Daddy asks suspiciously if I’m going to feed our food to that no-good pet of mine. I say no, they’s for me and I was going to make pancakes in the sun with some beans in them and I think it may be some good eatin’. He says, “well you just better be doing that since that food ain’t for no pet. They have to eat the special food. As if you didn’t know.”

I say, “oh yeah! The special food! I plumb forgot where I put it! I’m always forgetting stuff and I guess I would lose my fingers too if they weren’t so tightly attached to my hands!” Daddy thinks that’s funny since he’s the one that always says that. “Right on under the sink you crazy kid. In that sack.” He rolls his eyes at Momma and says “kids! Always forgettin’ one thing or another. Ain’t that right?” Momma gives him a small smile and goes back to covering her bruised face with her book.

I check under the sink and I see a sack all right and I know what it is already without looking inside. It’s our garbage, filled with peelings and rotting crumbles and a few empty cans. I say “right! Right where I left it! Darn well forgot!” I make a big show of holding it up as I walk outside. Jacob’s skin is starting to dry a bit, so that’s good. I ain’t going to feed him no garbage, so I have to make do with this flour and dried beans only I don’t rightly know how I’m going to do that without filing his mouth with powder. I might wind up choking him and make his lungs turn into dough for all I know.

I got the hose, which is good, and I give him small sips out of it. Then I get an idea what I seen Momma done one time while she was making biscuits with this here flour. I cup my hand and scoop out some flour from the bag and give it a little slosh of water from the hose. I mush it up a little and it’s slimy and slipping through my fingers, so I add a little more flour and it’s sticky now and clung to my fingers, but I roll it between my hands until it’s more stuck together and now I guess it’s ready to eat.

I pull little pieces off of the dough and feed him and they go down just fine. Jacob Is getting his sustenance and that makes me happy. I make another little dough ball, only this time I mix it better and it’s like a little cake in my hand. I go, “Jacob! I done made you a surprise! This here is your early birthday and you sure deserve it! You lucky I ain’t so hungry, elstwise I would gobble it all up before you even got one bite!”

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Which weren’t true. I was hungry too, but I can take care of myself and Jacob needs this more than I do. I can say out loud when I get hungry, but Jacob ain’t got no way of telling of his hunger needs besides slowly showing more and more of his bones through his skin. I pinch this cake up and feed him and it’s all gone. I pull the dried beans out of my pocket and they look like little tigers, what with the striped markings and all.

I say, “these here are tiger poops! These is a great delicacy and will make you so strong, you can hunt buffalo in the wilds for about a hundred days without getting tired. They can make you jump right up into a tree and all other manner of special powers, like claw swipin‘.” These beans is as hard as pebbles. I ain’t sure if you can swallow one whole without it just passing through you, like that time I ate a penny and it come on out a few days later, only slightly shinier than when it went in. I pop one in my mouth to test, and it ain’t have no flavor and it feels like a loose tooth inside my mouth. I spat it into my palm.

I need to get Jacob to eat these beans, for I get the feeling like flour and water together ain’t enough to make Jacob’s bones stop showing. I look all around for something I can use to spruce these beans up, but ain’t nothing come to mind. I can bash them on some rocks I guess, but then I would have to pick up all them little parts and they’ll still be hard, just smaller.

I pop another one in my mouth and give it a chew and after some work, it gets pasty and has a flavor like wet dust, but at least it done moistened it up alright. I swallow and look at Jacob for a good long while. I get an idea but it ain’t a pleasant one, but I guess if I can clean and hose his privates, this ain’t quite so bad as all that. “Now we’s great big hawks and I’m the biggest hawk, and you's still in the nest. You’s still a hawk, only you ain’t learned to fly yet, but you still fierce and have a beak that can rip through a metal car door. Still tough, only need a little help with about one or two things before you get big enough to take care on your own.”

I pop a handful of the beans into my mouth and chew them, and it’s like I filled my mouth with a handful of marbles, but I work them around with my teeth. Some spittle comes and helps with the chewing, and pretty soon they’s all in a paste and not hard no more and I spat the glob into my hand and look at Jacob.