Disclaimer: No people were harmed in the making of this chapter... except through research. And human testing. And genetic experiments. And because people looked at me funny that one time...
Day 10 part 2
Okay... breathe squid, breathe!
Last thing I ever thought I'd say...
#Well you could just leave him to his, admittedly unpleasant fate.#
I watch the soon-to-be mother swimming back to his canoe. I am now officially a face-hugger xenomorph. It is not a good feeling.
#Well I can try to make it better, if not alright... problem is: the human ain't on my list of approved followers. You would impregnate the only Agnostic in the village, wouldn't you? Also I'm not killing off the kid so don't ask. I don't do abortions.#
#I didn't say that... it just won't be pleasant for Modder...? Dother...? Fother? Pa-ma? Oh, Dom!#
#A few days discomfort and a very unlikely story...#
#Hehe...#
#I sped up junior's growth rate. He should be mature in... three... two... one...#
The man screams.
#Bingo.#
#Of course not.#
#Nope.#
Wha... I touched him there as well?!
#Bigger than he likes...#
Poor guy...
#Its his lot in life. He's due kidney stones in a few weeks anyway, it won't be much worse...#
Oh... damn.
“Graaaah!” [New Mother... er... New Parent]
I wince.
#Look at it this way, he got divine retribution for messing with a demigod... it could have been worse than a weird groping and a few days of walking crooked... As for bizarre pregnancies caused by the gods... this one doesn't even rate in the top ten.#
#I'm a god, not a miracle worker...#
#What about the little squirt? He's right next to you.#
I turn and a tiny squid hugs my eye... no wait he's biting.
Aw, isn't that cute? He thinks he can kill me...
>I'm not scared of anything...< [Squid Jr]
>Ahhh... save me Daddy! Mommy!< [Squid Jr using Ink Cloud (lesser)]
“Hey, you. Sea Horse. One more hover and you're a dead equine. I do beat dead horses a lot.” [Squid]
“Um, sorry where are you? I can't see you in the shade of this... AHHHH!!!” [Sea Horse noticing giant squid]
“You're awfully orange, aren't you?” [Squid]
“... please let me live...” [Sea Horse]
“You know, that's my son you wanted to eat...” [Squid]
>Dad?!< [Squid Jr]
“I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!!! I won't do it again!!!” [Sea Horse]
“You predators are all the same... Its all 'Muaahahaha' when the food is tiny but then its all 'please forgive me' and 'please stop biting off my legs' when the tables are turned.” [Squid]
“I don't have legs...” [Sea Horse]
“Fins then... and another thing... picking on a kid is really not called for...” [Squid]
“But its how the Ocean works...” [Sea Horse]
“Not anymore. So pack up and go live on land if you hate my rules.” [Squid]
“I'm not physiologically capable of that...” [Sea Horse]
“Lets find out, shall we?” [Squid]
With a flick of my arm I sent the fish's bony tail sailing onto a desert island... (Years later explorers encountered a fearsome beast, hopping on a coiled tail and vacuuming their crew members into a toothless maw... It became known as the feared Orange Horsie, a terrible fiend.)
>You're my dad?< [Squid Jr]
>One of them...?< [Squid Jr]
>Uh... Dad?< [Squid Jr]
>Thanks for beating that guy up for me...< [Squid Jr]
>Ahh! Sardines!< [Squid Jr]
“Hey, you're scaring my son. Buzz off, all of you. Or else.” [Squid]
(We do not fear what cannot strike us...) [All fish at once]
“You're really that stupid? Well, your funeral...” [Squid]
I send a supercharged variation of the Vacuum Bubble attack of the Mantis Shrimp at them at a speed near mach ten. They die. More accurately: they disintegrate.
>Wow! You're like, the strongest Dad ever!< [Squid Jr]
Stolen story; please report.
I search out my prey, with Squid Jr following in a stable bubble of water I carry along with me, buffered from inertia, current and friction with my commands.
Stoner Shark is as annoying as ever...
He is a bit stunned by the new look... and a good slap.
“I should probably explain something to you... 'man'.” [Squid] “I told you a while back to shut your mouth... I've heard one too many 'cools', 'dudes' and 'gnarlys' out of you. Lets just hope you make an 'excellent' breakfast. So any last words... 'buddy'?”
“Uh...” [Shark]
>That was gnarly, Dad! Hit him again, it was cool!< [Squid Jr]
“But... but... he said the same things just now... besides I never said gnarly...” [Shark]
“Who asked your opinion?” [Squid]
“You did, just now, dude.” [Shark]
“You never learn, huh?” [Squid]
“Not cool... dude...” [Shark speared by the water itself]
>Very cool, Dad!< [Squid Jr]
>I do!< [Squid Jr]
Later after several hours of father/son bonding over violence... I noticed fire on the beach of the island above my home.
I surface to watch, curious... ah, stupid squid genes... if I weren't a demigod you might get me killed... curiosity and cats after all... they're both my natural enemies...
They're dancing around a figure of me... huh.
Some kind of festival? Tentaclemas? Winter solstice?
>Do they hate you, Dad?< [Squid Jr]
>Then you should beat them up too...< [Squid Jr]
I test out the expansion ability by appearing as a hill sized squid...
Special Ability: Size Shift learned~
The crowd freaks out as I stretch my arms over the congregation... for a few moments. A ball of water hovering at eye height with me holds Squid Jr secure. There is renewed singing and dancing... aw... I wanted to play Godzilla and watch them flee... instead I'm being treated like Gamera... this sucks. Where's the fear? The respect? I have kids singing at me... its humiliating.
What fun is there in being five hundred feet tall if people don't run screaming? Well there is one traumatized guy in the village making an escape by hobbling...
I try to get a feel for my size, but there is a major drawback, I'm not particularly strong at this size... just heavy. So heavy it might kill me in the next few minutes. I'll be crushed by my own body mass.
I shrink down to a hundred foot and notice the weight is much less and my strength only slightly less than usual. Huh. Damn, gravity is messing with me too...
“Um... is that you... Ensuikage?” [Cone-shell too small to notice by sight]
I shrink back to normal size.
>Beat him up, Dad!< [Squid Jr]
“Orthoceras regulare. I technically am a Nautilus... just an extinct one... the message said something about the shark being really, really old...” [One-eyed masked Orthoceras]
http%3a%2f%2fupload.wikimedia.org%2fwikipedia%2fco...ras_BW.jpg [http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/4/4a/Orthoceras_BW.jpg/330px-Orthoceras_BW.jpg]
“That damn god screwing with you, this time?” [Squid]
“Sir? We do not worship gods... only our master.” [One-Eye]
“Forget it.” [Squid]
“Shall we keep the child safe and fed until you wake?” [One-Eye]
“That sounds like a good arrangement... just be aware that if he gets eaten... there will be Hell to pay... and it will be frozen over.” [Squid]
“Ensuikage-sama we would die before this happened. Do not fear for his sake, nothing that threatens him will live.” [One-Eye]
>...but Dad, he only has one eye!< [Squid Jr]
>But you don't have a shell either!< [Squid Jr]
What we learned:
Squid is a doting parent.
Ninja cone-shelled snail became a cone-shelled nautilus.
Eating titan accelerates evolution...
The god of the sea is an asshole. (As if it wasn't obvious already...)
The Cult is growing popular...
What we didn't see:
Yumi disciplining the torturer siren with rope bondage play... and a whip.
Several sperm whales seeing Squid: Giant Mode before fleeing...
Little rescued girl now owns the largest home in the village... with monkey butlers...
Squid Jr is now an apprentice shinobi.
See? No joking about ero... just not writing it in yet... hahahaha