“What got you so confused?” Phisola asked.

“… did you just say that you’re a devil?”

“Yes. What? Do you have a hard time believing that?”

“And you also used plural. Are you saying there are more devils out there?”

“Isn’t that what a race is? A collective of many individuals who share a common ancestry?”

“So, there are more devils out there?”

“Sure. We aren’t that many, but I don’t see why you’d be so shocked to hear that.”

“It’s because there’s only one devil in the stories of my people.”

“You have a devil in your stories?”

“Yes, our most numerous religions have only one devil in their holy books. Well, besides Hinduism. There are over a billion Hindus in my world, but I don’t know much about it.”

“That number is how much?”

“Thousand times thousand times thousand.”

“Aha. And let me guess, that devil in your stories is blamed for all the hardships.”

“Well … it’s very strange, really. On the surface level, yes, he is the source of all evil. But if you start analyzing the stories with a critical mind, it gets very strange.”

She looked at him curiously, “How so?”

“It turns out that the devil speaks the truth on many occasions while the god lies.”

“Hah!” Phisola exclaimed loudly while smiling from ear to ear.

“For example, there is this story where humans still live in heaven, before we were expelled out of it. God told us that we can have anything but the fruits growing on the tree of knowledge. He told us that we would die if we ate that fruit. Then, one day, the devil came and told us that it was not true and that we wouldn’t die from it. So, we tasted some, and indeed, we were still alive, meaning that the devil told the truth while our own creator had lied to us.”

“Yeah, that’s what the gods are like. A bunch of self-righteous assholes.”

“Also, the stories claim that the devil is doing his best to make people go astray and do evil things. However, that’s just folk tales. It’s just stories. There’s no evidence to back up any of that.”

“It all depends on how you look at it. Is straying away from a lying god a bad thing?”

“Still, humans had everything in the paradise … according to that myth. Everything they wanted.”

“Clearly not since you went against your god.”

“You know, you shouldn’t take those stories seriously. As I’ve said, there’s no evidence even to suggest some of it is true. It’s just folklore. The point is that there are stories among my people that paint devils as evil.”

“Yeah, I know. You aren’t the only ones. Those idiots in Greadinall believe the same thing. And, ok, they did get fucked really hard. We did fuck them up. But they never talk about how it all came to be. They never talk about the precursor to everything.”

“I take it your people have some history with them?” Eric leaned back.

“Yes. We came through the portal they’ve summoned, just like you did. Long story short, everything went to hell, the entire continent went to shit, and we’re at odds with them ever since.”

“Sounds like an interesting history lesson.”

“It can be. But telling it to you right now would be pointless. We don’t know how long you’ll survive here, so telling you a lengthy story would be a waste of time. But if we manage to get out of here, I’ll gladly share it with you. But anyway, your people used to live in heaven?”

Eric dismissed the notion with a wave of hand and a stupid grin: “That’s just a silly story we have. We just wanted to feel special, so we made things up. We know better now.”

“You think so? I don’t think that story is silly at all.”

“Oh, come on! Do I look like a heavenly creature to you?” He pointed both hands at his chest, “Just look at me!”

“What do your people think heaven is?”

“Uhh ...” he started scratching his chin idly, “I guess it depends on the culture. But most of our cultures describe it as a place in the sky, above the clouds, where everything is perfect and everyone is immortal.”

“Why above the clouds?”

“I don’t know. A metaphor for ascension, I guess. I’m not a theologist. My knowledge of religions is slightly above average.”

“How are you a diplomat if you’re ignorant of your faith?”

If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it.

“Because we don’t put that much importance on it. It’s an individual thing, something people do in private. Besides, we have dozens of different religions in our countries, so if we’d put one above the rest, everyone else would be mad about it. Sure, we did have state religions in the past, but that just didn’t work. So we decided to simply ditch religions out of public life and make them a private thing.”

“Hmm … so you’re coming from a cosmopolitan empire?”

“Yeah. We have immigrants from all over the world. Well, our world.”

“Ah yes, I forgot about our talk from earlier. You look and sound so naïve that I’ve forgotten your motherland has some extremely conniving outlooks on life.”

“Says a devil.”

“Exactly. And the more you talk, the more I’m convinced my original assessment was right.”

“What assessment?”

“That you’re a demon.”

He recoiled with a frown in both surprise and offense, “… why would I be a demon?”

“First of all, you’re dumb and incompetent as one. But that’s true for many other mortals. The reason why I think you’re a demon has much more to do with your stories about your homeland. There’s no way someone like you, people like you, could create such an opportunistic empire. And I bet your stories have barely scratched the surface when it comes to it.”

“Who else would make it?”

“Someone much more intelligent and clever,” she lifted her long hair up before letting it fall theatrically, “Someone like me.”

“Someone like you. What? A devil?”

“Not a devil but the devils. Without devils, the demons are nothing. They’re savage like orks, constantly fighting each other. It takes a devil for them to do anything.”

“But what makes you think the devils created our Empire? Sure, our society is far from perfect, but we’re much more progressive than almost every other Empire you know. Hell, compared to the timkik Empire, we’re the Empire of saints!”

“Progressive … what kind of progress are you talking about?”

“Every kind! Technological, social …”

“What is social progress in your mind?”

“What do you mean what is social progress? Umm … it’s … making people more free, giving them more rights, giving them greater liberty …”

“How is that progress?”

“How is it not? It improves people’s quality of life! It helps create a more equal and more stable society! It allows people to unlock their potential and be as creative as possible, improving society as a whole!”

Phisola nodded with a satisfied smile: “That’s nice, that’s good. But here’s the thing. The things you’ve mentioned, the freedom, unlocking people’s potential … those are all devilish values.”

“What do you mean those are devilish values?”

“I’m saying that your Empire has the same values that my people have. We value freedom and prosperity, while godly people value safety and responsibility. Based on your words, I’d say that you’re much closer to me than to any timkik you’ve met.”

“No, that’s not true. I don’t enjoy abusing people and clubbing them in the head.”

“Because you never got to experience how amusing it is. It’s clear you’ve never held any real power. Or will you tell me how your rich people are good, are always looking out for the commoners, and would never take advantage of others or harm them for their benefit? I bet they’re a bunch of selfish, greedy jerks, aren’t they?”

“Wait, wait!” He made a stop gesture with his hand, “You’re making no sense now! You just said your devilish society is all about freedom and opportunity! How can the people who are supposed to represent those values be selfish and greedy?”

That made Phisola laugh out loud for quite a while.

Finally, she wiped a tear that had formed in the corner of her eye: “Your naivete really has no bounds! Tell me, how can they be selfish and greedy unless they have the freedom to do so?”

“What are you talking about now?”

“People can only be greedy if they’re allowed to be, idiot! Let’s say you have a greedy merchant who is selling his goods way above the profit margin …”

His jaw fell in surprise, “What the fuck? Those are some fancy words for someone coming from a medieval world. Do your people have a monetary theory?”

Those words made her glare daggers at him, “I’ll smash your fucking skull if you don’t stop acting as if your society is superior! You don’t get to come from a magicless world and then act all shocked when you hear civilized people talking!”

“No, I just … I never heard timkiks talk about the economy like that.”

“Because they’re all utter fools, like all the other races of Greadinall! They think the economy can be organized like religion. They don’t realize it’s a living thing.”

“Are you an economist?”

“I was until I made some serious coin. Anyway, let’s say you have a greedy merchant who is selling his goods way above the profit margin. In a free society, he is free to do so until some other merchant opens the stall with lower prices. It is freedom that allows him to be greedy. But in godly societies, where instead of freedom you have responsibility, his lord would have him hang for being such an ungodly person. And all his neighbors would cheer in front of his swinging corpse.”

“What is your point?”

“Would you rather live in a free or godly society?”

Eric’s brows furrowed skeptically. He eyed Phisola for a while before answering.

“Are you trying to lead me astray? To have me denounce god?”

She smiled slightly: “Usually, that’s what I’d try to do. But now I’m just asking a very simple question. Would you rather live with greedy people or have the authority punish them?”

“They don’t have to be punished with hanging. There are so many ways to stop greedy people from being greedy.”

“Oh really? Then tell me, how is your Empire punishing the greedy people if it wouldn’t hang a greedy merchant?”

“We don’t hang people.”

“How would you punish him then?”

“Hmm …” Eric got back to stroking his chin while looking at the floor, “Let me think for a bit … I never really thought about this …”

“Take your time. I’m waiting.”

“… hmm … I think they would just increase his taxes. I think our government would add extra taxes to those extra profits.”

She stared at him for some time while grinning excitedly before finally bursting into uncontrolled laughter.

“Ahahahah!!! Are you fucking serious?” She said while rolling on the floor and holding her stomach, “Ahahaha!!!”

“What? What’s the problem?”

“Oh my god,” she had to wipe several tears out of the corners of her eyes this time, “Your devils are really something! You’re a regular, dumb demon, but your devils are on a whole new level.”

“I’m not a demon!”

“Oh boy,” she took a deep breath to stop her laughter, “That’s just fucking perfect. Like, we didn’t even consider that possibility. Not only are the people suffering because they’re buying overpriced stuff, the merchants get fucked too! And the lords get to run away with all the money while all the blame is leveled at the merchants! Ahaha! That’s pure genius.”

“Wait, wait! Did I hear that wrong, or did you just say: oh my god?”

“Yes, I did. So?”

“But you said you’re a devil!”

“Yeah. So?”

“Wha … why … why would you say ‘oh my god’ if you’re a devil?”

“And what is a devil doing in heaven?”

He repeatedly shook his head left to right with a confused look on his face: “What?”

“You told me the story where your people used to be in heaven. And then a devil told them your god is lying. How come there’s a devil in heaven?”

That question caught Eric completely by surprise.

“I’m not expecting an answer on that one. I’m just letting you know that me worshiping a god is perfectly in line with a devil spending his time in heaven.”

“Wait … you, a devil, are worshiping a god?”