”Yeap, this is a cave for sure. It’s just …”

“… how come it’s not pitch-dark in here? I don’t see any light coming from the outside. I’m not complaining, it’s just …”

“… wait, let me swipe …”

He ran his hand on the wall. It was surprisingly pleasant to the touch, like a hard sponge.

“… ah!” He exclaimed out loud as he noticed a thin layer of dark blue, purplish dust sticking to his fingers.

“So this … is this dust? Some kind of magical dust, perhaps? Or is it more like some tiny plant-like life form?”

“Whatever it is, I’m glad it’s glowing. Just enough to barely illuminate the cave, but that’s good enough. And while we’re at it …”

Taking a seat on a nearby rock, Eric continued with his musing:

“… how come it’s not cold in here? I’ve been in caves before, and it’s supposed to be cold there. So how come this one has room temperature?”

“Is this maybe someone’s home? Am I intruding, or maybe … have I been kidnapped somehow?”

“That would make perfect sense because I was in an embassy one moment, and in the next one, I’m here. Looks like some magical abduction to me. But then, why is there nobody here to take me prisoner?”

“Maybe there was some … miscalculation? Why else would I be all alone in here?”

“Unless … it’s not actually abduction but an assassination. As far as everyone else knows, I’m a high-ranking human diplomat.”

“Hmm … timkiks wouldn’t harm me … we’re on good terms with them. It has to be some of their enemies they’re at war with. Maybe elves? They’re supposed to be good with magic, so there’s a possibility they could pull it off. But still … in the middle of our base … that’s bad news, for sure.”

He leaned against the wall.

“God, I wish I could see the look on Ira’s face as he’s watching me disappear into thin air right in front of the cameras. But I have much more pressing concerns right now.”

“Honestly, considering the situation, I’m surprised with how calm I am. I just hope there are no bears or wolves in here …”

“… or something even worse. Apparently, some of the caves are full of riches in this world, and some people are making their living just by exploring them. But all those riches are guarded by monsters …”

“… why the fuck would monsters guard riches? What use do they have for any of it? Are they picking their teeth with gold coins or something?”

“Still,” Eric said out loud while standing up, “I guess I should try looking for some weapon, just in case. Getting teleported only to become someone’s dinner would suck balls.”

“So … there’s a trail in front of me, and another one behind me … which one do I choose …”

“… the one going up, naturally.”

---

“Motherfucker … well, this is just fucking great!” Eric grumbled to himself as he walked on.

“I’ve been at it for what … let me check … yeah, half an hour now. And not only did I find absolutely nothing, the trail is going down now!”

“I was hoping for a straight way out, but I’m clearly not so lucky.”

A case of literary theft: this tale is not rightfully on Amazon; if you see it, report the violation.

“What am I going to eat if nobody finds me? And I’m certain my transponder isn’t working down here. God only knows how deep I am. Maybe I’m not even that far from the embassy, but they can’t find me as long as I’m underground.”

“Great … some more descent …”

“Is that … it sounds like there’s some water running down there. Forget the food, I’ll die out of thirst much sooner.”

“And how come there are no bugs in here? There should be some bugs underground. I’m not looking forward to eating them, but even bugs are better than nothing. Unfortunately, it looks like not even that is an option.”

“Oh look, a clearing. In a cave. Please god, I know you aren’t real, but please don’t let something eat me down here.”

“Hmm … looks pretty much empty … although …”

“Yeap … that’s a campfire for sure. An old one, but still, someone was here before me.”

“Well, at least the campfire hints at people. Rocks arranged in a circle with some debris in it … but …”

“How … how didn’t … if this is what it looks like, then how did they manage to get the smoke out?”

“Wait!”

“Smoke … rises …”

“… and I’m not gasping for air here, which means there’s enough oxygen …”

“… soo … there has to be a hole leading outside somewhere around here! There has to be a place for the oxygen to come in and for the smoke to come out!”

“And if I light a fire, I can see where the smoke is going! That will lead me to the surface!”

He started rummaging through his pockets and quickly found a simple plastic lighter in one of them.

“Ok, that’s great, but where can I find wood for the fire? How the fuck can I find wood in a cave?”

“Oh well … I guess I can always burn some of my clothes. I don’t need this fancy blazer in a cave anyway. It looks like I’ll be making the most expensive campfire ever.”

“But hey, I’ve only started exploring, and I found a water source in under an hour. That’s a stream, all right. I just hope it’s safe to drink. The last thing I need in this place is diarrhea.”

“Speaking of which, what will I use instead of toilet paper?”

“… hmm …”

“… yeah, I definitely need to find some plants somehow.”

-----

“Well … this is convenient as fuck,” Eric’s eyes widened in disbelief once he realized what he was looking at.

“So, on one end of the trail, I have a clearing with a stream, and on the other end, there’s a much larger clearing with a … what is this, some kind of a miniature forest? The trees aren’t as big as the ones on the surface, but still … and I can already see two corridors leading somewhere else.”

“This is awfully convenient ... it’s too good to be true. It’s almost like a tutorial level in one of those games my cousin loves playing so much. Almost makes me wish I had more time to play those games with him.”

“So … if there’s a tutorial, does that mean there will also be bosses? Am I in some kind of a reality TV show here? Not only did I get abducted, but I also got all the necessities I would need to survive. Look, there’s dry wood for the campfire, there’s some fine wood that’s useful for making tools, there’s plenty of moss to start the fire with …”

“… and is this … are these some kind of berries? Looks like it. I’ll get a few and put them in my pockets for when I’m hungry.”

“So, water … check, fire … check, some food … not enough but it’s better than nothing. And still no sign of life. Well, animal life. Not even the insects are here.”

“I don’t want insects crawling all over me as I’m sleeping, but I must admit their lack is unsettling as fuck. If not even insects aren’t willing to live here, then not everything is as great as it looks.”

“Speaking of which … how do these plants get pollinated if no insects are around? Is pollen even a thing here?”

“Oh well, time to get some wood for the fire and start looking for a way out.”

-----

“Well, that was easy!” He said as he quickly lit the moss he placed in the campfire with his lighter, ”And I didn’t have to use my blazer as fuel.”

“Usually, I’d worry about suffocating myself with the smoke, but if the campfire was already here, it should be ok to light a fire in this place.”

“Speaking of which … where are the people who used to be here? And how many of them are still out there? It would be naïve to think I’m the only one who got abducted like this. And this campfire waiting for me shows that this kind of kidnapping is nothing new.”

“Were the other guys abducted the same way? Maybe I’ll run into Jens or Booker eventually. Hopefully we’re not here to fight each other.”

“Thinking back, Liri had joined us only recently. Considering that she’s a magical creature, maybe she had a hand in this? Maybe that’s why she came to us, to find a suitable target. Damn, that Francisco fucker may be right again! Maybe keeping our real teams secret was a good idea after all. And Snirba too, we know she was sent to spy on us. She could’ve had a hand in this as well. Maybe she conspired with Liri and told her I should be one of the targets.”

“If that’s the case, then I expect to see Jens somewhere nearby too. He is our representative, after all. He should be a far juicier target than me.”

“Anyway, let’s see where the smoke is going.”