*PING*

It wasn’t even an hour into my much needed sleep that I had multiple nightmares about the Void and it calling me and now I get a message. This was not my night.

I open my blurry eyes to focus on the screen before my eyes. As it came more and more into focus I could feel a heavy weight on my back. It was way too heavy to be Aria, but I need to see what the message says.

Title Gain

You have gained the title, ‘Chef God’

This title is honorary not giving you the powers of a god, but you have enough devotion from the masses to receive the title. This title grants total influence over chefs and cooks.

You have got to be kidding me. This was not a title I wanted. Well I guess I am still mortal. I wouldn’t want to be that kind of lame deity anyway.

With a sigh I use my senses to find out who was where. It appears that Ashley, with no particular outstanding traits, was hugging my left arm. Chloe, and her bright flaming crown, was on the outside right of me. Louise, and her small wings, was on the outside left of Ashley. And Aria, with her bushy tail, was between me and Chloe, hugging my right arm. All of them were under my wings, using them as blankets.

I wouldn’t have minded any of this, but… who was on my back? Since I was on my belly, I couldn’t turn my head to find out. I guess my shifting around finally woke whoever was on top of me.

Whoever they were, they stretched and got close to my ear, tickling it with their breath. Then an all too familiar voice whispered, “Where do you think you are going, my god?”

I began sweating bullets as I realized who it was, “Why are you here?”

“Oh, I watched you and your… party, leave my store. I realized that you all had so much fun; I wanted to be a part of it. So I followed you, and when I knew you were asleep, I snuck in the room. I waited for you to since my presence. Is it just you or all Void Demons dead to the world when they sleep?” Maddie questioned.

What is this maid clad psycho doing here? Ah, I give up, with a sigh, “What is your real objective?”

Maddie seemed to impose pondering before she spoke up, “I want to be your prophet, or at least your first priestess.”

I let out another sigh, “You do realize I am very mortal, right? Please understand.”

Maddie let her hands start idling stroking my feathers as she continued, “I know you have a mortal body, but I also know it is only a matter of time before you become the real deal. So I am going to stick to your side till you do.”

It would be a lie if I said I wasn’t curious about how she came to that conclusion but I just let it go. After I gave up, I felt sleep start to step into the ring with my consciousness. I look behind my shoulder at the smiling Maddie and say, “Do what you want, but your… god, wishes to go into a slumber. Please let me do so.” I could hear her giggle, but sleep performed the knockout punch on my consciousness.

…

We had all awoken a few hours later. There was a little bit of a stir about Maddie being there but it quickly calmed down. After eating breakfast, we set out for Dukedom of Caslor. As I recalled Caslor was at the center of the continent, located in Barren Mountain Range. 

The Dukedom itself was a series of cities and districts located in huge caverns found under the mountains. I’ve never been there, but it was definitely on the list to go to. As if caverns and mountains made it perfect for the rulers, the Duke was an Earth Demon; he goes by the name Duke Manfred Gravelmin.

We had just exited the Grand City of Starwind, and headed toward Caslor on the main road leading up to it.  This road had no name for the longest time, but around 50 years ago it had been given the name ‘The Circle’. It didn’t get the name because it was a huge circle, but because it passed through Drayasil, Caslor, Shienriech, Askines, and Raprana. Drayasil had a Void Demon Duke, Caslor had an Earth Demon Duke, Shienriech had an Air Demon Duke, Askines had a Fire Demon King, and Raprana had a Water Demon Duchess. It was a circle of the elements.

Walking down The Circle, we had quickly passed into Reslem, Shienriech. It had been the home of Louise and Aria for a while, as we walked onward, we had heard that a new Baron had been chosen. This Baron is the first human to have a fiefdom west of the Imperial Domain. His name is Oswald Frant. He won the contest I proposed to Duke Adolf. It wasn’t a contest of strength but a contest of wit. He was but a lowly commoner but now he and his family have moved into the Old Burnheart Manor. He seems trust worthy so, Adolf kept him.

From the idle chats we heard from passing by some commoners, Louise had said this was the most cheery she had ever seen Reslem. She also mentioned the count in charge of this place must have it easier without the Burnhearts around. I did a quick scan and I did notice that the commoners were indeed merry. The also appear to be setting up for a celebration of the new Baron’s Arrival.

Passing through Reslem, we made our way out of Shienriech. The border between Shienriech and Caslor happens to be the foot of the mountains leading to Caslor. It had been a full day when we hit the border so I called a halt to our small squad and told everyone to set up camp.

They all promptly sat on their butts as they let out moans of aching bodies. Well, I say all, but Aria was still standing in front of me, and Maddie was surveying the surrounding. You know it was kind of bizarre to see someone dressed like a maid scan the surroundings like a professional survivalist.

As Louis, Ashley, and Chloe rub their aching feet, I pull out the many blankets I took from the palace out of my Void Space. And spread them on the ground for everyone. I also removed some firewood, pots, pans, silverware, and various ingredients for food. After everyone had settle down around the fire, Chloe got up and approached me and said, “I’ll take care of this, My Darling. I mean, it is a wife’s duty after all.” The girls behind her seemed to be fired up by the invisible challenge.

Before everyone could protest, I said, “Ha, if you want, why don’t we have you all have a small contest of who can make the best dish? Maddie can cook, but you are not allowed to participate in the contest. You are a professional cook after all.”

If you spot this tale on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.

Maddie gave of a quick shrug as she grabbed some of the ingredients and made her own fire. All but Aria followed suit. I asked Aria out of pure curiosity, “Why aren’t you cooking?”

Aria shook her head while approaching closer to me, “I can’t cook; besides I was thinking… maybe… I could have some of yours?”

I take a quick glance at the three waging war against the stomach and at the Maid who was busy making her own creation. They all looked very busy, so I think I’ll start my own and they won’t even notice. I quickly move my gaze toward Aria, “Alright, give me a moment.”

…

Roughly Forty-Five minutes roll by when we all finished. I decided to make enough for everyone just in case one was… unsavory. I look at Aria’s excited face, and exclaim, “Finished! Now would like to have some?” It was received with a vigorous nodding and drooling. Just as I fixed a plate for her, three plates were shoved in my face.

I look up to see two proud Fire Demons and a determined human. Looking back down at the plates I almost couldn’t believe the smell. One plate had a very large block of wheat that was covered in chunky tomato sauce. Another had the noodles so boiled, it turned to paste, and also the sauce was almost watery; it was clearly soup. The last one looked like spaghetti, but it was the wrong color, the sauce was almost brown, and the noodles were black, from massive amounts of seasoning.

Looking up again I tried to plead mercy but the plates were pushed further toward me. Looks like no way out of this one. I accept each plate and set each one in front of me. Before I begin I look up at them and ask, “Did any of you taste these?”

They looked at each other then back at me and to my dismay they said in unison, “We wanted you to be the first to taste it.” Good intentions, smiling faces, a lovely atmosphere, and my death rapidly closing in. This sure is swell.

I grab the first plate and I notice Chloe starting to fidget. I cut into the huge… noodle? It was so weird to cut pasta like a giant thanksgiving ham. I put some of the chunky sauce on it and bring it up to my mouth to taste it. It quivered like Jell-O before I had it in my mouth. As soon as it hit my tongue, I could taste the overpowering taste of tomato. When I began chewing the slimy mess, I mimicked the pastas quivering. The texture was awful. I glanced at Chloe, who was smiling back. I gave a faint smile before moving on.

I grab the second plate and I can see Louise staring intently my way. I change to a spoon, and almost felt my face make a sour expression before I could control it. The taste wasn’t bad; it actually had the flavor of spaghetti. The thing is I don’t think spaghetti should be a soup. And the paste made my tongue flick away in my mouth. I did a very quick smile, and moved on. Seriously the quick smile was all I could muster up. I was starting to feel ill from these.

I grab the final plate and looked up see Ashley failing to make an indifferent look. I take my fork again and twist it into the noodles. As it approached my face my nose twitched and my eyes watered from the smell. I didn’t smell particularly bad; it’s just that a large amount of spices will do that to you. I quickly shove it in my face and almost gag in the process. The Noodles were covered in Black Pepper and the Sauce was covered in Oregano. The texture wasn’t bad at all for a first attempt, but the taste… the taste was the pure definition of dreadful. I gave Ashley the same smile I rendered the others.

I take my time before I speak, fearing I would gag. When I felt I was in control I spoke out, “This is so… good, that I want you guys to try your… masterpieces.” I barely manage to get it out but once I had the girls were all overjoyed.

Each one grabbed their plates and took hefty bites. As soon as the deed was done, their face lasted for a moment before they dropped to that of sheer disgust. Ashley even gagged.

Chloe spoke first, “This… this is absolutely… absolutely the best… thing I’ve ever… eaten.” It was almost hilarious seeing her try to speak that blatant lie.

Louise was next, “This is… delicious! So much so I want more!” Wow, you sure are determined to say it isn’t that bad.

When I turned to see Ashley, I see her face was pale and she was wiping her lips. Wait did you vomit? She whispered, “This… is... the… 

best. Hmph!” She covered her mouth very quickly. Oi, you don’t have to try so hard!

I let out a chuckle and hand them a plate of my own spaghetti. They then threw their creations over their shoulders before the dug in.

Chloe looked at me and spoke between bites, “I’m glad I don’t have to worry about eating the rest of that dreadful slop.” That poor creation.

Louise was scooping in the spaghetti as quick as she could, “Truly, the best.” No comment on your failure?

Ashley had forgone the fork and was eating it with her hands, if I didn’t know any better; I would say she was trying to wash out the flavor of creation with mine. Oi, slow down! You might choke!

I sigh at the sight of the princesses and I felt a small tug on my sleeve. Turning to my right I had Aria’s pleading eyes bearing into mine. I was about to question what she wanted, I saw her raise a plate from under my eyes. Ah, seconds.

Giving her another plate, I made my own. I got half way through my plate when I saw Maddie approach. Maddie had a square pan full a solid brown material that gave off the most pleasant of smells. Brownies. She came over and set a few of the brownies on each plate before munching on some herself.

“Do you want some spaghetti?” Ask as I scoff down the delicious brownie.

After a moment she gave a short reply, “I already ate some.”

What? “When?”

She took a bit longer before answering, “It was when you were testing your body against poison.” And you didn’t see it fit enough to save me? What kind of devote worshipper are you?

----------------------------------------

Sooo...

Don't you say a word.

...How was the 'poison'?

Why, I autta... HMPH?!

Watch it, you may blow chunks if this keeps up.

I think I'm gonna lie down.

Haha, don't fall asleep, you may never wake up.

Ugggh, that sounds nice right about now.