Indenuel wasn’t asleep. Blissful was the term he’d use. Too blissful to sleep. Inessa was curled up to him, and he wanted to savor this moment. True, now that they were married, they would have many more of these moments, but this was still a new feeling. He didn’t have to slip out the window this time. He could hold her, cuddled up as she was, and no one could tell him to move away.

He couldn’t think of another time when he had been this happy. It all worked. Martin married them. Inessa and Indenuel stayed for the lunch provided at Martin’s house before they left to be alone. There were very few people at the luncheon, all of them female by Sara’s request. Rosa, Ana, and Adosina were all completely shocked by the whole thing, but understood the political statement Inessa gave. Adosina especially, once the shock of the indecency of the dress wore away, was praising Inessa for her bravery.

“You do know the High Elders won’t leave this alone,” Adosina said.

Inessa had nodded. “I know. But I can’t stay quiet about it.”

Adosina squeezed her hand. “You have my support, and all you have to do is ask and I will lend whatever assistance I can.”

Indenuel had watched the exchange, and he couldn’t help but feel like Sara gave a slight breath of relief once he and Inessa were gone. The real party could begin once the guests from the luncheon waved them on. Indenuel had no idea if the nobility had returned for the dinner party. Maybe they had. Maybe the Oraminians attended too. He didn’t know. He was certain there was an entire gossip line dedicated to the wedding, but Indenuel didn’t want to worry about that right now.

Inessa stirred before moving closer to Indenuel, her body pressed up against his. Indenuel kissed her forehead, and she let out a sigh. He smiled as she placed her hand on his torso.

“Is it dawn yet?” Inessa asked, her eyes still closed.

“No. It’s still quite dark out there,” Indenuel said.

“Did you sleep well?” Inessa asked.

“I’m too afraid to. It might have been a dream all along.”

Inessa laughed as she opened her eyes. “Quite the chaotic dream, if it had.”

“I’m not talking about the wedding.” He touched her chin and kissed her again. Inessa smiled, even though he closed his eyes, he could sense her lips turning upward as he kissed her.

“I love you,” she said.

He smiled, feeling like he was going to burst. Despite the huge disturbance they had caused, and would most likely face, he touched her hair, smiling like he didn’t have a care in the world. “I love you too.”

Inessa settled onto Indenuel, her head against his bare chest. “We caused quite the scene yesterday.”

“I don’t know what I did, but I did support you,” Indenuel said.

“I mean, you could have denounced me, gotten angry, told me I was a whore for the way I was dressed and walked out on me,” Inessa said.

Indenuel snorted even at the idea. “Not going to happen.” He ran his fingers through her long, dark brown hair before his hands settled on the small of her back. Inessa smiled, then lifted her head, bringing her hands to his chest and resting her chin there.

“There’s, um… the High Elders are going to retaliate,” Inessa said.

“Most likely, yes,” Indenuel said.

“They might try and pull us apart emotionally.”

“They can certainly try,” Indenuel said, going in for another kiss. Inessa backed away just enough to give him pause.

“I have some dark secrets,” she said. “Secrets I never planned on telling anyone, but maybe I should tell you. Just so you’re not… horrified if the High Elders ever find them out.” Indenuel gave her a curious look, mulling something over. The horror grew on her face. “Indenuel?”

He realized his silence was giving her distress. “Of course. Of course I’ll listen.”

“And… and you won’t judge me?” Inessa asked.

“Are you about to confess to something?” Indenuel asked, a slight smile on his face. The seriousness in Inessa’s face made him realize he was taking this far too lightly. “Oh, you are confessing to something.”

Inessa sighed, closing her eyes. “Maybe this is something you should know, now that you’re my husband. I should have told you sooner in case…” she trailed off, the distress still visible in her face.

Indenuel sat up, leaning against the headboard before wrapping his arm around her shoulder again. “I’ll make you a deal. I won’t judge you with your confession if you don’t judge me with mine.”

Inessa looked surprised. “You worked hard to get the mark off your chest, Indenuel. I’m quite proud of what you did.”

“This is, um,” he tried to find the word. “This is something new.”

The surprise deepened. “Something you’ve never told anyone about?”

Indenuel shrugged. “Well, I’ve told some people some of the story, but not in its entirety. So you tell me your dark secret, and I’ll tell you mine.”

Inessa nodded. “Alright, sounds like a deal.” She ran her hand through her hair as it spilled down her shoulders, the only thing covering her torso. Indenuel kept his eyes on hers, knowing she needed his support right now, even though she was extremely distracting. “How much of my childhood do you know about?”

“The little you’ve told me. Your mother was in charge of a secret brothel, and it was somehow your responsibility to raise your siblings,” Indenuel said.

Inessa nodded, a grim look on her face. “Yeah. She says she’s stopped what with me being a concubine to a High Elder. Or, was. Was a concubine.”

“Do you think she has?” Indenuel asked.

“I hope so. We made a promise that she’d never come visit me as long as I did my duty and my mother got to have the titles awarded to her for having a beautiful daughter,” Inessa said.

Indenuel winced at the harsh way that was worded. He couldn’t deny Inessa’s beauty, though. Inessa sighed again. “I was taught how to use the poppy seed on myself, but I also used it on my mother and older sister secretly so I could take a break. I was in charge of my six siblings, and I was exhausted all the time. My mother refused to let me work in the brothel, because she saw my potential as a concubine from when I was eight.”

“Eight?” Indenuel asked, trying to keep the incredulousness from his voice.

Inessa nodded, a weariness on her shoulders. “Eight. She did everything in her power to make sure I was the prettiest girl in all Santollia. I stayed pure, even as my older sister Mariana was preparing to work in my mother’s brothel. Things were difficult between me and my sister during that time. Still is. I doubt our relationship will ever recover.” Indenuel rubbed her back as Inessa placed her head against his shoulder, closing her eyes. “My mother and Mariana started to notice they weren’t having children. They didn’t understand I was using poppy root on them. I wasn’t great at it, and it’s impossible to hide when you use it on someone else, so even if they did get a healer to check, I would have been found out. Around that time High Elder Dalius had come to visit, and my mother taught me how to seduce him.”

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Indenuel couldn’t help it and winced. Inessa looked at him. “I didn’t have to do much. My mother made me think it would be a lot harder, but I hardly said a few phrases to him and the next day we got the official declaration that I would be his next concubine.”

“Because of a few phrases?” Indenuel asked. He didn’t mean to sound disbelieving, but it still trickled out.

Inessa gave a smirk before she grabbed the blankets, wrapping them around her like they were ill fitting clothes. Indenuel watched, curious, until Inessa turned to look at him. In the dim light he saw her eyes widening with the purest form of childlike wonder in her eyes. “Sir, it is such an honor to meet you!” Her voice was higher, really pushing the idea of a child. “Please forgive me my clothes. So much of what I have I give to my younger siblings to make sure they have what they need.” Indenuel glanced down, seeing her cleavage, how the sheets were barely hanging onto her body. “Thank you for gracing us with your presence today.” The part of the sheet that was on her shoulder dropped dangerously low to reveal far too much. “It is something I hope to tell my future children about. The day I was able to meet a High Elder of God’s Holy Church.” Indenuel almost couldn’t hear what she said at the end. He was far too focused on how much that sheet was just a strong breath away from falling off. Even though he knew exactly what she looked like underneath, he couldn’t help but stare.

“Yeah, um…” He cleared his throat. “I can… yep. Unnatural, but… I see why it worked.” Indenuel took the moment to run a hand through his hair to help him focus. Inessa moved the sheets to cover herself better, the smile from her face dropping and the childlike wonder disappearing.

“Anyway, when I was chosen as a concubine, I realized poppy root would no longer work on my mother and Mariana, since I had to be there while they took it to move it into their bodies.” Her voice was far quieter, far more reserved. “I had my six younger siblings to take care of, as well as Mariana’s two children. Eight. All under my care.” Indenuel frowned, starting to understand why Inessa didn’t want to have children. “I resented my mother and Mariana. Hated that I had to take care of their children while they went off to… to make more, essentially.” Indenuel rubbed her shoulder, letting her know he was still listening.

“I have two brothers younger than me, and a sister after that,” Inessa continued. “My mother told me to talk to my sister, who was eight at the time, to prepare to take over my responsibilities. How to tend a baby. How to get food on the table. How to shop in the market square whenever we did have money. Make sure my sister knew how to be mother.” Inessa looked down, tears filling her eyes. “I may have been a mother to children at three, but I couldn’t in good conscious force that responsibility on Anali. I at least worked up to eight children. She would suddenly be responsible for eight, even more if my mother didn’t stop the brothel. I asked my brothers to help, but they refused to take care of the children, and my mother didn’t force them. So I…” She looked up, meeting Indenuel’s gaze. “So, I took all the money I had and hired someone to corrupt the poppy root. Made it so instead of blocking the pregnancy every month, it…” Inessa’s hands trembled so he took it, giving it a squeeze. “It destroyed the organ that… that makes the baby,” she whispered. “They were sick for a week. Dalius, as a friendly enough gesture, made sure they were given the best care before whisking me away to the Cathedral. No law enforcement came to check why they suddenly couldn’t have babies, they simply healed what they could and moved on. No one knows it was me.” Inessa dried her tears. “I can’t tell them. They can still work in the brothel, if that is what they’ve stupidly decided to do, but they cannot have children. I know it broke Mariana’s heart when the female healer told them what had happened. She adored her children, though never enough to do what she needed to take care of them. She would play with them, which was far more involved than my own mother with me and my siblings.” Inessa looked down. “When Mariana learned she couldn’t have anymore, she stopped eating for days.” She shook her head. “Maybe I should have just talked to them, but I was too scared. Anali had a hard enough time adjusting to her responsibilities. I couldn’t let them place more on her.” Inessa sighed before rubbing her eyes. “I don’t need to know if I did the right thing. I know it was wrong. But at least Anali can have a childhood. As much as she can in that kind of life.” She moved over, again leaning against Indenuel’s shoulder as he placed an arm around her, kissing her hair.

Inessa looked up at him, a sad smile flickering across her face before she kissed him lightly. “You have your own innocent charm, do you even realize it?”

Indenuel frowned. It was such a different turn of conversation from before. “I doubt that very much. Not after what I have done.”

“It’s still there. That innocence that seems like it shouldn’t be there, but it is,” Inessa said.

Indenuel didn’t say much, simply used the excuse to kiss her. Inessa broke away, a small smile on her face. “You kept your end of the deal and listened to my dark secret. Don’t get distracted that you forget to tell me yours.”

“Oh, right,” Indenuel said, completely forgetting what he had promised. Again, Inessa leaned against his shoulder, holding the sheet around her. Indenuel leaned his head back, looking at the darkened room. “My mother accidentally murdered someone in our village, and I helped her cover it up.”

Inessa didn’t seem too surprised and gave a grim nod. “Your mother murdered someone?”

“Accidently,” Indenuel couldn’t help but add. “The war had finally hit Mountain Pass and she became indebted to Efano to give her the money needed to feed us. She invited him over to dinner one day, knowing he was allergic to a certain kind of mushroom, but only if it was tainted with the corruptive powers. The mushrooms shriveled enough that she could ground it up quite easily and put it in the gravy she gave without him realizing what mushrooms they were. It was only supposed to make him sick for a few days to keep him from harassing our house twice a day for the money.”

Indenuel straightened again. “It’s a tricky thing to balance, and she corrupted it too far. It killed him later that night.” Indenuel glanced at Inessa who listened quietly to his story. “She was heartbroken. She was going to confess, but I told her not to. I pulled the mark from her myself, and we could cover it up. They could have put her in prison for years, probably died in there. Matteo, Isla, and Emilia would have been placed in a different family. I couldn’t let that happen. She agreed to not confess, but she was arrested anyway. They put her on trial and because of the seriousness of the crime, she was stripped of privacy. Hugo, our tree talker in Mountain Pass, sorted through her memories and I managed to secretly connect with the tree he used. It was easy, since everyone in Mountain Pass had no idea I was a tree talker. I blocked the more condemning memories my mother had. Blocked any memory at all of her using her corruptive powers. Hugo wasn’t entirely convinced but knew my mother couldn’t have been powerful enough to block her own memories, so he assumed what he saw was true. That it was all a horrible mistake. Which… it was. But my village doesn’t look kindly on corruption.”

Indenuel said nothing as Inessa took this in. There was nothing but compassion in her emerald eyes. “What happened to your mother?”

“Released. Whacked me a few times for what I’d done. Then we suffered through the villagers’ desire to still punish the person they thought was responsible,” Indenuel said.

“I’m sorry,” Inessa said.

Indenuel gave her a side hug, kissing her forehead. “The hardest thing about it all was the night I caught my mother trying not to sob too loud in our hut a few weeks later. She caught me standing there and said how she was going to hell for this. The guilt caught up with her. I told her it was an accident, but she didn’t care. She murdered someone, and murder meant hell for sure.”

Indenuel remembered his own crimes, his eyes glazing over as he tried to numb that part of him.

“Indenuel,” Inessa whispered, touching his cheek, forcing him to look at her. “It’s going to be alright. Your mother isn’t in hell. God is loving and kind. I’m certain He will look kindly on her heart.”

He said nothing. He picked up a lock of her hair, twirling it around his finger. Her statement brought no comfort, and he wasn’t about to tell her why. The truth of the matter was, if Lucia was so certain she belonged in hell, then Indenuel was definitely bound for it. He was certain she made it to heaven, but since she had bound her soul to the earth, he didn’t know if demons took her or she went to sleep in the heavenly light. But he realized another thing. If Lucia wasn’t in heaven, then he didn’t want to go there either. He realized now that she didn’t just murder, but also slept with Cristoval out of wedlock. If, by some horrible reasoning Lucia did go to hell for what she did, then at least he would see her again.

Would Inessa join him in hell too? As the woman who had slept with four married men and willingly caused pain to her mother and sister to keep them from having children? Somehow, as he looked at her face, despite knowing her darkest secret, he couldn’t imagine someone like her going there. He couldn’t imagine Lucia being in hell either. It stirred a memory from the prophet of the fifth age. Both of them were in heaven. He had confirmed it, and had even visited him. But as for Indenuel, he practically said the vision was the first time he really met him.

The realization of it brought an ache to his heart. It didn’t confirm Indenuel would go to hell, but it might as well have. Lucia and Inessa would reside in a Godless heaven while he would suffer in a devil-controlled hell.

“Indenuel?” Inessa asked, pulling him from his thoughts.

After the heavy topic, Indenuel felt the need to make the conversation light again. “Well, we both know each other’s darkest secrets. Would it disgust you if I kissed you?”

“I mean, would it bother you if I kissed you back?” Inessa asked.

“I assure you it will not.”

That was enough formality. Inessa giggled before she kissed him.