I'll say it again. I ain't going back, and you all ain't going back. We're a family and we're staying right on up here no matter what comes. I ain't care how you feel about it, and like you said, Robyn, I'm dead serious and ain't backing down from this, even if we all die of starvation. Momma drops her hand asking for the keys and just stands there. Daddy looks at her and reaches into his pocket and pulls out the keys "here's your keys" he says, then quick turns toward the woods and throws them as hard as he can.

They tinkle somewhere out there. Momma crosses her arms. "I'm walking out of here. Right now" although her voice ain't have the conviction it once did. Daddy laughs a bright cheery laugh which surprises me since it don't sound like he's mad. "You ain't going nowhere.” he says in a singsong. “You leave this property and I'll drag you back by your hair and tie you up for a week. How does pissing and shitting yourself without no food sound? Every time you leave, I'll make it longer and longer until maybe you get to where you even wish you was Jacob, since at least he won't have no ropes on him and gets cleaned up after he pisses and shits. Ain't nobody going to clean you up."

Momma says "you're joking. you ain't going to do that" and she licks her lips, unsure. "Sure as shit I will. Now get back in that house, woman." Momma is still trying to process "and what if I ain't want to do what you say" she says and daddy gives her a smile. "Well then, I guess you'll have to try ‘er out and see." Momma looks like she's about to give it a try after all and daddy is just standing there, waiting to see what she does. After a long while, momma silently walks into the house. Daddy turns to me "welp, ol’ Gabester! Done took sides against your Daddy! Not smart! Not a good bet at all"

Daddy’s getting closer now and I realize I ain't seen much of Daddy at all lately. I ain't seen him this close in a long while. He sidles up and is close so I can smell him now and I realize he ain't been washing up none, and he smells like hot copper and sweat. His clothes is dirty and stained with pitch and his nails is long and his hair is greasy and matted, like he's been sleeping on the ground. I take a step back and he gives a great big grin.

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"Ol' Gabe! The Scamp! You been up to any scampering lately? Any fukkin' scampering or you just been washing your brother's ass this whole time? You like doing that? You think he would do the same for you?" I hear myself talking, but it ain’t quite feel like it’s me the one who’s doing it. I‘m starting to feel like I’m floating away from myself.

"Jacob would do the same for me. We always done take care of each other..." Daddy laughs then, only not happy laugh this time, it's a laugh like I never heard him laugh before. I ain't recognize my Daddy in this moment and I start to get scared like he ain't really my Daddy and this was someone else altogether. Daddy stops laughing abrupt. "You ain't know everything, Scamp. Jacob ain't really even like you. He was only being nice because we asked him to."

I'm scared, but I know that ain't true.

"No he ain't! We done played together and he done showed me things! How to go down the big slide without falling off! He done saved me from them neighbor kids!" "Maybe so," says Daddy, "but you just think, lil Scampini. Just think about this. We done told him that if he ain't play nice with you, he was going to get a whippin'. You is too young to remember, but he ain't take too kindly to another mouth in the house to suck off you momma's teats.

We used to catch him trying to put a pillow over your face in the night when you was too small to fight it off. Few times there you turned blue enough that we though you was a goner. You always came out of it though! Haw Haw! That's why I call you the scamp. Cause you always scampin' your way out of dying at your brother's hands." "No!" I shout "you is a liar, just like Momma says! I ain't believe you!" Daddy grabs my shoulders and digs his fingers in enough to leave a mark later.

"I ain't give a shit what you think or what you believe. That boy in there ain't give two shits about you. If you was in his place, he wouldn't take care of you nohow. He wouldn't give two farts in a sack for how you was doing, and he sure wouldn't read to you or talk to you. I expect he would be happy not having you around to take up all our attention."

Daddy is close and I smell his breath like rotten meat and there's something damp and dark and furry between his teeth.

I say quietly, "you ain't my Daddy. where'd you put my Daddy."

He leans in even closer and says in a whisper. "I been here the whole time."

Then Daddy pushes me hard and says "now get in that fukkin' house."