There are times I feel like forgetting her, but whenever I see her, these feelings grow stronger than before.

She chose the person who can give the things she needs. And here I am, watching them from afar.

I just can’t get away with them. Why do I need to be around with her? Why did I say yes to remain by her side? Why do I keep hurting myself for every things she does?

I just want to let go of this pain. I want to accept that she will never be mine. Even if I love her more than anyone else, I want to let these feelings off me. But how? How should I do it? Can someone help me?

“Hah, I found you.”

It’s the familiar voice. A voice I never wish to hear. Throughout the radiance of the varieties store around, he brims. The person of the person I liked chose to be with…

What am I hoping for, Kei will find me? There’s no way for her to find me, right? We’re friends, but she has this person. So… “Where’s Kei?”I asked.

“She went to finds a spot for us. You suddenly disappeared so I looked for you.”

I see. So this is really it, huh. Yeah, I need to accept this. I need to endure the pain and the reality that she will never really be mine. I need to forget these feelings for her.

But there’s a question I have. “Why?”

“What do you mean, why?”

“You have your time with her. You should think of her instead of me, you know?”

Yeah, right. You have her for yourself. I’m just a third-wheel to the two of you. Even if you agreed to invite me here, there’s no way for me to stay here. I’ll just keep torturing myself.

“Well, Senior Kei said you come with us, as your companion… I want you to enjoy it with us.”

Huh. So you’re taking a pity on me? “Is that so…?”

Bullshit. You just want to rub to me that you’re the one she wants. Don’t give me shit, you asshole. I passed on him and walks on the crowd as he follows along.

“Yeah. You’re Senior Kei’s friend, so I also want to be your friend.”

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Be your friend? Shut up. You’re just making me fool out of friendship. You’re not that kind. It’s me who hates you, with every fiber I have. Right, it’s because you stole my Kei.

“I don’t want to drag you two guys down. So the time I saw you hold hands, I feel like there’s no way for me to be with you two.”

I swift in between the crowds, avoiding him at all cost. As I recall that moment, I knew to myself that he can be someone that can make her happy. He’s there to make her smile.

“Kei said she still wants to be friends with me, and these feelings I have for her grows further. I don’t know what to do. She chooses you, yet…”

Tears swell in my eyes. I don’t want to cry, but my feelings are mushed up. I still feel the pain striking like a nail, hitting by a hammer.

“I know she chose you, and I don’t want to be a burden to you. I’m just a sore-thumb—”

In a sudden, I felt something grasp from my hand.

“Sorry, I don’t think you’re annoying or anything. I don’t want you to drift apart from Kei, just because you have feelings for her.”

The sudden grasp he does caught me off guard, together with the next lines I never expected to hear. “You’re a special person for Senior Kei, and I don’t want to take that away from you just because she choose me.”

What…? Why is he saying all of this? He really is taking pity on me—

That moment we passed the crowd, his solemn expression captured me. The lights from the stalls simply illuminate on his face. “I want you and Senior Kei to retain your relationship. No matter how much you want to go away from us, I won’t allow it. Because I don’t want to see Kei sad.”

And through those lines he left, my heart somewhat feel flutter.

Of all the things I keep thinking, there’s this person that I don’t want to let go. It’s as if like, Kei’s the one who delivered those lines.

As our eyes locked, I feel bashful to look so I avert away from him. “I thought he’s taking a pity on me, but…”

Inside me is a warm feeling plucked in. My chest feels the warmth of his words. We stride lightly to find where Kei is.

It’s weird. I feel like getting carried away by him. And my face starts to feel hot as well. It’s then I noticed our hands still linked to each other. He does know I’m gripping tightly to his hand, right?

I want to say something… but what? There isn’t anything I can think of.

“Kira…” I called his name. That made my heart throbs fast. What? Why? He’s the person I hate. Why this sudden feeling?

“Ah, yeah?” he halted as well and turns to me. My grip on his hand tightened further, while trying to compose the next words I want to say. “Uh, I… I—”

“I want to say thank you.” but it was halted by a familiar voice. “Kira, Kagome!” from the distance, a familiar voice called out. We turn and sees the person calling. Waving from the uphill is Kei, as she smiles at us.

Her smile is soothing, and I was happy to see that. Even if it wasn’t for me anymore. I want to move forward with the happiness she has for the person she chose.

And that person… still holding my hand. Wait… eh? Do I need to let go? But I feel like his hands are warm. And…

From there, Kira let go of his hand. The sudden fluff feeling I have suddenly vanished. Why? There isn’t a way for me to be happy about it? As the moment he stepped away from me, I unconsciously grabbed his shirt.

“Senior Kei’s there. What’s the matter?”

“Ah… huh? No, no… nothing.”

Huh? What am I doing? Why do I grab his shirt? There’s no reason for that? I composed myself and immediately follows him. Making an excuse for Kei that I need to go to the toilet, she immediately forgive me.

Now, the night we have is kind of weird, but I enjoy it. Yet, I feel like not sitting beside Kei. I feel somewhat comforting beside Kira. Is it just only my imagination, or might be the words he said to me to comfort these feelings of mine.

But somehow, I don't feel despondent. Since Kei wants to stay friends with me, and that’s enough. These feelings, I will cherish it until the day I forget about her.