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Return to Sender

I woke up the next morning, due to the sound of the morning bell, just to see Julian walking out the bathroom naked and a girl in a towel next to him.

Julian:"Morning Dorian. For a guy who supposed to be protecting me, you're a heavy sleeper."

My. Fucking. EYES!

Dorian:"Dude wrap a towel around yourself or something, by everything good in the world why?"

I will forever have his dong imprinted in my brain.

Julian:"Oh come on. We're roommates for the next few years, you should get used to it." He says as the girl behind him puts her clothes on and walks out the room.

Dorian:"Seeing your face and dong are the biggest morning wood killers ever. Put some fucking clothes on and get out of the way, I need to hit the head."

Dag then walks in the door and sees Julian in front of the bathroom naked, and looks down.

Dag:"I've seen bigger....."BURN!!

Julian then proceeds to go to his bunk and get his clothes from his suitcase and put them on.

Dorian:"Final- fuckin- ly, he puts on pants." I say as I get out of bed with as much pep in my step as a paraplegic war vet.

I hate mornings.

After 10- 15 minutes later I finished my morning routine and get ready to head to breakfast with Dag and Julian.

On the way down from the dorm we meet Antonio and head out to the mess hall.

Antonio:"Morning guys, last night was a hell of a sight, am I right?" He says with a smile on his face as we all sigh at the prose.

Dorian:"Really bro?"

Antonio starts laughing like he just heard Gabriel Iglesias for the first time.

Dorian:"I'm starting to think your Joker title is an ironic one."

At that Julian chuckles and Dag sighs.

On the way we meet the girls and even Greta was there.

Dorian:"Wait where is Hanz?"

Greta:"He's volunteering in the kitchen as a culinary assignment."

Dorian:"Guess I'll be tasting his cooking sooner than I thought." I say and go to kiss Lilith.

Lilith:"Good morning."

Dorian:"Its always good with you around." I say as I kiss her and Dag and Antonio make gagging sounds.

Dorian:"Wow Antonio, I didn't know you choke on dick too? I thought that was only Dag?" I say with a smirk and Dag blushes like a virgin on her wedding night.

Or in this case his.

Heh, Beatrice is blushing too.

Wait.... how can a slime blush?

Thia:"I do hope you're having a good thinking about what we discussed last night."

Oh god how could I forget. The polygamist talks.

Dorian:"Of course how could I forget. Its not like it was completely overshadowed by the fact that actual GODS came to harass me."

Dag:"Oh poor Dorian, he has to deal the machinations of powers greater than him. Oh boo hoo~."

You could be reading stolen content. Head to Royal Road for the genuine story.

Dorian:"Whoa Dag. All I said was a funny earlier. Its just a joke, not a dick, don't take it so hard."

Antonio:"BURN!!"

Ok Ashton kutcher, calm down now.

We finally make it to the mess hall and get in line for breakfast.

After we all grab our trays we start looking for an open table.

Sorta hard considering the place is filledwith more than 2 thousand people.

As we search we see Hanz waving with and open table.

Dorian:"Morning Hanz, I heard you helped make today's breakfast, I must say this looks great." I say while looking at my pancakes, bacon, loaded tater tots with cheese jalepeños and bacon bits.

In case you couldn't tell, I like bacon.

Hanz:"Yes in fact I did. I was the one who made the tots." He says as I put some in my mouth.

.........

...............

Dorian:"THIS IS GODLY!!" I say as tears come from my eyes.

It's like the God of cooking decided that Hanz was their chosen.

Dorian:"Dude you are a beast."

Lilith:"I don't know Dorian, I'm pretty sure with the way you're tearing into the food, you're the beast." She says with a knowing smile.

Dorian:"Wait till tonight and I'll show you a real beast." I say with a wink.

Julian:"Dude you're such a dork."

Antonio:"We should hurry and eat, class starts in an hour, if we don't we'll be stuck with the crowd."

At that we all eat and head to our respective homerooms, Hanz, Greta, Antonio, and Beatrice, behind me.

We enter class to see Ms. Helena there along with the Creepy 3, and the brunette and harpy there as well.

Helena:"Ah there you all are, I've already been filled in as to why Tabitha isn't here. She will still be in the infirmary. I'd prefer, Dorian, if you would not send anymore of my students to the hospital. I need a minimum of 5 students or they cancel my class." She says with a threatening undertone.

Dorian:"Yes Ms. Helena, I'll try to refrain from doing so. I may have acted out of hand. Then again, many would say I didn't act enough." I say as I sit down and see the brunette and harpy, glare at me and Beatrice who is with us.

Antonio:"Hey Beatrice, I think you got some admirers."

Greta:"Ignore those two, they're just mad cause their ticket to nobility is in the hospital. They're just some sycophants."

Why do I feel a strange source of irony in that statement........

Helena:" Alright today I will be teaching you all about proper rune carving. As you may have guessed, most magitech is created by infusing runes into either simple or complex machines. Now I know you all don't have your textbooks yet, but I do see you have some notebooks, be prepared to use them. Now proper rune carving can be used in a variety of ways and on a variety of materials. Depending on the materials you are using, the efficiency in which you channel mana into your runes will be affected. Such as how silver, ebony, ivory, and mithril are conductive towards large amounts of mana, while metals and alloys such as iron, steel, copper, and brass require more mana to be channelled."

As she continues her lesson, I continue to take notes and also write a note to Antonio.

Dorian:Hey dude, am I the only one who can see the tree in masks at the back of the room?

Antonio:There's no one there Dorian. Are you sure you didn't hit your head or something last night?

Shit, this is bad....

Dorian:No man. They were here yesterday when I first walked in. I tried to sense them using mana and ki, but it felt like there was an absence of both there. Like in those three was the death of all energy.

Antonio:Shit now you're freaking me out. I hope you're not pulling my leg.

He gives the note back to me, and as I try reply, I hear a voice say.

Brunette- bitch:"Ms. Helena, Dorian and Antonio are passing notes." She says with a sadistic smile.

Dis bitch.

Helena:"Oh really? Now what is so important that it has you ignoring my lecture?"

Dorian:"Well Ms.Helena, I havnt been ignoring your lecture, I've been taking down notes. Though if you want to read mine and Antonio's conversation, your more than free too, though it is something quite inane." I saw while projecting the Force into her mind to get her to gloss over it.

Force persuade has leveled up. Sly bastard.

Helena:"Fine, as long as you actually have paid attention and taken notes, I'll let you have your inane conversations."

Feeling content with herself, she goes back to the lecture as I loon back down at the paper.

"RETURN TO SENDER"

I feel a chill down my back and a Disturbance in the Force.

I look behind me and see all three masked figures staring right back.