The sunbeams trickled into from above as I reclined on Hohemi's bed. I sent Yarko and Niji off to go help the dwarves from the Homunculi. Although I'm not sure about their intelligence level or common sense, the combat ability is there. What's important is giving small bits of courage everyday in your daily actions— to speak and act your truth in every moment. A man, or Anime Girl, in this case, that does that will live a happy life.

And so my grand act of courage this morning was to let loose Yarko, self-proclaimed manifestation of chaos, and Niji, rumored to be the manifestation of evil, unto my newly declared enemy. It takes courage to let go.

At least, that is what I'm telling myself. I turned over in bed, digging my head further into Anime Girl's thighs. Her hand traced along my short silver hair. The sunbeams felt warm. There's a war going on out there.

Yarko and Niji did get to and take down the No Life King single handed. They didn't even consult me. So, the order of kill all homunculi was accepted. However, my declaration to make Niji the No Life King was rejected.

Hohemi went into a difficult explanation about how homunculi social structure works. Apparently, there are homunculi nobles, or something, 'homunculi lords' sounds better to my ear. Boss-ish. The intelligence and ability between homunculi differs so greatly, so some are able to resist the Mindsnare spell that allows other homunculi to gather groups of lower and stupider homunculi under them. Hohemi herself uses Mindsnare on lower homunculi who work in her sweatshop, but there are also a lot of them she said weren't powerful enough to become Homunculi Lord but intelligent enough to escape the sewers.

After Niji and Yarko entered the sewers, they destroyed a delicate social harmony that the No Life King had cultivated. Right now, it's all out civil war. It's a bunch of dumb monsters. So, they don't get along. And it doesn't sound like the Homunculi Lords are wise governors of their power.

Really, since homunculi sound so useless at working together unless someone throws a Mindsnare on them, I wrote them off halfway into her explanation. Anime Girl, Stehy, and surprisingly Niji were eager learners. Not so true for Yarko.

I rolled off the bed. Hitting the floor, I didn't feel pain, but I made a distressed noise anyways. Feels appropriate. What I said myself during that meeting in Yume Nasai bothered me. "I want to become the kind of person who can have fun."

The words sort of came out like usual, but it bothered me how accurate that statement sounded. I don't feel like I'm having fun.

Stehy went off with to work with Hohemi, presumably to gather evidence to sue for worker's right and a fair wage. I looked up on the bed, and the long silver haired girl smiled back.

Anime Girl. My better half, in many senses. Fun, huh? I wonder, what is 'fun'?

When I thought it over a line from an episode of Gegege no Kitaro came to mind. It was an episode about a Youtuber who was trying to make it big with lots of gimmicky jokes. The Youtuber met a popular entertainer who told him, "It's surprisingly difficult to put everything you have into having fun."

I rolled around the floor, slowly. Put everything you have into having fun, huh. Would the right choice have been to lead the charge myself? I don't feel comfortable around Yarko and Niji. After what happened, I'm worried. Would the right choice have been to charge into battle anyways?

As I rolled on the floor, I caught sight of Anime Girl. Anime. Yes.

A lot of effort goes into Anime. I've read about it before, but to even get a serialized manga, or get it made into an Anime, or have a decent production value behind it, is all difficult. And that's not even including everyone in the industry lives fairly slavish lives. I even read that for independent authors, doujinshin drawers who publish and sell their own work, that if they sell out all of their printed copies they will have broken even.

It's not about the money. Rather, it's about the effort, the pursuit, the love, and it's filled with despair. And yet, I've enjoyed Anime for years, thinking about it deeply and not-so-deeply from time to time. The creators of anime themselves suffer for their work. It must be rewarding, but, I can only imagine a painful life. Anime is way too deep. For me, at least.

As an autist who felt like the world was a murige, people were impossible, and I didn't understand anything no matter how much I learned, I wonder if I would have the courage to pursue a career like that? Nope. First of all, it's work. I don't want to work. Second, I can't draw. When it comes to creative efforts, I feel confident in my imagination and escaping into it, but that's about it.

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I turned my body facedown on the floor, sunbeams warming my back. Courage, huh. Courage. And will. I did wish for a Yuri Harem, to take over Nephilz, and, I feel like I haven't done much but get pushed around. It's been like that since I was reborn as an Anime Girl.

Usually. This is the usual, ok. In an isekai, you see a generic protagonist suffering life, then they get reborn or transferred or wake up in a ten year old girls body, and then from there on, everything is tough, but rewarding. The usual isekai I've read or watched anyways has someone who is given power, beauty, and then they use it to take on a challenge.

I pulled myself into a crouching position. Looking at Anime Girl, who tilted her head as I stared at her, I asked myself. What's my challenge, here? Understanding, yeah. That's, aways been there. But, after that meeting in Yume Nasai, when I made the bold proclamation to wipe out all homunculi, I felt like I could really stand behind that.

After all, those screeches the homunculi made... and that centipede one I burned to death...

I punched a spider once. I saw it, I was like, let's step up, and I punched it. I only did it once, the rest of the times I'd go get some toliet paper and snatch the spider and flush it down a toliet. If there is something I can get behind, it's definitely killing bugs.

The moral problems of homunculi lords existing bothered me. Some of them have minds. So, killing them all does mean killing some human-ish ones too. Hohemi even took me for a homunculi when she ambushed me. Is killing all of them the right choice? Nah.

But. Am I going to do anything about it? I definitely don't want to stop Yarko and Niji from protecting the dwarves. If there are decent homunculi lords out there who deserve to live but happen to be near them, I'll just write it off as their bad luck. I feel guilty, but I have great limitations here, mainly, I don't want to be around them right now.

The Clothing Council could be called a total failure in that regard. So, I might as well do something. I'm not about to go on a rampage by myself, but I think I'll at least spy on the homunculi lords and try to figure out if there are any ones worth not killing. Maybe I could even strike a deal with them. Oh, wait, can I even speak to them? I think Hohemi was able to, and Yarko can translate, but, since I can't talk or understand them at all, how can I find the ones who don't deserve to die?

I flopped down onto the floor again. Eh. I could just wait. If I wait, it will take care of itself. Stehy still doesn't believe she has magic, so she's no good in a fight. I'm sure I could kill something, or, at least Anime Girl could. But, Niji and Yarko might be able to finish my order off without me doing anything. "And then what?", became my question.

I stood up, looking at Anime Girl. I'm going. I'm going to go anyways. I have no idea what I'm going to do. But, I'm not going to stay here. If I didn't have Anime Girl to lead me back here I'd be out of luck, but since I do, I'll go out for the day.

Just because I started this war, indirectly, doesn't mean I have to participate. However, there is Anime. I don't think my courage can match the courage of the creators of anime, who earnestly seek what they love. I'm not sure I have anything I love that much to sacrifice for. But, I do know that I want to understand. I want to see what lies on the other side of challenge.

I left a note for Stehy. No scarf, no shoes, newly sewn up shirt and blazer, pantyhose gloves and skirt. I have clothes on. That is a start. Now—

[Isshouni ikkou. Yume Nasai.] (Let's go together. Yume Nasai.)

Anime Girl grabbed my hand. She was looking at me strange. I couldn't tell what was different, but I knew something was off.

I lied back on the bed. If Anime Girl has something to say, I'll listen. If there is anything I could say I care about, it's anime, and anime girls, and, Anime Girl.

I shut my eyes, and woke up in a dueling ring. Anime Girl's conservative dress was replaced by a kendo outfit, her long silver hair tied up in a ponytail. I appreciate the high ponytail, this is important. Looking down at my body, I saw I too was in a kendo outfit. The armor is stifling.

I heard a thwack and felt my head crick to the side. Anime Girl whacked me when I was dreaming. We're in a dream world, and I'm still dreaming. Oh well. I grabbed a wooden sword from a nearby rack. Anime Girl was already in a stance. I guess since we cannot communicate through language, she aims to communicate through her sword, is that right?

I'll play along. It is a wooden sword, after all. At the least, it's something to focus on. I only played sports as a kid, and not for long, so, now that I have this agile body might as well put it to use. I ran my fingers across the center of my chest. It's not like I see myself dying anytime soon. A challenge, huh? What is my "kendo?" I don't know. It could be understanding. It could be that even as an Anime Girl, I'll be doomed to spend the rest of my life wondering whats happening, falling from one poorly thought out lazy choice to the next— or I can choose my challenge.

I readied my sword in front of Anime Girl, imitating her stance. I don't know the first thing about kendo, but that doesn't matter. I don't have the courage to face Anime Girl. I don't know if I have to the courage to say what I truly care about, or if I even want to commit to anything at all— but, right here, with Anime Girl I might as well play.

[Jin ja ni, shobu!]