Martin watched from his study window as Tolomon and Indenuel said goodbye to Matteo, Isla, and Emilia. They lingered, not wanting to leave, but knowing they had to. Martin closed the curtains and sat down at his desk, massaging his head. He was getting a headache, and it was not going away anytime soon. He had a mountain of beseeching letters on his desk that the other High Elders needed his opinion on. He hardly made a dent in them today. Martin grabbed one, reading it through before writing his opinion down on the bottom of the page and moving onto the next one.
There was a knock on the door.
“I don’t need anything, Derio,” Martin said.
Nathaniel opened the door. “I’m not Derio.”
Martin gave his son a glance. “No, you’re not. I thought you’d already gone.”
Nathaniel walked in farther, closing the door. “Adrian wanted me to stay until he was asleep.” He moved over to the chair but didn’t sit in it. “Do you want to tell me what happened tonight?”
“Now is not the time,” Martin said.
“I am heading back to my men tonight, and we’re at the tail end of a war. We get this out now in case I don’t come back,” Nathaniel said.
Martin looked up at his son. “I’m tired, Nathaniel. That’s all it is.”
“And if you were just tired, Mother would be in here serving you tea and making sure you got your rest. Mother isn’t talking to you anymore. Even with that robe on I can tell your losing weight. You’ve insulted our guests tonight, and you insulted your own concubine. You have been lying all evening, and I cannot bare to leave this house without asking you why.”
Martin stared at Nathaniel, the exhaustion returning in full force. “Well, there you go, son. You’ve asked why. You may now leave.”
Nathaniel frowned, then shook his head. “I know you have things to keep sacred. The weight you bear as a High Elder must be indescribable. But you taught me how to be a nobleman, and I cannot leave without saying that you, sir, did not act like one tonight. Whatever it is you must do to repair your relationship with Mother, with Adosina, with Inessa, I will support you in whatever capacity I can. But please, repair them before your other relationships begin to tear.”
Martin kept Nathaniel’s gaze, watched his second eldest son who took his teachings far better than he expected. So much like his mother in every way. Kind, nurturing, yet his only child who had his own gift. Nathaniel was a healer in more ways than just his power, though. Despite the fear Martin had at Nathaniel being a soldier, he was relieved his son never went into politics.
Martin placed the quill back in the bottle before standing, knowing Nathaniel was right. This war could turn bad, and Nathaniel was the kind of man who stayed until the end. Even if the end meant his death.
Martin stood, trying to smile. “Thank you, for making me aware of my shortcomings. You are right, the stress is getting to me. I shall take your advice to heart.”
Nathaniel gave a small bow. “I am a letter away if you ever need me, Father.”
Martin bowed in return. “I’m praying for you, son. In the coming battles. We need you to return. I don’t think this household can bare another death. You’re still far too young.”
“Too young? I turned thirty-nine two months ago. Weren’t you thirty-seven when you became a High Elder?”
Martin shook his head, keeping back a wince. “Too young.”
Nathaniel’s smile was small. “I trust my men with my life.”
“And Indenuel?” Martin asked.
“I consider him one of my men.” Nathaniel went to the door. “Relationships are always worth working on. You taught me that.”
“I know I did.” He sighed. “You are a good soldier. You never would have been happy in politics. Forgive me of my comment toward you at dinner.”
Nathaniel smiled before returning to give Martin a hug. “Of course, Father. I love you.”
“I love you too.” Nathaniel quietly left the study, and Martin sat back down in his chair, feeling the dread that always came when he sent his son off to war.
Martin picked up his quill again. Nathaniel was right. He needed to work on his relationships. And he needed to figure out what exactly was going on with Inessa. He was finished gathering information. It was time to figure out exactly who this girl was.
***
Indenuel waited by the carriage that would take them home as Tolomon said his last goodbyes to the girls. Tolomon said nothing, simply was on his knees, smiling as they took turns sharing their stories. Matteo was already in the carriage, quietly waiting for them to be done. Nathaniel walked over to them, and Indenuel was embarrassed all over again about the corruption he felt at dinner.
“Still here?” Nathaniel asked, his horse waiting near the other carriages.
“I wouldn’t dare cut that short,” Indenuel said, pointing to Tolomon and the girls.
Nathaniel smiled at them. “I don’t blame you,” he said, before putting his arm around Indenuel’s shoulder. “I wanted to make sure you were fine. That story you shared at dinner-”
“I’m sorry,” Indenuel said, looking down. “I shouldn’t have. I couldn’t handle Martin insulting you like that.”
Nathaniel glanced at the window that led to Martin’s office. “I have sorted it out with my father, and we have come to an agreement.” He looked back at Indenuel and smiled, moving his hand from off his shoulder to pat his back. “You’ve already got Santollia to save, I wouldn’t ask you to fight this one for me too.”
“I… I didn’t mean to… the corruption I-”
“You calmed yourself down. You didn’t use it. It is commendable, but still dangerous. This is what happens when you try to heal the marks yourself. The corruption comes back way too quickly. You’ve got to confess, no matter how pink the mark. It puts up stronger barriers, so it doesn’t come back nearly as quickly.”
Indenuel nodded, not looking at Nathaniel. “I’ll do my best.”
“That’s all any of us can ask of you.” Nathaniel patted his shoulder. “You’re still just a child, you are still learning. And your village…” His face again was overcome with pain.
Indenuel itched his forehead. “I’m sorry. I fear I’ve insulted your family with my harsh language.”
“No, no. The people of your village insulted my family far more than what you said.”
Indenuel said nothing, the sun fully set and the four stars twinkling in the sky above. Martin’s house was lit with enough lamps that Nathaniel could see his face, so he turned away from him. His mind was there again, in the hut, screaming at Lucia to check on the children to make sure no stray piece of embers from the torches had hit their roof and started a fire. He could hear Matteo sobbing, but he had to keep the door shut so he couldn’t go to comfort him. But Lucia could.
Indenuel blinked back tears, trying to be strong. Nathaniel placed his hand again on his shoulder before changing his mind and hugging him. Indenuel hugged him back, closing his eyes and using this opportunity to hide his tears in Nathaniel’s jacket.
Support the creativity of authors by visiting Royal Road for this novel and more.
“You didn’t deserve any of that. How they treated your mother, how they treated you, it was wrong.” The tears kept coming. He couldn’t hide them all and let out a small sob, trying to stifle it. Nathaniel didn’t seem to care. In fact, he held him tighter.
“I know I need to forgive. To stop hating them,” Indenuel said quietly. “But I can’t. It’s too hard.”
“You know, sometimes forgiveness doesn’t always look like what people think,” Nathaniel said.
It was so strange, Indenuel had to break the hug to look at him. “What?”
Nathaniel smiled. “I will not pretend to know what it was like for you growing up, but I do know forgiveness isn’t something you do once and it’s over. It’s a process. Chipping away at the hate takes time. Just like learning the sword. Small, simple steps. Don’t expect to forgive them right away, and often, the process involves feeling a lot of anger at people who should have known better.”
Despite Nathaniel always having a smile on his face, it was somehow this smile after what he said that made Indenuel stare.
“But that’s…”
“Not what forgiveness is?” Nathaniel filled in for him. Indenuel had no answer. Honestly, he hadn’t paid much attention to the forgiveness sermons. “They caused you almost twenty years of hurt. It will take a long time to sort through that. You can’t expect to forgive in a day and move on. You have a lost childhood to mourn. To grieve for. That kind of thing takes years. Some days will be easier than others but take heart that they cannot hurt you anymore. You do what you can, and you let me, Tolomon, and the rest of the army worry about the Warrior part of the prophecy.” Indenuel blinked over and over again. He didn’t expect to start crying again, and he didn’t want to. But somehow, it felt as though Nathaniel gave him permission to not be perfect, and a huge burden lifted from his shoulders. It felt strange to hear, but Nathaniel was right. He couldn’t forgive in a day. Moving on from the abuse of his village felt impossible to do. But maybe he could start to chip away at it and allow himself years to work on it. Because it would take years. “We’re strong enough between us all to lift your burden for a while. You aren’t meant to do this alone.”
“But…” Indenuel started to say. “But I am meant to do it alone.” He couldn’t say it out loud.
Rosa walked down the pathway, and Nathaniel smiled at her before focusing on Indenuel again. “I’ll be there. However this prophecy is going to play out, I’ll have a part in helping you, I just know it.”
Indenuel swallowed the lump in his throat as Rosa approached.
“The children are all asleep. I thought you’d be gone by now,” Rosa said.
“I should. I am too much of a talker, it seems,” Nathaniel said.
“Oh, never apologize for something like that. It gives me another chance to say goodbye,” Rosa said.
She kissed him, and Indenuel looked away to give them privacy, and give him time to process. His mind was alive with terror. Five hundred Kiam soldiers. All by himself. After suffering great losses. Nathaniel would never leave his side either. If it was a great battle, and if Nathaniel and Tolomon where both there. What if they both…
Nathaniel broke away, smiling at Rosa. “I will see you after the war.”
“You better.” She kissed him again.
Tolomon appeared at Indenuel’s side as the girls and Matteo waved out the window of the carriage. Indenuel waved and felt panic consume him, his chest heaving in fear.
“Indenuel? Are you alright?” Tolomon asked.
The moment the children were past the gate, Nathaniel broke away, squeezing Rosa’s hand before heading toward his horse.
“Nathaniel!” Indenuel didn’t know what he was doing. He didn’t know why he started running, but he did. He headed straight for Nathaniel and threw his arms around him. Nathaniel didn’t have enough time to turn around.
“Indenuel?” he asked, lifting his arm to see him better.
“Just… stay away from me at the battle. Whenever I’m called, just stay away. Don’t come find me, don’t fight with me. I can’t… I can’t let your children lose you,” Indenuel said.
“What are you talking about?” Nathaniel asked.
“I have to do it alone,” Indenuel said, trying not to be too loud so Rosa wouldn’t hear but knowing he was starting to panic again. “It’s what the prophecy says. I’ll be alone. After suffering great losses. You might… if you’re there you could…” Indenuel couldn’t bring himself to say it. “I can’t lose you. I can’t lose Tolomon. I can’t lose anyone else. You’ve all been so kind to me.” He covered his mouth, his breathing turning into short gasps. Nathaniel’s eyes softened. “I’m not the Warrior. There’s been a mistake. I can’t do this.”
Nathaniel moved enough so he could give him a proper hug. “I’m never going to leave your side.”
“I can’t watch you die. I can’t. Your death, Tolomon’s death, it will destroy me. I’m not a soldier. I never asked for this. I don’t want it.”
“I’m sorry.” It sounded as though Nathaniel was holding back tears himself. “I’m sorry about what you’ve been asked to do. You’ve been given an impossible task, and I cannot leave you to do it alone, no matter what the prophecy says.”
Indenuel started to sob. “You must! You’re going to die. Oh, God, you’re going to die.”
Nathaniel let him go, taking a step back before touching his own heart. Faint ribbons of healing power came out, something Indenuel could once produce but couldn’t any longer. Nathaniel moved the ribbons of healing and connected it with Indenuel’s own heart. He hadn’t noticed how quickly his heart was beating until the connection was made. Nathaniel closed his eyes for a moment, gasping as he took on Indenuel’s panic. Indenuel’s mind began to calm, despite the tears still streaming down his face. He looked up at Nathaniel, who had his own tears in his eyes as he kept a hand on his shoulder. The ribbons of light grew as Nathaniel continued to feed it power, the power that had to be strong enough for the both of them for now.
“You are a boy, asked to do an impossible task. I will not let you do that impossible task alone. And if I am to die, then I will have died saving a friend, and I cannot think of a more honorable end to my life here. I’m not afraid, and I do not want you to mourn me too long. I’ll be wrestling with Carlos again, and I’ll still watch my children grow up. I’ll be able to see their day-to-day activities, be there for every event. Something I can’t even do now. And they know I’ll be there, even if they can’t see me. I might even have the time to learn how to write poetry and send it to Rosa. That should give you some proper love letters,” Nathaniel said, looking up at Rosa and smiling.
Rosa gave a small shake of her head as a tear fell down her cheek. “Please send them. I will need a good laugh.”
Nathaniel chuckled, looking back at Indenuel, feeding the ribbons with more power. “You saved your village, even if they didn’t deserve it.”
“I… murdered,” Indenuel said.
“And confessed,” Nathaniel said. “You are doing what you can to make peace with your past. You’re a good man.” Nathaniel cut off the healing power and lead the remains of it to Indenuel’s chest. “With a good heart. And if we should all die in this battle, then we’ll know we did our best. We’ll find things to do in the next life.”
“Indenuel and I already plan on going to the Dengrian Islands,” Tolomon said.
“Oh, good choice. I’ll wait for Rosa to join before I go there. That way it’ll be a surprise for both of us,” Nathaniel said.
Rosa smiled. “Maybe I’ll go once the children are older. You can follow me there.”
Nathaniel reached out, gripping her hand. “That sounds wonderful, my love. But who knows? I might still come home without a scratch.”
“I doubt all these battles you’ve fought have caused no scratches,” Rosa said.
“Well, not scratches. Probably deeper cuts,” Tolomon said.
Rosa smiled as she looked down at her shoes. Nathaniel chuckled before focusing on Indenuel again. “Is there anything more you require of me?”
Indenuel stared at this man who would willingly die for him on the battlefield. Who calmed him with an advanced knowledge of healing power. He sensed Tolomon next to him, another man with the same convictions, who wasn’t strong enough in healing to do what Nathaniel did but had calmed him down all the same. The thought of facing five hundred soldiers had terrified him so much, but it wasn’t because of death. His death became more certain every day, and he thought it was his demise he was so afraid of. But with these two men beside him he realized what it was. The worst thing wouldn’t be dying in battle but surviving it after watching his two closest friends get slaughtered. He was terrified of going home without Tolomon and Nathaniel by his side. To take on the High Elders’ corruption by himself.
“If by some miracle I survive and you don’t, please… come visit me,” Indenuel said before turning to Tolomon. “You too.” His voice was shaking, in danger of cracking.
Nathaniel smiled. He then pulled out a dagger and cut off a piece of his shirt before dropping it in Indenuel’s hand. “I’m not a speaker to the dead, but this should be enough for someone as strong as you. A piece to reach out when you need me.”
Another torn piece of a shirt dropped into his hand. Tolomon had done the same. “Calling one of us should bring the both of us, but here’s mine just in case.”
Indenuel smiled and nodded, holding the pieces of shirt. “Thank you. I… I really…” He was at a loss for words. There was no way he could possibly describe how much this meant to him. Nathaniel smiled, then wrapped his arms around him once again.
Love. That was the word. A word that seemed to encompass this entire thing.
Nathaniel broke away before turning toward Rosa for a final kiss, then mounted his horse. He waved before spurring his horse into a trot, heading out the gates. Indenuel looked down at the torn pieces of shirt, feeling embarrassed at his outburst, but glad all the same. For the first time since he heard about the prophecy, he felt like things wouldn’t be nearly so daunting. He saw movement and looked up to see Rosa giving a stiff curtsey. “Good night, Tolomon.”
Tolomon bowed. “Good night, Rosa.”
There was a moment, one that must have lasted an eternity, but couldn’t be longer than a heartbeat or two. Tolomon was probably going to die, and Rosa clearly wanted to say something. A part of Tolomon’s past had come out at dinner, something that affected Rosa so much she left in tears. Rosa took a breath, about to say something, but stopped herself. They looked at each other longer than either one of them should have before she turned and headed inside. Tolomon stared ahead, refusing to watch her go, but waited until he heard the front door shut before he walked back to their carriage.