The sound of alarm blared through my ears; nurturing thoroughly like something’s getting on me. My body twitches as I raised my head up.

My body feels kind of heavy, and I feel somewhat drowsy. I noticed the book and pen on top of the table. Huh…. why am I sleeping on my study table? Wait…?

The notes I jot down clearly seen in the page. I read it again, recalling every details happen in my memory. “Yeah, this should be the thing happen…” I utter and smiles. Now, I should prepare for school.

I stood up from the chair but my knees become wiggly. I also feel sluggish; my sight becomes blurry. My body feels heavy, as the time I feel a heavy bang through. Realizing that my body collapsed, I let out a soft grunt.

“What…?” I mumbled.

I felt nauseous. My eyes becomes blurry.

“I… I….” I grunt.

At the door is a voice calling to me. A cacophonous voice. “Kira… Kira!” before my vision blackens, I saw someone entered my room. And from there, everything fades.

****

My eyes opens a few moments after I collapsed. “You seemed to wake up, huh?”

A familiar voice I heard somewhere lured over my ears. The whole area is white, and seems I’m in a void. Turning my head sideways, I saw a man, the one I saw before, standing beside me.

Now that I recall, the man standing in front of me is my old self from the previous life. It is me. “Hello, new me.”

“Huh…?” I mumbled.

“You’re the new me. The one who can proceed to continue the story I’ve regretted not to finish.”

“What…? What do you mean?”

The man, whose the previous me in the previous life smirks. “You, the one who reincarnated as the person who doesn’t even exist in the tale, becomes the one that is valuable.”

His eyes gazes at me, and taps my shoulder. “Like I said, you’re the one who can finish this tale. This is all about you. This is your tale. The one you desired.”

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I got confused. Why do I need to be in this tale? I don’t even supposed to exist in the first place. “Why? Why it’s mine?”

“Because of what we had once. You once fell in love with a special girl who came in your life.”

Now he said it. That girl… the girl who made me feel somewhat special in my life once. The girl who gave me the meaning of love. “That person made you feel loved, and gave the reason for you to see the world in another perspective.”

He speaks like he reminisce everything. I almost forgot about it, but he recalled everything I don’t want to remember. “And the part where she just fell out of love from you, because she found someone she thinks better.”

Yeah, that part… that part that I altered the thought that I was the one who felt out of love. That woman found someone, a same gender, thinking that person can give better than I can give.

“The reason why you start pairing girls, is to not remembering how you made fool out of everything you’ve done for that girl.”

That’s right; the thing I hide thoroughly my subconsciousness, is the fact that I hurt deeply by the person I truly loved. I started finding the answer through reading Girl’s Love novel.

Pretending that I love it, but it turns out it’s a mechanism for me to escape the once past I had, and imagining myself putting on the heroine’s thoughts. That I should be the person making the heroine happy.

“You’ve hurt yourself much, new me. You’ve secluded yourself to the ghost of the past. The reason you got reincarnated is to make yourself be better on your next life.”

“But how…? How should I supposed to do anything? I mean, this is their story…”

The man, which is my old self, didn’t retort but he just smile at me. “It’s your life now. You are the one who can make things right. This is your story, so make sure you do the things you’re supposed to.”

“.…I don’t know.” I utter.

“It’s in your heart.” the man points on my chest. “Follow what your heart desires. What you truly want to have. You have your answer within you all along, and I know you can make this through.”

That words left to me surges through my chest. Like a warm feeling wrapped around, I feel the comfort of having someone looks after me.

“It’s all about you, Kira. This is all about you…”

Right then and there, my vision gets blurry. The person in front of me vanished without a trace. “It’s all about me, huh…?”

I started to walk. Without any distance or place to go, I just walked through the endless mirage of the void. Through everything that I’ve been before, I know what I should do.

****

An unfamiliar ceiling shown on my view as my eyes open. “Kira?” from beside me is a woman showing anxiousness on her face. “Mom?” I called.

Yeah, right beside me is the woman who I saw the time I got reincarnated. The one who has been telling me to be safe and welcomes me home as soon as I arrived.

“Thank God, you’re awake now. You have a high fever.” she utters to me and grabs my hand. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m good, thank you… mom.” I smile at her. Tears starts to welled from her eyes, as she smiles back at me. “Are you hungry? I will buy some porridge…”

“Yeah, I feel hungry now.” I answered. I’m not that hungry, but I guess if I don’t eat, mom would be worry about me. Yeah, the person who talked to me said this is my life now.

It’s mine to claim, and there’s no need to worry about my actions. The life I had once, the regret I had once, I leave it all behind. There’s nothing gain for me to ponder about it.

And this time, I want to compromise with what I truly feel about. What I truly feel about Kei?