If loving someone would be the worst thing to do, then I am willing to be a bad person to pursue what my heart truly desires. If it means to be that others left me out, I am willing to accept it all.

Because the person only for me is Kei and nothing else.

Kei is the one I truly want. She’s a part of me. The significant half of me… and the person I only want to be with for the rest of my life.

But there’s a problem: that guy named Kira. He and his presence makes my Kei happy, that I, the one who must be with her, makes her happy. I want to eradicate Kira, but how…?

No, I must stay positive. I know Kei, she’s just friendly with everyone. And now, she just treats Kira like someone she owes. It’s because of him that she can still smile. Despite of my jealousy towards him… I can’t just hate him at all.

Leaving me and Kira, Kei paid for our meal. And somehow, this guy named Kira seemed not comfortable facing me. I must confront him, once and for all. I need to tell him he should make distance for Kei.

Should their closeness continues, I don’t know what may happen. However… “I want to help you.”

That absurd words rings to me. Kira, this guy is weird. He said there’s nothing between him and Kei. And I should believe in it. But how… I don’t trust him. I must be on guard at all times.

Kira wants to help me get closer to Kei. Huh. Like I will be fall for it. I’m not dumb-ass to believe on his words. There’s no way he can be trusted. I must remain hostile to him.

But what happens when Kei knows what attitude I show to him? She might get mad at me. And I don’t want it. Now Kira says “Because I like girl’s love.”

No, you’re just a creep. Indulging in between two girls’ romance? I want to puke out. However, his face show stern, announcing that this is a serious matter. Oh, really?

You’re making me laugh here. You’re trying not to get in the way between me and Kei? This is preposterous. There’s no way you want to help me out. I know you just want to pretend helping me but will snatch Kei away.

You’re a man, and I’m a woman. So I must do something to make you feel more uncomfortable.

That’s right; you won’t understand what I truly feel. Kei came back, asking what are we talking about. I announced that Kira is a homosexual so she must disgust to him. That way, Kei will distance herself from him and she will stick with me.

But then…

“Well, I don’t mind if you’re gay, Kira. I still like you, the way you are.”

In between those thoughts she said, the true feelings she hides. The dark emotion stirring inside me wrapped in. Why…? I know she says a different meaning, but why I think that’s the words behind it.

“I like you, and Kagome as well. You two are my friends, right? So what gender preferences you two like doesn’t even matter to me.”

This story originates from a different website. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.

Adding the words Kei suggested, the enormous feelings suddenly subside. Like those words are like cold water splashes at me. Kira seemed troubled as he looked at me.

Does he saw my expression awhile ago? I hope not. I don’t need his pity. After all, Kei is mine. She should be mine alone.

***

Arriving home, I lay down on the bed while thinking about the event today. That Kira suddenly popped out of nowhere. Because of him, Kei was saved. And because of him, that I feel awful to myself.

“Damn it.” I cussed, biting my lower lip. I feel inferior to him. Because of my own ignorance… because of my own weakness. I am mad at myself, for not protecting Kei from that old bastard.

It must be me… I must be the one she must be grateful for.

***

The next day, I board on the train. I know this time, there will be no men who molested Kei. Because I will be attentive now. I must be on guard at all times for that won’t happened again.

It’s still crowded inside. But something’s weird.

Why is Kei hasn’t board the train? Did she oversleep? No way…. Kei is a diligent student, and a person who everyone is look up to. There’s no way she will get tardy.

Or is it?

I got off from the station near the school and exits the station immediately. No way, there’s no way she will go absent today. Could it be…. she’s with…

“No… there’s no way.”

I mumbled, rushing on the sidewalk. Passing along with the other students, I keep running. I am confident with my stamina since I play basketball, but my mind keeps taunting me to think of something.

Arriving at that specific place, the place where I saw her for the first time in my first year. It’s as if I got time leaped from the past as that certain view captures my eyes. Her beauty dances along with the spring breeze; my heart quivers to look at her image.

But I got the reality that someone is standing in front of her. The guy named Kira.

Why…? Why is she with him? Does she really like him? No way…. they just met yesterday. But her smile…. that smile she shows to him, seems she really got captivated by that man.

“It can’t be…”

My teeth gritted; my fists clenched tightly. I want to confront Kira right now. I want to smack him out. I want to tell him to stay away from her. From us. From this place. I want him gone.

“But who am I to tell him about it?” I mumbled.

Yeah, just who am I? I’m sure Kei will get mad at me if I do it. Yeah, this won’t change anything, so let’s just pretend. That’s right; pretending that I am not in pain would be the best thing.

“Kei…”

My voice starts trembling, but I hold back. My feelings are bursting but I must hold it. The two turns on my way, as I move a step towards them. Each step is heavy; I don’t even know IF I CAN MAKE IT THROUGH.

But there’s no way I should give up. Kei is the reason I want to proceed on my life. Kei is the reason why I keep striving. Kei is the reason why I am still standing.

Kei is the reason, even if it’s painful…. that I am still in love.

I catch up with the two. Kei explains why she didn’t start boarding the train, and Kira… he said that Kei and him meet in the bus station. Did these two talked about where they should meet?

I want to ask Kira about it… however… ”Ah! I was exploring which transport will be the best to go to school. Well, now that I know the train will be the best choice, I’ll use it from now on!”

He seemed like I was about to ask a question, so he quickly answered, though stuttering along the way and dashed away from us. I never had a chance to ask.

“Kira…” Kei mumbled. Her face show concern from what Kira did. “Might be, he needs to go to the comfort room?”

Adding the phrase, Kei shows a wry smile and glances at me. “Don’t you think?”

Huh? What’s this…?

Did she want to ask me that? No, there’s no way…. But now that we’re alone, this might be a chance for me. Is it the reason why Kira ran away from us? Does he really want to help me get closer to Kei?

“Kagome?”

Kei cracked my thoughts, as I jolt out and looks at her. “Huh. Might be? That guy might eat spoil at breakfast.”

I let out a chuckle, as Kei giggled.On the spring morning of April,. somewhat and somehow…. my deprecating feelings subsides. I don’t know if it’s Kira’s way of showing his action towards helping me.

But now, all I want is to cherish this moment. Maybe he’s really saying the truth. I don’t know and I don’t want to know.

For this moment, walking side by side with the girl I love is the thing I only want.