Rated 17+ due to language and inappropriate themes.
Re:Ocean: Holiday!
April 15, 2015
(Susan Murray POV)
Well, the trip was certainly memorable, not to mention convenient.
No planes, cars, boats or trains. Just walk to the bathroom and step into the tub. Then splash you're there.
'There' being a tropical paradise. The local weather conditions are similar to Vanuatu. I admit I was a little concerned about weather and natural disasters until Calvin pointed out we have clear skies for a month.
If only weather forecasts were that good on Earth.
Calvin laughed at that comment.
The boys are thrilled to see their uncle again. Dad seems a bit quiet and Steve is just thrilled.
I wonder how different this world is compared to Earth? It seems fairly ordinary.
Okay, sure it has sirens, mermaids, monsters and gods.
“Anyway feel free to do absolutely anything and go anywhere. Be careful of the cliffs. Otherwise this whole island is safer than a panic room. Just call out and I'll hear. Weedy will be in town, go to her if you need anything. Same with the twins. I've arranged for fresh seafood and fruit to be delivered daily. There isn't electricity yet, but you have an ice safe that functions like a 'fridge. If you want air-conditioning just ask for a cool breeze out the window. I know a guy that controls wind. The water should be safe too. I've arranged that. So feel free to swim anywhere any time without repercussion. If you ever see something big in the water it is probably a friend. If it isn't, well it will become dinner.” [Cal smiling] “There shouldn't be any jellyfish or venomous critters in the waters around here. I had a few helpful snails deal with that. If at any time you feel threatened or even concerned by anyone just point out you know me well.”
“How do we cook food?” [Susan]
“Think of it like camping. You brought water-proof matches didn't you? Those are the key to your stove and grill. Trust me when I say the food around here is leagues better than Earth, there is practically zero pollution. Most of it is bigger and better tasting too. I have a few delicacies that I'll provide personally.” [Cal]
“Where's the beer?” [Dad]
“Geez Dad! Can't you go without booze for a day? It can't be good for your liver.” [Susan]
“I wouldn't worry. I pressured a certain god of wine into giving over some of his private reserve of beers, wines, spirits and liqueurs. He folded when I threatened to water down the lot. Heh. As for your liver... hmm. Wisdom can you fix that?” [Cal asking the empty air]
“What the Hell is that?!” [Dad] “Golden-liver?!”
“Was it a bright blue message? That is just how the world around here works. Wisdom doles out most powers to mortals. It should solve some or all of your concerns.” [Cal] “Uh... if you get messages about evolution, ignore it unless you want to end up like a character from Super Mario or something. Permanently.”
“Wait... we could mutate?!” [Susan]
“It is unlikely, but it is rarely harmful. It might make you look strange, glow in the dark or spit fire.” [Cal] “Or weirder.”
“Cooool!” The boys yell.
“But you boys will wait until you're eighteen before you do. If you still want to evolve then, I'll get you the very best evolutions possible. Do you want a weak little power or something kick-ass? You won't get a great one from some random evolution.” [Cal] “Heck, I can make you all gods with a few hours of hunting and a few hundred years of training.”
“You're serious?” [Susan slightly horrified] “We're human! We'll be dead by then!”
“Naw, when you hit demigod status you're functionally immortal. Weedy for example is waiting for her second shot at the regular promotion trial. That's a few hundred years away. She was the only one to fail from my group.” [Cal chuckling] “There used to be group trials for elemental demigods of the same element but we had a break away from that last year and decided to stick with the format.”
“Will you be here?” [Susan]
“Most of the time. I get lots of random jobs now at odd hours. But I can usually delegate the small stuff. Since I became the god of the ocean I had a lot of titans and higher evolved creatures trying to get on my good side. Mostly because I'm one of the few things that can stop Charie's temper. I'm just able to react faster to the more remote crises.” [Cal] “I do plan to take you on a tour of some of the more unusual places. Stuff humans don't usually see.”
“So lead on to the beer, my Favorite son!” [Dad]
“Dad!” [Steve faking his shock] “Didn't I have that title, since I took you to Bavaria last year for Octoberfest?”
“Steve, nothing trumps being given the power to convert beer into a health food.” [Dad] “Now I can drink myself slim!”
“That'll take a few years, Dad.” [Steve]
As we walk into the village a hush falls as everyone falls to their knees.
Two figures rush out, a third slowly behind them.
At first I expected them to hug Calvin but these identical girls fall to their hands and knees before him.
“God-husband...” [Twins]
He glanced at Steve's look of surprise with a smirk as he helped the women to their feet.
“That's right, you're single aren't you? I'll can ask the girls to introduce you around, I have a fairly wide social circle. Our family is pretty influential here. I'm sure there are some princesses or other interesting types out there for you. Arranged marriages are the norm in this world.” Calvin smiled. “For humans, anyway. If you're looking for tail, I know mermaids and others.”
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“Calvin! What are you saying in front of the boys?!” [Susan]
“I'm just asking if your uncle likes girls with tails? You saw your aunt Yumi before, right kids?” [Calvin]
“How many aunts do we have?” [Oldest boy, Ned]
“A lot. You'll meet them all eventually. Don't you worry, they're all nice. You also have plenty of cousins now. Play nice!” [Calvin]
Weedy approached, giving a little curtsy in a black and white dress.
“Master.” [Weedy]
“And this is Weedy. She's a demigod under me, so go to her if you need anything. And yes Steve, I do mean under me in THAT sense so don't get any ideas... wink, wink.” [Calvin]
**********************************************
April 16th 2015
We spent the next day on the beach, meeting some of the new family members... they're... nice... I suppose? (nervous laugh)
Okay, I may be over thinking it but seriously... WHAT THE FUCK?!!!!!
The siren I could understand... until I learned her past...
The twins... were a misunderstanding they don't even realize?
Charie... okay, she's still just intimidating.
But how do I even begin to understand how a person gains a harem like this... it's absurd.
Let's not even try to understand the reasoning behind how seven of them got attached to him while he was a squid...
Why is there a whale and a tuna in the story?
Gah!
(Hyperventilating)
Eh, fuck it. This is exhausting, trying to understand. Too tired to care.
(Slumps onto a shady area on the sand and drinks a frosty juice.)
Ah... better.
Don't sweat the small stuff, Susan.
… he got how many goddesses pregnant by accident?!!!!
(Brain overheats)
*********************************************
April 17th 2015
Wow... castles and fancy dresses.
“It's like some kind of fairy tale...” [Susan]
“If you want I can introduce you to some fairies later.” [Calvin] “Yumi has a distant cousin in their court. I'll warn you they are the old English variety... y'know the kidnap children for a half a century without aging kind.”
“… let's not go there.” [Susan]
“Nah, I'm a god sis. They'd need to be insane to touch you or the boys. So relax. Be a jerk to their queen for all I care. If they start a war, I'll finish it in minutes.” [Calvin smiling] “Besides the next queen is going to be your sister-in-law eventually... it can't hurt to get to know them a little. Um. Bear in mind she's still only eleven years old, so we won't marry until June 7th 2205. We don't officially start dating until she's legal... uh... seventy years old. They do age kind of slowly. She is older than I am in this incarnation. So you could say she's a cradle robber.”
Ugh... headache. There's that future stuff again...
*****************************************
April 19th 2015
“Welcome to paradise!” [Cal]
A banner unfurls which reads: 'Welcome to bring your Family to Work Day!'
I look at Cal.
“What? Do you know how many strings I had to pull to get you all access up here?” [Cal looking at me with a quirked eyebrow]
“Where's the beer?” [Dad]
“Ah, a man after my own heart... step this way good fellow. I know I'll be seeing you around here again soon.” [God of Alcoholic Beverages] “Young Cal Amari here was telling me you'll be a demigod soon...”
Poor Steve was stunned by all the women.
He quickly introduced himself.
Before Cal even had time to blink his brother had already hit it off with a pleasant young woman. He didn't however have time to give his brother a warning...
“Not her! She's the goddess of giving... she's a futanari...” [Cal faintly amused at the twist] “Oh, this will not end well...”
Yet when they came back several hours later... Steve was strangely happy.
Apparently they're now dating... she didn't tell him, Cal didn't tell him... I certainly aren't going to spoil that surprise. He has it coming, he's already engaged to a duchess. These playboy brothers of mine...
Steve's scream on date three was hysterically funny, I will admit.
Before we knew it, the holiday was over... and we were back to our old world. Only to find it filled with such things as a hydra building islands in the Pacific and some kind of cult dedicated to tentacle porn...
Eventually we moved over to the other world with some of Calvin's new little fan-club.
Becoming a demigod was pretty easy, all things considered. All I had to do was poke a knife into a giant lizard's heart. Calvin did all the work.
I didn't realize until the following day dinner was that same heart...
I did not want the titles 'Heart Breaker', 'Heartburn' and 'Lizard Lancer'.
However the legendary title: 'Single-Mother-goddess' was a nice touch.
This is just a little something I scraped out of the bottom of my to-do pile, a side story promised long ago.
And that folks is that.
No more Cal.
Ever.
I promise.