“But anyway,” Eric said, “you said you’re not a fighter.”

“I’m not,” Phisola responded.

“Are you absolutely sure?” He lowered his head to look her under the brows.

“Yes, darling, I’m quite confident I’m a mage and not a fighter,” she responded sarcastically.

“I’m asking because you fought like a real martial artist back there. You were so … calculated and precise.”

“Mages have to be calculated and precise if they want to cast advanced spells.”

“But are all the mages so fast and agile with their bodies? I think not.”

“I mean, sure, I’m nimbler than most,” she started playing with a lock of her hair, “but that doesn’t make me a fighter.”

“But aren’t mages supposed to be nerds? How did you get so agile? Did you have some special kind of training?”

“Hmm …” Phisola took her time picking the right words, “... if you’ve only been dealing with Greadinall mages, then I can understand why you’re so surprised. Yes, I bet those idiots can’t do a simple stretching exercise without their joints popping out. But I’m a cubus first. And a female cubus at that.”

“So?”

She looked at him sideways, “Don’t your people have some sort of … seductive dance?”

“Hmm … I’m not an expert on dancing, but we do have those. Several of them.”

“Ok, that should make it easier for you to understand. You see, every cubus clan has its own kind of dance. A tradition of sorts. And we take that tradition very seriously. First of all, it’s fun, then it’s also useful, and on top of it all, it’s a good exercise and helps you keep your body in shape. Now, of course, there are different kinds of these dances. Some clans will just shake their ass and call it a day, but my clan is much more … refined. Our dance takes some serious fitness to pull off.”

“Oh? Is it something like pole dancing?”

Phisola’s eyes went wide as she turned her head in a slow and dramatic manner. Even the club fell out of her hand: “How do you know about it?”

“Oh?” Now Eric’s eyes opened wide too, “It is?”

“Ok, ok, let’s not get ahead of ourselves,” she stopped walking, turning to face him with her body, “First of all, tell me what you mean by pole dancing. Maybe we have different standards.”

“There’s a … pole?” Eric gesticulated as if he was about to grab an invisible pole in front of him, “And a girl dances around it.”

“Ok, but … what does the dance look like?”

“Well, it … depends, I guess?” She easily noticed that the topic made him uncomfortable for some reason, “It depends on the dancer’s skill. Some will just twist and turn around it, while others are so proficient with it that they will do all kinds of gymnastics on it. Lifting themselves up, hanging on it, turning upside-down … all kinds of crazy things.”

“Huh …” Phisola stared at him for a few moments without saying much, “well, isn’t that funny …”

“What?”

“Yes, that’s … that’s what pole dancing is. So I take it your clan is doing it too?”

“Well, not in public! It’s done in … very specific establishments.”

“Ah, but yes, why am I not surprised!” She threw her free hand up in the air, the other still holding the leg of the elf’s corpse, “If there’s one thing I learned about your people, it’s that you have some serious issues accepting your nature. I wouldn’t be surprised if you’d tell me that pole dancing is only done in the brothels.”

“Well …”

“Are you fucking serious!” She stared him hard in the eyes, “It’s just a dance!”

“It’s more … than a dance. You don’t do it for just anyone.”

“It’s a dance!!!”

“Oh really? Does that mean you’d pole-dance for anyone? Didn’t you say it’s a seductive dance? So, doesn’t that mean it’s only meant for those you’re interested in?”

“No, you idiot! It’s seductive, yes, but why wouldn’t you try to seduce and impress everyone? There’s nothing wrong with showing off, regardless of whether you’re interested in someone or not!”

“Doesn’t that cause some serious confusion? Mixed messages and all that.”

“Hey, it’s not my fault if some idiots don’t know their place and get their hopes up! Socially aware people know who they have chances with and who is completely out of their reach.”

If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation.

“Ufff …” Eric huffed loudly, “look, I don’t care. I’m not going to argue about a dance. I was wondering where you got those sleek moves and fast reflexes. Are you going to tell me that’s a result of pole dancing?”

“And why wouldn’t it be?”

Eric’s brow rose sceptically: “Really? I mean, sure, advanced pole dancing takes some serious fitness and skill, but it doesn’t teach you reflexes.”

“But it does. The pole gets slippery after a while, and you start losing your grip. And when you do, you need quick reflexes if you don’t want to kiss the floor.”

Surprised by the answer, he paused for a while, “Are you trying to tell me that you became a good fighter because you like pole dancing? Do you even realize how stupid that sounds?”

“No,” she smacked the top of his head playfully, “I’m a good fighter because I’m a devil! Then comes pole dancing.”

“Ah … that makes much more sense,” he did his best to sound as sarcastic as possible.

“Devils are above you mortal rabble, so even one as untrained as me is extremely dangerous. We don’t even have to be properly trained.”

“Yes, dancing is all you need to become a badass ass-kicker.”

“You know,” she said while grabbing him around the shoulder as they started walking again, “if you want to kick ass like me, then how about I teach you?”

“Oh? You know some moves that you can teach me?”

“Sure I do! Pole dancing is for everyone!”

“That’s … I was thinking about something more practical.”

“It’s practical, don’t you worry! It will teach you how to balance yourself properly, how to move and think quickly. How to use momentum …”

“I think my body is too old for that. I’d probably get myself hurt in the process.”

“It wouldn’t hurt to try, though.”

“But do you have a pole back in the lair? I don’t remember seeing one.”

“Hmm …”

“You’re really passionate about it, aren’t you? About pole dancing.”

“I didn’t dance in such a long time. I’m kinda … feeling nostalgic about it …”

“I would like to see you dance, though.”

“I bet you would. But you don’t need any seducing.”

“Still, you like dancing, and I like watching. It’s a win-win situation.”

“You know what? Find me a pole, and maybe I’ll feel grateful enough to show you a thing or two.”

“And let me guess, it has to be a real, refined pole.”

“Of course! Did you really think I’d settle for some crooked stick? It has to be straight and smooth, perfectly smooth. I’m not risking any splinters.”

“Ok, fair enough. Hmm … could adventurers have some?”

“Why would they need a pole here?”

“I don’t know, maybe to set up a tent or something?”

“A tent?” Phisola’s mouth twisted into a sarcastic smile, “Why would they need a tent? To protect them from rain?”

“Well, a tent can do much more …”

“Like what?”

“Like … give you some privacy. We fought both male and female adventurers just a few minutes ago. Something tells me female ones would want some privacy when camping.”

“Privacy?” Her smile turned into a frown, “Do you really think privacy is anyone’s concern down here?”

“Well, they can’t always be in their armor, now can they? They need to take a break from time to time, to regain stamina and all that. They need to cook, to eat. Sure, someone needs to stand guard, but something tells me the adventurers aren’t in their armor all day long.”

“So?”

“So why wouldn’t a female adventurer want some privacy when changing?”

“I don’t know. Maybe because they don’t want to get fucking killed.”

“Yeah, but there are adventurers everywhere in the camp! If something attacks, the other adventurers will raise an alarm!”

“Do you really think that no adventurer died in a camp?”

“I bet some of them did, but not because they wanted some privacy while getting out of their armor.”

“Oh my god!” Phisola said while facepalming hard, “Do you even realize how … no, of course you don’t. You wouldn’t be saying that if you knew how stupid it sounds. Now, look at me,” she pointed at her eyes with her finger, “Female adventurers come here to kill and be killed. They come here to fight and die, as you’ve seen it yourself. Even when that elf had a chance to flee, she chose to fight. Meaning that female adventurers aren’t afraid of dying.”

She made a dramatic pause before continuing: “Do you really think that someone who came here to die would be embarrassed if someone would see them naked for a few moments? Do you really think female adventurers are losing their sleep over someone seeing them naked?”

Eric started scratching the back of his neck idly: “Well … when you put it like that …”

“I realize your people are scared of their sexuality for some reason, but normal people don’t prioritize privacy over personal safety, or the safety of the entire group. Adventurers are the safest when they’re all close to each other. That’s the best way to protect priests, healers, and mages. They form a circle around them, so ranged attacks can’t hit them. And it also gives cover to archers to shoot from.”

“What if some spell hits them while they’re bunched up?”

“That’s what mages are for. Some mages throw spells at the enemy, while others keep the barriers up. The point is that you don’t want to lose sight of any of your partners in this labyrinth, not even for a second. And that’s why the adventurers are always tight, even when it’s inconvenient. Hell, that’s exactly why most young people, both male and female, want to try their hand at adventuring! They want to see some boobs and some dick!”

“Aren’t there better ways to …”

“Yes, there are, but you need to pay for other ways while the adventuring pays you.”

“What happened with: I’ll show you mine if you show me yours? Why is that not an option in this world?”

“That’s certainly a norm where I come from, but these people are stupid and repressed. You can’t just walk up to someone and say ‘hey, show me your dick’ in their society. That gives you a bad name.”

“But paying for it doesn’t?”

“No, because those who offer such services understand their business depends on secrecy. Meanwhile, if you ask nicely, some jerk may rat you out, and then you’ll have the whole village laughing at you and treating you as a pariah, all because you were interested in a perfectly natural thing.”

“That’s why you don’t walk up to random strangers with such a proposition.”

“Do you really think these people date like us cubus do?”

“What do you mean?”

“Cubus societies accept people’s natural needs. Dating is not just acceptable in our societies, it is the norm. It’s those who don’t date that get laughed at. But other societies aren’t so accepting. In most societies, you can’t just walk up to your dad and say: hey, Dad, this is the guy who’s fucking me. That’s not how it works.”

“Well, you don’t have to put it like that …”

“But that’s what it is! Other societies don’t date, my friend. They arrange marriages, and not based on love but on interest. Which is why risking their life in a dungeon is one of few ways for young people to experience some romance before they get married.”

“That’s fucked up.”

“Yes it is. But that’s how things are. Oh, fuck! I almost forgot my club!”