it on purpose。」But I couldn't bear to see her embarrass herself like that. I think I was the only one who cared. Hohemi was interested in understanding her japanese, but she let it slide, like many other comments at the Clothing Council.

I'm sure her common sense has taken a good beating. I snuck another glimpse to check Hohemi's face. She's got the smile on. Oh. So I have no idea what she's thinking. Wait, wasn't that always true? I sighed.

「Look。We can fix this。Wizard healed Negi。I can kill him。A dead Negi is good。A dead Negi is enough。I will forgive Wizard when I kill Negi。」 Yarko said.

Anime Girl fired back. Yarko grunted, then I heard her voice drop. 「Morality is dumb。」

I took another one eyed peek to see Yarko slouch back in her chair, staring off at the moose head hanging over the fireplace.I think I can imagine what Anime Girl said. Pacifism, death bad, blah blah. We share a bond, Anime Girl and I, no one understands. Just because Negi's an enemy doesn't mean you can't heal him, no, in fact, it's because he's an enemy who put me through a painful battle(in many ways) that healing him instead of letting him die is vital! It's important to preserve the rules when they are most at risk. And it's more fun that way.

I began to think that maybe healing Negi was more of a way of reenacting something I remember happening in Anime rather than my own beliefs. Either way, the reality of my own morality and the dream of Anime morality mixed over the years of watching so much Anime. Is my morality entirely colored in Anime? Do I have no sense of reality? Of course.

"Hmph." I opened my eyes. I intentionally made the sound, and a serious face. It's not like I was hiding all this time. This face, this face is the face of someone who was waiting for the right moment. I planned all this. It was a delicate analysis of a complex situation involving the three factions inherent in Yume Nasai, a grand masterstroke— nope.

"Hmph." I said it out loud again, louder this time. I looked around at everyone. Oh yeah, that's right, there's people here. And a disagreement. And Niji, who sat next to Yarko with her arms folded with an imperious look. The loli tore my heart out. The memory troubled me. The desire to run away increased. Anime Girl's hand grasped my shoulder. Damn you. This is betrayal!

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"Okay." I relented. "Yarko. I'll admit it. Healing Negi was stupid." It was about as truthful and accurate as I could come up with at the moment.

「Then let me kill him。Anime Girl will listen to you。」

I looked at Anime Girl. I couldn't tell what her face was saying to me, but I believed she had utter faith that I wouldn't order Negi's death. I wanted to believe she believed in me, and she gave me no evidence otherwise, so I felt relieved. I challenged Yarko.

"We're not going to do that. I healed Negi. It's done. I wanted to do it. I wouldn't take it back if I could."

Yarko grumbled. I thought she would ask for reasons why. It doesn't seem like Yarko is the type of girl who cares about reason. How typical of a manifestation of the concept of chaos. Stehy barged into the conversation as soon as the room settled, very regal tone.

「Let's move on to the real issue。Niji。We spoke, extensively, before this, would you like to recite your complaints to the Council?」

By the way, the one who decided to call this meeting the Clothing Council was Stehy, so don't blame me for the stupid name. Though, I was the one who though having loafer lolis was a good idea in the first place. Maybe everything is my fault? Yep. If I want someone to blame, I'm always there, so I'm always a good target for blame.

Niji's body relaxed. Her arms uncrossed, her head hung, her face turning from arrogance to despair. Her eyes looked down.

「I'm sorry。」

Niji said it again.

「I didn't mean it。」

And Niji stared up at me.

「You can be the No Life King if you want。」

Was that what she was going on about? Was that all? She was playing around when we were fighting? I may be in an actual dream world right now, but Niji needs some communication abilit— damn it look who's talking. I massaged my hand over my face. This is responsibility. I didn't want this. Anime Girl's hand rubbed my shoulder. That's reassuring. This is an isekai, after all. I'm still overpowered. I can make this work. I'm sure. There has to be a way. I looked up, resolve filled my eyes.

"I want to become the kind of person who can have fun."

Hohemi's smile aimed towards me, along with Stehy's glare. Hohemi kept quiet, she must have sensed that this situation was far more complex than she realized and activated her survival instincts. Stehy didn't keep quiet.

「What are you talking about? That has nothing to do with this。Niji has apologized。She's not like us。Niji is the only one who can't read your mind at all。She had no awareness of what she was doing, your fight was play to her。If you forgive her and accept the role of the No Life King, we can end this war。You said you wanted to rule Nephilz。This is the start。From what Hohemi told me, the death of the No Life King will lead to years of conflict, and it's likely many have already died。Isn't this against your morality? What could you possibly be waiting for?」

When I heard that Niji capitulated to Hohemi and Stehy interrogation, I had no choice. I did say I wanted to rule Nephilz. But, now that I have an outright offer to become a 'No Life King' I don't want the title at all.

After all, its rule over the Homunculi. And, I learned another disturbing fact after thinking recent events over. It's not just Niji, none of my clothes can read my mind. I just assumed they could because they said so. If they could, then they would know that I wasn't serious about taking over the city. I had to tell them. But, I couldn't think of a way to express it right then, and I realized now wasn't the time either. It's important, very important that I find out why Yarko and Stehy think they can read my mind, and where they are wrong, but not right now.

I feel like I'm going to put it off indefinitely. Damn it. Better do it now?

"I've got a concern first." I aired my thoughts on the subject of my clothes reading my mind.

「We can see them。」Yarko said. Her response was first, and curt.

Stehy's was more relaxed and thoughtful. She had a finger on her chin as she replied.

「Perhaps past the point of our creation we were disconnected from your mind, but the illusion of us knowing your thoughts persists. It's likely we have our own mind's thoughts getting in the way of seeing yours。」

"I like how reasonable that sounds. Good job." I said.

「However, that doesn't fix the main issue。」

Damn it, Stehy. How dare you focus on important things! I know the cities in chaos and I'm the one who's supposed to step up and bring it to order! I just don't want to spend time around Homunculi! Did you hear those screams! It's uncomfortable! Ruling over humans sounds like an even bigger pain, but with the Homunculi it's very clear how painful they are. It's like listening to an english dub of an anime. I can't stand english dubs, they remind me of cartoons, I am an adult, I watch anime now, this is what mature immature people do. It's a sign of the complexity of the modern age! An escape from the shackles of staring a family and working a blue collar job! How do you think I was raised? In the suburbs. I had no life, and now you expect me to be the No Life King?!

Wait, that almost made sense. I don't like where this is going.

"Um, Wizard," Hohemi said. "Stehy could do it. Stehy could be the No Life King in your place."

"No, no." I waved my hand out in response. I'm surprised Hohemi could tell I didn't want the responsibility. How'd she do that? Was it obvious to her? Was I too busy wrapped up in my own thoughts that any passing outsider could see my reluctance? Something I said. Oh. I did say I want to become the kind of person who can have fun. Don't need to be a genius to see that. I might have missed it, but that doesn't mean others missed it. Ah, it's awful being only one person and having to think about what others might think, I'm busy thinking about what I'm thinking. Such a pain. Everyone should just die. Okay, now, a plan. I have none.

"Stehy cannot be the No Life King. That's bad. I need a bulwark between me and Yarko and Niji."

Yarko's offended tone sailed in.「What did I do。」

Niji face lowered even more.

Oh, see, this is why people having feelings is bad. If I don't know what words are going to make them upset in advance, yet I still want to do whatever I want, I can hurt their feelings while expressing myself as clearly as possible. I have enough trouble communicating what I want, why is it that I have to consider how to frame the words as well?

Over the years I sensed as much. It's an autist thing, brain disconnect. I know. Blah blah. Still, despite all I read on the internet and all I learned, it's still so much easier to just say what I want to say. It's too painful, too much work, and it's too confusing trying to figure out what others think. No, it's impossible. I don't know how other people do it. They just seem to not bother about it and laugh with each other and have friends. It a world full of Ouji bastards and Hohemis! All of them should just go die.

My hands dug into the sides of my head. I felt Anime Girl pat the top of my head. Okay, okay. I already thought of the obvious solution a long time ago. I didn't say it out loud because I was busy thinking about what everyone else was thinking and dealing with Yarko's complaining. I got a little overwhelmed.

The obvious solution was always there: Outsourcing. Niji's play fight with me was about becoming the No Life King? Good. She can handle it. Right? No! Of course not! That's irresponsible! After learning my suspicions about her ability were true, then, yeah. No good. But. Still.

Anime Girl's hand swished the top of my head. I raised my head.

"Okay, okay. I have a plan. Niji's going to be the No Life King."

And Yarko, Stehy, and Hohemi had their own unique brands of disapproval shown on their face. Niji looked up, hopeful. That's good. It's too bad I know what I'm going to say next is likely going to wipe that smile off her face.

"And then, we're going to kill all the Homunculi in Nephilz."