Eric stood up slowly, stretching his body as he did so. He started moving his arms around, left to right, then in a circle, only to reverse the circle a few moments later.

“Urghh!” He groaned while stretching his neck, “I never had an idea just how uncomfortable getting tied up like this really is. Just standing still for more than an hour is torture, even without those tight knots of yours.”

“Feeling better?” She stood right in front of him with a wide, taunting grin on her face.

“Yes, much better. See, we can talk like this, too.”

“Maybe you’d like to get your pants up first.”

“Uhh … oh yeah. I completely forgot about it. I got so used to seeing you naked that I completely forgot about my own clothes. But like I said before, I’d like to wash myself first. Do you have some water going through here? I have a very neat, tiny stream back in my camp.”

“Oh yes, I do have one not so far away. But first …” She stepped towards him, her nose coming very close to his.

“You really like getting into people’s faces, do you?” He said in a level tone.

“It’s the best way to read what they are thinking. Eyes are the mirror of the soul, after all. But, strangely enough, I see nothing when I look into yours. Hmm … quite a mystery, isn’t it?”

“What, are you going to abuse me some more?”

“It’s the exact opposite. How about you punch me?”

“Huh?”

“I want you to hit me. I want you to hit me as hard as you can.”

It took a few moments for his mind to process what she said, making his eyebrows go up, “Why?”

“Aren’t you enraged by what I’ve done?”

“Oh, I absolutely am.”

“So go on and punch me in the face.”

“You mean, to get my revenge?”

“You’ll take your revenge sooner or later. I’d much rather have you punch me in the face than stab me in my sleep.”

“That’s… an interesting but rational way of looking at it … but let me ask you something first. Ok, let’s say I punch you right now. What will happen when you abuse me again? I get to punch you once more?”

“That’s only fair.”

“Has it maybe occurred to you that I’d much rather have you treat me respectfully than getting to punch you whenever you wrong me somehow?”

“But what’s there to respect? Respect is earned, not granted. Becoming someone’s bitch isn’t deserving of respect.”

“You’re really pushing me towards it, are you?”

She grinned even wider, satisfaction beaming in her eyes: “Come on, just punch me already! Don’t be a pussy!”

“I’m not … wait … wait, wait. Did you say bitch?”

“Yeah! You’re my bitch now!”

“So … if you know what a bitch is, then do your people have dogs? As far as I know, timkiks have never heard of them, so I’m wondering if your people are different in that regard.”

“What’s a bich? What’s a dog?”

“A dog is an animal, a canine animal. Usually bred to protect property or help with the hunt. It was created from wolves.”

“I know what a wolf is, but I’ve never heard of a dog.”

“Then how do you know what a bitch is!”

“What’s a bich?”

He gave her an unamused look, “Are you fucking with me?”

“I did not so long ago, but I have no idea what you’re saying! You’re saying words that don’t exist in my tongue!”

“But you’ve just called me a bitch!”

“Yes, I did! So what?”

“Then how do you not know what a bitch is?”

“Because that word doesn’t exist in cubus language, you retard!”

Eric stared her in the eye: “Do you understand what a bitch is or not?”

“No, I don’t.”

He let out an exasperated sigh: “I know you’re messing with me, trying to get me all riled up, but have it your way. Let me explain what a bitch is to you. A female dog is called a bitch. You’ve just called me a bitch. So, do you know what dogs are or not?”

Stolen from Royal Road, this story should be reported if encountered on Amazon.

Phisola responded in a level voice, using her index finger to gesticulate: “Here is the thing. I didn’t understand that word when you said, Let me explain what something-something is to you. But when you said, ‘You’ve just called me a bitch’ I did understand the entire sentence. You’re forgetting that you’re speaking my tongue now, idiot!”

“Your tongue?”

“Arghh!” She gnashed her teeth as her fists clenched, “If you keep this up, I’ll be the one punching you instead! Listen here, you idiot! You’re not speaking your native tongue now! You’re speaking the cubus tongue! Your mind translates everything to the cubus tongue before you say it! Here, try it yourself. Say something, but pay mind to how your tongue is moving.”

“Mhmgm …”

“Out loud, you dumbass!”

“Timkik. Ti … timki … oh yeah! My tongue is moving differently than it’s supposed to!”

“Because I gave you the cubus tongue! I’ve explained it several times already!”

“But what does that have to do with you messing with me?”

“Ok, tell me this now, out loud. But pay attention to how your tongue is moving. Ok? Say: I am Phisola’s bitch.”

He couldn’t help but frown at that, “Really?”

“That’s what the argument is about! Just say it! Go on, I have a point to make!”

“Urgh …” he let out a sigh of annoyance, “I am Phisola’s bitch.”

“Now say it again, and make sure you remember the way your tongue moves.”

“I am Phisola’s bitch.”

“Good. Now, because I know you need to hear the same thing at least five times in a row, let me remind you that you need to pay attention to how your tongue is moving as you’re giving me the answer. What animal were you asking me about?”

“I … was … asking you … about dogs.”

“And what is a female of that animal called?”

“Bitch.”

“Notice any differences there?”

“A female dog is a bitch. I am Phisola’s bitch. Whoa!” His eyes opened wide in realization, “Why is my tongue moving differently for the same word? Oh, wait, wait, I know. It depends on the context, right?”

“I don’t know why would you choose the name of an animal to describe a bitch, but the meaning is different. After all, words are all about meaning. It’s all about transferring thoughts into another’s head. So when you call someone a bitch, that gets translated because that word exists in the cubus tongue. But when you try to describe a creature from your world, which is something that doesn’t exist in the cubus tongue, nothing gets translated because there’s no word to translate it to. Then you speak nothing but gibberish to me.”

“Oh, I … I see. That means I owe you an apology, then. I’m terribly sorry,” Eric said while bowing slightly, “I’m so used to you messing with me at this point that I thought you were doing it again.”

“Hmm …” she scrutinized him for a few moments, “Well, at least you apologized. Geez, I thought diplomats were supposed to be smart and resourceful, not complete idiots like you. Were your people trying to start the war when they sent you? Were they hoping your host would get so irritated as to kill you, giving your people an excuse to invade? Oh, but I forgot. You’re not warriors.”

“Anyway, I’m sorry, and I really mean it. But it would help if you’d stop messing with me so much.”

“How am I messing with you?”

“You’ve literally asked me to punch you in the face!”

“Ah yes, back to the topic,” she got in his face again, “Now that this nonsense is settled, how about you punch me in the face?”

“This again?” The disappointment was evident on his face.

“Do I need to explain everything all over again? I don’t want you holding any grudges and backstabbing me! If you want to punish me for what I’ve done, then go ahead and do it! I recognize I’ve treated you poorly, so I’m willing to get the punishment I deserve! Come on, don’t be a pussy!”

Eric stared at her grudgingly for some time. She just stared him back, with her usual self-satisfied grin all over her face.

“Is this how it’s usually done where you’re coming from?” He asked.

“It’s only natural. I’ve clubbed you in the head a few times. Taking one punch is nothing compared to that.”

“True … but I’m a diplomat. The whole point of my profession is avoiding violence.”

“Yet some people just can’t be reasoned with, can they?”

“True, but violence isn’t in my nature. And even though you’ve… forced yourself onto me, I must admit that you didn’t have to work hard to arouse me. So it’s not like I’ve hated every moment of it. What I do hate are your constant insults and disregard of my will and feelings.”

“Oh my fucking god!” Phisola yelled while putting her palms on her brows and trying to spread them apart as far as she could, “Will you constantly be nagging me about your feelings and emotions? Let me guess, the next thing you’ll say is that we must get married now that we’ve done it.”

“No, but people don’t like being forced into things, even when they want them. Even if they really, really want something, people hate being forced into it. You’re a beautiful female … wait. Do you know what a woman is? Does that translate?”

“No, it doesn’t.”

Eric let out a sigh, “I see. Your people don’t have genders, only sex … just like timkiks. But the point is, you’re a beautiful female with a great figure, and I don’t think any male would turn you down if you asked. You forcing yourself onto others is not only unnecessary but completely malignant … by the way, why are you naked all the time?”

“Oh? You’re asking that only now?”

“I had higher priorities, like trying to survive, so I didn’t bother asking before. Do your people walk around naked like that?”

“No, of course not. I had some damn fashionable clothes when I got here, but those got ruined very fast. Turns out, high fashion wasn’t designed for dungeons. I’ve been walking naked ever since.”

“You got yourself that fancy knife from adventurers, right?”

“Yes.”

“Couldn’t you get some clothes from them too? Or even better, some armor?”

“The things they’re wearing are disgusting! I’d rather walk around naked than wear that shit! I’m not the kind of girl that will wear just about anything.”

“A proper lady, huh?”

“No, not a lady, but a classy girl.”

“Yeah, that makes sense. Ladies don’t curse like you do, let alone ask people to punch them in the face.”

“Speaking of which, you’ve been delaying your answer for way too long. Are you going to punch me or not? Make up your mind already, it’s not that hard!”

“Hmm …”

“Instead of giving me speeches, how about showing me what you truly feel through your actions?”

“Hmm … no.”

She raised an eyebrow at him, “No?”

“No. I’ve never hit a female before, and I’m not about to start doing it now.”

“But I did hit you.”

“True, but those weren’t normal circumstances. You had no idea who you were dealing with. And I ran into you in a fog. Not to mention that you could’ve killed me at any point, but you decided to make a potion for me instead. Your way of administering it was repulsive, but I did struggle, so I will forgive that, too. But the most important thing is that the punch won’t solve anything. It’s not like it will change what has happened or what will happen. I will let bygones be bygones if you promise to treat me like a person from now on. How about that? How about we start from the beginning now that we can talk to each other?”

“Hmm …” Phisola pondered his words as she sized him up and down, “I guess human males also think with their dicks first. Is that your final answer?”

“Yes, it is.”

“Are you sure?”

“Absolutely sure.”

“Hmm … good,” she brightened up, “You’ve passed the test! I’m glad the ingredients didn’t go to waste!”

Turning around, she started walking away from him: “Had you decided to punch me, I’d kill you on the spot. I can’t have you being rebellious to your mistress, so it’s good to see that you already know your place. Now come, let me show you around.”