Last episode before things get (somewhat) serious.

Day 5 part 3

So... pirates.

Not going to lie... but they aren't really giving me that 'salty sea-dog' impression.

“Salty sea-dog?” The siren asks with a questioning look. “The last dog I saw was coughed up in pieces by a shark. I suppose it was salty by then... but...”

Never mind. Its an expression.

Hmm... I glance at the siren.

“Whatcha thinking?” She asks cocking her head.

Well, I was wondering if you wanted to have a little fun...

“What do you have in mind?”

And so a few minutes later I pulled myself up on deck. I wobble a bit trying to balance on tentacles with my body in the air. Cough. The water spirit stone is working, I'm just having trouble keeping a stable flow of breathe-able water on my gills, it keeps gushing out my vent instead. I'll have to think of some kind of compromise later. I'm not by any means one hundred percent but that hardly matters. The Mantis Shrimp was strong; experienced pirates probably wouldn't compare... at least considering the twins to be the baseline for human female strength and then factoring in males. Unless I come across some kind of major figure or mage I should be able to escape at least.

The man on watch yells a warning as he sees something on deck, but it is dusk now and he can't see as clearly, just the silhouette.

The remaining crew rush out from the galley, weapons in hand. Well... except that one guy with a lumpy sack... what’s that about?

They pause, astounded by the my erect height and girth...

Arrr, ye scurvy landlubbers...

“HE SAID:... 'ARE YE SCURVY, LAND LOVERS?'” My interpreter shouts from the ocean.

They all look over the side but she ducked under before they saw her.

“Well actually, we did run out of limes a while back...” One pirate remarks. “Or is it talkin' to you, Scurvy Joe Miller?”

“Scurvy Joe don't really know any octopus.” Scurvy Joe replies mystified.

Ah, translation errors are a bitch the world over.

“HEY!”

I didn't mean that literally...

“OKAY THEN.”

I be Cap'n Tentacle Beard McGee...

“I BE CAP... AND TENTACLE BEARD... MCGEE”

“What the heck kinda name is that? He doesn't even have a cap.” The same pirate remarked. “Hey McGee do you know anyone from your clan that got magicked this bad?”

“I dunna know man.” A fat man with a Scottish accent replies.

“Put some pants on, McGee.” Another pirate shouts. I agree, the kilt is too short.

“They canna hold sir. They're startin' ta give...”

Ignoring the status report from Scottish crewman.

“IGNORING THE...”

I didn't mean to say that one.

“SORRY, IT'S HARD... TO TELL... THE DIFFERENCE.” She panted.

For a singer, shouting really isn't her forte.

“I DON'T... REALLY SING MUCH... ANY MORE.”

“What is this?” The designated pirate spokesman asked confused. “Are we being attacked or are we the butt of a joke or something?”

No you idiots, I'm taking the ship.

“NO YOU IDIOTS, I'M TAKING THE SHIP...”

“You are?! Well boys, it looks like it's squid fer dinner!” With a cheer the mob rushes me across the deck, weapons raised...

… until they meet my end which is thinly ice coated.

Pirates go sliding everywhere.

I hear a siren laughing in the background of what resembles a keystone cops moment, enmasse.

I'm not really inconvenienced by the footing however and advance, suction cups holding me firm.

I hurl a man into a mast with one arm and bitchslap another across the face so hard his head ends up looking backwards. Two slip as they come at me more cautiously, I hurl them over the side by the ankle in opposite directions and watch as they bounce like skipping stones a few times before sinking permanently. Yes! Still got skillz.

Scottish guy and a wall of three others stand at the front, with wooden shields and axes. I throw a tentacle at them sideways and the whole group is pushed back a step. Then a second blow and they fall to their knees.

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“The shields, they're buckling!” Scotty yells. “We canna take much more!”

I think we've heard enough from you, McGee.

Permafrost Spear activated~

Crack! Right through the wooden shield and the Scotsman's chest.

“Damn you, McGee!” One pirate howls outraged. The others stare at him, even dying McGee.

“I mean the other one!”

[Generic Pirate #1] “Right...”

[Generic Pirate #2] “Of course...”

[McGee] “Gurgle.”

[Outraged Pirate] “Cut the bastard off at the beard!” The pirates look at him again. “Remember? His beard is the tentacles.”

[Generic Pirate #1] “Then say that! Tsk, idiot...”

[Generic Pirate #2] “Just get him!”

[McGee] “...”

They glance back at the now silent man.

[Outraged Pirate] “He killed McGee!”

[Generic Pirate #1] “You bastard!”

[Generic Pirate #2] “Um... yeah?”

One too many on the last one, huh?

Are they actually going to do something or just stand there shouting stereotypical lines? Sigh. Siren, back off a bit would you, this will be messy...

Hey, there are words and movements that go with this one... I follow the ritual while the pirates argue over who got Original McGee's stuff. I guess because I don't seem to be moving aggressively at the moment I'm not that big of a threat. That or they're just very greedy.

[Generic Pirate #2] “Lookit octopussy dance!” He starts to clap in time to my rhythm of doom...

I suppose they could just be simple, salt of the earth, morons.

Someone is even asking for the kilt while it is still warm... eugh. McGee was not a neat, clean person. For a pirate, even.

Permafrost Squall activated~

I wonder just how much damage...

Clouds form in moments directly above. Foot long spikes suddenly fall from the skies. With the height, shape and material used... this isn't a vaguely damaging magic... its a full blown annihilation.

I stand in the center of the fall, diverting icicles away with cryokinesis just enough to avoid them entirely. I'm pretty slender on land, so thankfully few come close enough to matter. The pirates aren't quite so fortunate. The spikes fall with thuds, piercing flesh, bone, steel and wood indiscriminately.

This isn't a squall, its a meteor shower of spikes! So this was why I had been an icicle squid... I wondered about that.

They cripple the ship, shearing straight through the hull. The front mast falls with a creak and the other follows it moments later. I step aside as it slams down but the falling mass connects the dots and the ship breaks in half, surprising me.

The sack, lying on the deck forgotten is pierced and the contents slide as I hang sideways by suckers.

Tiny bottles spill out, red and gold vials.

Don't tell me...! Those are either medicine or...

One cracks on the deck and it is awash in flames.

Yikes! I still have that hypersensitivity to heat!

I let my footing go and drop into the churning water, the sea above a sudden bloom of Greek fire. As I think it is ending the yellow ones ignite. The night is suddenly bright as day and the rear half of the vessel is ripped into timbers.

The front half is bobbing, prow raised to the sky and about to go under. Oh well. One more little adventure...

I crawl into the ship's bow and walk up the floor, toward the sky.

Cargo hold?

Inside three dirty, emaciated children stare out at me. They squeal in terror at the situation and me. They dangle from chains above the surging sea that seeks to claim them.

What we have learned this chapter:

Some times bad things happen to the right people.

Kids turn up where you least expect them.

Humans are pitifully weak.

Siren translation is still better than G**gle Translate.