"Father ..."

"Don't worry about it. It's nothing bad, your mother and your brother are there to accompany me. It was you that I'm worry about.", Huang Jia indeed seemed taking it lightly.

"Are you sure ... ", Huang Wen hesitated to say to his father that he might be wrong.

Huang Jia laughed again, "Ha ha ha, well why don't we just do as if it never happened. If I died tonight, then it's a real vision. If not, then isn't it a good thing?"

Huang Wen smiled and nodded his head. He didn't believe that his father actually saw a vision. He had seen demons and killed them. Didn't he supposed to believe in supra natural being then? He did, but not as something that was supra natural. He found them as natural, physical being. Be it demon, fairies, angel, devil and probably gods. They were something that might beyond his reach, but not something untouchable. He had killed demons after all.

He had insight into natural law. He might not had control over it, but given time and more insight, he might know how to work with it and manipulate it.

A supra natural existence that rules their life? Claiming to know when his father going to die?

He didn't buy it.

Huang Wen even had some idea, perhaps some supra natural existence did, actually came to his father. Which means it would come later and try to take his father's life. He really would like to see it try then.

"Now, more importantly is you, my son. You are going to face important fork roads in your life. You had been through many things to reach this place. You made some mistakes along the way. You might feel guilty about it, for what happened to me, your mother and your brother. It will affect how you  Let's talk about it now."

"I ... ", Huang Wen hesitated.

"Hey.... just tell me your days, just like the way you tell me what happened at school when you're home.", said his father encouragingly.

Huang Wen stuttered and there were many paused between sentences for the first few sentences. But as he kept telling his father all he had done so far, it was getting easier. He returned to his younger days, when he would come to his father and told him everything he'd been doing. Even his mischief.

His father sat there and listened attentively, without judging him. Once in a while he would sighed and squeezed his hand gently.

Huang Wen told his father everything that happened. From the time when the changes began, his fear and his excitement. How he killed one of his best friend. How he met Zhang Xuan, Chen Yao and Xia Yue. His relation with Zhang Xuan. About her father Zhang Hu and his three requests. About Ding Yun, his other best friend who became a zombie.

He told him of his guilt, for abandoning his family in search for his selfish desire. He thought it would feel awkward to tell his father about his relation with Zhang Xuan. How he felt about her, how much he desired her. But once he began to talk, many things he was keeping inside, easily came out.

He told him how glad he was to meet Ding Yun, but at the same time, he asked himself many times, what if he didn't kill Cao Bao back then? Perhaps Cao Bao would have a chance to regain his old self, just as Ding Yun.

He told his father, of his worries over Zhang Hu. At one side, he saw Zhang Hu as someone who created a place he could live in, a role for him to fill. But on the other hand, he worried that place, that role would became a cage for him.

"These thoughts ... these conflicting thoughts ... Like if he put the order in different sequence, then wouldn't there be a chance that I arrived at the right time to save mother and brother? But at the same time, if he wasn't there in the first place, would I even have the courage to come?", Huang Wen told his father.

"I just ... don't know ... Well about that part, I must admit, it was my mistake. I'm guilty of abandoning my family. But how about Ding Yun? If it happened that we have different opinions about him, then what should I do?"

Huang Wen had talked for hours, now that he told everything to his father, he felt much better. He was exhausted but relieved at the same time.

"You haven't grown up, have you? You came all the way here, broke through thousands of zombies and killed a man. Then after telling your father all you did, at the  end you asked me of, what should you do...", his father gently rapped his head.

"But you have to grow up. Because soon, I'm going to leave you too. When is it happen? That a boy turn into a man? Isn't it when a boy stop at relying on other and have the courage to take the responsibility of the result of his own action?", his father began his long speech.

Huang Wen used to be bored by his long speech, but now he was happy to hear it. He just wanted to sit there and listened for hours.

"Huang Wen, my son, I've told you many things about how to be a good brother, a good son, a good pupil, a good friend and many other thing. I'm afraid I forget to tell you one more thing and I pray to God that He would give me a chance to meet you again before I depart from this world."

"As you grow up and entered the world, you will find yourself juggling over many roles in your life. Sometimes you will find that roles expecting you to do a conflicting actions. You can't be a good son, without being a bad husband, or maybe you can't be a good husband and a good friend at the same time. Do you remember the story of Xu Shu who left Liu Bei to see his mother? That was just one of many possible conflicts."

"At the end you can't make everyone happy. At the end you will hurt someone, no matter what you choose."

"Then, what should I do father?", Huang Wen asked.

"Seek yourself, know yourself. Find your true self. Carefully inspect yourself. How you are affected by your bodily desire. How you do something to get other people's affection. Ask yourself, free from all of that, who are you? What is your true character? In all you do, do what you believe in. That even, if later in you life, you find that you had made a wrong choice. You could say with clear conscience that given another chance, you would still make the same decision.", said his father.

This text was taken from Royal Road. Help the author by reading the original version there.

"Father, isn't that being a selfish?", Huang Wen asked.

His father laughed, "Well, what do you have but your self? Son ... , I'm not saying you must pursue your own self desire. But I'm saying, find your own truth. It's not like I already know all the answer. It's not like I hold over the absolute truth in the universe and know the answer of all of your questions. But at least you can believe in my honesty and sincerity. When I no longer live in this world, to whom are you going to find an answer? Your father in law, Zhang Hu? Your soon to be wife, Zhang Xuan?"

"That's why you have to find it yourself. Your truth. You can't rely on anyone but yourself to find the truth. It will be your truth. You have to do it yourself to find it."

"Your own truth.", said his father to end his last advice.

"My own truth?", Huang Wen, half daydreaming, asked.

"Yes, your own truth. Only when you find such truth, you will have the conviction to face the world and you'll need it.", said Huang Jia.

Huang Jia looked at his son with eyes filled with love. Huang Wen was frowning, thinking of his father's advice. Not his father's truth. Not Zhang Hu's truth. Not Zhang Xuan's truth. Not even truth told by certain religion or certain faith. But his own truth.

Suddenly it was clear for him, how childish his behavior these past few weeks, months, perhaps even years. He was looking for an answer from an authoritative figures, be it writers of books, teachers, gurus, Zhang Hu, Zhang Xuan or whoever it was who seemed to have such knowledge to give him an answer. The fact was, he would never know whether their answer was true or not. His father was right, in his father case, at least he knew that his father would give his honest sincere answer. But even then, there was no guarantee that it would be the right answer.

It was his life and his decision. Why would he put the burden to choose the path of his life to other people?

It didn't mean that he should give up on his base desires either, for his conscience would convict him for doing something wrong. He needed to do the right thing. But it must be himself to find what was right and what was wrong. He wouldn't be able to know what was right and what was wrong, unless he understand the truth.

And he shouldn't rely on other people to find that truth. He must rely on his self, to find this truth. His own truth.

"I understand.", said Huang Wen.

His father smiled a fatherly smile and nodded his head, "Now, let me have some rest. It's been a while since I talk this much."

"I will be waiting for you here.", said Huang Wen, unwilling to leave his father's side.

"If you say so...", said Huang Jia.

Huang Wen helped Huang Jia to arrange the pillow and slept comfortably. Huang Jia settled down on his bed, closed his eyes and sighed.

Suddenly he opened his eyes and urgently said, "My son ... , now you feel like you understand everything I said and resolutely determine to find the truth. But as you walk on your path of life, there will be times when you lost your way. Or lose your will. But do not ever give up on it. If you fall a thousand times, then you have to get up a thousand times. Keep walking on that path."

"I promise.", Huang Wen nodded his head.

Huang Jia sighed, "Okay then, I believe you. Now let me have some rest."

Huang Jia closed his eyes again. Huang Wen sat on his chair, thinking of his father's words. Remembering his father's life. He realized, his father was such a man. He wasn't a great leader like Zhang Hu. He wasn't some frightening fighter like Shi Long. He was not a man who was known for his physical strength. He was not a man who was known for his sharp wit. But he was a man who was known for his integrity.

Huang Wen sighed, his father was a great man. He wondered why he didn't see it before. He couldn't say that his father was greater than Zhang Hu or someone else. His father was a great man in his own way.

The day passed like that, with Huang Wen sitting on the chair next to his father's bed. When it was time for lunch, Yu Hee entered the room with a pot of soups. She saw Huang Wen sat on the chair, half asleep. She smiled and gently woke him up.

"Hey... wake up..."

Huang Wen woke up and saw her with a pot of soup, he smiled and said, "Let me help father first."

It was then that they saw Huang Jia's stand still chest and stomach. Yu Hee's and Huang Wen's face grew pale. With a trembled hand, Huang Wen touched his father body gently. It was cold.

"Father ... father ...", he shook his father's body, tears began to well up in his eyes.

Yu Hee helplessly watched, before ran to find Song Jian.

That day, just as he said, Huang Jia passed away peacefully, under the watch of his youngest son. He had no regret, all he wanted to say to his son, he already said it. Whether he truly had a vision, during his fasting, or it was nothing but a hallucination and his death was a mere coincidence, no one could say for sure. Each had their own opinion.

His funeral was simple. Many of his neighbors from Tingdan Village came to his funeral. Just as other people in life, there were people who like him, there were people who dislike him. But all who met him in life, respected him. That was how many people, young and old, came to his funeral. Huang Wen silently sat and wait, greeting those who came and did his part as the son.

Although his father was buried the next day. For three days and three nights, Huang Wen was silently knelt, fasting and waiting on his father's grave. He forgot about his men who waited for him outside Gutian Town. He refused to speak with Song Jian and Yu Hee, who persuaded him to leave the cemetery and rested.

When the third day ended, the sun went down and the night came. He got up and left to find Yu Hee and Song Jian.