Indenuel noticed there was something off about Tolomon as the day continued, but he couldn’t quite place it. He didn’t seem as into the conversations Nathaniel and Rosa were having, and he looked visibly worried. Indenuel hated the anticipation, but there was little he could do about this. Inessa was inside the house with Adosina.
“Indenuel, how is your healing,” Nathaniel asked.
He winced. “Not good. Tolomon checked it the other day. I can push a lot of raw energy into a person, but it doesn’t cause any healing. I’ve been meditating a lot the past couple days to get it stronger, but it’s slow coming.”
“You could filter it if needed, Nathaniel, to give your healing a boost,” Tolomon said, looking at nothing in particular. “If we’re in a desperate enough situation. I’ve seen you do it before.”
Nathaniel nodded, watching Tolomon before turning to see the lengthening shadows. “Tolomon?”
He said nothing for a moment, staring at the gardens. “I can’t.”
They must have been thinking about the same thing, because Indenuel had no idea what they were talking about.
“Gossip needs to get fiercer,” Nathaniel said.
Tolomon sighed, running a hand through his hair. “I wouldn’t do this unless it was absolutely-”
“Tolomon,” Nathaniel said. “I am happy for you and Rosa. Truly.”
“It’s only this one time,” Tolomon said.
Nathaniel smiled like he was humoring one of his young children. “Right.”
That was all he said. Nathaniel leaned over and kissed Rosa softly before standing up and heading into the house.
Rosa glanced at Tolomon, who watched the grounds carefully before turning to Indenuel. “The three of us will go on a walk through the gardens. On my word you will walk ahead and hide. Don’t move until I come to meet you.”
Indenuel frowned, realizing what this meant. Was he going to kiss her? Was Indenuel just going to watch? “Tolomon, don’t you want to do this privately? Without me?”
Tolomon glanced at Rosa, his gaze lingering on her before facing Indenuel again. “Rosa and I cannot be seen alone until a specific time with Millie just so Millie’s the one to spread the gossip.”
Indenuel raised an eyebrow but nodded. They stood up, heading for the gardens. Indenuel walked, trying not to watch them, but he couldn’t help it. Tolomon clearly looked nervous, and Rosa simply folded her arms, following next to him at a respectable distance.
They took a shorter walk through the gardens to a section that seemed isolated but could still be seen from the back of the house.
“Millie should be making her rounds. Getting the back furniture ready. Indenuel, duck behind those bushes over there.” He did so, trying to keep his back to them to give them some sort of privacy. It would be awkward if Tolomon had been there at his first kiss with…
Wait, Tolomon was there during his first kiss with Inessa. Indenuel smiled, then folded his arms, giving them the same sense of privacy Tolomon had given him.
“Follow my lead,” Tolomon said, approaching her. “Let me kiss you first. This way, if things go wrong, I can still claim it was all on me and I can take on the punishment if Nathaniel cannot save us.”
Rosa smiled. “You know, it’s your determination to protect the ones you care about that led me to love you in the first place.” She approached him, touching his elbows. “Look less nervous. It will be more believable.”
“I can’t,” Tolomon said, not moving. “This entire thing, this mission, you in danger, I haven’t been able to calm my mind. A Graduate is not supposed to have this kind of…”
“Love?” Rosa said at the same time Tolomon said, “Weakness.”
Rosa frowned, cocking her head to one side. “Is that what they call it at the Graduate program?”
Tolomon closed his eyes, listening for something. “Millie is in position. I’m going to kiss you now, with your permission,” Tolomon said.
“I’ll follow your lead.”
In the dying light, Indenuel waited by the bush, almost sensing the fear coming from Tolomon as he barely touched her chin with a finger before chastely touching her lips with his, hardly closing his eyes. Indenuel wondered what it would be like to put Inessa in such danger and wondered if he could have the level head needed to save her. Personally, he didn’t think he could.
Tolomon broke away, taking a step back so Rosa had no choice but to let go of his elbows.
“Is that it?” she asked.
“You are my weakness, Rosa. I’m sorry. I can’t risk it.” He turned around, heading out of the gardens.
“Tolomon, stop,” she said. He did. Indenuel couldn’t tell if it was because of his need to follow orders of a woman with higher titles or something else. “Love is not a weakness?”
“I could lose you,” Tolomon said, turning to face her.
“I know you won’t,” Rosa said. “Millie is still there. She’s not running back to her servant friends. It wasn’t enough.”
“Rosa, I can’t. It will have to be enough. This is going to break me. I cannot lose you.”
“Trust yourself, Tolomon.”
“Every assignment, every mission, I pretended it was you that needed protecting, because I knew, deep down, you would never be in danger like my assignments, but it helped me give my all. And on the occasions I would fail, I would stare at the body straight on to convince myself they aren’t actually you. It was the only way I could feel better. But… but this…” He shook his head. “Rosa, I can’t scrounge up the power to do this. This is going to drive me mad.”
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Rosa took a few more steps toward him, almost glaring. “You cannot afford to make mistakes, and you cannot afford to simply do this and hope it will be enough. Doubt is the killer on the battlefield. You execute this mission to the best of your ability, whether I survive or not.” Tolomon looked surprised. “You are a soldier. Right now, there are women and children in danger, and I cannot let you give a pathetic attempt at this. This is war, right now, what we’re doing, and you need to make an attack.”
Tolomon watched her, his face steady. “Rosa-”
“I love you, Tolomon. Always have, and I always will. I have spent twenty years trying to stifle it, and it’s impossible. If I die in the next few days, then I will wait for you in the next life to carry on how I feel, because I can no longer hide how much I love you. You have me completely. Body and soul, I am yours for the rest of my existence. You will never lose me. Not ever. So, kiss me like I know you want to.”
Tolomon stared at her, his face impossible to read, before it broke and Indenuel swore he almost saw vexation flicker across his eyes. “Damn you, Rosa.”
He grabbed her around the waist, pressing her to him before he kissed her. Actually kissed her. For the first time since Indenuel knew him, Tolomon lowered his guard. His hand was tangled in her hair, her perfectly combed and curled hair was coming undone, beginning to fall around her shoulders. She had her arms around his neck, keeping her body pressed against his, kissing him deeply. In this small moment of time, the barriers they put up about pretending they didn’t feel anything for each other were given a reason to fall, and it didn’t take them long to come crashing down. Their movements were unpracticed and new, but both of them had been thinking about a moment like this for a long, long time. But Tolomon, still concerned, kept his lips above her neck, and Rosa, just as worried, never touched his back.
Indenuel looked away, realizing how quickly things moved to a more private nature the way he heard Rosa moaning between their kisses. He did not look again until he heard Tolomon pull her away, both of them panting as the stalwart sister appeared in the sky.
“She’s gone,” Tolomon said, out of breath. “And… and Eduardo will come out soon with Riel to study the nocturnal animals.” Rosa lifted her hands to feel her hair, trying to comb it with her fingers as she looked out at the grounds that were beginning to darken. “We should leave at separate times. You get back to Nathaniel. Make sure he can protect you.”
Rosa nodded, fixing her hair as best she could. “Is this truly the last time we do this?”
“I need to focus on keeping you alive first,” Tolomon said.
Rosa nodded, taking a few steps toward the entrance of the garden that took her right past Tolomon. She reached out, touching his arm, and he placed his fingers over hers. She leaned over, giving him a final kiss before letting go and leaving the garden. Tolomon watched her leave, folding his arms. Indenuel tried to stand up in a way that wouldn’t bring attention to himself, but he also knew this was Tolomon. He said nothing, not wanting to spoil anything.
Tolomon glanced at Indenuel, who tried to smile back. He then watched Rosa’s retreating form.
“She’ll be alright,” Indenuel couldn’t help but say.
“Yeah,” Tolomon said, rubbing the side of his face. “Yeah, she will.”
***
Indenuel was on edge the rest of the night, as well as the next day. They were halfway through the week, and Nathaniel was going to return to the palace soon.
Tolomon’s face was impossible to read. He stayed close to Rosa, more as a bodyguard than as a friend. Tolomon assured Nathaniel that it worked, and the gossip had spread. It would be enough. And Tolomon resigned himself to staying a respectable distance but watching carefully at every servant and family member approaching.
Indenuel had no idea how Tolomon could do this. How could he stay in a state of constant anticipation for someone to try and kill the woman he loved?
“Father,” Eduardo said, walking over to them with a huge book. “Do you know the Dengrian scholar Barclay?”
“Not super well. Gra-” Indenuel saw it on Nathaniel’s face. He was about to mention Martin but stopped himself right before he did. Indenuel had of course felt Martin’s absence the entire time they were there. Sara was as kind and gracious as ever, but there was an undercurrent of hurt as she made sure everyone was fed almost too well. Dinners were odd, with Martin’s absence at the head of the table most notable.
Nathaniel tried not to let anyone else see his slip up. “Not well,” he repeated again.
“My mentor told me while at the apprenticeship that Barclay had a controversial quote about the ocean. He wants me to write a paper on it, but I can’t even find it,” Eduardo said.
“Mmm, must be that one where he said we came out of the sea,” Tolomon said.
Rosa and Nathaniel both turned to look at him. “What?” Rosa asked.
“Yeah. Something about how the Paradisical Gardens were deep in the sea, not on land.” Tolomon motioned Eduardo over, and he delivered the heavy book into his arms. Tolomon flipped to the beginning of the book, thumbing through the index.
“Do they teach philosophy in the Graduate program too? If so, Diego is never going to become one,” Eduardo said. Nathaniel gave his eldest son a chastising look as Tolomon smiled, then flipped through the pages. “But, um, it would definitely be discouraging if he didn’t,” Eduardo added.
“A soldier uses his head for a lot more things then how to keep people safe.” He found the passage. “‘It is from the sea we have been thrown. It is in the sea that hides the remains of the Paradisical Gardens. God made it so they could never return, which meant altering their bodies to make it so they could no longer survive in the waters and were cast on land. To find the true beginning of our ancestors, we must not look to the lands where we have cultivated. We must look to the sea,’” Tolomon said. “This chapter alone got his status in the church revoked fifty years ago.”
“Controversial indeed,” Rosa said as Tolomon handed the book back to Eduardo.
“Thanks, Tolomon,” he said before heading back inside the house.
“Tackling Barclay the Scholar at his age?” Tolomon asked. “Not many dare do that.”
“Eduardo’s a smart boy.” Nathaniel eased himself onto the back of his chair before wincing. “Practically a man at this point.”
“He is a man,” Tolomon said. Rosa chuckled as Nathaniel groaned. “That deeply in denial, are you?”
Nathaniel shook his head, watching Eduardo enter the house.
Dinner was announced soon after. Once again, they sat at the table with no head. Nathaniel asked Indenuel to give the prayer, which he did. He waited for Tolomon to take a bite of his soup, but he was sitting forward, studying the table. His eyes shot to every servant, studying them closely before studying the faces of the people around the table.
“Tolomon?” Indenuel asked.
He made no reaction. He simply stood, leaning over the table, and sniffed.
“What is it?” Sara asked.
Tolomon ignored her, turning toward Adrian and Tomas. “Do not touch your soup until I inspect it.” He walked over to them.
Rosa’s eyes widened, placing a hand over her mouth as Nathaniel took her other hand.
Adrian and Tomas were confused, but let Tolomon scoop up the bowls, sniffing them both.
“Ethan were you the only one to touch this soup once it was poured,” Tolomon asked one of the male servants, still studying the soup carefully.
“Um, yes sir,” Ethan said, looking surprised Tolomon not only knew his name, but also that he was the one who poured the soup.
“Was there anyone in the kitchens you did not recognize?” Tolomon asked.
“I… not that I recall. No,” Ethan said. “Is… is it poisoned?”
“Yes, it is. The insides of the bowls themselves were coated with a thin paste made from corrupted death caps. Their livers would have failed immediately,” Tolomon said.
Adrian couldn’t take it anymore. He got out of his chair and ran for Rosa. Tomas did the same, and Tolomon set the bowls down. “Is there anyone in your staff that knows how to dispose of corrupted death cap?”
“Derio knows,” Ethan said.
“Make sure he takes care of this quietly. It’s-” Tolomon stopped, then his head jerked around to the window. He pulled out both swords, running. “Have Derio alert the King and Queen. There is an assassination attempt. Get everyone to the cellar.”
Tolomon ran out the door, and Indenuel looked at Nathaniel who was already standing. “Follow me, do not go ahead of me. Stay in a tight group. Tolomon will take care of it.”