Day 29

I grab hold of Charybdis in 0.3 seconds...

“Why are you...” [Charie]

We are instantly transported somewhere with a pleasant atmosphere and sweet smelling breeze. Lilac flowers?

“...Oh.” [Charie] “Here again.”

I am about to respond when I feel the touch of spears and blades.

I reverse my head (no turning involved) so that my face looks backward and glare at the armed... gods.

“It will take more than steel.” [Cal]

A god composed of solid gold stamps forward with an obese body.

He grasps at me with huge fingers.

I change to magma and melt through his hands.

“Not today, Buddha belly.” [Cal] “Now will someone calmly explain why I am here and why I shouldn't kick your asses?” I glance at Charie, pleading with her to be quiet to avoid an incident.

“Come with us.” A sharp-eyed older man in a robe says. “We will give you your trial and fair punishment.”

“So... a punishment is mandatory? I already smell an unpleasant stench.” [Cal]

“You will come alone. This... creature will wait for your verdict here. If it is death, she will be placed back where she came from.” [Old War God]

As I hug Charie I give her my penis.

Not in that way, perverts. I remove my extremity and hand it to her.

“You're the only one I'd trust with my most precious toy...” [Cal]

She seems a bit weirded out, but then so are most of the gods too.

“Keep it safe for me, okay?” [Cal]

I follow the guards, seeing only two left behind to guard Charie.

The surroundings are like a painting of a sunset, marble structures and grand vistas in all directions.

I feel like I was dragged into a blend of Rome and ancient Greece. I think I see the Parthenon and the Colosseum side-by-side. I suppose they have the capability to see those structures and duplicate them.

I'm dragged in front of a crowd, filled with jeering and occasionally grim faces. I'm made to stand on a raised stage. Should I mention I have a fear of public speaking? There are at least three hundred gods here. I see the few that I know towards the back, looking uncomfortable.

“So... where's my lawyer?” [Cal] “You haven't even read me my rights yet! I demand a miss-trial!”

“Silence, upstart murderer!” [Portly God of Wine]

The crowd yells insults my way... until a man with a giant physique stands up from where he was seated at the front and walks onto the stage.

“Calm down now, we will have order.” [God of Law]

“So why exactly am I being victimized here? I killed that old bastard, sure. After he killed me.” [Cal] “THEN I reincarnated and he tried to kill me some more. I don't know about you or your precious laws, but where I come from, if someone tries to kill you then you have every right to defend yourself.”

“You are not helping your cause.” [God of Law]

“Oh? So what are your precious laws that I have broken? Something hilariously out of date, no doubt.” [Cal]

“To kill a god is punished by stripping the offender of immortality and power, to kill a mentor means death and the annihilation of the soul.” [God of Law]

“That thing was a mentor in the same way that I am a water-flea.” [Cal] “For those ignorant of sarcasm: not at all.”

“He may not have been a good mentor, however he did not try to kill you directly.” [God of Law]

“Oh? Only by sending me to blindly meet Charybdis and fight a Hydra that I could not have survived against alone.” [Cal] “I suspect the Goddess of Wisdom aided me, repeatedly in the second task.”

“Is this so, Goddess?” [Law]

A petite girl in a very unusual style stood up. White lace and frills. She even had a parasol. She did not speak but instead used a felt-tip pen to write on a whiteboard she carried. Her face was serene and lovely.

'I did not' [Wisdom]

“You did not?” [Law] “So no one did?”

The crowd was silent for long moments.

“I wouldn't say that...” A voice came from the Goddess' mouth, breaking the silence. Her clothes changed to black. The parasol lowered to cover her face, except for her cruel smile. She lowered the board and continued speaking. “I certainly did.”

“Really? I should have known. Folly.” [Law]

“Now I ask you a question, God of so-called Law. Our laws protect only gods. They were created by gods who had no origin, beyond that existence. Like yourself. You have always been a god, as have I. The question is... is it wrong for a god to kill a person destined to be a god, out of convenience?” The parasol raised and I saw behind it lay a maniac smile and glittering malice in her black eyes.

“Such a loaded question...” [Law] “Our laws however state that...”

“Our laws are indeed out-dated, as you are only going to quote the same laws you used to accuse my protégé.” [Folly] “The ONLY laws we have on the subject.”

“So you claim to be this foolish god's mentor now?” [Law]

“Someone had to be, since the other was indeed trying to murder him. But then that is why young Cal Amari there even exists in this form to begin with...” Folly chuckles slightly. “I congratulate you on your most amusing choice in names, God of Chaotic Liquid.”

“But the law...” [Law]

“Regardless of your claims, I have a claim on behalf of my protégé that you will have to counter before you rule that he be killed or stripped of power.” [Folly]

“Which law?” [Law]

“The law against the murder of gods. That is the law I invoke against your claims.” [Folly] “After all, the God of Frozen Aqua murdered a god. That god is standing right before you. Further more it was his own protégé. The law has mentor and the mentored as interchangeable.”

“I suppose technically you are correct...” [Law] “But he was not a god then.”

“But he is a god now. The law does not say 'when' or 'if' only 'is'.” [Folly] “It does not take into account the journey to godhood or the treachery one may use against a potential god.”

“No... it does not.” The God of Law seemed a bit saddened by the reversal.

“Yes! Technicality is the best kind of win!” [Cal] “I did not commit murder! I executed my own murderer! Hah!” I make a guts pose. “Take that!”

“I suppose under the circumstances that might be the case.” [Law]

“Not 'might', that is the case, just like that little 'is' in your precious, stupid law.” [Folly] “Fix it. My protégé is not the first to suffer this fate, he is merely the only one to manage to get it acknowledged. Your laws need corrections and updates, like mortal laws, because we gods are a slowly changing group also.” She smiles at me with an almost fond look. “More so with such unusual additions like Cal Amari.”

She laughs softly as she stands. “You named yourself after a food... made from your origin species... chaotic indeed.”

I leapt off the stage and came up to my secret benefactor.

“How can I ever thank you?!” [Cal]

“A good stiff fuck will do.” [Folly]

“Uh... really?” I was a bit surprised by the bluntness.

Hmmm.

On the other side of paradise I began to communicate via wang phone.

“Hey Charie... If you could stroke a little harder beneath my chin I'll enjoy it more...” [Penis]

“Cal, is that you?” She asks, bringing my member up to her face...

“Yes... um, can you move me back a bit, your breath tickles...” [Penis]

“Do you need a rescue? Because I can break in and eat a whole lot of 'em.” [Charie]

“No, I was saved by the Goddess of Folly... I wanted to okay it with you first, she wants a reward for my help... uh... me.” [Penis]

“What do you mean by 'me', Cal?” [Charie]

“As in the thing you're holding... inserted in a private area, eventually.” [Penis]

“This isn't a permanent thing, I hope?” [Charie]

“Let me check...” [Penis]

Back with the Goddess of Folly...

“So... is this a long term thing or a fling?” [Cal]

“I would prefer it a casual thing, if you prove to be as good as you looked to be via observation. Also I would also like to point out that my other half is more interested in a long term arrangement, but a child would also be acceptable.” [Folly] “I personally only want gratification, but the other one is a little needy.”

The tale has been illicitly lifted; should you spot it on Amazon, report the violation.

At the gates to heaven, talking via Johnson...

“Sort of... half and half? She's of two minds on the subject...” [Penis] “If you want I can leave you with my wedding tackle and family jewels... so she'll only get the standard tentacles...”

“No... if she isn't very serious about it, then you go ahead... but remember that you are going to do everything you do to her, doubled for me.” [Charie] “That includes children.”

“Okay... well that is going to be problematic... anyway... you know I'm yours forever, right?” [Penis]

“I know... I told you that from the beginning, didn't I?” [Charie] “Do you mind if we have this conversation later... I feel awkward whispering romantic nothings to your disembodied member...”

“Uh... you might want to point me toward something... Ah... ahh... I think I have a lilac pollen allergy... ah...AHHHH...” [Penis]

SPLOOGE!

…

“Um... I don't know how to tell you this...” [Charie]

“I don't like the sound of that... what did you point me at?” [Cal] “I don't have eyes on my mini me.”

The Goddess of Folly is laughing hard...

“You know what happened, don't you... who did I hit?” I ask afraid.

“You managed to hit not just the Sister Goddesses of Love, Beauty and Passion... you made a bank shot and hit the Goddess of Chastity... and you impregnated them all!!!” [Folly] “You are either the luckiest or the most ridiculous god in the world!”

Oh... crap...

I am so glad I'm not there in person, right now...

OH WAIT!

Four very pissed off Goddesses proceed to try to crush my schlong into slush.

It speeds away back to papa, whining...

Squirm! Squirm for your life!

I catch myself gently as it shivers...

“Good boy...” I stroke myself gently... “It wasn't your fault...”

“You know I was planning to do that myself, later...” [Folly]

Ah... this does look weird... or very creepy...

Neutered man stroking severed penis...

I stick Squid Jr Jr back on.

As I watch a quartet of gorgeous women run past, as if chasing something...

Ignore it...

Charie races up behind them...

“Sorry...” [Charie]

“It was my fault... next time I'll leave something less... troublesome behind... I know! I'll give you my hearts!” [Cal]

“Yes, because blood is sooo much better than semen...” [Folly]

“Uh... how about a nose? No... a finger? Uh... I've got it! My appendix! He's pointless anyway!” [Cal]

“Actually it produces amino acids in utero and helps regulate the immune system in human adults...” [Folly]

“As a squid and a god... and being made of fluid... this is all ridiculous anyway...” [Charie]

“Awww, spoil sport...” [Cal]

We were eventually escorted to a mansion with a singular duality: it had white marble on the east side and obsidian on the west. The only place the two colours meshed was her bedroom, a massive space with a goddess sized bed... basically a tennis-court smothered in zebra striped satin sheets.

And so I proceeded to ravish a goddess and her split personality six ways from Sunday. Or is it Wednesday?

As Charie watched, certainly counting the thrusts and moans of ecstacy... I think she even timed us... and it was a long time...

Underneath the gothic lolita dress she was quite busty and had some very provocative silk underwear, which she claimed was authentic death-spider silk... specially made.

As she switched personalities I had to change tactics... since she started as 'White' her Wisdom persona, I had to take things slow and gentle... and it was nice to see her gasp soundlessly as she came...

Then the 'Black' persona took over and being the spontaneous and vigorous type she demanded I immediately penetrate her with tentacles. So I did. All her orifices at once. Roughly. As she screamed about how good it felt.

It was this kind of back and forth... I was reminded a little of the twins... only I was having sex with only one person...

It was quite surreal for me.

I took my time and did it until even a Goddess was satisfied.

I made sure to give her everything she wanted and more... now there are four people sharing one body...

Also quite cutely the Goddess of Wisdom would write words on my skin with her finger, to talk to me.

Or it would be cute if they weren't quite explicit and far nastier than anything the 'Black' persona asked for... talk about surprising.

On the other hand 'Black' actually became tender after the act... I only knew because she was the one that talked... split personalities are confusing.

Anyway... after we relaxed a bit Charie decided to barge into the fun, having gotten quite jealous... and so together we had a Goddess plead for mercy... and when we offered it she begged for more torture... truly a confusing person...

Finally we did a little too much and ended up with some very dirty sheets...

Who knew Goddesses actually needed to use bathrooms?

Not that anyone cared at that point.

And so a day later it was time to leave.

“...” [Wisdom]

“Do you have something to say?” [Cal] “Should I get your pen and board?”

'No.' She wrote on my arm. 'Just please... come again.'

“As long as Charie agrees, I most certainly will.” [Cal] “I have time off, I'm sure I know a few people that would deeply enjoy your company... even more if you use that special finger technique...”

The one where she puts her whole arm inside someone and uses jazz hands... Charie rated it highly...

“...” Oh, she's blushing... that's cute.

Day 30

I'm a month old!

I thought I'd die in an hour when I was born but how about that!

We celebrate with... a cake.

I joke.

It was an orgy.

Day 31

Francis confided in me at last about her concerns, as the only non-humanoid...

After consulting with Folly I arranged for her to get a transformation ability...

She has a human form... it is taller than the Hydra...

A giant...

Her body is still the same dark blue. She does have an innocent, cute face with long hair she threaded through a barrel to make into a pony-tail. In terms of cup size... she's a GGGGGGGGGG. You could use her tits as a water-slide... which I did. I finally see why my son likes it there so much... we end up as a matching pair...

Also... I did a little spelunking later... with sexy results...

That was merely the fore-play.

She also got a taste of standard sex, i.e. the missionary position from my giant mode... which was apparently earth-shattering... literally we broke a mountainside like some couples break beds.

I think about what it will be like to be a father... to a horde of... smaller mes.

Somewhere out there a tuna cries out happily for her brother... and means me...

I feel a chill... like an ice planet is resting on my shoulders...

Oh wait that's just a parallel dimension...

What we learned:

Cal is looking at dark times ahead... just kidding.

He IS looking at a lot of paternity suits... and angry divinities...

Not least of all the cuckolded ones...

What we missed:

Yumi's introduction to Folly/Wisdom... the poor siren fainted from over excitement with a blood nose...

She fainted again when they showed her a special trick...

Somewhere out there a ship filled with beer, spirits and snacks was stolen, along with a full regiment of soldiers on a troop transport... to the sounds of diabolical laughter!

Well that is almost it...

One more side story: The Future is Squid...

Yes we will see his kids... all 14 of them... so far...