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Know Thy Enemy

Ill find out if Julian actually did have something to do with my summoning. I can only imagine what it would have been like to be summoned to the Empire.

It probably would have been one of those clichè moments where i get begged to save humanity from the 'evil' monster races that threaten them.

Knowing myself though, i would have probably told them that im not gonna fight the war for someone who kidnapped me. Especially not an Emperor or his Bishops. For all i would have known, they would have been lying as to who started the war and the reasons why. Turns out i wouldve been right. If anything I bet they would have enslaved me the moment I started asking questions.

Well im still fighting in the war, but at least im on the moral highground.

Says the guy who castrated a person with a torch and stabbed another in the taint with his own sword.

Hey motherfucker, i still had the moral highground, i castrated a rapist and stabbed a pompous noble prick after giving him clear warning that I would do so. The noble probably had some shady shit going on in the background and thats why he was so adamant about us not landing. I mean if you have someone very obviously not afraid of you and yelling and claiming to be of higher rank, you should be smart and check things the fuck out. Bitch thought he was untouchable, proved him wrong.

You scare me

Good.

And now im talking to the system. Were you just shy before system? I would very much appreciate any help you can give.

......

And again with the silence.

Lilith:"Babe i think youre losing it."

But you heard the other voice didnt you?

Lilith:"All i heard was your voice sweety."

Aww man. Fuck. I hope I'm not getting Dissociative identity disorder.

Why is it called that instead of Multiple Personality Disorder. I mean some people might not know what Dissociative means.

Anyway back to the meeting with Julian.

As we finish the intial greetings, we go back to the hotel with his luggage.

Dafuq is this dude carrying in this, enchanted weights?!?!?

Im dying.... the stairs.... stairs are evil.

Dag:"Thats just sad man."

Dorian:"Shut up Dag,*panting* im carrying the heaviest suitcase of the bunch, up three flights of stairs. Stairs are evil." I hate stairs.

We finally arrive at the third floor and go to Julians room. 

Enjoying this book? Seek out the original to ensure the author gets credit.

Never again.

Dorian:"So whats the plan from here on out Prince, very obviously we need to wait before the school year starts, but besides that there is nothing to do but train. How about we all get to know each other?" Know thy enemy and all that.

Lilith:'Dorian please.'

Fine, ill stop for now. If anything i should be happy about the situation. Im a spec ops for another reality's military and i have an amazingly smart and beautiful girlfriend who is very, very flexible. Did i mention she can kick ass? Not literally mind you, due to the no legs, but you get the meaning.

Aww shes blushing, makes me want to take away the rest of her innocence.

Dorian:*Laughs Evilly*

Shit everyone is looking at me.

Dorian:"Dont mind me, just remembering a really messed up joke. Its funny to me. Well its more of a series of one liners i hope to say in the moment when they seem appropriate."

Thia:"Well lets hear one."

Shit.

Dorian:"You cant spell slaughter without laughter." I dont think that helped the situation.

Lilith:"Ignoring Dorians slight psychopathy-"

Dorian:"hey im a sociopath."

Lilith:"- we should get to know each other. Ill start, im Lilith and i have CQC combat training and specialize in stealth situations. My favorite color is green, and i want a puppy."

Puppy...

Adorable. See now the machismo men among you must be like, "Did he seriously admit puppies are cute? Hes not manly!", well you know what i say to that? I dont give a fuck. A real man aint afraid of feelings and admiting something is cute. If i wanna cuddle with kittens, puppies, and honey badgers, ill fucking do it. HONEY BADGERS GIVE NO FUCKS!!!

Thia:"Well im Thia, i speciallize in melee weapons combat and am best for head on confrontation. I can use body enhancement magic and i like reading."

I still havnt found any good books in this reality. The ones Thia has are all of those romance novels that middle aged women like to read, the really dirty ones. An example i could give is 50 Shades of Grey.

Thia:"You just thought something rude didnt you Dorian." She states as a fact instead of a question.

Whyd you rat me out babe.

Lilith:"Because i read those books too."

Dorian:"Theyre cancerous though, if you are gonna read a book, it should have character development that doesnt take till the third book to finish. At most the main characters should finish developing at the first quarter of the second book. I get that some of Thias books are popular due to how unrealistic they are and how the man can change his ways, but there is just a point where its too much."

Lilith:"So your saying love isnt real?"That is a loaded question if ever there was one.

Dorian:"Im not saying love isnt real, im saying the situations in your dirty-mom books are unreal. What we have is real as far as i can tell, unless you think otherwise." You wanna play dirty, ill play dirty.

Lilith:"Ill show you playing dirty, tonight you take all of our watches." Now thats not cool. I like sleep. 

Dag:"Ignoring the lovers spat, im Dagothur. I specialize in demolitions and sabotage, im good for stealth operations and most combat situations besides spell slinging. I like art."

Man this sucks, i should learn when to shut the fuck up. Even when i win i lose.

I now realise what my mom meant by that. Damn women.

Dorian:"Im Dorian, i specialize in all around combat and situations. Stealth, demllitions, sabotage, military tactics, and head on combat. I mostly specialize in close combat, but put a gun in my hand, youll see the bodycount rise. I like reading, music, fighting, videogames, and cute animals."

Dag:"Whats a videogame?"

I cri ery tim..... T-T

Julian:"Well i specialize in political analysis and magecraft, i advocate for the rights of all and equality. I like horseback riding."

I soooo~ want to point out thag usually when someone says rights for all, they usually mean for themselves. 

IM SPEAKING TO YOU FOUNDING FATHERS!! Racist bastards.

Well now i know the basics about Julian, i just need to wait for him to open up about how his family is back at his home. 

Nothing like learning about the enemy but from its source.

Probably why he is our VIP. The intel we can gain on the Empire from him would be immense. At least regarding the personal lives of the Emperors family and the Bishops.

I think it was Sun Tzu who said something about keeping your friends close and your enemies closer, i forget. Again, its always good to know thy enemy.

Lilith:'Please just stop with the paranoia.'

Sorry.