How would someone define the feelings they have when they’re really in love with someone? There are varieties of definitions, interpretations and meanings given to each person.

And that doesn’t really apply much on others as well. Each one defines, varieties of circumstances, differentiating on the actions one should feel; albeit, the emotions they truly hold for someone.

This time, I don’t know why… but the person who I felt at ease since the time I meet suddenly dashed out. I did just conveyed what I truly feel about him. These feelings aren’t fabricated at all.

By the time we meet, there’s something in me that draws towards that person. My heart aches, whenever I think about him. Whenever I got away from him, the longing feeling to meet him and talk.

His presence alone captures me.

His looks alone, his voice… everything about him makes me want to tell the words I meant. Yet….

I just watched him running away. Without looking back. Without saying anything. Without stopping to see me for the last time. Without conveying what he feels for me. No matter what he does feel for me, I’ll gladly accept it.

Because I already found the missing piece of my life.

***

“I’m back…”

From the front door of my house I greet to make someone aware of my presence. “Welcome back!” a woman in her early 40’s greets at me, wearing apron on her body. It’s my mom, a good housewife and mother to me and dad.

Currently, she’s cooking dinner for us later. I smile at her and nods. I took off my shoes and go upstairs to my room. “How’s school today?” mom asked. “It’s good. I ate lunch with my friends. I’ll just go take a nap.”

“All right, I’ll call when dinner;s ready.”

At last, I got home. Opening the door of my room, I placed my bag on the chair from the study table and lay down, face forward the bed. The comfy feeling of my bed sipped by my body.

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Today is something I never expected. I’m Kei Sakagami, 18 years old and currently a second year highschool. I never experienced falling in love, even in a romantic relationship with someone.

But that guy named Kira…. why…?

My thoughts got mushed as I recalled the things I said awhile ago. “I like you. No, I think… I’m in love with you.”

Burying my face on the pillow, I screamed out.

What the fuck am I saying!? What the fuck was that?! It’s the first time we saw each other… and blurting such embarrassing words! I’m so embarrassed!

My feet wiggles as I keep screaming while buried on the pillow. A few minutes passed and I felt fine now. Yeah, though my embarrassment still shows, I don’t think that it will subside soon.

Lying my back on the bed, I stared at the ceiling. Pondering all the things happened today, and the time we ate at the diner. I did act bold in front of him, huh?

Yeah, it’s because of what I feel. I feel secured and the debt of gratitude to him as my benefactor. It’s all about it. This is just the first day of our meeting. I might just be struck from the happenings.

How I wish that’s how it’s supposed to be. I get my phone and looks at the track from MeTube. (Parody of YouTube) and a recommended song happen to popped on my notification.

“Make It Real…?” I utter on the title of the song. Plugging my earphones, I started playing the music. Although my English understanding is average, I can fully understand the song’s message.

From the beat to the lyrics, and the melody of the song, every scene happens between me and Kira at that time replays in my mind. I keep recalling the thing he does, and the time we see each other.

Everything that happened… even his presence makes me feel at ease.

If it’s not love… then what? I want to understand it. I want to know what these feelings of mine has. I want to know… what kind of person Kira is.

My left hand clenched on my chest as the time he ran away from me. After the words I mean to convey, without him telling me what he truly feels about it, I just left hanging, while watching him disappear like a mirage in my sight.

“Kira…”

Mumbling his name, a ticklish feeling felt in my heart.

I want to see him. If only there’s a way…. to see him once more. If only I stopped him from going.

I don’t know if this is love or not. If I happen to see him tomorrow…. if I happen to have a talk to him tomorrow…. I must be assure to these feelings.

Tomorrow,. I must tell to myself if these feelings of longing is really an admiration or love. Tomorrow… tomorrow… Kira and I.

***

I decided to take bus to avoid the molestation. Although the commuting hours would take long, if it means for my safety, I’ll take it. I’m not so sure if I will see Kira today.

But let’s not just lose hope; there’s 24 hours in a day, there might be an incidence that we will meet halfway. And as the bus proceeds to go on the way… I happen to see the person boarding on the same vehicle.

At that time I realized, this isn’t just a coincidence now. This must be fate… right? If I’m right… then Kira is the person I found. The time we saw each other that day, and the moment we have right now.

I am sure of it. Kira Miyamoto is the one I have been longing to meet. The fate that binds us together, and the feelings fleeting within me right now is genuine.

That’s right…. I, Kei Sakagami, fall in love for the first time. “Hey, Kira.” with a smile on my lips, I can’t hide the true feelings I have for this person. And now, I only need to convey this to him.

And this time… I will make this right.