“Look, look,” Eric raised his hands to his chest, “You’re making an awful lot of assumptions without having any evidence. You’re trying to judge my magicless world through the lens of your own. You are applying the rules of your world to a completely alien universe.”

“Then why do you look so familiar? Why do you look like an elf? Or even better, why do you look like that cubus devil you’re with? Didn’t you say she is almost identical to your females? If you’re so alien and the rules are so different in your world, then why don’t you look completely different? Why aren’t you some kind of slime or something?”

“I don’t know! I’m as surprised as you are! Hell, we’re all surprised!”

“Well, I’m not. I’m only asking to hear your excuses.”

“Then, how do you explain everything?”

“It’s very simple. You’re a cubus demon, serving that devil, and everything you said about this other world is a lie the devil came up with. You two wanted to come to this dungeon, thinking you’d have some fun times killing adventurers. But now you want to escape for whatever reason. I do believe you want to get out of here, but I don’t believe your silly story.”

“Then how do you explain the fact that I don’t have a soul?”

“That’s a bit harder to explain, but maybe the devil has cast some powerful spell on you. If she is powerful enough to bring you back from the dead, even though she is clearly not even a healer, then why wouldn’t she be powerful enough to mask your soul somehow? That would explain why she brought you back in the first place. She invested way too much in you to simply let you die.”

“Any evidence for this?”

“Any evidence you’re from an alien world?”

“I got these strange clothes. But, more importantly …”

Eric’s hand reached for the pocket but stopped right in front of it.

“Uhh … would it be ok for me to reach for my pocket? I want to show you something that I’m absolutely certain doesn’t exist in this world. It’s a writing tool. It’s completely harmless.”

“You got an alien tool with you?”

“Yes. Can I pull it out?”

Pig-faced said something to the wolf that made him draw his sword and take a fighting stance: “Ok, you may now.”

Eric’s hand reached for the pocket slowly, pulling the pen out with just two fingers.

“You don’t have something like this in your world, do you?”

“It looks like ammo for some ranged weapon.”

“It’s not. Give me some papyrus, and I’ll show you.”

“Papyrus? Why would we have papyrus here?”

“Uhh … maybe your mages need to write something down?”

“It’s an unnecessary burden. We can carry only so much equipment, so why would we waste precious room on papyrus?”

“I don’t know. I’m not an adventurer. The devil got some papyrus from the adventurers, so I thought you might have some, too.”

“Give me that tool to examine it.”

Eric handed the pen over without a second thought. Pig-faced examined it for a while, rotating it in his hands, before stepping out of the tent to call someone over.

He briefly stepped back into the tent just to say: “I’ll call in an expert to examine this quickly. Give me some time.” Then he stepped out again.

The wolf put his sword back into the sheath, and the two of them got back to their awkward silence. But Eric did notice something change about the wolf. When they first met, the wolf treated him as a nuisance. Even though they couldn’t talk, that much was obvious to Eric. But now he eyed him with some curiosity. The wolf didn’t stare at him, ignoring Eric most of the time, but the way Pig-faced spoke with Eric clearly influenced the wolf’s attitude in a certain way.

This tale has been pilfered from Royal Road. If found on Amazon, kindly file a report.

Also, that angry elf might have contributed somehow, too. Who knows what she yelled at Pig-faced during her fit of rage?

It took a while, but Pig-faced returned eventually, getting back to business right away.

“You were right. I have to admit this thing had to be created somewhere far away. In a land we know nothing about. And it couldn’t have been made by demons. They don’t have the necessary qualities to make something so useful and precise.”

“Did you finally realize I’m not a demon?”

“I’m not completely convinced yet, but this thing has managed to shake my opinion up a little bit,” Pig-faced said as he returned the pen to Eric, “Not only that, but it got one more person to agree with your plan.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. Dwarves are extremely stubborn, until you show them something shiny. Your pen did the trick.”

“Dwarves? You have dwarves here?”

“Only one. He is an engineer.”

“My people have good relations with dwarves. They are one of the two races we have relations with. They appreciate us very much, and we also appreciate them in turn.”

“Yeah, well …” Pig-faced looked away briefly, looking awkwardly to the side, “I think that appreciation is about to become unbearable, as soon as you leave this tent. The dwarf now wants nothing more but to ask you all kinds of things, and they aren’t used to taking no for an answer.”

“That’s ok, I don’t mind. I’m not an engineer though, so I’m not sure if he’ll be satisfied with my answers, but I’ll answer his questions the best I can.”

“You say that now, but you’ll be begging me to put you back in prison once you realize just how aggressive the dwarves can be when stimulated.”

“That’s a … an interesting choice of words.”

“They’re hard to stimulate, but they stop for nothing once they are.”

“Are you saying that my presence will stimulate this dwarf? I’m not sure what you’re trying to say.”

“Not you! He couldn’t give less of a fuck about you. It’s things like that strange quill that get them going,” Pig-faced made his voice go deeper sarcastically, “What is it made of? Why is it so light? Look, you can press this! But what makes it stay instead of going back? And why does it click? It can’t be a spring in something so small! The guy wanted to smash it right there and then, just to see what’s inside.”

“I can open it for him in just a second.”

Pig-faced moved his hand towards Eric in a hurry as if to physically stop him from doing something terrible: “Don’t! Just … don’t! It’s better if you don’t.”

“I came here to cooperate with you guys. I’ll help however I can. If that means your dwarf will constantly bother me, then so be it.”

“Then help us, and don’t do anything that would stimulate that dwarf even further! We need him working, not wasting his time on your stupid toy.”

“Ok, fine. I was just trying to cooperate.”

“You demons can’t help it. You cause trouble even when you are genuinely trying to help.”

“I’m not a demon, though. And you admitted demons can’t make something as helpful as this pen.”

“Even if you’re not a demon, there are so many things wrong about you. You are, without a doubt, the hardest case I ever had.”

“A case of what?”

“There are so many contradictory things about you. Like, there are so many things both proving that you are and aren’t a demon at the same time.”

“And what proves that I’m a demon?”

“Just the very idea that a devil would waste an enormous amount of energy to bring you back is enough. There is no way she would do that for someone who isn’t her own. And you also mentioned that you look almost identical.”

“That’s hardly evidence. And maybe she just likes me a lot. Maybe I’m a good listener who doesn’t jump to conclusions immediately and instead waits to get to know people better before judging them. Maybe she simply appreciates that, unlike so many other people in this world.”

“I see what you’re doing there. But I don’t have the time to get to know you, do I? It’s not like we have plenty of time to get to know each other.”

“Fair enough. I just wish you’d judge me on some solid evidence instead of what-ifs.”

Pig-faced struck a pose as if he was thinking deeply, resting his chin in his hand, although his face clearly showed there was nothing but sarcasm there: “Ok, what does the evidence say… hmm … it says that you got killed and the devil brought you back to life, clearly indicating that you’re a major asset to her.”

“You really like going in circles, do you?”

“It’s a great way to get people to admit their lies. They will lose focus after enough circles, and their tongue might slip.”

“She is a cubus demon, and just like all the other cubus demons, she loves sex. And that’s why I’m such a major asset to her. Not because my dick is something to write home about but because our similarities make us very compatible. There, your mystery is now solved. I am essentially her sex slave.”

“Is that why you wanted to get away from her?”

“That’s not the worst thing I’ve been through with her. But at least she is keeping her part of the bargain and is doing her best to keep me alive. I’d be dead long ago if I didn’t run into her.”

“So, you made a deal with her?”

“Yes, we made a deal. She will keep me safe and get me out of here, and in turn, I will be a good boy and cater to her needs. It’s not an ideal arrangement, but it’s not like I have any other options, do I?”

“Hmm,” now pig-faced got lost in thought for real, “hmm … if she is a lawful demon … and she did get invited here … hmm …”

He didn’t think for long though, as wolf’s voice interrupted him. The wolf said a few short sentences, which pig-faced listened to intently.

“Yes, my friend here is right. We should get down to business. We don’t want that elf coming back here.”

“Finally!”