Inessa rode in the carriage, on the way to Sabbath Worship. She honestly wasn’t sure if she was prepared for this. She didn’t want to sit down in a pew practically across from the High Elders as one of them gave their sermon. She heard Indenuel was banned from attending the social after the worship services. Which as his wife, she happily shared his punishment. She didn’t know if she could handle being among the elites now. She heard enough of their gossip from Adosina. She wasn’t ready to actually face them, whether to see their fake, smiling faces or to hear their harsh, vile words.
She walked up the steps with the other elites when a guard unfolded his arm and held it out to stop her in her path. Inessa frowned, staring at the guard who had stopped her. “What… what is this you are doing to me?” Inessa asked, trying to play the part of a noblewoman and not the part of a submissive concubine.
“Forgive us, ma’am, but you have been condemned of the High Elders,” the guard said, eyeing her carefully like she would grab daggers out from under her dress to attack him.
“Condemned? I don’t understand,” Inessa said.
“The High Elders have considered you a whore, therefore you are no longer welcome to the worship services they give,” the guard said.
Inessa winced, then glanced around at the other elites filing past. The guard didn’t drop his voice at all, and other elites watched. Some with smug looks on their faces, others in morbid curiosity.
“Also let your husband know that if he continues to give you any sort of support, he will not be allowed inside either. You may turn around and leave, or we will be forced to make you,” the guard said, dropping his arm to place his hand against the hilt of his sheathed sword.
Inessa took another step back, her chest heaving, her cheeks reddening. “I won’t fight,” she whispered, the submissiveness too much of a habit to break. “I’ll go.”
She turned around, the only one going down the steps, keeping her arms folded and her head bowed as she made her way to the carriage. She didn’t want to look at anyone’s faces. Didn’t want to see the judgement there. She climbed into her carriage, and it drove back to her empty home. One where she would sit among the staff she didn’t know as they ignored her unless she specifically asked them something. But that was typical servant behavior. She was pretty sure.
She tried to cheer herself up by remembering Indenuel would be home tomorrow. She would get to see him. Everything would be alright. At least, that’s what she thought until she remembered the conversation she had with him in the dungeon cell. How cold and without feeling he had been. There had now been two times where he had scared her far more than she wanted to admit. She loved Indenuel with all her heart, which is why these memories were so chilling to her.
Inessa touched her cheeks, her elbows on her knees. The isolation she thought had gone away at Martin’s began to trickle back into her soul. She grabbed a book, needing something to do, and tried to practice her letters.
***
Martin did not attend the social. He couldn’t bring himself to do it. It was hard enough sitting at the front, watching his family filing into the Cathedral and knowing he couldn’t be with them. None of them looked at him. Not even the hostile looks he expected from Sara. They simply were among themselves, enjoying each other’s company. Ignoring him.
It had been a few days, but every time Martin asked the carriage driver to take him home, the ride was short, and he found himself in one of the smaller guest homes between the palace and the Cathedral. He’d always get out of the carriage, look at it, and moved in with his head bowed.
Right, Martin said to himself. This is my home now.
Martin walked through the door, bowing to the servants he still was learning their names, still teaching them to just call him Martin.
He entered the smaller study. The study that seemed to belong to another man. He sat down, saying nothing except to ask if he had any letters. There were none. He didn’t know how appropriate it would be to send Sara a letter. Eventually he would have to apologize, but she was still angry.
She had every right to be.
Martin instead continued meditating, as there wasn’t much else he could do on a Sabbath day. He heard his heartbeat and sensed the flow of the blood vessels. He almost moved on to sensing his muscles when there was a soft knock on the door.
“Come in,” Martin said.
A servant opened the door. “Forgive me, sir. Adosina here to see you, if you will permit her.”
Martin paused, his heart leaping to his throat. Adosina. Here. “Of course. Send her in.”
This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.
Adosina walked in, the anger clear in her face as she gave a curtsey. “Father.” She said it more out of obligation.
Martin stood and bowed. “Thank you for visiting me, Addy.”
She rose from her curtsey, angry tears in her eyes. “Permission to speak freely?”
His eyes shot toward the door right as the servant closed it. He slowly sat down, preparing himself. “Granted.”
She was breathing deeply, the first of the tears falling. “I waited for time to pass. I hoped my anger would go away, but it has only grown. Therefore, I have to talk to you so it can stop,” Adosina said.
Martin placed his hands on his desk, looking at them. “I cannot promise your anger at me will stop.”
“It certainly hasn’t in Ami,” Adosina snapped.
“She… you… have every right to feel this way,” Martin said.
“Then why did you do it!” Adosina screamed. “My entire life, Father! You have been lying to Ami for my entire life!” Martin looked at her, tears in his eyes. “Elias told me we shouldn’t elope! That secrets destroy a family! And he’s right! He is absolutely right!”
“Addy, this might be difficult for you to under-”
“Don’t you dare justify what you did,” Adosina said.
“I’m not,” Martin said, holding up his hands. “I will never tell you that what I did was right. It was wrong. But…” He could only look at her for so long before he had to look away. He slowly stood, trying to gather his thoughts. “I’ve done despicable things to protect Santollia. I truly wish I didn’t have to.”
“You could have stopped,” Adosina said.
“You’re right. I should have. I should have done many things, now that I know better, but… but I can’t anymore. I was a different man back then. It didn’t feel like I had a choice. I am not telling you any of this to justify what I’ve done. I’m telling you all this to warn you exactly what happens when you try to hide your sins. They get bigger and bigger until they burst, and…” Martin sighed, rubbing his face. “And you lose everything. So quickly.”
“You still have your titles,” Adosina said, the hurt still in her voice.
“I’d trade them if it meant all my sins could be wiped clean,” Martin said.
Adosina studied his face before folding her arms. “All of you High Elders still have your titles. You all sat there pretending you did nothing wrong. Even you, admitting your guilt to me, are still pretending to the public that you did nothing wrong.” Martin said nothing, because he had no answer for her. “I discovered in my studies if I could prove one of my parents had committed a terrible sin, they could be stripped of their titles, and then I, too, would have my titles taken from me.”
Martin watched her carefully. “Addy.”
“And yet it has been days. Hundreds have seen the book, you admitted to Ami that you did this, and yet you and the other High Elders still have your positions. Still have your titles. High Elder Navir still carries the authority to make people believe Inessa has been sleeping with men since she was eight and is nothing more than a disgusting whore.” Adosina shook her head. “I’m starting to think elopement wouldn’t be the worst thing that happened to this family.”
Martin looked at his desk. “Don’t, Addy. Don’t follow my path. Don’t do it. I’m going to Hell, I can’t let you follow me there.”
“And when were you going to tell the rest of us?” Adosina asked, the anger and hurt still apparent. “Did you think you could keep this a secret your entire life? Were you not going to tell us anything until Ana watched you get dragged to Hell after you died? Is that when you were going to let us know?”
Martin said nothing. He had broken his daughter’s heart. He broke the hearts of everyone in his family. He was supposed to be the moral backbone, and he failed them. Every single one of them. And he was still keeping secrets from them.
Adosina turned, taking a few steps toward the door when she hesitated. Her shoulders sagged, and she gave a quiet sigh. “I kissed Elias.” Martin’s face fell. He didn’t say a word. It didn’t sound like a confession, more a statement that she wanted him to know. “Soon after the news broke about the High Elders raping those desperate women for longer than I’ve been alive.” Martin winced and looked down again. Adosina still had her back to him, still had her arms folded. “He was working in his barn, and I honestly didn’t care who saw. It was everything I imagined it would be. Wonderful, exhilarating, and it hurt. Hurt because somehow, I knew this was how I was going to kiss him. In secret. Going behind your back.” She turned around, glaring at Martin. “I was ready to have sex with him, there in his barn like one of the animals. I didn’t care. Almost had my dress off when he stopped me. I honestly thought it was because he didn’t want his good name tarnished by me, the daughter of a rapist.” She shook her head, tears spilling down her cheeks again. “But it was because he is a good man. He believes there is still hope we could get married and not have to sneak around. He asked me to talk to you when I was less angry. Confess what I’d done.”
Martin again had nothing to say. He wasn’t God’s High Elder. He was a hypocrite. He was a rapist and an accomplice to murder.
“Well? What do you have to say to my confession?” Adosina asked.
“You’re not confessing, Addy. And even if you were, I have no power to steer you back to the path of God. I have fallen from it long ago,” Martin said.
She took a few more steps forward, glaring. “Elias is a good man. Far better than what I deserve. We will be there at the next Day of Beseeching, and I will fight with everything in my power to marry him. All of you are hypocrites who destroyed your marriages with your sexual sins, both the ones in secret and the ones in public. I am already gathering a case together for how I can marry him. I hope, by the time next spring comes around, you will be far more compassionate to him and I. You cannot keep me from him anymore. If you do, I will bring down the full weight of the law, and I will make sure all four of you spend time in the dungeons for what you did. The fact that you raped all those women and haven’t spent time in the dungeon is absolutely despicable in my eyes. Those women cannot be voiceless any longer. I will throw my own father in the dungeon if I have to.”
She turned around, stomping out of his study. She didn’t curtsey, she didn’t ask to be excused. She didn’t even look at him. The front door opened and closed, and he watched his youngest daughter walk outside, arms still folded tightly. He had no doubt Adosina would do everything in her power to make sure the High Elders got the full brunt of the law. And she left before he got the opportunity to say he agreed with her.
She got into the carriage and it moved away. Away from him. Back on the road. Back home where he was no longer allowed to go.