“The fuck am I supposed to do now?” Eric wondered silently as he wandered through the underground halls, “There’s no way I could stay with her, not now when I know she’s a damn cannibal. An abusive, toxic relationship, sure … even that is better than being eaten alive by those dinos. But a fucking cannibal who will eat people she used to care about … how the fuck can I stay with someone like that?”

“Though, I am amazed she didn’t kill me right there on the spot. But hey, I guess I should be thankful I’m not an elf. Maybe she would eat me too if I tasted better.”

“And all that gaslighting … she’s a manipulator through and through. Ok, I knew she was not a good person ever since we met. Good people don’t enjoy abusing others. But I never imagined she could be so evil. I can’t say she’s pure evil but … but I must admit how she identifies herself as a devil … yeah, that has merits, for sure.”

“Well … I can’t say I’m looking forward to the future, but at least I’ll die as a man and not some submissive bitch that’s willing to compromise all of his values just to be safe. I’m no god-damn hero, but I’m not a villain’s thrall either.”

He slapped his face a few times: “All right, all right, that’s enough rationalizing for now. Now is the time to focus on survival. I got my trusty, bent spear. I got this cool knife she gave me … it’s much better than the stone I’ve carved out. And I was sane enough to pick up my fucked-up blazer that’s good for catching fish. So, I should probably go back to my original base. It got water, it got fish, it got campfire … I need a base of operations and a shelter if I’m to do anything.”

“I should’ve asked her to teach me how to make my camp safe ... I mean, long before all of this happened. I have no idea how to set up a proper trap, and that’s what I need the most right now. I’m most vulnerable when sleeping.”

“Or …” Eric stopped for a moment, “maybe I really should try my luck with the adventurers? Maybe they aren’t as bad as Phisola says. She’s an evil manipulator, after all. They did draw their weapons first, but that was only because we scared them. I’d probably do the same thing, too. You’re just minding your business, returning to your camp, and suddenly, you notice something waiting for you in a bush. Drawing your weapon makes perfect sense. We’re in a dungeon, after all.”

“Oh … but fuck. Their camp is the other way. I didn’t pick the right exit to leave. I’d have to return to Phisola’s lair and go through it.”

He stared in the distance for a short while.

“No fucking way! I’m not taking that risk. I was lucky she was generous enough to let me go once … I don’t want to fuck around and find out if she’ll let me go the second time.”

“Besides, we’ve just killed some adventurers. They must be on edge, now more than ever. And approaching them from the same direction we’ve attacked them earlier … that’s just asking for an arrow to the face.”

“Or an arrow to the knee … hue, hue, hue.”

“So … I’m back at the beginning, I guess. But at least it should get easier from now on. As I understand, the lower you go, the more dangerous it is. So the more I climb up, the easier it should be to say alive.”

“I just hope I don’t run into those cats again. I’m not sure if I’d survive one, let alone a pack. And running away is certainly not an option when facing them.”

“I better come up with something revolutionary, like … something that will keep everything away from me. This bent, pointy stick isn’t gonna cut it. And that knife Phisola gave me is good, but if I ever get in the range to use it, that means I’m already dead. If I could only make some sort of trap … these halls aren’t that big. Whatever comes at me must approach me from the front.”

This content has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

Realizing something, he slapped his forehead really hard: “Oh my fucking god! Why the fuck did I destroy that lighter! Why did I do that? Just so, what … just to show that bitch some lightning? Now I got nothing to light the fire with! The fuck am I going to do now? How stupid I had to be to …”

His posture eased up once he accepted reality.

“… hopefully, I’ll run into those adventures again. They didn’t see my face, so maybe they’ll think I’m …”

“Nah … there’s no way they’d mistake me for one of their own. But maybe there are some support personnel in their camps? Like cooks, for example? Maybe I can pass as something like that? If I just had that lighter …”

“Well, Eric … you deserve to die. Smashing that lighter is worthy of a Darwin’s award. You, a diplomat, destroyed the most useful tool you had just to prove something to a random stranger.”

“I mean, sure, I hoped she would realize I’m coming from an advanced civilization. I was hoping that would make me more valuable in her eyes, that proving we know how to use electricity would make her take my survival more seriously. I mean, what worth did I have to her besides the fact that I was an exotic stranger from a different world? It’s not like I could help her in some meaningful way.”

“But now that I remember … that is when she started acting more nicely with me. Wasn’t that the point after which she stopped throwing random insults at me? So … looking back, I guess destroying that lighter did improve her opinion of me …”

“… but now I threw that away. And I’m fucked with no lighter.”

“… hmm … maybe I should go back to her … maybe I acted too rashly. I was furious back then, but now that I’ve calmed down a little … leaving her was just yet another stupid thing I did … and there’s only so much stupidity I can get away with …”

“… maybe I should just swallow my pride and …”

TWACK!!!

The sudden pain in his chest forced Eric to look down. It didn’t take him long to realize a feathery arrow was sticking out of his chest.

TWACK!!!

And then another one.

He looked in front of him but couldn’t see anything. His first instinct was to run back, which he tried, but he collapsed as soon as he made the first step. He didn’t even have the time to realize his strength had left him entirely.

And the fact that he fell on his chest, causing the arrows to twist inside his body, didn’t help either.

He let out a loud cry of pain. His mind didn’t have the time to process everything yet, but his instincts already knew.

He shifted to the side to ease the pain and looked down the hall. He saw an armored figure running up to him, already just a few dozen steps in front of him. It carried a kite shield at the front, ready to block whatever came its way, so he couldn’t really see anything besides the shield and an armored helmet peeking from above it.

Eric readied for the warrior to finish him off, but the warrior didn’t stop. He ran past him and ran down the corridor. Completely at a loss for what was happening, Eric stared at the disappearing warrior. He tried to see if something in the distance drew the warrior’s attention, but he couldn’t see anything.

A sharp pain in his shoulder diverted his attention. He saw a spear sticking out of the shoulder, but it didn’t cut deep. It didn’t even cut deep enough to lodge itself into the shoulder, but it hurt like hell nonetheless.

Following the spear, he saw another warrior above him, but this one had a different armor on him …

… or on her? Eric couldn’t really tell because, while this warrior was far less armored and carried what appeared to be a leather helmet that revealed the face completely, the face itself wasn’t enough for Eric to make that judgment.

He couldn’t tell because this warrior had the face of a gecko.

The warrior stared at him with reptilian eyes for a moment before pulling the spear out of Eric’s shoulder. Then he started talking in a hissing voice, but Eric couldn’t make any sense of it.

“Wha … what? I have no idea what you’re talking about. We don’t speak the same language.”

Hearing Eric’s response, the warrior looked back and started talking with someone else. Eric tried to see who the warrior was speaking to, but his position on the ground, coupled with the arrows in his chest, made it impossible for him to bend enough to see.

He heard several different voices though, meaning several people were around him.

People, or … do giant geckos count as people?

He felt a light kick to his back. Lying on his back and turning towards the direction of the kick, he saw a robed figure standing above him. Black robes covered everything but the face of a pig and were decorated with all kinds of metal chains and gadgets.

“Are you a demon?” The pig asked. Its voice was deep, yet it had a tint of squeakiness to it.

“A demon? No! No, I’m not!”

“Then why are you talking in a demonic tongue?”