Martin waited outside the door of Inessa’s room. There were servants cleaning up, since the women had stayed there as long as possible, trying to comfort Inessa. Ana, Rosa, Adosina, and Sara filed out quietly. Martin ignored them as they left, though he was certain Sara gave him a dark glare.
Martin rocked back and forth on his feet, trying to figure out how to get this done as quickly as possible. If she was still in her coma state, he could…
Bile rose up his throat again. He covered his mouth, swallowing. He stopped thinking about it, even though sleeping with her was mere moments away. He’d have to do it. And quickly. Then he’d make sure the female servants returned to make sure she didn’t try to kill herself.
The door opened and the female servants bowed to Martin. “The room is ready for you. Forgive us, it took longer than expected.”
“Is she in her nightclothes?” Martin asked.
The servant frowned. “No Martin. She’s still in her dress. Would you like us to get her ready for you?”
Martin winced before looking away. “Yes, please.”
The servants paused, exchanging looks before they reentered her room and shut the door. No one spoke in there. He almost believed she had just escaped. The poor girl had gone through a lot this past week, let alone the prospect of sleeping with Martin every day for many weeks. It would cause anyone to flee. But no, she wasn’t in the state of mind to flee. She was in the state to give up.
They simply needed to get through these first few times. It would be easier once they’d started this habit. For both of them.
Martin rubbed his forehead. He hadn’t been able to focus on meditation at all tonight. His thoughts were jumbled, chaotic, and angry. He was angry at Navir for forcing him to do this. For threatening to send Inessa over to Fadrique.
He’d already slept with Inessa before. A few times, now. She was always an obedient girl, never said anything, never did anything unless she was told. He could just keep doing it. Keep going until she was pregnant with his child. Inessa always just lied there quietly as he…
Martin gagged, leaning against the wall. He cleared his throat, closing his eyes, breathing deeply. It was so much easier to do this with the women on the third month of the year. Easiest being that Sara never knew. She would never find out. It was easier to sleep with the women and walk away, never seeing them or thinking about them again. Yes, he still hated it, but it was easier.
The door opened and the female servants bowed before heading down the hall. Martin waited in the stillness, almost willing Inessa to run away before he straightened and opened the door, entering the room.
Inessa was sitting at her desk, her head covered in her hands, not moving. She was in her nightclothes, her hair in a braid, making her look even more like a child. He could hardly hear her breathing. In fact, he was quiet enough to make sure she was.
Martin eased the door close, but Inessa made no reaction to it. He unclasped his High Elder robe and shrugged it off before he folded it carefully, placing it on the chair by the door. He slipped off his shoes and socks before he padded softly across the floor, closer to her. She still had her face covered in her arms. Martin had his arms folded, approaching her. She made no movement, did nothing to acknowledge he noticed her.
“I…” Martin started to say. His voice sounded so loud in the quiet room. “I hope you understand that… that if I don’t do this, Fadrique will.” Again, Inessa made no indication she had even heard. Martin swallowed before placing at gentle hand on her shoulder. “You understand, right?”
Slowly, ever so slowly, Inessa rose her head. She gazed at nothing, the dead look in her eyes still there, the numbness of her face not letting one emotion through. “I understand, sir. I will comply.”
Martin winced. Obedient Inessa was not telling him exactly what she thought. She was telling him what he wanted to hear.
He took her elbow and she rose. She had a simple bed robe on over her thin night clothes. He led her toward the bed. She stared, no reaction, nothing. She simply existed. He approached her side and let go of her elbow, waiting for her to climb into bed. It’s what she always did. Climbed in first. Turned away as he got undressed. Said nothing, did nothing as he did what he needed to. And then both of them acted like it never happened.
She didn’t move. She simply stared ahead with her dead eyes. Martin waited, but Inessa made no reaction. He took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. She wasn’t taking off her robe, she wasn’t climbing in bed, and he had absolutely no desire to do this for her.
He waited another moment or two as she simply stared ahead. He let out another breath, steading himself as he took the front of her bed robe and slipped it off her shoulders. He grabbed her elbow again, moving her toward the bed when she threw her hand out, bracing it against the wall.
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“Martin,” she said. “Wait.”
His heart stopped beating. “Please don’t fight. It will make this worse.” He tried to push her into bed. She wasn’t very strong, he could get her in bed if he needed to, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. “If I don’t, Fadrique will. Please, just get into bed.”
Inessa stumbled back, clutching at the string of her nightclothes. “Please.”
“It’s better if you don’t fight. We’ll get through this quickly and-”
“I don’t want a child,” she said, her voice rusty from not using it all day.
“You won’t get pregnant tonight. Your body isn’t ready. This is just a quick thing we must do to make sure you don’t go to Fadrique.”
“I don’t want a child ever,” Inessa said, continuing to back away.
The door was closed, but he didn’t want to chase her through the house. “This is one of the roles of being a concubine. You must have a child.”
Inessa’s chest started to heave, the emotionless, dead eyes coming to life with pure terror. “I’d be a horrible mother. I can’t. I simply can’t.”
He held the door closed. “Every woman thinks that.” He reached for her wrist, and she easily moved out of the way. Martin let go of the door, following her. “God will bless you for your sacrifice and make you a wonderful mother.”
“No!” The word was loud and shrill. “I don’t want to do this! Please, no!”
Martin grabbed her wrist, and she tried to pull it back, but he tightened his hold over her. “I don’t want to either, but it must be done.” She tugged at her arm, trying to free herself, but he tightened his grip. Her panicked breathing got in the way of her speaking as she began to cry. He pulled her toward the bed as she tugged at him, sobbing.
“I can’t!” Inessa screamed. “I can’t! Please don’t make me!”
“This is the only way,” Martin said, his voice louder to make it past her sobbing. “I’m sorry, but we’ve got to do this!” He grabbed her shoulders, forcing her toward the bed. With her hand free, Inessa scratched him hard across the face. Martin gasped, more out of surprise than from pain before Inessa punched him in the nose.
He backed away, hitting the desk as he gripped his nose, shocked. The mirror toppled to the ground, shattering as it hit the floor. Blood dripped between his fingers as Inessa collapsed in a heap on the floor, screaming. She clung to her night clothes, making sure they remained on her as she sobbed. Martin was on the ground with no real recollection of how he got there. He sat up, clutching his face as he saw movement. No, a swarm. The mirror lay shattered on the ground, showing a reflection of a thousand demons. There was another man, standing in the middle of the room according to the reflection of the mirror, smiling as he watched Inessa sob.
“Do you know how many demons watch you rape her every month?”
The man looked down at the shattered mirror, his black eyes looking right into Martin’s soul, and he knew exactly who was in this room because he saw that evil gaze before.
Martin gasped, backing away. Away from the shattered mirror, away from the girl sobbing in a heap. His back hit the wall and he turned, his hands trembling as he hastily took out his handkerchief, pressing it against his nose to keep the blood contained. He became aware of himself, curled to the wall, trying to calm the pure fear that had taken over. Aware of Inessa screaming and sobbing, bracing herself for whatever was to happen next, clinging to her night clothes to keep them on her.
“Please, let me die! I’d rather die than have a child!” She was a lump on the ground, trembling and sobbing. Martin had tears streaming down his own face, staring at the girl that was begging him not to rape her, and he realized exactly what he had become. It didn’t matter that he held one of the highest callings of the church. He was a monster.
Inessa sobbed louder still, her head curled into herself. Martin didn’t dare get up until he looked at the shattered mirror, saw the quiet room reflected in it. He got to his feet and headed toward her, staring at the girl who was younger than his daughter. He had no healing powers to calm her down.
He knelt beside her, placing a hand on her shoulder. Inessa jerked, desperately scooting away.
“Inessa, shh,” Martin said, moving his hand away. “Nothing is going to happen tonight. I swear.” She still clung to her night clothes, disbelief clear on her face. He did not blame her. “You’ve got to calm your breathing. Cover your mouth with your hand.” She did so, her hand trembling. “There you are. Calmer breaths.”
She tried. She was in a bad state, and he had to get her to calm down without touching her. He’d have to show her.
“Nothing is going to happen tonight,” he repeated, keeping the handkerchief at his nose. “I give you my word.”
Inessa’s breathing was still shallow. “Fadrique?”
“I will fight to keep you from going there. Understand? You are safe. Nothing will happen. I will lie to Navir if I must.”
She still had the disbelief in her eyes, still skittered away if he so much as moved a finger toward her. Martin kept his distance. “Nothing is going to happen tonight. I will not touch you if that is what you wish. I won’t… I won’t rape you ever again. I’m sorry.”
Inessa’s eyes widened. Martin closed his eyes, looking away, feeling deep shame he never experienced before. He took the handkerchief away from his nose, seeing the blood there, knowing he deserved worse. Inessa was still in a state of shock, and if he wasn’t focused, he could lose her. “I’m sorry.”
Inessa stilled, her eyes narrowed, still clutching at her nightclothes. She covered her mouth, fresh tears falling down her cheeks.
“I’m going to leave as soon as you’ve calmed down,” Martin said quietly. “There will be two servants in your room who will take care of anything you need.”
“What about High Elder Fadrique?” Inessa whispered. “What if the other High Elders find out? What if-”
“Let me worry about all that. I swear on my word as High Elder that no one will take you from this house while I am still alive.”
Inessa’s breathing threatened to turn erratic again. “Like… like how you promised in the… the trial…”
Martin placed the handkerchief at his nose again. “I was not strong enough to go up against them that time. But this will be different.”
“Different how?” Inessa asked.
“Because I won’t be alone. My daughters will make sure they do not touch you again,” Martin said. “Adosina knows every law in the land, and Rosa knows how to play pranks like no one I’ve ever seen. Ana did not marry the most unruly boy in all of Santollia without knowing a few tricks up her sleeves. And Sara.” Martin felt another stab of guilt and looked away. “You do not stand between her and who she loves. She will keep you here. I give you my word as…” Martin tried to think of something. “As Martin, father of Adosina, father through marriage of Ana and Rosa, and husband of Sara. You stay with them, and you will be alright.” Inessa nodded, still clutching her night clothes. “You are exhausted. You should sleep.”