Two days passed, with Eric doing nothing but resting and recovering from his wounds.
“You know,” he said to Phisola as she handed him his meal, “I’ve been thinking about something. And I know you’ll dismiss it immediately, but please hear me out.”
“Why are you asking if you know I’ll dismiss it?”
“Because I’m desperate. Far more than you are.”
“Hmm … “ she looked at him quizzically for a few moments, “Ok, I’ll listen.”
“I know what you think of adventurers. And what happened to me proved you right. I’m not questioning any of that.”
“Ohh, for …” realizing what he was going for, she couldn’t help but roll her entire head instead of just her eyes.
“Buuut … hear me out. Now I know they shoot first and ask questions later, but we also know they can be reasoned with.”
“Only after they fill you with arrows.”
“Think about it. It’s rather obvious but think about it. Why are they here? They aren’t here to waste their arrows on a lousy human. They got far more important things to do, and something tells me they can’t make arrows down here.”
“Actually, they can. Some of them …”
Eric lifted his hand in front of her to stop her: “The point is, we are not their target. They’re going after the real boss … I mean the guardian. They want riches.”
“So?”
“So … I know you’re against it, but why can’t we cooperate with the adventurers?”
“Because they’ve already killed you once, idiot.”
“I know, I know, and I understand your point. You’re being rational here, and I’m the one with … quirky ideas. But please, hear me out. They shot me full of arrows because I had no idea they were there. A lone human like me is easy prey for those professional killers. But you can sense them, and some of them can sense you. And something tells me they’ll do everything they can to avoid a confrontation with you.”
“What do we even have to gain from them, besides their blood?” She asked impatiently.
“We can get guardian’s blood.”
“Guardian’s blood?” There was a heavy hint of mockery in her voice.
“Hear me out …”
“I am hearing you out.”
“They came here to kill the guardian and take the gold, right?”
“They came to try and kill a guardian. There’s a good chance they’ll fail.”
“And that’s where we come in. Well … to be honest, that’s where you come in. You can help them kill the guardian. Maybe its skills are made to counter yours, but don’t tell me you wouldn’t drastically increase their chances of success.”
“Do you really think that pig would ever cooperate with a devil? The first thing that comes to his mind will be that it’s some ploy I came up with to trick them. Even if the rest of your plan would make sense, and that’s a huge if … even in that case, there is no way they’d trust me enough to let me fight by their side. Here, one simple example: how would you prove I’m not in league with the guardian? How would they know I’m not setting them up? Hell, how do they know I’m not the guardian and am leading them straight into a trap? After all, devils are famous for their cunning plans, aren’t they?”
“I’m not saying they’ll trust you, because they won’t, but that’s where I come in. I’m a diplomat, remember? I may be useless when fighting, I can’t do any magic, nor can I cook you a decent meal, but bridging the gaps between people is my sole reason for living. That’s my trade. If we could get them to listen to what I have to say, I’m certain we could reach an understanding.”
This story has been stolen from Royal Road. If you read it on Amazon, please report it
“That’s a huge if. You’re more likely to …”
“End up with more arrows in my chest, I know. You made your point, and I admit that you’re right. But they wouldn’t dare shoot arrows at you. That pig knows how dangerous you are, and I bet he doesn’t want to fight you. Hell, they ran away as soon as they noticed you coming! And if you two can sense each other somehow, he will know better than to let his friends shoot arrows at us.”
“If we get close to them, the arrows will be the least of our concerns.”
“We don’t have to straight up walk up to them. Or, at least, you don’t have to.”
“Why the emphasis?”
“I’m a diplomat. Putting my life in danger for the sake of peace is what I do. You can let them know we’re here, and then I’ll walk up to them and talk.”
“They will shoot you as soon as they see you, retard.”
“They won’t dare hurt me so easily, not with you behind me. They will hesitate, and that will give me enough time to open communication with them. With that pig, at least.”
Phisola stared him sternly in the eyes for a while before continuing: “Do you know why I didn’t flat-out refuse this proposal yet?”
“Because you see some merit in it?”
“No, it’s because we’re in an extremely desperate situation right now. The blood is gone, we’re back at the beginning, and even though I don’t want you to die, I realize I’ve only bought us a few decades. And I don’t want to spend a decade or two nursing your old ass while you’re dying from old age right in front of me.”
“And I agree. I appreciate you bringing me back, and I don’t think I’ll ever be able to repay what you did for me, but I realize the same thing that you do. We’re now short on both time and blood. We need a miracle if we’re to get out of this together. And while you could take it easy and get out after a few centuries, something tells me you aren’t looking forward to centuries of rodent harvesting.”
She closed her eyes with a grimace of disgust on her face: “Honestly, I think I’m starting to go mad in this place. The fact that I wasted all that precious blood to save your sorry ass is proof of that.”
“I’m just offering a logical plan of escape. Are there risks, sure. But does it have a chance of success, yes it does. Is it offering me a greater chance of survival than just harvesting blood slowly and waiting for a miracle to happen, absolutely. It’s not a perfect plan, but I’m fucked anyway. Once again, I appreciate what you did for me, and I understand what all that blood you spent on me means to you, but maybe the best way to repay you for it is to bring you back home as soon as possible. And that means reaching an agreement with the adventurers.”
“Do you really think you can reason with them? If they’re willing to listen to you at all in the first place.”
“They’re people, Phisola. They want to leave this place alive as much as we do.”
“But you’re a devil’s servant in their eyes. They have every reason to distrust you.”
“Yeah, well, I was considered a devil’s servant before I got here too, yet I still got some things done. I’ve negotiated with people who perceived my country as morally bankrupt, deceitful, aggressive, and evil, yet we would still strike a deal in the end. It’s all about giving people what they want, and if it will serve his agenda, even a cleric will make a deal with the devil.”
“Have you negotiated with clerics before?”
“Yes, I have. Several times. I worked with clerics who didn’t like me one bit in the beginning. But the more you …”
Phisola’s laughter interrupted him.
“What’s so funny?”
“It’s just,” she shook her head in disbelief, “your lack of self-awareness, that’s all. Clerics hate your guts and hate your country, but that can’t be because you’re a demon.”
“Everyone we don’t like is a demon, period. Demonizing those we’re at odds with is the oldest trick in the book.”
“Ok, ok, I’m not interested in arguing right now. I just found it funny, that’s all.”
“Well, those clerics are the ones who chose to worship a death cult, not me! They are the ones who believe that life is all about sacrifice and suffering, but when you die it will be fucking awesome! The fact that such people dislike me only works against your claim.”
“Ah yes, spoken like a true demon. But let’s get back to the topic. Do you really think you can talk some sense into those adventurers?”
“It certainly doesn’t hurt to try! I don’t know if I’ll gain enough of their trust to work hand-in-hand with them, but I’m certain I can get them to at least listen to what I have to say.”
Phisola eyed him for some time before stretching her arms up in the air: “Oh well … I hate admitting this, but you did manage to win me over. The shit you’ve been pulling with me … honestly, it’s fascinating that I didn’t straight out murder you yet. Most people wouldn’t get away with a tiny fraction of what you did, and yet, despite it all, not only did you get away with it, but I got so used to your presence that I chose to sacrifice all that blood just to bring you back. And it’s not because you’re hot, funny, great in bed, or whatever. I just … I don’t know … I can’t explain it really. Maybe I’m just too starved of people’s company to the point that I’m willing to let it all slide. But I’d be lying if I’d say I didn’t find you endearing for some strange reason.”
“Wow, wow, wow, what’s going on?” He raised his hands in playful defense with a wide smile, “What’s with this praise you’re giving me out of the blue? Are you ok?”
“I have no issues being honest with myself, that’s all. I have no choice but to realize that I care about you very much. There’s no other explanation for why I’d waste all that blood on you. So I’m thinking … who knows? If you managed to win this badass devil over, a creature famous for tricking and conning everyone else, if you could get such a creature on your side, then who knows? Maybe you’ll even be able to get the adventurers on board.”
“So … are you ok with us trying to communicate with them?”
“I’m very pessimistic about it, but I’ll let you give it a try. For once, I’m going to trust you.”