I looked around the market, but I didn’t have money that looked like theirs, and I didn’t want to just tell them I was a king and take things. I saw a man complaining to another man, so I might have found someone in charge.
The man in charge said, “Pebbleplink, hast thou ever heard of entropy? No? Well then, let me makest this clear. We don’t bring in Fairies from other worlds to do the work of our own Fairies. No Domestic Fairies, No Cleaning Fairies, No garden Gnomes. None of that. We try to be complete. Since we haven’t had a Fairy king, we have to make everything lasting from scratch. Well, we can use gossamer for a lot of things, so it isn’t all from scratch. In any case, the last thing we want is for all our scraps and weeds to be taken to other Fairylands and have our world slowly shrink.”
Pebbleplink said, “But, Leafsound, we just want to bring in a few musicians for entertainment once a year at the festival.”
Leafsound said, “If indeed we have a king, thou canst petition him. ‘Til then, thou wouldst have to face Duchess Bye-bye, and thou doest know how she gets on audience day.”
I walked over to them. “Pardon me, but if the king did bring some musicians in, would they be safe?”
Pebbleplink nodded. “No one in Fairy would attack a musician. At least not if they played well and were not causing immense problems and be unwilling to change or leave.”
Leafsound shook his head. “Even then, it’s the worst luck to attack a musician when they art playing music. Entire Fairylands have lost all their folk after they ignored the rules.”
I nodded. “I witnessed one of those. So where would the king keep these musicians?”
Pebbleplink looked at Leafsound. “What do you think? I mean, the king will have three manor houses, two castles, and the palace. Brightstone is pretty far from anything. So, maybe one of the lost manor houses?”
Leafsound said, “Bogview Castle is on the other side of nowhere. I think the manor house up on the hill there would be the best place for them. Then they could play at the inn and the amphitheater.”
Pebbleplink looked up at the manor house on the hill that was just visible through the gently moving willow branches and shook his head. “Might take a year to finish the amphitheater.”
Leafsound said, “We can finish it with gossamer when they want to perform then get rid of the gossamer and start building it again. It would be great for the economy, but right now all the spare workers are making the bridge to nowhere.”
I asked, “Are they really making a bridge to nowhere?”
Leafsound nodded. “Yes, they are putting in a road to the village next to Bogview Castle. If we have a king, that might speed up.”
Pebbleplink said, “If he can make things, he will be one of the richest Fairy kings that ever was. Consider how much mass has been banked in this Fairyland in the last two thousand years. He could probably finish the road and the amphitheater in gold bricks.”
Leafsound shook his head. “Nah. Too heavy. Gold bricks would sink into the swamp. The footers would just be pushed deeper. Plus, gold is a total waste of mass. Way too heavy and way too soft, the traffic would cause ruts in the bricks in no time.”
Pebbleplink sighed. “Impossible to guess what a king might do. If I were king, I would make huge gold statues of me on all the roads.”
Leafsound folded his arms across his chest and took a deep breath. “Complete waste of mass. Quartzite is a better material for statues and would make seven statues out of that mass that would make one gold statue. Then there is the question of how big a stone could be made at one time. When I was studying Fairy engineering, we saw a statue that was a hundred feet tall and weighed 1200 tons, but I was taught that most Fairy kings max out at something less than a full ton. One of the Fairies in my class could make things, though, and when we visited his Fairyland, we were shown a gateway made out of fifty-ton stones. He wasn’t even the king of that Fairyland, but I bet he could be one if he wanted to.”
Unauthorized use: this story is on Amazon without permission from the author. Report any sightings.
I asked, “Doest thou know a lot of physics?”
He shook his head. “Engineering. There are Dwarves that study Fairy physics, but that’s usually a secret kept at the highest levels. No one shares that stuff.”
I asked, “Were the classes long?”
He said, “No, just a short convention after we were gifted so we would retain the knowledge. But it came with a certificate from the Crossroads Council, so I have that going for me.”
I asked, “What is the Crossroads Council?”
Leafsound said, “They have been working to improve Fairyland stability and safety. All the best trained Fairies get certified by them. Best thing that has happened in Fairy in the last hundred years.”
Pebbleplink said, “I would argue that the Fairy Market was the best thing that happened.”
Leafsound shook his head. “Nah, they shut it all down. I never got to go and then it closed.”
I asked, “Who would I ask if I were looking for three small bones with labels?”
Leafsound asked, “The bones that were lost when the giant rooster’s crow shook the windows? Thou art the second one that asked. Like I told the last fellow, check with the folk that went up there and cleaned up after the monster.”
I winced. “Where would I find them?”
He shook his head. “Since I was asked earlier this morning, I finally came up with an answer. Make a large mess up where they saw the monster and wait to see who comes and cleans up. The council won’t be in session for another week, so ‘til then, it might be hard to track down who is responsible for that area.”
I bowed to them both. “Thank thee for thy advice.”
I walked to the edge of the town and looked up at the manor house. I shadow stepped up to it, but it was warded. I walked around the stone wall and got to the gateway at the front. On the wooden door was a note. “No need to clean but the garden needs work. Check back next week.”
There was a knocker on a smaller door by the side of the gateway. I considered using it when I was summoned.
“King Phil Snipsnort and Ultra Rooster, ‘The guy I owe big time’ summons thee.”
I brought him to me.
He looked up at the gateway. “Cool. One of thy homes. I’ll trade thee three bones for it.”
I looked at Hey Guy. “Doest thou want me to give thee a title?”
He said, “I just spent the day hunting for thy stupid bones, and now thou art threatening me with a name? That’s just rude. Hold out thy hand.”
I held my hand out, and he put the three bones in it. “Just for that, I’m gonna poop on your house.”
He turned into a crow and flew up over the manor. I went into shadow and didn’t linger to watch him do his business.
I carefully put the bones in an inside pocket of my backpack and summoned Mr. Hebert. He didn’t answer so I summoned Uncle Anthony.
Uncle Anthony brought me in. I asked, “Is Mr. Hebert asleep? He didn’t answer the summons.”
Uncle Anthony said, “He just went to the restroom.”
Mr. Hebert walked in. “Sorry, Phil, I was in the restroom. I figured you would call again if it was urgent, but for speed, when summoning say, ‘urgently call thee.’”
Uncle Anthony said, “In an emergency, if you want to come to us, just say ‘call thee,’ and we will know to bring you right through. If you need us there, say ‘request thee,’ and the rest of the time say ‘summon thee.’ That would give us a bit more information if we’re in traffic or the bathroom.”
I nodded. “Sounds good. I have several places to live in the Fairyland. I have only seen one of the manor houses from outside the stone wall, it was warded. But it looked nice. There is a market in the town below and it seems peaceful. Shall I see about starting to move things in?”
Mr. Hebert asked, “Can we see it?”
I said, “Let me go there and summon you. By the way, turning into myself was a complete waste. I end up naked.”
Uncle Anthony said, “Go upstairs and get dressed and equipped in as many versions of yourself as you can. You can keep your backpack safe. Just don’t try to carry any silver. Silver can cause problems with transformations.”
I went up to my room and started changing. I ran out of underwear before I had the entire range of clothing on in various forms. I had a form with nice lace-up tennis shoes and a swimsuit and shirt for rough work in water and a form with just a swimsuit. I had several forms with shorts and no underwear for working in water, but I probably needed to purchase a lot more underwear. I had everything but my bed packed away, so I was ready to move if I needed to. There was a pile of clothing in my basket that I needed to clean, so that would get me a few more changes. I walked down to the laundry room and started a load. I went ahead and pressed some of Uncle Anthony’s shirts while I was waiting on the washing machine.
Mr. Hebert came in. “Are we going to have electricity in Fairy?”
I looked at him and winced. “Probably not. Will solar panels work in Fairy?”
Mr. Hebert said, “Cheap enough to try. Anthony knows more about that. I’ll ask him.”
Mr. Hebert left and I continued ironing.
Uncle Anthony came in. “Phil, thanks for ironing my shirts, but you don’t have to do that. I’m going to the hardware store to get some solar panels to test in Fairy. If I can’t find anything good, I’ll just get some of the rechargeable solar lights. You can speed time and test them, any case.”
Uncle Anthony left and I finished the ironing, so I changed my form to the one carrying my cajon and started playing a rhythm that went with the sound the dryer was making.
Mr. Hebert came in and laughed. “Should I bring my lute down?”
I nodded so he left and came back. I don’t know what to call the music we improvised. Jazz, maybe. Laundry room jazz probably doesn’t have a market, but we liked it.