I summoned Mr. Hebert, “Roland Hebert, Phil the Fishmonger summons thee.” I called and called, time after time, and he didn’t answer. Everyone but Lord Lodestone got bored and left.
Lord Lodestone asked, “Who art thou summoning?”
I smiled. “A friend to tell him I am okay for now. Since I have given up heaven and will come here when I die, not that I think heaven would have had me, I might as well go home now.”
Lord Lodestone said, “Whilst thou were on the ground reeling from one gift too many, Hippy-dippy sped up time so we wouldn’t have to wait an entire day or week before thou couldst be gifted and turn into a rooster.
“I didn’t bother to explain it to her, because she never catches on, that speeding time in the same Fairyland that thou art in doesn’t make things cook any faster. Thy friend in Real probably didn’t have time to answer or even know what the sped-up buzzing noises were. We’re running at sixty times sixty times as fast.”
I started to nod but felt a bit dizzy still. I just wanted to leave so I slowed the time to match with Real and summoned Mr. Hebert, “Roland Hebert, Phil the Fishmonger summons thee.”
Lord Lodestone put his hand on my shoulder. “Tell him, ‘Phil the new king of Fairy summons thee.’”
Mr. Hebert connected.
Lord Lodestone patted my shoulder and let go. “Let’s keep this our secret, at least for a while. But don’t leave ‘til we figure out how to be sure that thou canst come back. Most of what a Fairy king can do, they can’t do in Real.”
Mr. Hebert asked, “Everything safe?”
I said, “Probably. I guess. I am just checking in, but I’ll be summoning you to come home soon. Do you want to see the Fairyland?”
I opened the connection so Mr. Hebert could see. “Lord Lodestone, canst thou give me a tour of the Fairyland?”
Lord Lodestone bowed. “Yes, my liege. Thou didst say that thou wert a fishmonger. Wouldst thou like to see the lakes?”
I nodded.
Mr. Hebert asked, “Did he call you his liege?”
I said, “Things seem to have worked out.”
#
As we walked, I paid special attention to the shadows. This was new territory. Lodestone and I walked for a couple of hours before a pair of crows landed and turned into Fairies.
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A muscular man asked, “Why art thou walking milords?”
Lodestone said, “Meet the new king of this Fairyland.”
The men kneeled. “Long live King Snipsnort!”
I said, “I thank thee. Is that really my title?”
Still kneeling, the man with the big hat said, “Thou may namest this realm, and that name will be thine.”
Lodestone said to me, “Ask them to rise.”
I said, “Please rise and forgive me for I’m new to this role.”
They got up and the man in the hat asked, “Didst thou really defeat the duchess?”
Lodestone said, “She seems to like him. Who knows how it will end up though? She doesn’t yet know that he’s our new king, so we might not keep him for long.”
The men gave me nervous looks.
The muscular one said, “Her scream can shut down all thought. When she raises to a full tantrum, no one can resist her rage.”
Lodestone said, “Only the roosters dare stand before her. The rest of us flee.”
I asked, “Art thou kidding me?”
Lodestone said, “No, roosters are strong against raging spirits. Evil spirits too. And they bring good luck.”
I narrowed my eyes and looked at the three of them. They all seemed perfectly serious. “Seems like chickens get slaughtered and roosters can’t do anything about it.”
Big Hat said, “Well, humans can handle them pretty well, but that’s the scissor, rock, paper thing. Evil spirits possess humans, humans eat roosters, roosters make evil spirits flee. That sort of thing. If thou hast never been a spirit and felt the insane power of a rooster’s call making thee turn and flee in terror, thou canst not possibly understand.”
Muscle Guy was looking at the purse I was carrying then back at me. He noticed I saw and bowed. “Well, we should get back to work.”
Big Hat said, “Long live Snipsnort.”
Muscle Guy and Lodestone said, “Long live Snipsnort.”
Lodestone pointed to a trail up to a large gentle slope. A few men were repairing the stone walls on either side of the trail. “We should probably introduce thee when we see folk. But thou might want to do something about that purse.”
I looked at the purse. It was clearly and obviously a girl’s purse. It was cute with a cat face shape. If I tried to hide it, it would be even worse, and it might even look like I stole it.
I adjusted it to be a bit toward the back and then worried it might get stolen, so I moved it back to the front. “I don’t have any good options, Lord Lodestone, so I’ll just have to be brave.”
Lord Lodestone winced, looking at the purse. “Maybe I should introduce thee later. I didn’t quite realize this was going to take so long. I have always flown. Now that I think about it, we are only halfway there. How about I show thee a nice stream? There is one near.”
I said, “Fly to the lake, I’ll keep up.”
He turned into a crow and leapt to the wall beside the trail. I stepped into his shadow as he took to the air. He flew and I stayed on the ground taking detours in shadow to explore and returning to his shadow to cross open areas. We crossed a stream. Then he sailed over a village on the edge of a lake with boats that had nets hung on the sides.
Lodestone landed on a stone pier and turned back into himself. I stepped out of the shadow a short distance from the pier and walked to the bank of the lake. Small fish darted away as my shadow shaded the water.
Lodestone asked, “Art thou scared of the water?”
I laughed. “If I didn’t have a purse that I needed to return and should probably keep dry, I would show thee just how scared of the water I am. This has taken a while, and I should go back to Real and take care of a few things. If I summon thee, wilt thou answer and bring me hence?”
Lodestone said, “I should perhaps get back to the throne then.”
I bowed and summoned Mr. Hebert