Swampy was sitting out on the pier stirring the water with her bamboo pole. I changed into me in my swimsuit and sat beside Swampy.
She did a double take when she saw my face. “Phil, I knew you were being made pretty, but with the water ripples, I wasn’t sure how it turned out. When I get my mass back, do you think they’ll do work on me? I don’t have to be pretty. Probably shouldn’t be pretty, it makes things complicated.
“A lot of jerks don’t respect a woman, ugly or pretty, but if a girl is pretty, for most men it’s kind of like having a big dog that bares its teeth at you and growls every time you make a move. You always know the dog is there, and you can’t really develop an easy relationship with the owner.
“So, like most foolish girls, I have thought about being pretty more that a few times, but I don’t think I want to go there.”
I kicked the water and made waves for her to look at. “Well, your Fairy form is more than a bit cute. I’m planning a sort of tree sculpture. Could I get your permission to use your likeness in it?”
She said, “The musical tree has been showing up in a lot of probabilities. I’d love to be part of it. As far as what you have to do in Real, don’t worry about it right now. A lot of things have resolved to clarity so it might be simpler than you think.
“We have a new visitor. He comes and goes. I think your stepfather’s spirit is getting ready to leave his body.”
I nodded. “He didn’t look well. I should take him to my hospital world.”
Swampy stirred the water. “He’ll never forgive himself if you do that. As it is, his spirit runs off and hides. The images of him shows him hiding off in the swamp for years before he’ll come out to talk. Hopefully, the regrets aren’t too much even without you taking him to get well for a bit.”
I asked, “What if they are too much?”
Swampy said, “Even the dead don’t know what really happens when you die. I had a mortal body, now that is gone. I have my mind and a lot of my memory, but that is odd, too. There is another part of me that I think is really immortal, but I don’t know what it is any more than I know what God is.
“Some Fairies die and come back. Some Fairies just fade away. It is almost like things gather to make a person. Talents and passions and needs. Even anger, maybe. Odd things. Then I think they get worn like a body by a soul and then that gets worn by a mortal body.
“Don’t take this as truth. I’m just guessing. But if a Fairy doesn’t have what it takes to hold it together, I think the passions and talents just walk away. Well, not walk, but whatever bits of dream do when they are not being dreamed about.”
I said, “I always figured it was just electronic impulses in a matrix of brain cells firing at random.”
Swampy said, “Don’t make me hit you with my cane.”
I nodded. “Okay, here’s what I figured out when I was still just a simple Goblin who had finished second grade and read the Bible a few times. Sometimes when you sit in a tree and the wind comes blowing through, you can feel the life and awareness in the wind. Sometimes when you toss your line out, you know that a big fish is going to grab it. Sometimes you feel a powerful sorrow that makes your chest hurt to cry and you don’t know who it is for or what it means. Sometimes the light comes through the clouds, and you know you were meant to see that moment of beauty.
“What all that means to me is that there is something more than any Goblin or Fairy knows. I like hearing all the ideas of what might be, but until I have to act on them or something is revealed to me, I’m not committing to much. I try to mostly practice what church folk say is Christianity, but I don’t think for a moment I’m going to heaven when I die. Fortunately, I have a nice Fairyland, and it looks like there are four Devils that don’t seem likely to drag me off for eternal torture anytime soon.”
Swampy said, “Keep stirring the water and tell me all about what has been happening. I may see something we missed.”
I sat on the pier beside Swampy looking down at the water I was slowly stirring with my feet.
“I have a hospital Fairyland with three physicians. Hada is the oldest, Placy is the little girl, and Asper looks like she might be about to graduate high school. They already call the hospital world ‘St Phil’s,’ but they say it for the apostle Philip who is my namesake. I guess that’s okay. After making a bunch of the spider excavators out of aluminum, a lot of the Fairies in what was Fairy Dynamics got enthusiastic about the project, and they were all calling me King Snipsnort. After telling them I was planning at one time to call the place Rougarou, they kind of jumped at the name.”
Swampy asked, “You’re king there, too?”
I shrugged. “A lot of the Fairies Against Abuse From the Living seem to have moved in, so I might have some problems in the future. Some of the FAAFL have said I was as good as dead and decided to make me an honorary dead person, so I have that going for me. If I object, they’re bound to say I’m being lifeist, so I’m just keeping quiet.”
Swampy nodded. “How well do the aluminum spider excavators work?”
I shrugged. “Steel’s a problem in Fairy, so there isn’t much option. There is an alloy of stainless steel that doesn’t hurt Fairies, but it dispels gossamer and illusions. It isn’t as strong as some of the aluminum alloys and weighs a lot more. For a tractor though, weight can be a good thing. Sometimes you fill a tractor’s tires with water and even put things in the water to make it heavier. Weight helps you do a lot of things. In other ways, using the right aluminum has advantages. Fairy make things simple and make things hard.”
Swampy was looking down at the water and frowning. “I’m not sure that introducing tractor pulls to Fairy was a good idea. What happened in Real?”
I gave her the details and she said, “There are ripples that show you and Caerwyn standing behind a dark-green scaly man. Bombs are slowly blowing up in an empty world.”
I nodded and she pinched me.
I asked, “What was that for?”
She said, “Being stupid. You’re still going to go talk to your stepfather despite my warnings.”
I changed the subject. “If I start making a tree, will you pose for me?”
She nodded. “Make the tree in gossamer, test it, make it work, and I’ll pose in it. ‘Til then, let me stir the water and see what I can see.”
I took out my cajon and sat on it. Then I started working with illusion and then gossamer. I played a simple rhythm on my cajon as I worked.
The tree itself was simple, making it functional was another thing. When I saw a set of colorful aluminum bottle openers on a display in a gas station, I had the idea that leaves and bark made the same way might make a pretty tree and be a change from what I’d been sculpturing. Then I thought about having the tree like weeping willow. From that came the idea of a percussionist’s sound cage that didn’t look so much like a cage and more like a tree that I thought would be nice.
What I wanted was sound effects. I had the idea of a portable one, but I wasn’t sure if I could make it do everything I wanted. I wanted the sound of thunder like metal sheets can make but attached to a branch or vine or fruit I could pull on to make it work. I wanted the washboard sound and the sound of shakers and cymbals and everything conveniently at hand. Rainfall, crickets, frogs in the distance. All of it acoustic but I wanted more than just rhythm, I wanted the sounds of nature.
I started making trees and gave up on making it portable. With everything I was trying to do, it was going to be too heavy for me to fake carrying it around in Real.
With gossamer to experiment, I was making sort of a reverse marionette. With a limb in reach, I could move it in various directions to set off different sounds and even combine them. With multiple limbs and roots I could move with my feet, I had a wider range of sounds. Rainmakers, güiros, washboards, and maracas were easy, but this was going to be an ongoing project.
As I learned to use it, it was going to change. Some things would be moved back and some made more convenient. I still planned to play the cajon as the main percussion instrument. I could come close, and by my ear, do better than most of the sounds a drum set made, but there were things that the cajon could only do a good fake of when compared to a good drum kit.
With the hollow tree, though, a lot of great sounds were possible. I was going to have to learn to play it, and I needed to examine what other people had done.
Swampy looked back at me, so I dispelled my work and just made a pretty version in gossamer with the few sounds I had gotten right. She flew up and landed on a limb with her long bamboo pole held like she was directing music. I made an illusion of her and she glided down to see it. With her open wings as a model, I made an illusion of her with her wings spread and her bamboo staff held like she was a drum major or a wizard throwing a spell.
Then I went in close and articulated it so the thunder sound would match with her wings and the triangle sound would match with her moving her staff.
She shook her head. “Hide me back in the leaves. Only let those who come close see this detail.”
I moved her image back to where she was sitting in the tree with her stave held on her shoulder. After rigging her wings to open as the thunder sound started she nodded.
The final version wasn’t too heavy for me to lift, but carrying it around was going to be a bit more difficult. It had a few adjustments so the trunk could be extended and the controlling branches raised and lowered. It was solid, stable, and durable. Sometimes I got carried away when playing, and I didn’t want to bring the thing crashing down on me. I made a real one to test and decided to leave it with Swampy to see how well it survived the weather.
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#
I summoned Caerwyn and he brought me through to his manor house in Snipsnort. Caerwyn’s mother, Mrs. Nelson, was sitting at a table with Anthony and Hubert. They all smiled and said, “Long live King Snipsnort.”
They were still sitting but I waved my hand. “Please rise.”
Fuzzy stepped out of the shadow and rubbed against me. “Where’s my toy?”
I asked, “What toy?”
Fuzzy gave me a squinting look. “Bat wing girl. My toy.”
Caerwyn picked up Fuzzy, and Fuzzy disappeared into shadow.
I said, “Archer rigged a bunch of bombs in Real. At least sixty. I don’t want innocents killed, and I don’t want to reveal that I am still alive. Archer probably thinks I am dead. Caerwyn, want to help me try and figure out how to deal with them?”
Hubert set his hands on the table like he was balancing himself. “Phil, some of those bombs are going to be big. Really big. Don’t go near them. Deal with them but don’t go near them.”
I asked, “Is there a good way to make sure Archer doesn’t think I’m alive after this?”
Mrs. Nelson said, “Oldest way in the book is probably the best. If there is someone else giving you trouble, frame him, and make Archer think he has a new enemy.”
Caerwyn said, “Mom, let’s not push Phil down the slippery slope. Phil, it’s a good idea to blame someone else, but let’s use someone that’s already dead and gone so you don’t end up framing someone innocent. Does Archer have any old enemies that are long gone?”
Anthony said, “Blubblub didn’t care for him.”
Mrs. Nelson laughed. “Poor Blubblub. He was a sea giant. Didn’t figure out speech as a communication method for ages so everyone was constantly making fun of him.”
Caerwyn asked, “Blubblub?”
Mrs. Nelson corrected him. “Blubblub. In Carthaginian, there was a silent sort of ‘R’ sound between ‘Blub’ and ‘blub.’ He didn’t ever talk, so that was the name he was given and it stuck.”
Hubert said, “Not sure Blubblub was a him.”
Anthony said, “Blubblub might have been one of the first giants to figure out how to get around, but he mostly stayed in the ocean. Archer was in a group making fun of him as Blubblub rose from the sea. Blubblub had just figured out how to understand speech, so he got to hear all the running jokes for the first time.
“He slew a lot of them, but Archer and a few escaped. Blubblub hunted a couple more down, but then no one heard anything more from him. That was quite some time ago. Anyone think Blubblub is still around?”
Hubert said, “If he were around, he’d have dealt with Archer already, so probably not.”
Mrs. Nelson made an illusion of a dark-green scaled man that looked like he was half-man and inflated half-puffer fish. “He looked like this only quite a bit larger.”
Caerwyn said, “Let me get some gear together, and we can get started.”
#
I had set up gateway and transport worlds so we could see dimmed images of explosions in a Fairyland while staying in another Fairyland that was safe from the explosions.
Caerwyn asked, “How are we going to test gateways?”
I said, “With a gateway to watch, I plan to slide a closed gateway closer and closer to see how close we can get.”
Caerwyn asked, “How are we going to make it seem like Blubblub did this?”
I said, “Are we sure he isn’t still around? How can we test to be sure?”
Caerwyn laughed. “We could just make up some monster-looking thing.”
I shook my head. “What if there is someone who used to look like that and we start trouble for them?”
Caerwyn said, “You could try summoning him.”
I started a summons.
Caerwyn said, “I was joking.”
I said, “Blubblub, ancient enemy of Archer, sea giant who learned to move early and speak late, Phil the Fishmonger summons thee.”
Blubblub answered, “I go by Rodrigo now and who is Archer?”
I said, “A Titan or Daemon who is good at backstabbing people and great at making and firing projectile weapons.”
Rodrigo said, “Oh, him. Please, how can I help?”
I said, “It’s complicated.”
Rodrigo asked, “But you know how to find this guy?”
Caerwyn asked, “Seriously, are you are talking with Blubblub?”
Rodrigo said, “Tell him I would really prefer he call me Rodrigo.”
I said, “Rodrigo would prefer to be called Rodrigo.”
Caerwyn winced. “Wait, how did he hear me?”
A handsome Spanish gentleman appeared beside me. “I have been keeping communication skills at the forefront of my research for quite some time. Who do I have the pleasure of having met?”
Caerwyn said, “I am Caerwyn Nelson, no relation to any naval officers. This is King Snipsnort.”
Rodrigo looked at me. “You go by Snipsnort and Fishmonger. How did you get stuck with those titles?”
I smiled. “If a name causes someone to laugh or underestimate me, then as far as I’m concerned, it’s all for the best.”
Rodrigo said, “I will have to think about that for a while. Well, when do we go after him? Oh, wait, we are talking about the jerk that was left out of the Mahābhāratam and not Ullr, Orion, Apollo, or Artemis?”
I made an illusion of Archer.
Rodrigo said, “That’s him. Alright, gentlemen, how can I be of assistance?”
I said, “Archer thinks I’m dead. I’d rather it stay that way. I’m about to try and defuse a bunch of bombs he set. I don’t want anyone innocent hurt by them. We were going to use your likeness to try and make him think it was you, but I didn’t want to frame you for something if you were still around.”
Rodrigo asked, “Can I see the likeness you were going to use?”
I winced and made an illusion.
He shook his head and made an illusion beside it. “This is a lot closer. Can you record a sound?”
Caerwyn hit a few keys on a laptop and said, “Recording now.”
Rodrigo made a long “Blubblubblub” sound. “Play that if you want him really convinced. I rather like the idea of his having a warning that I am coming. Like old times really. Where do I find him?”
I said, “Cincinnati. Probably at a junkyard. That’s all I have right now. He plans to meet a fellow there, but the fellow isn’t going to meet him and Archer may not be there yet.”
Caerwyn said, “We are going to try and take apart a few of the bombs. They have cameras. We may be able to figure out where the signals are going and give you better details.”
Rodrigo said, “Mind if I watch? I can manage the special effects so he blames me.”
Caerwyn said, “Phil, I think we are ready. Start moving gateways.”
#
After testing for a long time, we figured out that the gateway itself wasn’t the problem. I had set them to observe so they’d receive, but not send, light. That altered shadows since light disappeared and did not come back. The bomb was set to detect any differences in shadow that wasn’t caused by changes of light.
My gateway took in light and that made the shadows more shadowy. We managed to move all the bombs I could get to into slow worlds where we could watch the bombs blow up.
Rodrigo made it look like he was appearing as a huge, dripping-wet sea creature that was swallowing the bombs. We extracted parts and Caerwyn started to hack into the destination the cameras were sending signals to. After giving information to Rodrigo, we decided to take a break.
The sun was coming up. Rodrigo, Caerwyn, and I were standing in the middle of a junkyard.
Rodrigo looked at a copy of the map Caerwyn had printed. “We’re lucky it’s Sunday. You might be able to get a few these before church ends. Hopefully no one at any of these junkyards decides to work on Sunday.”
I held up my hand to block the sun while I looked at the sunrise. “I hope Deacon Dan can forgive my missing church. I don’t want to risk anyone getting blown up.”
From behind me, someone snatched the map from my hand. Deacon Dan studied the map and said, “No excuse for missing church today, Phil. Which of these do we need to go to first?”
#
Rodrigo decided to attend church with me. We sat at the back, and he explained to a woman who introduced herself from the seat in front of us that he was an uncle by marriage. I was sitting by the old man who had sort of adopted me, and Rodrigo was on the other side. As usual, I didn’t say anything but when the service was over Rodrigo got up and made friends.
As we walked away, I asked him, “What are your plans for the day?”
Rodrigo said, “Cincinnati is a large place. On Monday, I will be trying to introduce myself to people and ask if they have seen Archer or if they could carefully contact me if they did. Until then, I plan to stay near you. He may have another plan to approach you, so I am just following what I think are the best chances.”
I said, “That was a long time ago. Are you still that offended by him?”
He nodded. “I’ll never get over it. Never. I had just learned to talk. Not well, mind you, I knew maybe two hundred words, but I was desperate to learn more.
“It was a lovely day. I was walking out of the sea to a gazebo on the shore where many of the Giants’ children gathered. They were laughing and happy as I approached. I got close and greeted them. I didn’t know what Archer said, but everyone with him started running. Several disappeared. The remaining ran and Archer shot them down. Shot them in the back. He spoke to someone I couldn’t see. At the time, I didn’t know what a summons was. He said something to me and disappeared.
“After that I was attacked by several people. It took me years to find out the reason. Archer had told everyone that I came out of the water and started killing. He had managed to pin the murders on me. So, no, I will never forget what he did. Through the years, as I have tried to track him down, I have noticed a pattern. Those who trust him end up dead. There must be a powerful pain in a being to be so horrid, but despite my sympathy for the being he might have been, I plan to destroy the monster he is.”
I said, “That sounds like him. Yeah, he’s trouble. I do have a bit of a problem, though. Where I am planning to go play music, a pair of Goblins will be playing and a lot of Goblins disappear, move away, and change their names after they meet one of the old and powerful.”
Rodrigo said, “Of course they do and they probably should. What sort of music do you play?”
I said, “Anything with a beat that makes you want to move. I play other things, but my favorite thing is to lose myself in the music.”
Rodrigo nodded. “What sort of instruments do you play?”
I shrugged. “Pennywhistle, if I want to cry, Ocarina, if I’m alone on a hill. I sit on a crate and pound on it when I play with others. You might laugh, but I am good with a triangle.”
He laughed. “You would love Uruguay. You will have to visit me there. Do you play the cowbell?”
I nodded. “I have a couple of kitchens that I play in and I’m making a musical tree. I need to get to a stage out in a swamp in Louisiana and put one of my trees out before anyone gets there.”
Rodrigo asked, “Is there a road to the place?”
I nodded.
Rodrigo smiled. “Will your tree fit in a truck?”
I nodded again.
He held his hand up.” “I can drop you off, we set up the tree, and then I will leave. I will stay close enough to notice if Archer shows up, but I will stay far enough away so the Goblins won’t think I am watching. I need to do that in case Archer shows up anyway. I have a truck in Newark, and you had a gateway there, so it shouldn’t be hard to arrange if you don’t mind getting my truck back to Newark when this is done.”
I asked, “If you are parked far away, how will you be able to react and deal with anything if Archer shows up?”
He smiled. “I am a Giant, parts of me have been listening, watching, and learning since the day I found out Archer framed me. It is quite probable that I am ready for him. My only real limits for effectively dealing with him are the restrictions of collateral damage. I would rather not have any mortals or immortals other than you notice my activities. While I rather like the thought of having Archer feel the approaching danger, I don’t want to make anyone else nervous.
I said, “He made a flashlight gun sort of weapon that crystallizes Giants.”
Rodrigo nodded at me. “The Sealer of Way’s Bell. When it pealed, it shut three-fourths of me down. That was quite a while back, and I had to completely rebuild myself. Now I am a bit paranoid about complex resonant attacks so I am investigating the phenomenon constantly.
“Don’t worry about me. I don’t want this body destroyed, but it will only take me sixteen years to get another one up and going. If I could talk you into lending me a Fairyland and helping a bit, I expect we could reduce that time to a few hours.”
I nodded. “Sure, if we need to.”
He smiled broadly. “Well, then. It is a definite pleasure to have met you, and I hope we can be friends for an extraordinarily long time. On another subject, do you think Caerwyn would be offended if I offered to cure his albinism?”
I looked up at Rodrigo, thinking about his question. Caerwyn talked about it, but I wasn’t sure. “Rodrigo, if you hang around much, he will probably mention it. If the time is good, you could mention that you could cure it. I think he might, but it kind of gives him an angelic look. I have a few different appearances in different forms of myself, and to tell the truth, I am a bit uncomfortable in my most handsome forms. I can’t imagine how someone might feel if they went from beautiful to mostly good looking.”
Rodrigo nodded. “If you get a chance to mention it to him. Ages ago, the Elves brought an engineered disease to this world. Several of them, really. Some didn’t work right or sit well on humans and the Daemons were made with human genetics. It is possible to cure the disease, but only a few of us are aware of that fact since the disease will be caught within minutes of the cure and establish itself again. I think curing the disease and letting the more modern version infect him might fix things.”
I asked, “Are you an expert on disease?”
Rodrigo shrugged. “A few diseases. I was quite an expert, but as you change and grow, some things become impossible to recover.”
I said, “I have a few trucks with Louisiana plates. We can use those so we don’t have to move yours around.”