Inessa went down at breakfast time, tried to smile when Martin complimented her new dress, ate a small breakfast, and excused herself again. She would have curled up on her bed, but she couldn’t do it. Her dress was too nice for that. So, she simply sat on the chair, staring at her reflection in the mirror, too afraid to mingle with the family. Despite all the words of comfort, she could never forget the anger in Martin and Sara’s voices. Couldn’t forget the sinking truth that no one wanted her here.

It wasn’t the first time Inessa’s eyes darted to the bottom drawer. She wasn’t thinking about the mementos or the bag with the draw string. There was a way she could make Sara and Martin happy again, and that was if she wasn’t here anymore, permanently.

Inessa’s eyes shot back to her reflection. She had to be careful. Today was the Day of the Devil. Sure, it was a fun holiday for children to tell scary stories or to light multiple candles to keep the darkness away at night, but from her own personal experience, her depression always got worse. Whether it was demon activity or something else, she wasn’t sure. All she knew is she couldn’t act on it. Not today. She’d see how she felt tomorrow.

There was a knock on the door, and Inessa looked at it through the mirror before standing up, realizing she was holding her wrists in a weird way. Was someone coming to visit her? She tried to remember if she asked a servant for something.

She opened the door and saw Adosina. “May God protect you on this day, Inessa.”

“May God protect you, Addy.” Inessa glanced down the empty halls. “Is everything alright?”

“Have you eaten lunch yet?” Adosina asked.

Inessa did not realize it had been that long. “I’m not hungry, actually.”

“You’ve been cooped up in your room a long time today. Would you like to walk out to the gardens with me?”

Inessa stared at Adosina before looking away. “Do you think that your mother would…”

Adosina shook her head. “Don’t worry about what my mother thinks. She’s figuring out some things.”

“Addy, I’m not welcome here,” Inessa said. “You don’t have to pretend.”

“I am not pretending. You are my friend, first and foremost. I know you’ve been miserable here. Shopping with you made it seem like for the first time we were friends again. I didn’t realize it would make my parents…” Adosina trailed off, not sure how to finish the conversation. “Anyway, my parents are the ones that need to figure this out. I do not blame you in the slightest.”

Inessa stared at her friend. “Really?”

“Really. If anyone is at fault of the two of us, it would be me. After all, I did suggest going to Tima’s.” Inessa hesitated, which was long enough for Adosina to grab her wrist and pull her from her room. “It’s important to get a lot of sunlight today. The demons hate that.”

Inessa nodded as they walked down the hall and out the back doors, heading for the gardens. Ana chatted with Daniela, laughing at something as she held Little Carlos’ hands as he stood on wobbly legs. Felicity was reading in the sunlight. Gustav, Diego, and Aaron were trying to recreate some sort of sword play move. Tomas and Aiden were watching and poking the bugs in the garden. A little further off, Nathaniel and Rosa were finishing up their picnic.

“A little sun feels good, doesn’t it?” Adosina asked.

Inessa nodded, closing her eyes to feel the warmth. The temperature in her own hometown didn’t change too drastically. It was weird to think of some places that were getting so cold now that there would be snow. She’d never seen snowfall before. She wondered what that would be like.

“Pay my parents no mind. They’ll sort things out in the end. Of the two of them, my mother had the hardest time, and all of us are too afraid to anger her, so we ignored you for a very long time. I cannot imagine the hurt it’s caused you,” Adosina said.

Inessa said nothing as they walked, feeling the fresh air. The hurt, the anger, it was all still there, but it did seem to lessen a bit. Adosina was trying to make things right, and it was helping, but there was still the fact that on the first day of next week, she’d be intimate with Adosina’s father, and she doubted things would simply go away.

“It’s a hard situation,” Inessa said, knowing she was actually at fault for it all. If she just got pregnant with Dalius, even Navir, none of this would have happened. It was her own personal choices which made this so hard.

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And yet Martin gave her a choice. He asked her if she wanted to keep the dresses and respected her when she made the decision. For the first time in her life, someone listened to her and let her decide. Though this was with clothes that followed the rules in the first place. Martin would have a very different reaction if he knew exactly what she was doing. If she said she didn’t want a child. It was not what God or society expected of her.

They walked for a while, talking of nonsense, helping Inessa keep her mind off things when Adosina got a visitor. Adosina asked if she wanted to join, but she shook her head. She was actually quite hungry, having not had any lunch.

They split ways once they entered the home, with Adosina going to the sitting room, and Inessa heading toward the kitchens. She was careful where she went. Even with her talk with Adosina, she wasn’t in the mood to run into Sara. Once she heard Sara’s laughter out among the garden with her grandchildren, Inessa was far more confident walking into the kitchen. She greeted the servants, taking a small plate with her into the dining hall. It didn’t feel too much like a holiday, since Martin was nowhere to be found. He was probably making himself scarce after last night. She could almost believe he was just at the Cathedral.

Inessa popped grape in her mouth as she walked into the dining hall. After two steps in, she realized it wasn’t as empty as she thought. Nathaniel and Rosa had come back from their picnic, and now they were kissing in the dining hall. Nathaniel had her against the wall, and it was just getting deep when Inessa froze, already planning on how best to keep quiet and sneak out so they wouldn’t hear, but Nathaniel looked up, surprised as he broke away, keeping his hands on Rosa’s back.

“Oh, hello Inessa,” he said.

Inessa gave a small curtsey. “So sorry, I’ll go.”

Rosa covered her mouth, her face bright red, and started to giggle.

“No, no, it’s fine. The dining hall is for eating, after all,” Nathaniel said, still holding on to Rosa whose face was bright red and trying to hide it in Nathaniel’s chest. Honestly, Rosa didn’t have to be embarrassed. There was worse things Inessa stumbled on than a kiss between husband and wife. Albeit a passionate one, but it made her feel a small pain in her heart. She’d never have that kind of a love.

“I can easily go back into the kitchen. It’s no trouble,” Inessa said.

Nathaniel shook his head. “Sit down, Inessa. It’s us who should go.”

“Nathaniel,” Rosa said ever so quietly, her face getting even redder as he looked at her, his smile brightening.

“Oh, come now my love. There are plenty of places to “go”, I didn’t necessarily mean upstairs to-”

“Alright, alright,” Rosa said, placing her hands against her burning cheeks. Inessa smiled as she sat down. Nathaniel and Rosa always acted like newlyweds for a few days whenever he came back to visit. She eased herself into her normal spot and ate another grape, trying to think if, in another life, she could have had their kind of happiness.

“That’s a lovely dress, Inessa,” Nathaniel said.

“Thank you, Captain Nathaniel.”

Nathaniel blinked, almost surprised. “I don’t think anyone in this household has ever called me that. It doesn’t even feel like my name.”

“So… you’d rather I didn’t?” Inessa asked, figuring this was like father like son.

“The word, there’s a word for it, I just can’t think of it right now.” Nathaniel scratched the back of his head before shrugging. “All I’m saying is I might not answer if that’s how you call me because I don’t realize it’s me you’re trying to call.”

Inessa smiled, then gave a tiny nod. This was the most Nathaniel had ever talked to her. Granted, he was gone a lot, and whenever he did see her Sara wasn’t that far behind, and no one talked to her when Sara was around.

“I wanted to check, are you alright?” Nathaniel asked.

Inessa looked up, surprised he was still talking. “Pardon?”

“Dinner last night was not normal. Not any dinner I’ve ever had here,” Nathaniel said, checking with Rosa, who’s cheeks weren’t nearly as red. She shook her head.

“No, no it wasn’t. I’ve honestly never seen Sara react like that,” Rosa said.

“It’s, um…” Inessa honestly didn’t know what to say. Nathaniel was Martin’s son. She didn’t know what she could say and have him not get embarrassed. “I don’t know. It was weird.”

“No one in this household blames you for what happened at dinner. You know that, right?” Nathaniel said.

Inessa stared at his face, saw the sincerity there, but she knew better. “I… I’m pretty sure Sara would disagree with that.”

Nathaniel shook his head. “She blames my father far more than she would ever blame you.”

Rosa nodded. “Sara needs to soften too. Ana and I have been trying to talk with her for a few weeks now about you settling in with the family. She needs to face the idea that you will be staying with us for a long time.”

Inessa stared, her eyes bouncing between Rosa and Nathaniel. The hurt, the anger, the pain, it all seemed to soften. “Thank you,” she whispered. “I…” Inessa blinked back tears she didn’t know had formed before smiling. “That’s very kind of you.”

Nathaniel nodded. “I look forward to getting to know you better.”

“You too Captain Nathaniel.”

“Ah, yes. My father did say you have a hard time dropping titles,” Nathaniel said, taking Rosa’s hand and heading toward the door.

“Sorry,” Inessa said, screwing her face up. “I do try. It’s just so odd.”

He snapped his fingers. “Odd! That’s the word. Calling me Captain Nathaniel is odd. Nathaniel is just fine.”

Inessa smiled into her dried ham. Nathaniel almost opened the door when Derio walked in instead.

“Forgive me, Nathaniel. Martin is meditating in his study and said beforehand he didn’t want to be disturbed, but this just came from Tolomon,” Derio said.

Nathaniel’s face shifted to concern. “Tolomon?”

Derio nodded and Nathaniel took the letter, opening it and glancing through the words quickly.

“My love?” Rosa asked.

“Father needs to be disturbed for this. Thank you Derio.” Nathaniel patted him on the shoulder before turning to Rosa. “I love you. I will be back later.”

“Is everything alright?” she asked.

He gave her a quick kiss. “I hope so.” Nathaniel turned, heading out the door.