“All right, let’s do this….” Heaving a deep sigh, I open the door of my house. The morning sunbeam reflects through my eyes. “I’m going now!” I greeted before heading out.

Behind me is mom standing, “Take care, Kagome.”

My loafers clacked on the asphalt road as I take the way to the station. Every morning, I’m looking forward to see Kei. She’s the reason I feel energetic. I really love her, especially when she talks.

I love everything about her, but she can’t love me. Because I know there’s someone special she has been yearning.

Although there’s that person, but I can’t just show any weakness. Kira, you’re not that cool like me, but I know you are a formidable person. You swoon Kei, making her fall head over heels for you.

And that makes me feel insecure to myself.

I feel the inferiority towards this body, and my own gender. Why… I should be the one for Kei but…

No, nothing will happen even if I nagged about it. There’s nothing for me to get mad about myself. Kira says he wants to help me get closer to Kei, and I should trust him for that.

He shows no interest to her. He does bother when Kei fills the gap of personal space between them. He also thinks that I should be the one for her. Yeah, that’s right… Kira is a good natured person.

If it’s him, I….

Huh? What am I thinking? Kira is Kira. He’s the reason why Kei is drawn to him instead of me. Kei’s feelings should be mine. She’s mine.

“Agh, I don’t know what Kei saw to him. Kira isn’t good looking at all. He’s kind of introvert and a little awkward in nature; there’s no good points on him.”

Yeah, I also feel inferior when he’s around. Whenever I see Kei looking at him, I get mad. Why… Kei must be the one looking for me. I am here for her. No matter what happens, I will always stand beside her.

I wish Kira may find a girl for him. In order for Kei to divert her feelings for me. I am the one who can make Kei happy.

And not long after, the wish I have suddenly happened.

One afternoon, one classmate of his told us he already went with someone. Oh, that’s impressive. That awkward in nature person suddenly hooked up with someone. This shows he’s really eager to get me and Kei close. Way to go, Kira!

However, that made Kei feel down. She even asked his whereabouts. In no luck, we both go home together. The good thing is, I have Kei for myself. The worst is, no matter how I approach her to lift her spirit, she can’t just cheer up.

This text was taken from Royal Road. Help the author by reading the original version there.

Since I’ve blown the fact that Kira might dating someone else. It’s good to know that, because Kei will be mine. But that’s how I thought.

“I don’t think Kira will date any girl.”

While walked out of school, Kei utters. “Huh? What do you mean?” I asked.

“He doesn’t seem the kind of guy who will just hook with anyone. I sense that he’s a sincere guy who wants to know more of the other person.”

How does she sure about that? There’s no way she knows something about him.

“What do you think?” turning her head to me, Kei asked.

“What… do I think?” I mumbled, wryly smiling at her. Honestly speaking, I don’t even know. And I don’t plan to know about it. Since Kira’s a guy, I know he would be happy if someone confessed to him, right? Everyone does.

“I believe in Kira. If he starts dating someone…”

Kei pouts. She’s really cute, I love her! But no. We’re talking about Kira here. “What should I do!? I mean, Kira and that girl starts dating, and she might think I’m getting in their way?”

“Well, yeah… you could say that.” I nonchalantly replied. Kei turns to me once more, showing frustrated looks on her face. “No! I can’t accept it! We’re all friends! He shouldn’t date someone yet!”

“Why so eager not to make his personal life happy?” I asked. Yeah, why should she bother? I’m here for you, duh?

“Don’t you think about it?! If Kira has a girlfriend, he won’t be able to go with us to and from school! I can’t accept that!”

Whoa! is that your reasoning?! You know without Kira, your feelings supposed to be mine. You are the only I care about… these are the thoughts I want to say out, but I kept it.

“But what can I do, it’s not that I have the right to stop him, right?”

After her sudden burst, Kei heaves a tepid sigh as her shoulder drooped down. I don’t know what to say right now. There are no words that can comfort her, not even the thought I have for her.

And my chest clumps tight whenever she says his name. “I guess there’s no way for you to love me, huh?”

Yeah… this might be it. Until Kira finds someone who he likes, Kei will never falter to make her mine.

”What are you saying? Of course, I love you!”

That sudden phrase jumped my heart out. I twitched and looks at her. “Huh?”

“There’s no way a friend wouldn’t love a friend, right? We’re friends, so I love you!”

Ah, yeah…. what do I expect? She doesn’t even see me as a potential partner. Yeah, right. “Don’t ever you say that I can’t love you, Kagome. I love you, more than anything in this world! Even if I get a lover, my love for you will never fade.”

It’s kind of overwhelming to hear such words from someone you love. And I feel happy about it.

I feel happy and at the same time…. it will just stuck there. I’m always just be a friend to this person. “So, you love me too, right?”

A question popped to her. “Huh?” I mumbled.

“Hmm? Don’t you love me, Kagome?”

The love I have for you is different from what you mean. This love I have for you surely don’t understand by everyone. But all I want is to love you, and stay by your side.

“Yeah, I love you…. because you’re my friend.” I smile. I smile with a pain struck in my chest. The love I want to convey isn’t something a normal girl can say to her friend.

The love I want is to convey, and reassure that even if we’re the same sex, I can fulfill everything you needed. I want us to be together, even if the world is against us. Even if everything turns away from us.

That’s the love I want. Yet….

“Really? Then don’t say that word again, okay?!”

Kei reached to my hand and firmly holds it. “Don’t say I won’t love you, because no matter what you do, I will always be here for you. Okay?”

Her warmth wrapped through me. Even if those words reassures the bonds of friendship we have, I must still cherish it. “Okay… I promise.”

That’s right. Right now, it doesn’t matter. As long as she’s here by my side, everything is enough.