Inessa woke up in the morning to the usual stillness. She got herself dressed and closed her eyes as the servants pulled and tugged at her hair, fixing her up before letting her go. It was nice to not have the two servants trialing her everywhere she went, but she couldn’t deny that she needed them before. But things were better between her and Martin. He had sent a note to her hastily last night, admitting his studies were taking him over and he wouldn’t be able to visit her. She didn’t mind. He must be hard at work trying to end the concubine law. She hadn’t seen him in days.
Inessa made her way to the dining hall when she saw the entire family out in the gardens, pointing at something. Curious, Inessa followed. She opened the door, hearing Ana and Rosa whispering to each other. Inessa walked out, seeing what they saw. The clouds were dark over a particular area of the sky, and it was pouring rain.
“What’s going on?” Inessa asked.
“Very little is getting through, what with High Elder Navir blocking the trees,” Sara said.
“But gossip still spreads, despite the trees,” Adosina said, appearing at her side. “Some are calling it a miracle from God. There was a troop of Kiamese soldiers out there, and rumor has it they forgot to put their campfire out. Killed some of them in their sleep.”
Inessa’s eyes widened as she looked again at the rain falling down on a section of land that couldn’t be that far from Santollia City.
“They were so close,” Inessa said.
Sara nodded, folding her arms and looking at the rain in concern. “Too close.”
“Have you heard anything from Nathaniel?” Adosina whispered to Rosa.
Rosa was deeply concerned as she watched the rain. “No, nothing,” she whispered, the pain evident in her voice.
“Not nothing,” Ana said, rubbing her shoulder. “The fact that I haven’t seen him means he’s still alive. That is someth-”
“Sara,” Derio said.
Sara turned, surprised to see Derio walking forward. “Is everything alright?”
“I got this from a boy. They’re spreading these pamphlets everywhere,” Derio said quietly, handing it to her.
Sara took it, reading it quickly, her eyes widening. “Any available male in the city is to report to the training grounds tomorrow morning. They will go through everything they need to learn to defend the city from a possible siege.”
“How young are they asking?” Rosa asked, barely a whisper.
Sara looked at her. “Age of apprenticeship.”
Fourteen. Diego, Eduardo, Nicolas, and Gustav. Ana covered her mouth, tears filling her eyes. Rosa had a strong grip on Ana, probably to keep her upright as she gave a short nod.
Sara folded the paper, staring at nothing. Inessa looked back at the rain cloud. They had been so close. They would only get closer.
“How many were killed in that campfire accident?” Inessa asked.
“They didn’t say. Probably not more than fifty, though. Fires are dangerous, but a troop of soldiers wouldn’t just wait for the flames to get them. They would have run,” Adosina said.
Inessa nodded absently, still staring at the rain cloud, wishing the Kiam soldiers had been idiots and stayed where they were. It would have been nicer if a lot more of them died.
***
Martin didn’t want to have dinner with his family, but after the news spread about apprentice age boys being called to the training grounds, he knew he had to be there at dinner to give the support he could. He didn’t know if he could ever face Inessa again, but it was easier knowing she had no idea.
Martin finished giving the prayer at dinner. The atmosphere was far more subdued. Daniela had her grip over Nicolas’ hand the entire time, trying to be strong.
There was a silence among his children and grandchildren. Ana saw the death grip Daniela had on Nicolas as she finished her bite. “I was watching Diego and Gustav teaching Nicolas and Eduardo in the gardens earlier today. It’s a blessing they’ve learned so much already before even reaching the training grounds.”
Daniela nodded, distracted. Rosa said nothing, her mouth far more pinched than before as she placed another bite in her mouth.
“I dare say, you can tell Eduardo and Diego are brothers,” Sara said. “Eduardo picked up on basic stance so fast, and Diego is such an excellent teacher.”
“Shouldn’t I learn, too?” Felicity asked.
“Felicity,” Ana said.
“If the army is in so desperate a need to ask for apprenticeship age and above, I could help,” Felicity said.
“It’s not…”
“Proper?” Felicity asked, filling in for her mother. “You think the Kiam care about what is proper?”
Ana looked genuinely stumped, then turned to Martin for help. There was silence as Martin thought. “Santollia would have to truly be desperate in order to enlist women into the military.”
“Which is now, isn’t it? Gustav and Nicolas have been asked to defend Santollia. Why can’t I?” Felicity asked.
Adosina slowed in her eating, watching the exchange with great interest. Martin set his utensil to one side. “It’s not just propriety that we keep the women out of the military, Felicity. It is for-”
“My protection?” Felicity mumbled.
“For the men,” Martin finished. Felicity frowned. “The reason why they love defending Santollia so much is they know that the women of Santollia will never understand the true horrors of war. Your father was willing to go to war, so you’d never have to see what he had to see. So you’d never have to pick up a sword and kill someone. To never hear the screams and the cries of the battlefield. If you were to arrive on the battlefield, the men would feel a sense of obligation to protect you, ignoring the sacrifices that must be made,” Martin said.
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“So, we remain defenseless?” Adosina asked. “At the mercy of Kiam, because all our able body men are elsewhere?” Martin tried to keep in a sigh as he looked at Adosina before having to look away. The fact that he did not know how bad the war was made this conversation far more difficult than it needed to be.
“We are at war,” Eduardo said. “In a way, much of the culture and propriety we follow may be lessened to an extent. You preach on Sabbath day that killing is wrong, and yet it is somehow excusable during war. I would certainly never want my cousin to step foot on a battlefield, but I would also feel a lot better if someone remained here who knew the sword to protect the house. To protect my mother and my younger brothers. Just in case.”
Martin finally let the sigh escape him. He of course knew what it meant to be in a desperate situation. The way some of the rules are let go. And this is where he ended up. He glanced at Inessa as long as he dared before he had to look away. He picked up his utensils.
Felicity didn’t touch her utensils. “Grandapi, please. I have been so anxious about the coming battle because I feel so helpless. I love my family, and I love my country. I want to defend her just like my brothers.”
Martin took a bite and swallowed, not looking at anyone. “I will not have Felicity going to the training grounds. However, I do see merit in having her trained in at least the basics of sword fighting. If her brothers agree, they can help train her in the evening. Absolutely no combat training between you and your brothers.”
Felicity relaxed. She was the only one who did. Ana gave her a nervous look.
“Is the war really that bad, Martin?” Rosa said, her voice barely coming out.
“No,” Martin said, because he knew Rosa was already requesting the strongest calming tea Sara could make every night. “But it is best to be prepared.”
That evening he walked outside, watching his oldest grandchildren learning the sword. Diego was teaching Eduardo, and Gustav was working with both Felicity and Nicolas. Ana appeared next to him, hands behind her back, as they watched.
Felicity picked up basic stance surprisingly fast and was already practicing a few jabs with Gustav.
“It seems, of all your children, it is Felicity who picked up Carlos’ natural talent,” Martin said.
Ana nodded. “Oh, the struggle I had with her growing up. All the pretend games she’d play with her and her cousins. The wrestling, the soldiering, the numerous mud stained and torn dresses. I’ve waited for her to grow out of it, but I shouldn’t expect any less from Carlos’ daughter.”
Martin smiled, reflecting briefly on his eldest son. “Thank you for loving him,” Martin said.
Ana nodded. “It was easy. It still is. He’s been visiting more frequently, worried about Nathaniel and his soldier friends. Curious about the war and how it will end.”
They fell silent again, watching the children preparing to fight in a war Martin wished he never had to subject them to.
“Thank you for letting her do this. I know it will ease some of the fears she has,” Ana said.
“Keeping busy is certainly a way not to stew in fear,” Martin said, feeling his mind return to Inessa.
“Well, thank you. I know it is unusual, but as was said, this is a desperate time,” Ana said.
Martin watched Diego, saw how skilled the boy was. There was an apprehension about the boy, but also an excitement. The same kind of excitement that he’d seen in Nathaniel once he finally decided to be a soldier.
Inessa came across the lawn, and Martin froze his face so no one would see him wince. Ana turned, smiling. “Hello, Inessa. It’s so good to see you.” Ana gave her a hug, and Inessa hugged her back.
“Thank you, Ana. It’s good to see you too.”
“Feeling better?” Ana asked.
“Yeah, I am.”
“Good.” Ana pushed aside a stray hair from Inessa’s forehead in a motherly fashion. “You have kept the demons back so well these past few days. I’m proud of you.”
“Oh, I’m sure it’s because of your own power,” Inessa said.
“Very little, recently. This is all you,” Ana said before giving her another hug.
Inessa closed her eyes and smiled, and there was a peace there that Martin hadn’t seen in a week. He had to look away. There was no way she could ever know. And there was no way she could ever go to Fadrique.
The two women broke away from the hug and Inessa walked over to Martin. “Would it be alright if we discussed matters of a more personal nature?”
The nausea threatened to come back as he did not look at her. “Of course. Shall we go on a walk?”
Inessa nodded, and they bid Ana farewell. With every pound of Martin’s heart, he felt it cracking a little bit more. “I wanted to ask, your oldest sister. Do you happen to know her age?”
“Twenty-two, sort of.”
“Twenty-two, sort of?” Martin asked, his heart dropping.
“My mother only ever kept track of when she started working at the brothel,” Inessa said, making sure her voice was quiet enough that no one could overhear. “She got pregnant with my sister soon after. So, my sister is probably twenty-one?”
Martin covered his mouth, staring ahead at the garden, pushing down the nausea before clearing his throat. “I see.”
“I’ve gone to see Beatriz. She said I’m not fertile yet, but everything is in place. Would you like her to send you her notes?” Inessa asked.
Martin’s knees weakened and he saw a bench ahead. He did not trust himself to speak until he was sitting down. He did his best to sit, covering his face as he allowed himself to understand. There was now no denying it. Inessa was his daughter.
“Martin?” Inessa asked, concerned.
He shook his head, not able to look at her. “I can’t do this, Inessa.”
Inessa played with her fingers before looking away. “But if you don’t, Fadrique will.”
Tears filled his eyes, still unable to look at her. “I know.”
“I don’t want to go back,” Inessa said.
“Because you have no choice,” Martin added for her.
She nodded. “It’s admirable that you want to end the concubine law, but I know those men, too. They are not going to shift this law. They love it too much.”
Martin could not face her. It was here, of course, the opportunity to tell her everything. The reason why he was going to refuse. But that would mean telling her the darkest secret Martin was keeping about all the women he slept with. Indenuel didn’t react well to it.
Indenuel.
Martin frowned, finally allowing himself to glance at Inessa. The answer was there in front of him. If he could convince Indenuel to help…
But he was marked. There was no way he could justify… he shouldn’t even be allowing…
“That will be all, Inessa. I’ll have a note sent off to Beatriz,” Martin said.
Inessa gave a curtsey as Martin leaned forward, thinking. All he knew was he could not sleep with her, and Fadrique could not have her. Inessa was right. His colleagues would not want to change the concubine law and changing it in two weeks was completely unrealistic. Not only were they focused on the war, but Navir would know why Martin was trying to have it changed. But if Inessa got secretly pregnant by Indenuel, it would give him the time he needed. And neither him nor Fadrique would touch her.
But even as he thought of it, it still made him queasy. In the end, he was still bartering her body. She was nothing more than something to make a baby with. Nothing more than her ability to get pregnant, and it made him ill. But of the three choices, Indenuel was the best one.
Except he was marked. Dangerously so. Martin could not in good conscious have Inessa get pregnant by a marked individual.
And yet the vision he had returned. Indenuel would be in her room, marked as he was, and they would…
Martin shook his head, getting up. No. Even as he was warming up to the idea of Indenuel sleeping with her, he could not let a marked individual into her room. If they were going to do this, Indenuel’s mark needed to come off.
Martin passed his grandchildren practicing in the dying light. Felicity there, learning what she shouldn’t because they were desperate. It was the same principle. Martin was desperate, so he’d turn the other way as Indenuel impregnated Inessa. But he would never be as desperate as to keep that mark on. He’d have to throw himself in his research. He had about two weeks until Inessa was fertile, which means he needed to figure out how to get Indenuel’s mark off. And apologize to him. And get on good terms with the boy in case he tried to blackmail Martin about the true parentage of Inessa’s future baby. And never tell Indenuel that Inessa was actually his daughter.
“Martin?” He turned to see Sara, heading toward him. “Where are you off to?”
“I must study,” he said. Sara frowned, glancing at the setting sun. “It cannot wait.”
“Alright. Well, God guide you in your studies.”
Martin allowed himself to smile before leaving his house. There was one thing he was certain of. No one, not even Indenuel, was ever going to figure out this new darkest sin. No one would know he was Inessa’s father.