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Klawhammer
Chapter 52: She do Like to Carry on When She's in the Hotseat

Chapter 52: She do Like to Carry on When She's in the Hotseat

Momma is looking out the window fast now to check what all Daddy is up to and that he ain’t on his way inside. “Listen, listen” she says urgently “you ain’t have to do this, Gabe, what all I told you before, I was just trying to give you a warning about Daddy, to stay out of his way and to play it smart. To play along. Like a game! Like a fun game! It ain’t real! none of it! You ain’t have to play it all the way like this. Buying time is all we is doing until we can escape out of here. You come with me. You and Jacob come on with me and we can be happy away from here. We can. You and me and Jacob.” I look her in the eyes and say “who’s Jacob.”

Momma ain’t keep a close enough lookout for Daddy. He walks in the door just then and sees Momma looking at me in a serious and sadly way, and says sharp and suspicious. “What all is going on in here? What all you talkin’ about while I’m away?” Momma says “nothin’, we was talking about...” but I cut her off “Momma there says she was just biding her time before she steals me to go to grandma’s house and to leave you flat. She says you is crazy and you ain’t no good no more.”

I pick back up my book and Momma hisses at me with venom “you fukkin’ little liar. You fukkin’ liar.” Daddy looks at her with a smile “oh now! I ain’t think he’s a liar at all. Survivin’ in the wilds with his number one Daddy is what he’s doing, and you’re trying to call him a liar? Him?” Daddy walks up to her and grabs her by the back of the hair and yanks her head back, exposing her neck. She gives a strangled call, like a caught bird. “Him a liar! I ain’t think so! You a liar? Yes. But him a liar? No. Nothing of the sort. Not one bit of the sort. You looking for a way to escape and take my one and only son to that wretched woman’s house, who force feeds everyone butter milk and can’t even walk up the stairs for her fatness? You trying to steal him off to there? We’ll see about that we will.”

Daddy looks over at me “what you all think, Gabe? You think she ought to escape?” I shake my head no and say “and she also said she wants to take that good for nothing dog with her when she leaves. Take it right out of here. Probably planning on feeding it our hard-earned chicken all along the way. I done told her that it’s her dog now and I ain’t even want it in the first place.” I hold the book back up to my face. “Ho ho!” Daddy shouts in mommas face, hand tightening in her hair so her face starts to stretch, “pulling a double fast one on us! You told me that it was Gabe’s idea to get that foul dog and I believed you! Well, no more” this startled me for I ain’t know Momma was talking about me behind my back, trying to make me the bad one, all the while being the worst bad one herself. I knew it all along that she weren’t to be trusted.

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Daddy shakes Momma “you hear that? Dog is all yours now!” Daddy shakes his head sadly, “but first, there has to be a penalty for all the trouble you been causin’ out here for me and ol’ Gabe. To think! You was plannin’ on taking off without so much as a goodbye? After I told you what would happen if you tried to leave?” Momma’s voice comes out in a gasp “I ain’t trying to leave, I’m right here in this house and I ain’t even want to leave! I love you!”

Daddy chuckles “there she goes again ol’ Gabe. Lyin’ as fast as the words can come out of her mouth” I roll my eyes and say, “She do carry on when she’s in the hotseat” Daddy laughs at that. “She sure do! Well, Gabe, since you was the one who caught her so well, you is the one that gets to deal out the sentence! You is the judge and I’m the executioner!” I pretend to think real hard, but I already know a fittin’ Judgement.

“Why don’t we take her on out to the swingin‘ contraption? Get her all wrapped up and leave her out there for a while? Just like she done left our feelings out in the cold with all the lying she been doing lately.” Daddy slaps his knee with his free hand “hot damn but that’s a fine idea! Help me with her legs!” I spring off the couch and grab up her legs, and Daddy adjusts so that he’s got her in a headlock. “On we go!” He says, and we all head out. Along the way, Daddy gives the naked dog a kick and looks back at me and I also give it a kick and say “nyaw! Out the way you lazy bones!” Daddy is laughing and I’m laughing and Momma can’t rightly say nothin’ on account of how Daddy’s arm is cutting off her windpipe.