Uncle Anthony was sitting in his usual place in the kitchen. “I was driving to Indiana to see what had happened to you when Mr. Hebert called me and told me to turn back around. I was still driving when he called me again and said you implied that you were a Fairy king.”
As Uncle Anthony talked, I got the feeling that Hippy-dippy was slowing time. I felt like I could have stopped it, but that would have given away the secret. I smiled since I could take a year before returning and less than two and a half hours would pass in Snipsnort.
I said, “It’s an odd thing. I just got confirmation that I am a Fairy king, but I don’t feel crazy powerful or anything. I can control time there. I mean, that is amazing and impossible, sort of, but I don’t see how it does me any particular good.”
Mr. Hebert said, “As long as you can easily enter and leave Fairy, you can always be rested and healed relative to someone else. You can skip a hard winter. During famines, plagues, floods, wars, and hardship, you can speed time and prepare, or slow time and get past the worst. It gives you the ability to make sure that every day you live, the weather is perfect. The competitive edge has always been speed.”
I said, “The gateway is more than a little inconvenient. Even if we had a house nearby. Mr. Hebert, you have been warning me, scaring me, and still encouraging me to go to Fairy, and you seem to have expected me to become a Fairy king or something close. Someone else knew as well. What gave it away?
“I mean, I am a Goblin, but I ain’t anything special or at least wasn’t until I started getting gifted and that was all given to me.”
Mr. Hebert nodded and glanced at Uncle Anthony. “A few years ago, I ordered fish in a small dive and was told that it might be another hour before the fish arrived. I told them I would wait. You didn’t see me, but I saw you put a cooler down and pick up an empty cooler from under a table.
“The resonances that are what I really am rang with a clarity that I had not felt for several years so I knew that I needed to keep you near. But that was puzzling since I also knew that you belonged in Fairy.
“When I asked about you, they told me something must be up, and that you must have made delivery for a friend, since they had never seen you before.
“The next time I came in, the fish was nothing like what they had previously served, and I found out that the boy that delivered fish said that he was falling behind in school, so he wouldn’t be able to spend as much time fishing. No one had any idea how to reach him.”
I nodded. “That was the cover story we usually used for dropping a route that decided they could pay us less or made up things about our fish so they could get some free.”
Mr. Hebert continued, “I have mostly stayed out of Fairy but near Fairylands. Part of this was because all my caches of things are in Real. But when you appeared, I realized that I would have to move to Fairy if you moved to Fairy. That or lose a lot of myself. So, I have been traveling and seeking the things that resonate and that might survive in Fairy. When I call it inspirational junk, for me, it really is inspirational junk.”
Uncle Anthony asked, “When did you teach the kittens to shadow step?”
I shook my head. “I never took them into shadow. I don’t think a cat can learn it.
Uncle Anthony said, “Roland, show him.”
Mr. Hebert took out a can opener and picked up a can of tuna. He started opening it and I felt movement through shadow. The kittens appeared in the shadow Mr. Hebert cast on the table in front of him.
I said, “I have never heard of this happening. Some Goblin Fairies have gifted non-goblins, but as far as I know, no animals. Even then, most Goblins couldn’t have managed this. There are multiple light sources here in the kitchen, and the table is well lit. There’s a light right over the table.” I shook my head, “I never took them into shadow. Not even once.”
Mr. Hebert said, “Their mother was pregnant when you got her down from the tree. That might have made the difference.”
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I asked, “Are they ready for solid food yet?”
Mr. Hebert said, “The books don’t think so, but the kittens don’t agree.”
I looked nervously at the kittens. I wanted to hold one, but I was scared it might take me into shadow, and it might turn us into one of the Wize.
I said, “Mr. Hebert, always hold the kitten where it can easily leave on its own. You don’t want it dragging you into shadow. It might be dangerous.”
Uncle Anthony said, “They like to play but they have almost stopped being cuddly. I think we can pet them without holding them anyway.”
I asked, “Can we go look at the vault?”
Mr. Hebert nodded, and Anthony got up. We went to the carriage house and down to the steel vault. Mr. Hebert opened the door to the dusty area and gestured to the odd collection of road signs, chests, machine tools and musical instruments. “Can we arrange a safe place for these things in Fairy?”
I asked, “Are you serious about moving to Fairy?”
Mr. Hebert said, “We may have to return to Real regularly to shop. Is the food there really safe?”
I smiled, “I just ate a pear, but they have fish, goats, and chickens. I’m not sure they eat them. They may just use the eggs and milk.”
Uncle Anthony said, “If they milk goats, they eat them. Not much choice in that. The real question is how safe is it?”
I shrugged. “I had a few moments of fear, but it seems like it might be okay. I’m not sure how to even tell if a Fairyland is safe or if any of them are. Uncle Anthony, are you planning on living in Fairy too?”
Uncle Anthony smiled. “I have to every now and then. Parts of me can’t be easily constructed in Real. The probabilities are wrong. Once they are assembled in Fairy they can last a long time, but I have to visit Fairy and I am overdue.”
I checked the vault door and turned back to look at the two of them. “I was going to tell you something important, but to be safe, I’m going to keep quiet. Look at the purse I have. It was dropped by a Goblin girl. I will need to return it, so I will be going to the Goblin Music Festival.”
I opened the purse and took out the cardboard box that mostly filled the insides. After taking it out, there was just a small wallet, a coin purse and a tube of lipstick. I closed the purse and put it back on. Then I examined the box. It had a bent corner and a stuck-on label that said, “Prepared for Phil.”
In the box were four bones with labels, three bottles of pills, a folded note, a small book with a wax seal on it, and a tag on a string embedded in the seal. The tag read, “Wait for seal to fall off before reading.”
The labels on the bottles read, “365 pills. To age naturally take one each day. Warning—a continued overdose could stunt your growth.”
The bones were each labeled and there was a larger label that read, “Rooster bone first, yourself second, owl third, rook fourth and rat fifth. One at a time and practice with each before proceeding to the next. A week between each would be preferable. Save your sixth and probably last form.”
I opened the folded note and showed it to Uncle Anthony and Mr. Hebert. “Let the old folks know that it will be at least three years before Real will be safe again. There was a bit of disagreement over the rat form so don’t feel forced. When you transform the first time, try to stay in the form for a full day and practice before you change back. This helps you maintain the details.”
Uncle Anthony asked, “Is Real going to be dangerous?”
Mr. Hebert said, “Probably. Know any prognosticators with a good track record?”
Uncle Anthony shook his head. “Apart from you, no, and you haven’t shown any strong hunches for years.”
Mr. Hebert looked at me. “I had a Studebaker with great resonances for guessing the future. I shouldn’t have driven it around. It got backed up into when I was in the store getting groceries. After repairs it looked and drove fine, but it no longer gave me premonitions.”
Uncle Anthony put his hand on Mr. Hebert’s arm. “You’ll find something and get it back. That broken washing machine did pretty well until Archer hauled it out for target practice.”
Mr. Hebert gave me a strong look. “Don’t warn Archer. He will try and help us move and you don’t want him anywhere near your Fairyland.”
#
My sense of duty was telling me I needed to practice my gifts. My sense of preservation was making me wonder if I should just run off to California or somewhere and start a new life without Fairies. My stupid sense of honor was certifiably insane. I felt obligated to turn into a stupid rooster, and I couldn’t come up with any sense in that. I had become a Fairy king. Or at least, I passed their test. The deal was that I didn’t have to turn into a rooster if I became a Fairy king.
On one hand, I didn’t even want to go back and learn how to transform. On the other hand, I didn’t want to waste the potential of being able to transform on being a stupid rooster. Another insane part of me felt duty bound to turn into a rooster. The horror was that I knew myself and should stop beating myself up for it. I would have a sour taste in my mouth that would never go away if I didn’t turn into a rooster.
On the bright side, I might not be able to transform at all, but that idea is even more of a sign of crazy since that is worse than wasting a transformation on becoming poultry. The only real bright side was that once I had turned into a rooster, a group of daft childish Fairies that the other Fairies avoided would consider me one of them.
Since I would have no peace with myself otherwise, I sped up time in Snipsnort and summoned Lord Lodestone.