“Could you get me that water basin? Pour some in, enough for the bottom to fill,” Rosa asked.
Indenuel nodded, doing as she asked. She gave him a few more jobs, which he obeyed. Rosa was the only one talking, giving the quiet orders. Tolomon and Nathaniel both said nothing.
Rosa poured some tea into a teacup, handing it to Indenuel to give to Tolomon, who drained it quickly before handing it back. Rosa had him drink two more cups before she helped Nathaniel drink it. Indenuel had the job of mixing the powders together to make a paste.
Once Nathaniel drank his tea, Rosa checked on the paste. “This should both clean it and speed up the healing. Be gentle as you spread it over his back.”
Indenuel nodded, pausing to watch Rosa do it. She took some paste in her hand, then carefully spread it over Nathaniel’s back, or what was left of it. He stiffened, shoving his hand against his mouth. Indenuel turned away, doing the same to Tolomon. Despite the squirming Nathaniel was doing, Tolomon acted as though Indenuel was doing nothing more than spreading some lotion on his back.
“Does it hurt?” Indenuel asked.
“Yes,” was all Tolomon said.
He didn’t want to press it. He simply kept going, the paste mixing with the blood and getting on his hands.
The four of them were quiet. Almost eerily so. Nathaniel’s panting was the only sound.
Rosa finished placing the paste before standing up, going to her stack of supplies nearby and ruffling through them. Trying to hide the tears in her eyes. Indenuel saw, and he had a feeling if he saw, the other two also knew.
“Have you heard any news about Inessa?” Indenuel couldn’t help but ask. He needed to say something, and Inessa was always on his mind.
“Addy has been spending time with her. In fact, I think she spent the night over in one of your guest rooms,” Rosa said, her voice wavering.
“Oh, good,” Indenuel said. “I’m glad she has some company.”
“You have another day or two here, right?” Rosa asked.
“Yes. It’s Sabbath on the second day, so they’re keeping me another day before releasing me on the first day of the week,” Indenuel said.
Rosa got the bandages she needed before walking over to the water basin. “You caused quite the stir in the city.” Indenuel didn’t know what to say to that. Rosa poured the water into the basin before bringing it over carefully.
“I… I didn’t mean to cause Martin any harm,” Indenuel said.
“This sin has been festering for a long time,” Rosa said. “The thorn must be removed before it can heal properly. And twenty-five years is a long time to… to have secrets.” Rosa handed Indenuel some cloth before she soaked her own in the water. She didn’t wring it out too much before she placed it on Nathaniel’s back. Indenuel followed her lead.
“Give those a few moments, then we’ll clean it all off and I will leave again,” Rosa said. “Hungry, Indenuel?”
Indenuel glanced over at the sacks of food against the wall. “Um, sure. I could eat something.”
He got himself some food and munched on some carrots, aware of how loud carrots could be in a silent room of people. Rosa returned to Nathaniel’s side, carefully cleaning his face and arms from the blood that had gotten all over him before she sat against the wall, fiddling with her fingers as she stared at her dress. Nathaniel and Tolomon were silent. If he didn’t know any better, he would have thought they were both unconscious, lying on the ground. Not speaking a word. He was halfway through an orange when he saw Rosa reach out, touching Nathaniel’s fingers with her own. Nathaniel touched them back, rubbing his thumb over the tips of her fingers. He kept his eyes closed, his face twisted in pain. Indenuel felt horrible, not realizing the signs sooner. Their marriage was hurting.
“That should be long enough,” Rosa said as Indenuel finished his orange. He took his position again, watching Rosa as she gathered the cloth and as much of the paste as she could before emptying it back into the basin with the leftover paste. She grabbed a new cloth and washed the remaining paste off. Indenuel followed her example, getting as much of the crusted paste as he could before dropping it with Rosa’s. She handed him some new cloth, and Indenuel did his best to clean off Tolomon’s back. It still looked bad. The crisscrossing welts on his back looked awful and red, but far better than the open and exposed flesh. It was no longer bleeding, and the skin had grown back enough for the muscles to be concealed again. It honestly looked as though his back had gone through four months of healing.
Indenuel placed his cloth in the basin, the last of the paste cleaned away. Tolomon got up without a word, walking back to the farthest corner of the cell. Rosa watched him go for a moment before turning away.
“I’ve got new shirts here, too,” Rosa said, standing up and going to her supplies.
“Indenuel can give it to me,” Tolomon said.
“Hungry, Tolomon?” Rosa asked.
“No.”
She didn’t argue. She simply handed Indenuel a new shirt, and Indenuel walked over, handing it to him. Tolomon put it on, then turned around, facing the wall, his back to everyone.
“Are you certain you’re not hungry?” Indenuel asked.
“I’m certain,” Tolomon said.
There was something in his voice that Indenuel didn’t want to dig into. He moved back to Rosa and Nathaniel. Rosa helped ease him into a chair.
“I’m better,” Nathaniel said, not looking at her. “Thank you.”
Rosa handed him a large container of food and a fork before getting the water pitcher. She began cleaning the area quietly. Indenuel knelt down, offering his services and she had him washing the rags as best he could, wringing them out so she could put them in an empty sack. Indenuel nodded, getting to work.
It was quiet. There was nothing at all comfortable about this silence, and Indenuel was just happy to be doing something. Tolomon remained away, doing his best to pretend he wasn’t there. Nathaniel finished his food, getting up and using the wall to brace himself as he walked toward the sack of food before placing the container back. His steps were slow and staggered, but he was up and walking. It was so much better than when he first arrived. He leaned against the wall, looking out the window, facing Rosa and Indenuel.
“Rosa,” Nathaniel said.
She squeezed the rag out, laying it flat on the stone before doing the same to another one. “Yes, love?”
Nathaniel looked at her, bracing himself against the wall. “You need to tell Tolomon. Tell him what you told me.”
Rosa froze. She did nothing for a few moments, then looked up at Nathaniel. “No. I can’t.”
“He doesn’t believe me.”
Rosa’s face paled. “You told him? After I asked you not to?”
“I was—still am—in pain, and I let it slip. I’m sorry, truly, but I can’t keep lying to him every time I see him. He’s got to know. I would want to know if I was in his position,” Nathaniel said.
She looked away, letting out an unsteady breath. “Nathaniel…”
“He has the right to know you love him instead of me.”
Indenuel winced before he glanced at Rosa. She didn’t move for a heartbeat before she slowly stood, her eyes wide. “‘Instead of’?”
Nathaniel nodded. “He has a right to know.”
“My love,” she whispered. “There is no ‘instead of’. It is ‘as well as.’”
Nathaniel stared at her, the confusion playing across his face. “What?”
Rosa ventured a glance at Tolomon’s direction, who still remained in the corner. Rosa took a few steps forward. “My love… did you think I didn’t love you?”
“I-” Nathaniel looked perplexed. “You said you… I was just a friend…”
It was Rosa’s turn to look confused. “Yes, you are. You have always been my closest friend, and I always considered myself so lucky that my closest friend became my husband. I love you, Nathaniel. I love you deeply. We’ve had almost twenty beautiful years together. We have five children. My love for you has never been greater. I love you.”
Stolen from its rightful place, this narrative is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.
“But…” Nathaniel had his hand against the wall. “But Tolomon.”
“Yes,” Rosa said, tears in her eyes. “Yes. He is a dear friend as well, and I love him too.” She glanced at Tolomon, who wasn’t looking at her. “I love you both. I always have.”
Nathaniel stared at her. “What?”
Rosa touched her fingers to her cheeks, closing her eyes and letting out a breath. “I love you both. I thought my love for Tolomon would go away when I married you. It’s what my sister said. Choose the one you’d be most happy with. But I couldn’t choose. I loved you both equally. So I…”
“Flipped a coin,” Nathaniel finished. “You flipped a coin because…”
“Because I would have built a happy life with either one of you. And… and I was right, in a way. I have been so inexplicably happy with you. But my love for Tolomon never went away. I’ve had to stifle it. I’ve tried to kill it. But I can’t. It’s been twenty years, and I cannot stop loving him.”
Nathaniel continued to stare. “So… you do love me.”
Rosa grabbed his face as tenderly as she could and kissed him. Indenuel stared, surprised. The kiss had every inch of passion and love he expected of a kiss, including her being careful not to touch his back. Indenuel honestly had no idea they were going through a rough time in their marriage, and now he was trying to understand this new revelation. He looked at Tolomon, who still had his back to everyone.
Nathaniel broke away, placing his hand on her arm. “I don’t understand,” he said, breathless. “Why did you think… if you loved me, why did you… why did you agree to stop sleeping in the same room?”
“You… you were the one to suggest it. I thought you hated me,” Rosa said.
“Hated you? What? No, of course not. I’ve been… I’ve wanted you to be happy. I wanted you to be with who you loved, and I thought it was with Tolomon so I... I’ve been trying to figure out how to step aside so you could be with him. I could never hate you for something like this. Rosa, why would you think that?”
Rosa sighed, one that sounded pained. “I know what you think about the concubine law. I know how much you hate it. How every respectable citizen hates it. A man is only supposed to be with his wife, and a wife should remain loyal to her husband.” There were tears in her eyes. “I am what you hate, Nathaniel. What everyone hates.”
“Rosa, no,” Nathaniel said, touching her arm.
“It’s been twenty years. A good wife is supposed to be loyal to her husband. Never have drifting thoughts. Never want to be with another. And yet I do have those thoughts. Not because I love you any less, but because I didn’t expect to still love him too. It’s felt like a sin, loving two men like this. I’m no better than a hypocritical High Elder.”
“No, you’re not.” Nathaniel touched her face.
“This isn’t a friendship. Nathaniel, I am in love with him. When the concubine law was put into practice, I dreamed of what it could mean if it applied to me, and I…” She closed her eyes. “I finally felt at peace about the two of you. Then revulsion, because it’s… it’s an awful law of abuse, and I… clearly it means that I…” Tears fell down her cheeks.
Nathaniel held her face in her hands wiping the tears away. “I hate the concubine law because those young women have no choice. I hate it because so many of them must do repulsive acts to keep their family fed. If they didn’t have to, they wouldn’t. There has never been a moment where I believed those young women actually loved the High Elders, and I doubt very much what the High Elders do with those young women would ever be considered the wholesome relationship so many of us enjoy. I have never hated you, even during this situation. You have proven you are a woman who loves deeply. It has been an honor watching it manifest time and time again. I only wish you could use a pinch of that love for yourself.”
Rosa touched his arms. “A negative quality we both share, it seems.” There was confusion on Nathaniel’s face, and Rosa shook her head, touching his cheek. “You are always too quick to assume you are replaceable. You sacrifice far too much of yourself, putting yourself in too much danger, because you assume no one would miss you. It was far too easy for the devil to convince you that the only good quality you have is your noble titles. We both need to work on loving ourselves.”
Nathaniel touched her hand on his cheek. “I thought I was getting better at that. I’m… so sorry. You can have both of us if that’s what you’d really like. If that’s what Tolomon would like, too.” Rosa stared at him, the surprise evident on her face.
“I couldn’t… this is wrong,” Rosa said.
Nathaniel paused, the smile still on his face. “Perhaps I am just excited because, honestly, this turned out better than I could imagine.”
Rosa’s eyes were still wet. “Better?”
“Well, yeah. You love us both.” His smile widened. “It’s great.”
Rosa looked genuinely confused. “It doesn’t bother you that I might go to hell for these thoughts? That what you’re honestly suggesting between the three of us might…”
Nathaniel leaned against the wall ever so slightly, still looking exhausted, but far more at peace than Indenuel had seen him since he woke up. “There’s a firm line between heaven and hell. That much is clear. The High Elders preach about what does and does not qualify for heaven, but it’s still more of a guessing game than anyone wants to admit. So many people go to heaven that I’m honestly surprised end up there, and the same with hell. But if I had to guess, I know which place would have the quality of the deep love I’ve come to know from you.”
Rosa whimpered, covering her mouth to keep in a sob. Nathaniel carefully placed his arms around her as she finished letting her tears fall. He kissed the top of her head. “Twenty years, and it feels like I’m meeting you all over again.”
Rosa let out a laugh between the quiet cries. “Twenty years, and I have yet to make you angry at me.”
Nathaniel smiled. “It will never happen.” He let her go, sinking into the chair again. Rosa took his hand, concerned. Nathaniel rubbed his jaw. “But my point still stands. You should tell Tolomon. He’s a good man, and he should hear it from you.”
Rosa looked worried, then saw Tolomon who still had his back to everyone. She moved forward carefully, leaving Nathaniel on the chair to recover. Indenuel did his best to be the one to stay in the background.
“I’m sorry, Tolomon,” she whispered. “You have the right to know. I know I put you both through agony twenty years ago. I put myself through it too. I was in love with both of you. Deeply in love. Still am. I would have been as inexplicably happy with you as I have been with Nathaniel. I flipped a coin, and it told me to go with Nathaniel.” Rosa played with a lock of her hair, tears in her eyes as Tolomon refused to look at her. Refused to even turn around. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know how to explain myself. I was young. I honestly thought my feelings would go away. But they haven’t. I still love you. As… as deeply as I did on our walk through the city all those years ago.” Indenuel couldn’t even tell if Tolomon was overjoyed at this or deeply hurt. “If… if there had been a way. If I could have married both of you… I would have. In a heartbeat.”
“Understood,” Tolomon said, talking to the corner more than he was talking to her.
Rosa looked hurt by this. She nodded, turning around. “I understand you might need time. I… I won’t bring it up again if you don’t want me to.” She hesitated, looking like she was going to say something else, but lost her nerve. Tolomon still said nothing, facing the corner. “Do with that what you will.” She had tears in her eyes as she headed toward Nathaniel.
Indenuel stared at Tolomon, trying to figure out why he was being so quiet. Nathaniel looked shocked, but none of the anger Indenuel expected from someone whose wife proclaimed her love toward another man. In fact, Nathaniel looked as surprised as Indenuel felt that Tolomon hadn’t voiced his own words of love.
Rosa’s eyes were downcast as she headed back toward Nathaniel, but then she gasped and bent forward, stumbling just enough. Indenuel’s eyes widened. A piece of the broken teacup had somehow gotten all the way over there, and her foot in a flimsy silk shoe had found it.
Tolomon was already there, scooping her up in his arms and heading closer to Nathaniel. They didn’t even need to discuss it. Nathaniel stood up, slipped off her shoe, and placed his hand against her foot to heal the cut. Indenuel rushed over, finding the broken piece and gently picking it up before adding it with the others. Nathaniel hurried and grabbed a damp rag.
“Am I hurting your back?” Rosa asked at the same time Tolomon said, “How is your foot?”
Both paused long enough to understand the other person’s question. “It doesn’t hurt,” Tolomon said at the same time Rosa said, “Nathaniel got to it in time.”
They said nothing, staring at each other as Nathaniel returned, cleaning the blood.
“That should do it.” Nathaniel placed the shoe back on. “Are you going to be alright for a while with a torn shoe, my love?”
He glanced up to see Tolomon and Rosa still looking at each other, and a smile flickered across his face. Tolomon realized Nathaniel was watching them, and he eased Rosa back down. “Forgive me for touching your wife,” he said before moving away.
Nathaniel grabbed his arm to stop him from walking away. “Tolomon.”
“This changes nothing,” Tolomon said. “I respect the sanctity of your marriage. I would never, nor will I ever do anything to harm that.”
“And if I don’t care?” Nathaniel asked.
Tolomon turned his head ever so slightly, looking at Nathaniel. “You should.”
“I really don’t. Do you care that she loves us both?”
“Nathaniel-”
“If chance gave her to you instead of me? If this entire conversation was about me expressing my love for the first time instead of you?” Nathaniel asked. Tolomon hesitated long enough. “Do not break her heart. Don’t lie.”
Tolomon shook his head. “I cannot give High Elder Navir another reason to whip me. To castrate me. To hurt her.”
“Is that the only thing stopping you from telling me your true feelings right now?” Rosa asked. Tolomon didn’t answer. He easily broke out of Nathaniel’s grip and returned to his corner.
“She won’t get hurt just because you told her how you feel,” Nathaniel said.
Wait, yes, she would! Indenuel’s eyes widened. He felt like he was getting hit over the head by a branch. That was why Tolomon was acting so distant. He strode forward, pointing at Tolomon. “Tell them why.”
“I have.”
“No, you haven’t. Tell them why you are being so distant. Tell Rosa why they are forcing your hand. Tell Nathaniel.”
The unreadable features broke, and Tolomon’s face fell. “No. And you better not either.”
“This is the son of a High Elder. This is the woman you love. It’s so obvious even I picked up on it. They deserve to know the truth,” Indenuel said.
“Stop, Indenuel. I never should have told you, and I will never tell Rosa and Nathaniel.”
“You’ve told me you’re stuck, not sure how to end it.”
“Damn you, stop it,” Tolomon said, glancing at the door.
“I know you want to end this, and it would considerably weaken the High Elder’s hold over the country. We both need help, and I can think of no better person to go to but Nathaniel.”
There were distinct tears in Tolomon’s eyes that Indenuel could tell he wanted to hide. “Please, Indenuel. No one else should be trapped in my hell.”
“Let us help you get out of it. This needs to stop, and between the four of us, we will think of something. The war is over. They hurt you, but we can cripple them. We just need to tell Nathaniel and Rosa-”
“Shh!” Tolomon looked at the door with horror on his face. “Damn you, Indenuel, stop.”
“You honestly think Nathaniel and Rosa will just walk away after this conversation?” Indenuel asked.
“If I ask them to, yes,” Tolomon said.
Indenuel turned to see Nathaniel and Rosa standing there, holding hands with Rosa supporting Nathaniel as best she could, both watching with deep concern.
“Tolomon, you said so yourself. This needs to stop,” Indenuel said.
His bodyguard shook his head. “Indenuel, this isn’t…” He ran his hand through his short hair. “Shit, man, they will think I’m a monster. I can’t… I can’t tell them. Not after…”
Indenuel couldn’t help but smile. “Seriously? You think Nathaniel, who has forgiven me of everything I’ve done, will somehow not forgive you?”
Tolomon paused, then looked at Nathaniel, not bothering to hide the fear in his face. Nathaniel dropped Rosa’s hand and walked closer. “What’s wrong, my friend?”