I got trucked. Nah, I wish I did. I wish I died to the standard cliche. It's an isekai story, right, the truck is standard, right? To the point where the cliche is something I really wanted to happen, but no, sadly, I died while driving.

Most people with asperger's syndrome, or autism disorder as I heard they call it nowadays? They updated the DSM five or whatever- anyways, I digress a lot and I digress from my digression. Anyways. So, this is how I lived before I died and became reborn as a bishoujo wizard in a fantasy world. Yeah. I didn't feel comfortable about it at first either, but hey, I adapted.

Most people with asperger's syndrome are fat. Statistically true. Now, I learned people don't like fat people after years of study. I grew up feeling bad about feeling fat, thinking I had to look like people on tv looked. Girls were a strange organism I stared at in high school like forbidden entities from the lovecraftian mythos. Their ways, and the ways of those around me were arcane mysteries, so even though I wanted badly to have sex, I avoided girls like the plague. I told myself, hey, fat people don't have sex, so I can't have sex. I thought that was just how the world worked.

My friends didn't want to hang out with me because I was too weird. I'd eat off the cafeteria floor. I didn't understand anything. It was pure suffering and misunderstandings, and I didn't even know how bad it really was until later in life. I never washed my gym shorts even once and always changed in the toilet. I wore the same red windbreaker every day for two years in high school.

Most people don't know how bad my understanding of the world really was, and neither did I. It was one stupidity and ignorance to the next, failing and flailing with living. I ate. A lot.

Then eventually after quitting my job as a movie theater usher 'to become a writer,' thinking I was going to write harry potter and move out of mom's basement, I dropped out of college. I never really had a plan for how to live in the world anyways. Everything was nebulous and scary. I thought I was weak, stupid, and a coward. And fat too. I fell into a deep depression.

That's when I started posting on 4chan's anime and manga board all day. I got deep into anime. I had fantasies about being a pretty girl with a katana and magical powers, going to new york and killing lots of mobsters. Making lots of money. The descent into sexual depravity also began, and with my already tortured self-esteem, it became a daily way to make myself miserable about living. The thoughts plagued me.

Now, this is usually where the death comes, right? Nope, not yet. Dad got involved in my life, took me to therapy. I got told I had Asperger's Syndrome in my twenties.

I spent years struggling with reconstructing my basic understanding of the world and asked and answered my own questions with the internet. It was like running through a mist. Through it all, anime was what gave me the next piece of the puzzle.

I became entirely obsessed with figuring out how women worked. I was too scared to approach them, but this lead to a hobby of endless gaming while listening to a black comedian and former sex worker talking about women. I listened to everything I could, and eventually took up the hobby of walking. I had imagined conversations with the podcasters trying to puzzle out how people worked.

Friends? Girls? No. None. Philosophizing, professorizing, and psychologizing with therapy, walking, eating, podcasts and games. Yes. Those became my life. Oh, and 4chan made me feel awful after awhile so I quit. They were too negative about anime and anime was my singular point of joy, so I felt like they were talking down on my hobby. They used to be my people. They are no longer my people.

I was 380 pounds, got pre-diabeetus, then diabeetus, then figured out a way out of that. Changed my diet, enough of the time at least, and walking daily for hours pretty much worked well enough. I still hated myself, but I learned so much. I took up journaling. I got a job specifically for people with disabilities. I was in the queue for disability. I had hopes of moving out of mom's house.

Maybe girls someday? Maybe friends? Maybe money? My head went from money—>sex—>friends. Through it all, anime allowed me to grow and understand others. It may be simple and banal to others, but to me, it was complex and mysterious. And the girls were cute. This is important. This gave me the will to live and grow.

Never had sex, and so I became a wizard, passing the age of 25 and 30 with ease. I attained secrets hidden to mortals.

Then, of course, my death. Well, yeah. I did change my diet, but I still binge ate a lot. I went too far one time.

Was in way too much pain. Scared of the ambulance bill, I got in my car I got from my usher job during high school. Driving myself to the hospital in terrible pain, my tongue swelled to an enormous size. I thought it would be really funny if I died like this, so I started laughing, and then I hit a truck. See? Trucked.

I was trucked all along! Nah. Actually I just remember not being able to breath. That was my last memory of life on earth. I regretted one thing. I never got to see the end of One Piece.

It's not that I really wanted to know what was on Raftel. I wanted to see One Piece end. I joked with myself for years about dying before seeing the end of One Piece. I wanted to be there for the whole journey. I didn't even like One Piece that much anymore, or manga either. Anime was all I had.

In death, anime became re— yeah no. I wish that's what happened. But instead, I woke up in an egg.

My first memories are hazy, but I remember this dream where I was this anime girl running around in an isekai. Running around killing monsters with magic and a sword. Making money at the Adventurer's Guild. Imagining my awkward attempts at people socializing with me because of my great power, and me finding any excuse to avoid a social situation, meanwhile dreaming what connecting with people would really be like.

Yeah, even in my dream I couldn't see myself getting along with anyone. Just because I became an anime girl didn't mean I wanted attention, then I'd have to talk to people. The idea drained my battery, and I despaired. Socialization? Friends? Girls? Hopeless. Even when I played MMORPGs online it would be a pain to act like I cared about what anyone said! And I never got what the hell they were talking about anyways, it was like broken fragments half the time!

Eh. A chat box is just a place where people pretend they care about each other. That was how I thought of it, but from time to time I'd have fun with people online. I had some fun playing with others. A little. I'll admit it. I never went far with 'friendships' though. They would always fall apart because I would get tired of chatting within a minute. Naturally I didn't keep up with relationships either because I genuinely didn't want to talk to people so... even in my dream in an egg in another world, I thought socializing was hopeless.

The egg cracked. I could see through the shells. Lots of creatures, strange ones, twisted ones, I swear I saw something straight out lovecraftian mythos out of the corner of my eye. My body's senses came online. I looked at my hands.

Slim fingers, white skin, slender. I was always huge and hairy, so I felt uncomfortable. My hand searched my face and body. It was gone. My precious was lost. Despite dreaming of being an anime girl, I didn't want to lose it. Alas, it is but a memory now.

The breasts felt wrong too. The size was nice, but I began to think being a girl wasn't the greatest idea after all. On another girl, yes, good, on me, not happy about this now.

As I fully came to, I started choking.

I thrust my hand like a spear and cut through the top of the egg. Struggling out desperately against the egg, it fell away and spilled me onto the ground. Cold stone. Tiny slim body. Pushing against the ground, I tried to move my muscles, but they gave way and slipped. I panted on the ground, gasping to collect air in my lungs as I coughed.

My body gained strength as I laid there. I pulled myself up against a nearby rock, surveying my situation. My sight felt different. There were blue strands sparkling in the air. I was already thinking, "isekai, isekai"

I laid, recovering from my egg birth, thinking of how stupid this was. I swear this better not be an isekai like I read in those novels online. I never had dreams this vivid. This felt absolutely real. I accepted it, thinking I might as well go with this. Since I'm, well, not myself anymore. I brushed goo off myself off. The girl body was putting me off, so I stuck it out of mind.

I stood up, taking stock of the room. Eggs, eggs, more eggs. Some were giant, some were small. I felt cold and cramped my small body up. I wanted a coat. First objective: stop being cold.

I wandered across the sea of eggs. A massive cavern spread out before me, a low light emenating from crystals above. I tested my muscles as I walked, trying to get a sense of balance and heft to my muscles. I didn't know another body would feel so different. It felt like I was going to fall over if I didn't pay attention. I kept walking, eyes scanning, hoping none of the creatures in the eggs would come out and attack. I'd be dead. Again.

You might be reading a pirated copy. Look for the official release to support the author.

In a corner along a wall, I saw a wooden pedestal, and tome sitting upon it. Getting closer, I heard an egg crack. I ran for the tome and tripped. Wasn't ready to move like that yet, damn. I crawled towards the tome, knocked the pedestal over, and snatched the tome.

I kept crawling. When no more sound came, I levered myself up and kept walking, clutching the tome to my body. I want out of here. The walking didn't get much easier, my body was tiring fast. My breathing grew tense. But, I didn't feel as sensitive anymore. I don't know why, but in my old life it felt awful to move around. There was pain, yeah, and I was exerting my body, yeah, but it didn't bother me. It was like it wasn't a big deal to get hurt or something. I gradually tried walking faster, keeping an eye on the eggs, trying to ignore the breasts bouncing on my chest.

After wandering through the halls getting startled by eggs cracking, I came upon a light in the distance. Yay. Do I get a harem yet? The cold wasn't bothering me as much anymore. Maybe the walking? I stopped among the eggs, staring at the light in the distance. Flexing my slim legs and hands, I felt my balance adjusting. It felt like something clicked.

This felt more like 'my body' rather than a 'body I was in.' I didn't notice the change, but I felt sure I could run. I rarely ran in my old life, the feeling of my heart pumping was really uncomfortable. The idea unnerved me. I started out at a trot. It was a little more than fast walking, but I quickly sped up. The body's strength was beyond my expectations, and my senses urged me to go faster.

I broke into a full out run, breathing heavily. It didn't bother me at all. The strange experience of moving fast and feeling ground disappear from under me elated me. I knew people could run and move fast, but to me, that always felt wrong to do. This was nice. What was I ever afraid of? Oh yeah, my body wasn't in shape.

This one felt like it could take a hit or two, despite being small. I began to think poorly of my old body, except for the fallen one. May it rest in peace. I rushed on faster as the sound of an egg cracking got me spooked.

Breaking out into the light, I skidded to a stop. I saw the cliff edge while moving, thought for sure I was going to fall off, yet my reflexes acted before I did. Strange. I don't remember being that good at reflexes. I did always stay off the highway and stick to my lane while driving. I felt the wind blow on my naked body ruffling my hair. Running a hand through my hair to take a look, it looked silver. Dark silver. I thought of Sephiroth from Final Fantasy VII for some reason. Is it possible I'm prettier? Do I want to be? I sighed into the horizon. The warmth of the sun spread over me and a large forest below.

Ah, the cold is gone. Objective achieved. Either it was the running or the sun. I clenched the tome I snagged from the cave tightly in one hand. I checked the cliff. There was no way down. Looking above, there was only more cliffside. Up to above, or down to the forest?

The idea of rock climbing was foreign to me as well. I'd read about it, but since I was always fat and hated exercise it was just 'something other people did.' I glanced back at the egg cave. Looked down at the tome. Then approached the rockface. I ran my hand over the rocks, feeling the touch through new fingers. These ones were slim and strong, so I tested them against the rock. Pushing up with my feet, I realized this might be possible.

This body could do it. I looked back at the egg cave again, then sat down, and crossed my legs for the first time as well. I looked down at the neatly folded slim legs, blocking the breasts I saw out of my imagination. I opened the tome. I'll check this out first.

It was scribbles and icons spread out across the page. At first I flipped through the tome losing hope, then my mind began to register something. I didn't know what it was, but my eyes started following the lines. I saw patterns in the shapes. My attention widened as I kept flipping back and forth through the pages. I had no idea what I was getting or if I was understanding anything at all, but then words came out of my mouth.

"Cthulu, in his house at O'RLY"

My voice was, surprise, feminine. That bothered me, but it did sound soothing. I guess it's good to have a voice you like hearing? The words felt strange to say. It was like I couldn't control my mouth. I kept reading anyways, sure that per standard isekai troupes, this should be a cheat item. Right? I mean, yeah they are stories, but this is my isekai, and I have a poor opinion of anything that happens to me. I bet this is cursed. Either way, I read on with curiosity.

"Fhtagn. El fhtangh. El cim so. Velvet harpoon. Non-filtering exposure."

The nonsense kept spilling out of my mouth. I began to realize it was all old words from my past memory. Maybe my mind was comparing this language to these symbols? I didn't understand. I never understood my life on Earth well. Why would that change here?

Then, something sensible began to form out of my garbled speech.

"Souls of errant worlds are great mana sources. If you want to build a strong army to torment the commoners, this spell explains a method to gather souls from the errant worlds who are lost, draw them from the ether and channel them into magic eggs. The souls themselves will vary in strength, so create a great number of them to make sure you get strong warriors. Their loyalty will be wild at birth, so make sure to time the hatchings and be present to put a Mindsnare on them. If you have not mastered Mindsnare, do not breed magic eggs. Unless you plan on just leaving them for purposes of mayhem, then I applaud your efforts."

Oh. So it's a breeding ground for some warlock. I'm a wizard. Maybe we can be friends?

"Conquering this world has long been a desire of our kind. Mages are exiled and forsworn as enemies of the commoners, but they know nothing of our power and the glory of the world we wish to bring into being. This book is intended to pass on my wisdom to any aspiring Mage, as I fear my magics are not enough to reach the Ultimate Form. In the past, many great Mages reached the Ultimate and slew many of the commoners, a great tribute to our kind, before they were slain. I wish you luck in your journey to the Ultimate."

Mages don't sound like they are the good guys around here. I can empathize with the world conquering thing. Childhood dream. Thank you, Pinky and the Brain. Ah, I'll never watch a tv show again, will I? No anime? No, no, keep your mind off of it. Book now. Magic good, magic cheat power sounding. This good. Way to yuri harem. Must pursue.

"This is a particularly favorite spell of mine I created. I hope you'll master it and pass it on in your own Grimoire before you enter the Ultimate. I call it, 'Tentacle Beam.' I have a fondness for these strange, magnificent creatures that are sometimes born from my magic eggs, they invoke a lovely depleting sanity in the masses. They tend to have tentacles akin to squid fished from the sea. What wonders come from the minds of the errant worlders! One of the greatest joys I have in tending my magic eggs is seeing what depravities they will be reborn as in this world."

I got a decent sense of how to cast 'Tentacle Beam,' it seemed like one of the easier ones and I've always been lazy. Seems like magic relies on a strong image, and I've always been confident in my imagination. After that it was a matter of allotting mana to the spell internally and setting a 'trigger' for the spell to go off.

The 'trigger' could be anything it seemed. There was mention of chanting and shouting attacks, but I've always thought that would be dangerous in a fight. I like when anime does it. That's anime though.

I wanted a summon clothing spell, but this is good too. Flipping around, I saw a "How to Summon a Nyarlathotep" chapter. Gotta try that. Reminds me of the anime 'Haiyore! Nyaruko-san'. Only after learning this 'Mindsnare' book this spell talks about, I'm sure it won't end well if I can't use it as a pet. You know, maybe this isekai thing isn't going to be so bad.

"ROAAAAAAARRRRRGH"

Oh god oh god oh god, that roar shook me to trembling in an instant. And with that, the cheat book dropped right off the cliff, bouncing down into the forest below. My hand shot after it, screaming "Nyaruko!" I looked back in fear to see something charging in the depths, the ground shook below me. I glanced to the forest below. I smirked. Staring down the charging form in the darkness, I readied my body.

I have absolutely zero confidence. At rock climbing. But, I didn't reach the age of 30 without a single romantic relationship for nothing! I'll unleash it here, in this world, the secrets I gained from preserving my virginity!

I did the final flash pose Vegeta from DBZ used. There's no one in this world to be embarrassed at me(except myself)so lets go out with a bang!

The charging beast had shimmers of light hit it, brown hair, big, about to knock me of if I don't fire. Okay, calm down, think Vegeta things. Allot the mana, first. Wait, where's my mana? Okay, got it, I think. Feels like an energy pulsing from within. This body can sense it just like bloodflow. Got the image. Now, trigger, ah screw it I'll go with the usual.

"Tentacle Beeeeeaaaaaammm!"

A portal opened up in front of my hands. A tentacle shot out spearing the charging beast. Looking like a massive anteater or something, weird. Then, as I was about to celebrate, more tentacles grew from the tentacle I shot. They bashed into the rock face, knocking chunks of rock flying to the forest below. The cave collapsed, and my feet faltered. I looked down to see the rock below me crack, but not before a stray tentacle whacked me into the distance.

I'm flying. It's like a Ghibli movie. Ha Ha. I looked longingly towards the bottom of the cliff where the cheat book lay. I coulda been a cheater. I coulda had an isekai adventure. Nyarko. Maybe. But now...

I guess I've always been cursed. Everyone has their own problems. Autism, autist, magic egg, girls, socialization problems, not having enough food to eat, and dying from a fall after casting Tentacle Beam. I died stupidly once, I don't see why I deserve a better death a second time. I rocketed towards a river, heading straight for a large rock. Dead dead dead.

Then, I hit. It felt like a squish. Then to my surprise, I bounced. My body flapped around in the air, and I landed with splayed legs, bouncing another time. It reminded me of a scene for an anime, yet, it looked totally different from the first person. My hands searched my body. No blood. Didn't hurt.

Oh god. The magic egg. The book did say:

"What wonders come from the minds of the errant worlders! One of the greatest joys I have in tending my magic eggs is seeing what depravities they will be reborn as in this world."

I guess it's possible. An anime girl could fall from any height and shake it off with no problem. My image of depravity? Anime Girl.

I wonder what the title of this would be if it were a light novel. I Was An Autist Wizard And Now In Another World I Am An Anime Girl?! Gah. I hate it. Those too long titles that are so greedy for attention they want to snap your brain in half with words felt so needy. Too thirsty for a writer. Yeah, those are people actually making money in an industry so maybe I should respect them more, however, I can't like it. If I had to name this, I'd just call it like it is, an 'autist isekai.'