Anime Girl's strikes hit my kendo armor head on. I don't want to say she's fast, but, she's fast. It's an unfortunate reality that I'm in a battle situation where I need to comment on my opponent's speed.
Since we're in Anime Girl's spell, [Yume Nasai], I expected her to have an advantage. It's kendo, but she's not using her physical body so— wait, I am her physical body! The realization allowed me to speed up.
I cut across empty space to distance Anime Girl from me. Some breathing room. If I could breath in a dream. Sending a flurry of blows down onto her armor, she deflected them, her dull silver eyes keeping a careful watch on my movements. Even though she doesn't have pupils, I know where her guard is headed.
My reading of her guards improved with careful attention to looking at her body's movements. She's leaning on her left leg when I push her back. Pushing her back, I struck from the right, coming in from a high position. As I did, I shifted forward. We locked shinai. My body pushed up against hers, levering against her from her right. Anime Girl's balance on her left leg tipped as I pushed and crouched a little, sliding forward on the tatami. Anime Girl fell on her butt, her shinai bouncing out of her grip.
[Itai.]
"Down!"
An underdressed referee, some short haired blond girl in gym shorts, shouted at the both of us. I stood over Anime Girl in full kendo girl gripping my shinai, feeling triumph. I beat her. I feel proud of myself. It took such great effort to get this far...! The pursuit alone was worth it, I wouldn't trade it for anything, but, I love winning too, who cares if she's way younger than me? Even if she was an elementary schooler— okay if I beat an elementary schooler then I would regret it. She looks my age. That's enough for my pride. I guess.
Now, kendo doesn't have downs. I don't know how kendo works, somehow the short blond haired girl knows. She tried to explain the rules to me. I told her I'd rather just whack each other with shinai for now. Do I want to be good at kendo? Nah. Swinging a sword, I can get behind that. Katanas are cool. I cannot deny it. I'd never buy a real one on Earth because I don't see the use of having a sword if I'm not using it, but here on Errera there are a lot of living things to cut.
And, the combat metagame is viable because I have magic. Even though the dwarves have guns and the moon elves have their moon city, I can still swing around a sword and compete. My existence here allows me the luxury of using a sword in combat. If I want to, that is. And I want to.
The frustration I felt when Negi attacked was still fresh. It's been awhile since then, and he even attacked me a second time, icicled my loli, but still. I want to win against him in fair fight— is what I would normally think someone would say. For me, I just want to win.
I offered a hand to Anime Girl. She took it, and I raised her back to her feet. Smiling she knocked my on my kendo mask with a fist. Playfully. Playfully, but, I fell down. Seems that she's a sore loser. She takes after me. Anime Girl retrieved her shinai and laid into me as I laid on the tatami, each strike seemed to have greater force than the last.
"Itai, itai."
It hurt, even through my armor. Her angry face is cute, she's cute, but, this hurts. However, my 100% MANLY SOUL prevents me from stopping her assault. It isn't just that she's important to me, and the only one I feel I can trust, even if it's a little, it's also that I feel guilty. I went all out on her when she hasn't practiced with a sword.
The best I did was practicing with a stick under Heaven(Pillow Rat Tree). I thought I got fairly good, fighting imaginary opponents. I though I was cool. Kirei's Tome is still there. Hohemi did say it would sell for good money. But, I have Ouji, so it's not necessary.
Oh. That's right. I'm his bodyguard, aren't I? Well. Hopefully he didn't go out and play hero— no, wait, that feels like exactly what he would do. He's the "we all help each other in times of need" sappy type. Should I ignore the thought? He could be knee deep in homunculi right now, fighting valiantly for the dwarves, covered in wounds and blood, about to go down.
My ethics hurt. Also, my armor cracked. I don't think I can die, but this is going to get more unpleasant than I would like, even if it's Anime Girl I might have to engage in corrective measures—
"Hey, hey." The blond girl ref said.
She came over, I admired her legs as she pulled Anime Girl back. The strikes stopped, so I took a good half minute to feel like I was alive again, pulled myself into a sitting position, sighed, then rose. That hurt more than I thought it would. Having my heart ripped out hurt less, physically, at least, mentally that was painful in many ways.
I walked over to Anime Girl's fallen shinai, bending over I picked it up, then walked over to her where the ref was still restraining her. Offering Anime Girl the handle first, her hand faltered as she stopped thrashing in the ref's grip, then snatched it from me.
The ref backed off. Anime Girl took a proper kendo stance this time. Her eyes conveyed little emotion, but I could tell she was serious now. There's a fierceness to them I've never seen before. She's always smiling and saying so little, the contrast is getting to me.
I don't know why Anime Girl felt like doing this now. If the point was communication, the communication isn't there. This is why we have languages. My japanese is nonexistent, I liked listening to anime even more because I couldn't understand what they were saying. I could, I guess, use Yarko. Eh. I wish I had a more reliable translator than Yarko. The alternative is to trust Yarko, and I don't feel like I can. An invocation of the concept of chaos as a translator? Sounds like MTL. I read english, not garbled words. The quality of a web novel may not be high, but what's really important is that your heart is put into enjoying it. If the desire to see and enjoy what's there is present, then the words can be anything, lolis or no lolis, anime or no anime. Perhaps the true goal of all art is to educe this enjoyment from the reader?
I pondered that as Anime Girl got some points on me. I'm letting her win. I'm letting her. I took a kendo stance too, but it seems like Anime Girl actually knows kendo, and I don't, so, she's winning in a landslide.
"Men!"
"Kote!"
"Chesto!'
I thought the kendo practitioner was the one who would yell when they attack, but the ref is calling out the attacks for Anime Girl. I saw Bamboo Blade, so, my entire knowledge of kendo is from that anime. This fight is fixed. When, and how, did Anime Girl acquire a kendo trainer? [Yume Nasai] is more high tier than I thought.
After a few more rounds, I got the hang of some of it. The footwork is tough, so I gave up on that and focused on striking with my upper body and countering Anime Girl's attacks. She's faster than I am, but since I can see the flaws in her attack patterns, it's easy to interrupt them. If I had my old body, I wouldn't stand a chance. Not that I'm using my Anime Girl body right now, anyways. Her movements became clear enough as I adjust, and soon I was able to strike her a few times.
She's still on a different level. I'm still a novice. But, I could compete. I think that's important. The thrill of trying to win against an opponent I can't win against, that bubbled up in me. If I get stronger, will Anime Girl get stronger? She already cast a spell as grand as [Yume Nasai], a mansion in my mind, so I wouldn't be surprised if she was much better at magic than me.
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Maybe next time I need a spell I'll just ask Anime Girl to cast it. My magic casting is awful, I wonder why it didn't occur to me even once just to leave everything to her? I already relied on her when casting that clothing spell. Brain fart. I'll call it a brain fart.
Anime Girl stepped to the right of me, sliding in and slicing down, she knocked my head covering off. With that, I thought she'd stop, but her attacks aimed straight at my head. I defended as best I could, but I fell back. Anime Girl surged forward, ducking and shoving into me. I fell on my butt, then felt a tap on my head.
"Men!" The ref called.
Anime Girl used the same trick I used. However, she did it when we were in the middle of a kendo match. That's got to be against the rules. Even if I don't know the rules, I doubt the japanese would allow a match to continue if someone lost their headgear. Anime Girl's face turned smug as she bounced her shinai off the top of my head.
She retreated, leaving me to pick myself up and my shinai as well. Where is the chivary? Even if I have a 100% MANLY SOUL, we're both girls here. No, even if I was still a human male instead of an Anime Girl, I would expect the opponent to offer a hand. Isn't that the spirit of competition? Of sport? Does Anime Girl not respect that sort of thing?
I readied my shinai. Who could teach her that sort of thinking? I can't hold much of a conversation with her, and, I'm not the type. More importantly, I don't want to. I looked at the ref. Translator. The ref. Maybe the ref can?
"Were you her kendo trainer?" I said.
The ref nodded right to left, then lapsed into a yawn. She looks tired. No, she's actually been half asleep this whole time. Where did Anime Girl recruit her from? She has plenty of maids, why a lazy looking blonde haired girl in gym shorts?
Anyways, since Anime Girl can understand me just fine, I'll try telling her.
"Sportsmanship."
A one word sermon. Out loud, I don't want to talk too much or tell anyone how to live, really if I have a conversation I feel like I've made a thousand misatkse. Even if it is Anime Girl, I don't want to pressure her to live up to my standards. After all, it's not like I do, or did, either.
Anime Girl laughed. Then, the air thickened. What is this? Is this, bloodlust? Saki? Is it saki? Killing intent? Is this the legendary killing intent?
"[Busou!]"
What— Anime Girl talked out loud? On her own? This is Yume Nasai, I've heard her talk using my voice before. Never on her own. I got a bad feeling. Then, a pink aura spread out from Anime Girl, enveloping her.
The kendo armor stripped off as Anime Girl twirled in the air. Her clothes glowed and flaked off, it looked like some shining light was covering parts of her body and solidifying. We're still doing kendo, right? Oh, uh oh, why did a gun appear there? She has a gun? She's growing up fast. I'm proud, and terrified.
My view of Anime Girl's naked body became blocked as the ref wandered between us.
"Chōrō o sonkei shi, rakugo wa watashi ni ōku o oshiete kuremashita. Watashi wa kinben'na renshū o tōshite nomi mananda. Shuhari o oshiete moratte inakatta no? Mazu, renshū. Anata no tsuyo-sa wa jūbunde wa arimasen. Anata wa mada wakai."
Or something like that. I didn't catch a word, but something triggered. Even though I was looking at the ref normally, along the bottom my view, I saw them. Subtitles. English subtitles.
"Respect your elders, rakugo has taught me much. I only learned through diligent practice. Were you not listening when I taught you shuhari? First, practice. Your strength is not enough. You are still young."
It was exactly like that time I saw a Dark Soul HP bar when fighting Niji. How strange. What's more, she said it in normal japanese. It wasn't voice acted japanese like I'm used to, it reminded me of the japanese I've heard on Youtube. From real people. Anime Girl descended from her pink bubble, pulling on some clothes that appeared out of nowhere. I thought I saw a flash of black deliver them. A ninja maid?
The ref came over, lazily sidling up to me, looking me in the eye, then away. She talked past me, like looking me in the eye while having a conversation was too much effort.
"She got a little hot headed is all. Anime Girl doesn't like holding back in a fight, has little respect for rules. If you ever need help calming her down, give my friend a call."
"Not you?"
"I'm filling in for her."
"Who? The kendo trainer?"
"Well. You'll see. Here, here's her card."
The ref handed me a brown and yellow card. It had a fax number on it. I didn't know the name.
"Nana Daiba? Like, Banana?"
What kind of person is this? Japanese? One of the residents of [Yume Nasai]?
"I don't have a fax." I complained.
"It's okay. The card will summon her, even outside of Yume Nasai. Be careful though, she's powerful... in unexpected ways. It might be your greatest trial if you summon her at the wrong time."
"What's Nana gonna do?"
"She's really good at taking care of people. You might become a lazy person."
"I'm already lazy."
The ref looked me in the eye, a slight smile creeping across her lips.
"I see. Anyways. It's too dangerous for you to come to us yet, but I'll let you in on a secret. The 2D dimension is accessible to you. Your power is great. But, it's the second dimension, I'm sure you know what kind of competition you'll have there."
"What do you mean? 2D? Like, Anime World, or whatever?"
"Well. All of 2D."
Ah, dammit. Probably ponies and he-man there too then. I don't want to go. But! There is also anime! A real 2D dimension!
I'm scared. Not only because it sounds like it'd be awesome, but there's a lot of people way stronger than me there for sure. The ref is right. I'm much better off slumming it on Errera. But, definitely, I want to go!
The ref's lazy glare didn't match her words.
"There's other dangers, for you specifically, as well. I was told to give you a message. Anime Girl and you are the same entity. It's your own division against yourself that created her existence when you were born. As the Anime Girl Magus of Errera, you have great power. We're watching over you, for now, but if you or Anime Girl violate the rules, well, we won't be friends anymore."
She yawned halfway through saying it. It wasn't intimidating at all. 'Anime Girl Magus.' I read about those. Anime Girl remembers them from Kirei's Tome. Urgh, I don't want to talk to him. Before that, something else she said bothered me more.
"Rules?" I had to ask. No, it was like she was asking for me to ask.
"From what I understand about your situation, you lack certain, standards. If you want to be friends with the lighter side of the 2D, then you need to keep up your standards. I'm sure you have some sense of what standards are, for your standard Anime Girl, right?"
The ref seems the lazy type, but she's dressed attractively. Her hair is well kept, if anyone were to peek at her, they could only call her attractive. She may not be lovable to everyone, but her 'character design' is clear cut. There is a unification here, a sense of her way of speech and actions matching her appearance.
Wait, do I do that? I don't think I do. Is this the 'Rules' for Anime Girls? Perhaps this is a new chapter in Anime Girl Physics I will need to explore.
"Is there a guide or something I can borrow?" I asked.
"It's up to personal choice. It's not like the 2D dimension is governed by a committee. Anime Girl was able to make friends with a few of us, we're hoping you'll be able to do the same. Anime Girl is frustrated with her progress, and she's been blaming you from time to time. Nana said, at least. Keep that card at your side, you might need it."
I pinched the card between my fingers. Looking at Anime Girl pouting in the background, I could only think that I'm not trying hard enough. It's not like I wanted to try hard in the first place. I wanted to be even lazier, that was the promise of the clothing summons! However, I suppose nakama are more trouble than help in the first place. Socializing is more complex than I originally thought...
Far more complex. My eyes narrowed. I see. I need a katana. And, justice. Looks like I'll have to find Ouji, too. I'll think I'll need his help, if I'm ever going to get to the second dimension. I'll need more than control over magic. Do I have to see Kirei, too? After all, I barely understand what a Magus is in the first place. Damn it. This feels overwhelming.
I felt a finger tap my forehead. The ref smiled at me. She must have seen me lost in thought.
"If you ever feel like it's too much work, there's always rest. The second dimension isn't going anywhere anytime soon."
"That's not what I'm worried about. I'm worried I'm the one who's not going anywhere anytime soon!"
The ref walked over to Anime Girl, and from nowhere, smacked her on her head with a paper fan.
"What most necessary for an Anime Girl, beyond anything else, is enthusiasm. It doesn't have to be a happy enthusiasm, but if you're not willing to sacrifice yourself to the pursuit of the goal, then there is nothing you can attain. And, I won't like you. I may look like this, but I'm secretly working hard as well."
I really doubted she's working hard. Maybe that's part of her appeal though. I guess some spirit is order. The will to compete, despite believing your challenge is impossible. I'm missing that. I doubt I'll be able to work hard. Life is a murige after all. I suppose that's true for Anime Girls in the second dimension as well. But, they continue on their path, unable to escape their characterization, bound to whatever rules created them. So, even me, even I, will continue swinging my sword.