As we then proceed to walk into the mess hall, i take in the sights and am left speechless.
Everyone is of what seems to be every phantasmagorical race from almost every mythology. From Kappas to Kitsunes, Dryads to Strigas, Giants to Jotùns, Arachnes to Scorpion people, Goblins to Ghouls, Vampires to Liches. Its a veritable buffet of phantasy. I had no idea there were this many races on this planet. There are even the cliche Elves, Dwarves, Demons, Angels, and Beastmen. Now im just waiting for a dragon in humaniod for to waltz in from the otherside of the room.
Lilith:" Oh we do have a dragon, hes the cook. You need to try his barbeque steak. Its to die for."
Dorian:"Well then lets go get some. I havnt eaten since the night before you guys kid- found me."
We then proceed to wait in line behind what im guessing is a slime person. Not gonna say monster cause its most likely sentient and that would be highly insensitive. I mean im in a room with creatures from my worlds mythological fantasies and theyre all just sitting around talking and eating. I even smell vodka coming from a group of trolls. Damn i need a drink.
While its illegal for someone under 21 to drink in America, im not in America. Plus ive always been of the mindset that, if youre old enough to vote on the future of your country, youre old enough to det drunk or smoke pot. I dont smoke though. Cancer and all that.
Ahh finally at the front. I like what i see.
Its basically a buffet table of food ive seen and heard of along with food that looks out of a sci-fi fantasy movie. I also see that barbeque steak Lilith mentioned.
As i grab food with reckless abandon, someone grabs my arm as i go for some bacon.
???:"I hope you plan on eating all that food instead of throwing it away when your full." Says a menacing deep voice.
I look uo and see a grim scaled face with horns sticking out of its forehead.
Dorian:"You dont have to worry about wasted food with me sir. I havnt eaten in three days and even if i did, id probably grab more, its unhealthy to eat too much after starving for so long after all."
The dragon man, im assuming, looks into my eyes while keeping ahold of me with his clawed hand. He looks to the plate that has enough food on it to be stacked 2 feet high. He then looks back to me and says,
???:"Leave some bacon for the others. Oh, and my name is Ionith, not sir. Im just a humble cook."
Dorian:"Nice to meet you. Also, thanks for the food." We both shake hands.
Aronithia:"Can you really eat all that?"
Dorian:"I can probably eat more. They dont call me the 'Skinniest Fat Kid' where i come from for no reason." I say as i go to sit down at a table. Lilith and the other 2 sit with me and we start eating.
About 5 minutes later ive already eaten my burger and fries and i finally cut into the steak when a big hand slams down on the table, and i mean big.
The guy who slams the table looks to be a giant and he has a particularly angry face on right now. What did someone take his food? Wasnt me. I have a feeling i know where this is going though. Might as well antagonize him.
Dorian:"Hey tiny. Why so angry? Did someone steal your baby bottle? I dont think this place has a nursing ward with extra. Does this place have one Lilith?" I say looking to her with a mischevious look in my eye. She looks back at me and she has the same glint.
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Lilith:"Why no it doesnt Dorian. Hey Brutus, how about you go back to your mother and get your baby milk from her."
Everyone around us seem to be trying to hold back there laughter. While Brutus on the other hand looks livid.
Dorian:"Alright. So what the fuck do you want Brutus, why you bothering me when im eating." I say as i put a peace of steak in my mouth knowing full well that he wants to try and go at the new guy, which needless to say, is me. "Damn thats some great steak. You were right Liith, this could cause a war in itself."
Brutus:"What are you doing eating with MY woman at MY table?"
Dorian:"Well whos your woman? I also dont see anyones name on this table." I say as i look around on the top, bottom, and benches of the table. Oh hes getting even angrier.
Brutus:"Lilith is my woman and i dont need to put my name on something to make it mine."
Lilith:"For the last time Brutus, im not your woman. Now leave me alone before i cut off your dick and feed it to you." I cringe a litte at that.
Brutus:"So whats it gonna be Dorian? You fight me for her or you give her to me."
Dorian:"Woah, woah, woah hold up a second. Are you so stupid that you dont understand the concept of no means no? She even threatened to turn you into a dick eating eunuch. Plus shes a grown ass woman, she can choose who she wants." I say this cause i know full well that a grown woman can make life choices. I grew up around three such women.
Brutus then proceeds to make one of the biggest mistakes of his life.
He threw my food on the ground.
....
......
He threw..
My food.
ON THE GROUND!!!
Dorian:"Alright now im pissed. Who the fuck you think you are, Lonely Island?" I say knowing full well that no one in this reality would understand the reference.*Sigh*
Dorian:"Imma kick your ass now."
Brutus then proceeds to spartan kick me across the room into the wall.
This is madness. You got hit for 80 hp. A few of your ribs are broken, you now have a 25% stamina reduction until then.
HOLY SHIT THAT HURTS!!!
I climb out of the wall using my blood manipulation to make sure i have no internal hemorraging and making sure i can properly walk.
Lilith:"Are you ok Dorian? You seem a bit pale?"
Dorian:"I find your lack of faith in me disturbing." I say in my best James Earl Jones impression. *Sighs* Still no one wil understand the reference.
Brutus:"What was that about you kicking my ass?" The giant says with a smirk.
Dorian:"You can just shut the fuck up you cliche ass motherfucker." I say as i focus my blood manipulation and the force around his neck, cutting of circulation and airflow.
You have learned the skill Foce Choke. Due to your previous insight for this power, its now at Novice level 80.
Ki-force synergy has leveled up.
Blood Manipulation has leveled up.
Force Manipulation has leveled up.
I then proceed to walk up to him and say,
Dorian:" You call that a Spartan kick? This is a spartan kick." I then reinforce my leg with my ki while useing the force to help my keep my balance as i spartan kick him in his nuts and yell,
Dorian:"THIS. IS. SPARTA!!!"
He goes flying into the other wall as i recieve some notifications.
You have learned the skill Ki Reinforcement. Due to your previous insight into this skill its at Novic level 5.
You have learned Force Reinforcement. Due to your previous insight its at Novice level 5.
Ki-Force synergy has leveled up.
You have gained the title:The Nutcracker.
You now hit other guys nuts so hard, both their ancestors and future descendants feel it. +25% more damage and pain inflicted through nutshots.
If youre wondering how i spartan kicked his nuts, its because hes a giant, my chest height was his nut height.
Dorian:"Take that you cliche bully. Also how dare you waste good food."
Ionith:"Yes, indeed. You wasted my hard work Brutus, prepare for the consequences." He then drags the helpless Brutus towards the kitchen. I dont feel bad whatsoever.
Dag"You okay Dorian? Your wheezing."
Dorian:"Ahh im fine. Ill figure out how to heal myself in a bit. Broken ribs hurt." I say while wheezing from the nearly collapsed ribbed cage.
I then proceed to use the force to move my ribs back into place and then use my ki to fuse the bones back together. Fuck it hurts.
Dorian:"AHH FUCK, WHY DID NO ONE WARN ME THAT RAPID HEALING HURTS SO MUCH!?!?!" I say as my bones go back into place.
You have gained the skill Ki-Force healing. You learned it at Novice level 0.
You have gained 1% pain resistance and plus 2 Vitality and Endurance.
Dorian:"Thats better. Fuck that hurt."
Lilith:"That's because you didn't use a healing spell. Rapid healing affects you differently depending on how you heal."
Dorian:"Anyway, how about you guys lead me to the barracks or rooms or whatever and we can discuss the upcoming mission."
We then leave the mess hall after i grab some biscuts with butter and go to find our rooms.