“Don’t just stand there like an idiot,” Phisola said while grabbing the rear leg of one feline, “Help me drag these fuckers back to our lair. Isn’t that why you’re here?”

“Ah,” hearing that, Eric started slowly easing up his posture, “So, it’s done?”

“Can’t you tell?” She pointed her hand at the other feline lying on the ground, “Not much fight left in them, isn’t it? The third one got away once it realized what they were up against, but these two have some decent blood in them. Enough to speed our progress up for some fifteen or even twenty days.”

“So,” Eric approached her carefully, “we got twenty days worth of blood in a single day?”

“That’s right. But we got lucky this time! We won’t run into these guys often. And getting a jump on them like this will be even less frequent.”

“Are they dead for sure?”

“Take a better look at them if you don’t believe me.”

“I … yeah … their eyes have almost popped out of their heads. Damn, you’re strong.”

“Maybe for you. A strength like this is nothing for a devil.”

“And you used that club so well.”

“What are you talking about?” She looked somewhat offended, “I only used basic swings on these small-timers!”

“Still, those were some expert martial arts moves. It was so clean and precise. And you were so fast, I didn’t even manage to process it all before the fight was over.”

“Well,” Phisola looked at the ground in front of her feet, “clearly I wasn’t fast enough.”

Squatting down, she picked up long strands of white hair.

“Damn … looks like I got some decent haircut this time,” she said while standing up before turning her side to Eric and raising her hair with her hand, “Is my hair uneven?”

“Uhh … now that you mention it, yes.”

She looked at the hair in her hand for a few moments before throwing it back to the ground: “Bah! My hair was too long anyway! I didn’t cut it in a long while, so of course it would get in the way. As soon as we return to our lair, I’ll give you scissors so you can cut it even.”

“Me?” Eric’s brows rose in surprise.

“I can’t see the back of my head, you know.”

“I have no experience with hair-cutting! What if I do a bad job?”

“Then you’ll pay. But enough of this. Grab the other one, and let’s go,” she commanded as she grabbed the feline’s leg again.

“They are … quite big,” Eric said while approaching the large carcass.

“Which means they have plenty of blood in them, and that’s great.”

“This one has blood coming out of its ears.”

“All the more reason to hurry up!”

Wasting no more time, Eric tried picking one up but failed miserably.

“It’s … it’s much heavier than I expected.”

“Are you trying to lift it up? Why are you such an idiot? Just grab it by the leg and drag it like I do! See?” She swayed the leg in her hand.

“Ok, that makes sense … but … ufff … arghh …”

“Use both hands if you’re not strong enough, retard!”

“Ok, ok. God, these really are heavy!”

“Come on, let’s go.”

“Sure thing.”

-----

“Can I ask you a question?” Eric asked as they dragged the carcasses through the halls.

“Now that we have nothing else to do, sure,” Phisola responded in an unusually friendly voice.

“Now, first of all, I’d like us to establish something. As I understood, you take fashion very seriously. So much so that you’d rather wear no clothes at all if fashionable clothes are not an option.”

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“Yes, that’s true.”

“So much so that you’d rather walk around naked than wear unstylish armor.”

She nodded her head with satisfaction plastered all over her face: “That’s right.”

“Even though that armor may save your life?”

“Ah, I see why you’re confused. But you’re missing something very important,” she brought the index finger of her club-carrying hand up to emphasize that, “I’ve never received any training for any armor, so it wouldn’t do me any good.”

“Even so, it could save you from those claws. What if you didn’t dodge it in time?”

“But if I wore armor, I wouldn’t dodge it in time. It would slow me down.”

“That’s … a valid argument, but still …”

“Being confident in your abilities is one of the most important things in a fight. If you’re not, you’ll hesitate and overthink everything. Sure, armor offers many benefits, but I wouldn’t feel confident wearing it. I wouldn’t be nearly as fast as I am without it. I’m used to being … unencumbered. Changing that would throw me off balance. And that’s true for most other mages as well, I’m not an exception.”

“So, it’s not just because armor is unfashionable?”

She turned her head to look at him with an amused smile: “Of course not! What, did you really believe that?”

“You … do have irrational tendencies sometimes.”

“It may look like that to you, but there’s logic to my madness. Now, what about this?” She brought her club in front of his face, “Wouldn’t you say this is unfashionable too?”

“That’s exactly what I was trying to get at! Why would you use a club, the crudest and most primitive weapon of all, if you care about fashion so much?”

“Because it leaves no open wounds, so the blood won’t spill from the carcass. The club is a perfect weapon for blood-gathering. It scrambles the brains but drains no blood.”

“Still, you do look like some cavewoman carrying it around.”

“What, are you saying I look unfashionable with it?” Her face turned serious in an instant.

“Well … yes. I’m not trying to offend you, but a crude club doesn’t really fit well with someone as elegant as you.”

She stared him in the eye momentarily before smiling again: “That’s right. But if something is effective, then I can tolerate it. Just how I’m tolerating you. A wimp like you doesn’t fit well with someone like me, yet here you are. You are here because I have no better alternative. It’s the same with the club and walking around naked. I would rather wear something fancy instead of walking around like this, but I don’t really have a choice, do I?”

“So … practicality before everything?”

“Survival before everything. I don’t mind having something unpractical if it’s worth it, but not in these conditions. These felines we’re taking back to our base … they’re nothing compared to what is out there. I didn’t even have to use any magic to win this time. Against some other things, I’d have to use all of my magic just to escape.”

“Are you telling me there are things more dangerous than a devil?” He gave her a wide smile to let her know he was joking.

“I’d say devils are somewhere in the middle. People aren’t scared of us because we’re strong or effective killers. They’re scared of us because we’re smart and cunning. We know how to exploit, how to subvert. Something tells me your people have no stories where a devil just starts rampaging and killing thousands of people.”

“I … I don’t remember such stories myself. But the devils are considered to be the most evil.”

“Evil is subjective. Evil is nothing but the word we use to describe our enemies, that’s all.”

“I don’t know. I’d say that genocide is pretty evil, and no good person would ever do something like that.”

“Don’t you genocide bugs when they infest your home?”

Eric’s eyes narrowed, and his lips pouted instinctively: “You don’t get to equate insects with people! Insects are vermin! They’re destructive!”

“And people are not?”

“It’s not the same! They don’t have emotions like we do! They aren’t sentient!”

“And you are nowhere near as sentient as gods are. So would it be ok for a god to exterminate your people from this world outright, just because it doesn’t feel like sharing its world with you?”

“What kind of argument is that?”

“Gods perceive us the same way we perceive insects. And just how you can squash an insect, you can also give it food …”

“What does that have to do with anything?”

“Maybe you forgot, but this conversation is about evil.”

“Are you saying genocide is ok if a god does it?”

“They’re just doing some … deratization, that’s all. When vermin starts causing too much trouble, they have to step in and put a stop to it.”

“Can’t those gods talk to people? Can’t they give them a warning first?”

“Can you warn bugs before you exterminate them?”

“No, I can’t but … fuck me!” Eric raised his voice in frustration, “You told me that you’ve dealt with gods before, remember? If they can talk with you, then they can talk to people before hurting them!”

“I have dealings with gods because I’m a devil. Ordinary people can’t even comprehend, let alone engage with them. Just how bugs don’t understand you when you’re talking to them. Just how bugs can’t even perceive you properly, ordinary people can’t perceive gods either.”

“Then a god can tell you to tell the people!”

“That’s true. What do you think prophets are for?”

“Oh my fucking god!” Unable to facepalm since he had to use both of his hands to drag the large carcass, Eric just shook his head in disbelief, “How the fuck did a normal conversation get so crazy all of a sudden?”

That only made Phisola laugh hard: “Ah, yes. I’m not a demon, but I’ll curse my god and fuck him! Such piety from your people.”

“Look, ok, I will admit that I’m not a good person. If cockroaches infest my place, I’ll call in an exterminator. But I’m just a mortal. I’m imperfect. Don’t you think that a god, or gods, should adhere to higher moral principles?”

“Of course not! Do people adhere to higher moral principles than bugs do?”

“Of course!”

“Then when was the last time you saw a bug torture one of its kind for fun? Or sells out one of its kind for profit? Or beats up its wife and kids? Or do necrophilia and pedophilia? Or …”

“They have no sentience to do those things! Sure, they don’t do any of that, but they also aren’t compassionate. Or generous. Or loving. Bugs don’t take pets in or help strangers. They only care about finding food and procreating.”

“Is that a reason to exterminate them from your home?”

Eric looked straight at her: “Are all devils such moral relativists?”

“Of course! Higher intelligence forms understand everything is relative. The only reason why you’re so upset with mortals being genocided is because you are one of those mortals. It’s nothing but self-interest.”

“Are you trying to say that genocide is ok?”

She waited for a few moments before answering: “I’m trying to say that higher life forms need to do more evil than lower forms to be considered evil. We can’t have the same standards for bugs, people, devils, and gods.”