I get back to the trailer and there’s a dust cloud on the front lawn. Daddy is chasing them chickens all around with a big burlap sack. He starts by sneaking up on one real slow, then dives at it with the sack open, but a chicken he somehow managed to catch already, pops out and makes a run for it. Daddy is swearing up a storm and takes to throwing the bag at the chickens. The bag gets close on one occasion and trips one up a bit, but it flaps its dusty wings and runs to the other chicken friends for consolation.
They gather in a pack, looking at Daddy suspiciously for they don’t want to go in no sack. Daddy is red faced and huffing and puffing. He squats on the chunk of wood the man was sitting on previously and puts his hands on his knees and blows out a big breath. He looks up and catches sight of me. “Get on over here! We gotta catch these here broilers before we get caught! Need these chickens for a soup and some fried chicken!”
Daddy is looking all around for the chicken man I led into the woods. “Where he go? You run away from him to buy us some time?” I say “He ain’t coming back here to catch us with his chickens.” Daddy says “what you mean? We gotta get a move on, elstwise he’s gonna come upon us pulling a bird robbery. Heard tell they can string you up for such an offence. Like stealing someone’s horse I expect. Rustlin’ is what we’re doing, and I don’t think anyone at all would take kindly to such an action. Especially out here.”
I shake my head and look him in the eye “he ain’t coming back” Daddy looks at me funny “why ain’t he coming back? He change his mind about wanting to live up here?” I say “he ain’t coming back nowhere” Daddy looks at me long and long. Then starts laughing, slapping his leg and whistling through his teeth. I join in and we is both laughing as the chickens roam around and kick in the dust. A wind rises and slaps the front door of the house like it’s clapping us on. “Well!” Daddy says, “get you a sack too and let’s get to gathering up these chickens!”
It took some doing to catch all them chickens, but they was all quiet in the bags now since they thought it was night and was time for sleepin’. Chickens is stupid. Along the way home, we came close to that giant dangerous pile of branches and I ain’t even give it a second glance.
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At the house, Momma straight away comes barreling out from the back room like she was doing something she ain’t want to be caught at. Daddy says “what’s all has got you movin’ so, woman? You doing something sneaky in our absence?” Momma is shaking her head no, but Daddy says “yes you was! I can read it all over you like pages in a paper. Words on pages in a paper. What all you been doing?”
She puts her head down but ain’t say nothing. “Scamp!” Daddy barks. I stand at attention. “Inspection time!” I hop to inspectin’. No changes in Momma and Daddy’s room, so I move to the back where the dog is and it’s got on a pair of clean clothes. I come back at a run “Momma done dressed up the dog! Used some people clothes and it’s back there, pretendin’ to be a human!” Daddy shakes his head sadly. “Waited for us to be gone to pull some strangeness. Why you put clothes on an animal for? You think clean clothes grow on trees?”
Momma says “I just wanted him to be warm” Daddy says “that’s why blankets were invented, woman. Dogs ain’t fit to be wearing clothes or nothin’. They might get the notion that they can sit at the table and take liberties, like telling us what all they deserve. Pretty soon, you got a dog in charge of you. Walking in front all the time and thinking it can come in a house before you, growling when you reach a hand for its food. Like it wasn’t you who put the food there in the first place.”
Daddy shakes his head “This is getting out of hand. Can’t we trust you to even follow the rules when we step out for a second to take care of business? Chicken business?” I chime in “right Daddy. We was takin’ care of chicken biz while she’s in here, dressing up the wildlife with our hard-earned clothing. Bet you even gave him a pat on the head even though he ain’t even do no tricks or nothin’. Bad enough I have to share a room with it without you treating it like it’s people.”
Daddy agrees “this is the last of it. Ain’t no more dressing up that hound, and ain’t no more lettin’ it take advantage of our good nature. Next thing you know, it’ll be wanting an allowance. Now get back there you dummy woman, and get them clothes off it. Better yet, get them clothes off it and get ready to get it on out of here. It ain’t natural to have a dog living in a house. They ain’t supposed to be inside, muddin’ up the carpet and the drapes and the couch. Hard earned couch and drapes. Howling at everything that happens outside. They just howl and bark for the sake of it. Just in case the thing they can’t see outside is somethings that needs to be barked at. Pitiful. Scoundrely. Dirty muddy creature’s place is outside in the wilds. Get it on out.”