In Snipsnort, Lord Loadstone was standing on a wharf. Around us were cliffs. In front of us across the bay, the cliffs were broken and rocks jutted up from the water.

He got on one knee and bowed. “Long Live Snipsnort.”

I said, “Please rise and please don’t address me as a King. I abdicated.”

Lord Loadstone got up. “Sadly, sire, we need a king.”

I sat down on the edge of the wharf and considered jumping in. The water was clear and beautiful. “Lord Loadstone, I’m not looking forward to having say “please rise” as a greeting the rest of my life. How long did this realm survive without a king?”

Loadstone pointed to the rocks. “The cliffs collapsed here at Realmsedge a hundred or so years ago. Now only small boats can make it out to the sea and only when tides and weather cooperate.

“If you made a gateway and another gateway, you could easily clear the opening of this bay and allow this town to function as it once did years ago. We need this sort of thing from time to time, but without a king, we just have to make do. We got by without a king because we had no choice.”

I said, “Where do we want the rocks?”

Loadstone said, “If thou were to take the mass with silt and all and clear the passage deep, you could take it to a place, and then one piece at a time, do whatever you wanted with it. A few stable stones stacked on each other in a lonely field can make for a nice place for shepherds to gather.”

I said, “It’s a worthy request, but it may take a bit. How far is this from the seven-ways intersection?”

Loadstone sat beside me. “Sire, this is near the edge of your realm. The crossroads you mention is in the very center of thy realm.”

I said, “How long does it take to fly there?”

Loadstone said, “About thirty-one hours.”

I shook my head. “It may be possible. My gateways appear at the crossroads. I’ll have to fly and maintain the gateway for thirty-one hours straight. That means I’ll need food as me and as a rook. That means no rest. I’ll have to take bathroom breaks on the way. I’m not eating the best diet these days. I’m used to healthier food. Are there more tasks like this ahead of me?”

Loadstone said, “Lots. We need at least twelve lighthouses and who knows what else we will need as time passes. We need a king.”

I got up. “I’m going somewhere so I can get a decent meal. You may need a king, but I don’t need a kingdom. I’ll try to help this town out, but I’m still recovering and if I keep doing this sort of thing, I’ll be dead soon enough.”

Lord Loadstone got up and bowed to me. “If you would, follow me for a bit.”

I followed him along the wharf and he lead me to a place with tables and chairs out under an awning. The smell of fried fish was delightful and making me hungry.

Lord Loadstone went to a counter and asked, “Farren the Younger, can we have some fish?”

I said, “Loadstone, I won’t be stealing any fish.”

From behind the counter Farren asked Loadstone, “Is the lad with thee, Lord?”

Lord Loadstone said, “This is your king who wishes to abdicate but still plans to risk his life trying to fix your harbor. He refuses to steal fish from you.”

The man looked like he was going to cry as he knelt behind the counter and said, “Long live King Snipsnort.”

Around me quite a few others bowed low and wished me a long life.

I said, “Please rise.”

Farren rose and asked Lord Loadstone, “Does his majesty despise fish in general or the fish as I prepare it?”

Loadstone waved his hands. “I don’t for a moment think it is your fish specifically. He has been a fishmonger by trade, so it is possible that he is tired of fish, but the real problem is that he will not steal from you.”

The proprietor asked Loadstone, “Can I give it to—no wait—it is his majesties to begin with. How can he steal it when it belongs to him?”

Loadstone asked, “I have dined here many a time and never paid you anything. Is that a problem?”

Farren said, “You rein in the excess of the other nobles, and when you dine here, it tells others that you come here from across the realm and choose my place to dine. In turn, others come here and the fishermen save the best fish for me so they can have the honor of supplying my fish.”

Loadstone asked, “If the king were to summon you everyday to deliver meals to him, how would that be?”

The proprietor looked at me, then looked at the ground. “A greater honor I could not imagine. I would be able to expand the business and the finest chefs would want to join me in my kitchen.”

Lord Loadstone smiled at me. “And what about the lazy scoundrels that do nothing for the kingdom and still continue to take?”

The man behind the counter looked up at Loadstone. “They still need to be fed. The finest food goes to those who serve the most, so the finest fish might not be theirs to have, but we would not stint them.”

Loadstone asked, “If everyone is to be fed, then why would you continue to work?”

He smiled at Loadstone. “You are strong and could take what you wanted to and to prevent you damaging things and being angry, we would still feed you the finest we could. Yet you still serve the kingdom. Fishermen would rather fish or they, like the laziest Fairies, would fade away. I have bad days, my lord. Days when I consider and regret my choices, yet there is no respect or honor in being a bum.

“If I did naught but beg, my measure would be small. If I took more than my measure, the nobles you restrain from excess would find me and make sport of me at my expense. So keeping this place going has been my joy for near to seven hundred years. I hope to keep it going for at least seven hundred more.”

Loadstone turned to me. “You would honor this place and this man by dining here. If you ask a man to serve you, unless it were a task unfitting or unloved, you would honor him and in turn others would give the man respect. Fairy is not like Real. I suppose some Fairylands may be different yet isn’t this the idea behind a wish? Something big freely given? In turn it honors both parties and gives respect and joy to both.”

I said, “It would never work in Real.”

Loadstone said, “The worst go to other realms when they depart Real. Without them, even the middle worlds are better than Real can ever be. Not that we don’t get our share of the selfish. We tend to keep them in the center of thy Realm so we can keep watch over them. That is why you might see the dishonorable exchange of wealth. Those that cannot adapt to living for honor must instead live for wealth.”

I shook my head. “I don’t see how this can work. It seems like it would be uneven and unfair no matter what happened.”

Lord Loadstone said, “Do hard workers die poor without medicine in Real? Money doesn’t work. Money leads to corruption as certain as water makes things wet. Those with money use it to make more and claim to provide service when they allow others to do the work while they have all the goods. Honor works better but as you say, it is flawed. It probably wouldn’t work in Real, it barely works in Fairy, yet it works better than money does in Real or Fairy.”

I said to the proprietor, “I would love to try your fish. I cannot say for sure that I’ll be able to fix the passage into the bay.”

The proprietor said, “Of course not, your majesty. The sea does not take to everyone. None of the great lords here have been able to solve this.”

#

I dove into the water as an otter and explored the area they wanted cleared. Fish darted past but I was well fed from my meal at the seafood shop.

None of this looked impossible but getting a gateway here was going to be an ordeal.

As I swam, I felt a summons. “King of Snipsnort, I summon thee.”

I couldn’t answer or even make an inquiry as an otter in the water so I took myself to the Fairyland where I was first abducted, turned into myself, and then took myself back to Snipsnort.

I was in the center of the seven-way crossroads. “Who is calling me?”

She let me see. It was the woman I had been using as a model for making statues. “Call me Goldie but call me to Snipsnort.”

I looked around at the seven statues of her that were between each of the roads. I brought her to Snipsnort.

She was even prettier in person.

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She looked down at me, and then looked at the statues. She walked over to one and looked back at me. She squinted at me and then looked back at the statue.

“Thou art not in love with me.”

I didn’t know how to answer that.

She walked to another statue. “You do appreciate beauty though.”

She turned to me. “You are the King of Snipsnort, that made these statues, right?”

I looked up at the statues and back at her. “Are you going to steal them?”

She smiled at me. “Yes, little boy, I probably am.”

I walked over to a statue and looked up at it. “Good. I got them wrong. I didn’t have enough to go by. You are a lot prettier than these statues. Don’t worry, I want to do more statues of you now that I have seen you, but I won’t. I should have gotten permission first. I’ll just have to invent someone so I don’t have to worry about offending them.

“If you want, I can probably arrange gateways to help move them where you want them. Some of the ones out on the bridge are a lot bigger.”

She asked, “And you will give them all to me?”

I said, “If I replace them with another figure, some folk will complain, but this way no one will think I have a creepy obsession with you. I’m really sorry about all of this. A lot of folk get creeped out by us Goblins obsessing over them and stalking them. It’s kind of a Goblin thing, but I understand why it would bother you. I’ll try to make it clear that it was a passing thing and not bother you anymore. I’ll tell them I don’t really have a thing for you.”

She put a hand out, looked at me, and then put it on the statue beside her. “So this is mine with no complaint?”

I winced. “No, I kind of like it, but really I would do it over now that I have seen you. I mean, you are really pretty.”

She got up on the pedestal and sat down. “Make a proper one of me, for me to take, and I will forgive you.”

I made a quick gossamer image of her sitting like she was on a pedestal of a statue of her only adjusted to match her better. After carefully made a few changes so it would hold up to time and have solid supports of the details, an increase in the depth of a few lines gave her eyes more dramatic darkness and enhanced some of the shadows. I gave her the face she made when she was looking at me with the puzzled expression that said, “What am I going to do with you?” I added a bit more menace to it, kind of like the Queen of Shadows.

She asked, “Were you planning to make more statues of me?”

I said, “Sorry, I had this idea of making twelve lighthouses kind of like the Statue of Liberty but with more dramatic lines and your form. Don’t worry. I’ll just look up lighthouses on the net and make them like they should be.”

I shifted the materials of the gossamer statue a few times. “What should I make it out of? I have been doing them in quartzite, but since it’s the last one I will make of you, it should be something special. Should I make it out of ruby? We could do it in gold, but diamond or emerald would be pretty., too Probably a really dark ruby, but a dark emerald would still have the shadows perfect.”

She winced and got up to look at the gossamer statue. “Definitely not emerald. Definitely not. Not a dark one ever. No, let’s not do any of those. Are you doing this on purpose?”

I looked at the statue and adjusted it a bit more now that she was close. I made it as a dark pink mostly transparent star sapphire and looked up at her and back at the statue. “Sorry, I have to look at you to get the details right, but don’t worry. I’m not obsessed with you, and I will make it clear to everyone that I wasn’t ever obsessed and I just thought you were pretty.”

She raised her voice, “Can you quit saying I am ‘pretty.’”

I said, “Sorry.”

She said, “There are better words to use. Beautiful is okay every now and then. Ravishing, gorgeous, and irresistible are good if you are just keeping things simple, but someone needs to gift you with some poetry so you can be a bit more evocative. ‘Pretty,’ makes it sound like I am barely attractive. Now as far as the obsession thing goes, the rumor is out that you saw a few images and became totally entranced by my beauty. If you ever let anyone know that you were not entirely smitten with me, I will hunt you down and make sure your life is ruined.

“Yes, I will take these and the other statues of me, but you have to replace them all with better statues of me and make copies of the replacements for me to take. When do you want me to pose for the lighthouses?”

I said, “It may be a few days, if I even survive it. They really don’t care if I die. I guess Fairies wouldn’t, since I will come here when I die. I need to find out which way this town on the edge of my realm is and then move a gateway all the way there. I don’t know if I can keep a gateway going for thirty-one hours.”

She asked, “Why are you moving a gateway that far?”

I said, “Since gateways appear here at the center of the realm, I have to move them and keep them going while I move them.”

She said, “Fine. Show me where you need the gateway.”

I asked, “Can you make gateways?”

She crouched in front of me. I felt a bit dazzled looking in her eyes. She put her arms around me. “Remember that feeling whenever you describe me. That way you can put off telling them how absolutely devoted you are to me.”

Gateways formed around us and she held me tight as we moved to other worlds. She let go and we were on a tower over a maze of a castle going to the horizon. A castle was above us, and some towers went all the way up and became towers on the upside down castle high above.

She said, “This is just one of my little getaways. Don’t stray, this is a place you can easily get lost in.”

She held me next to her. I hadn’t been held like this in fifty years. Not since I was first taken through shadow. Not even then. I couldn’t remember my mother ever holding me like this, but we Goblins are not taken from happy homes.

She said, “Let’s find a place for the statues.”

She shifted the gateway we were in, and we moved without moving while in the gateway we sailed through walls to a large courtyard.

More gateways opened and the seven statues at the crossroads appeared shifted around and then settled into place.

The gateways around us shifted, and we were back at the crossroads. My recently made gossamer statue was the only one there.

I made an array of gossamer mirrors so I could see her. She hugged me one more time and let go.

She asked, “Infatuated now?”

I made a gossamer image of her in gold holding me in silver. I put that in a large crystal sphere with lines and traces through it to try and show it as a gateway, but it really came out as looking like some sort of protective sphere. I adjusted it and made it look more magical and dramatic, but it still didn’t evoke the look of a gateway.

I set it up in one of the now empty spaces between the roads and made it with real materials.

Then I improved the statue I had previously made of her sitting on a pedestal of a statue of her and put it in one of the places around the intersection.

She smiled and clapped and with all the gossamer mirrors around I saw her full image as she did it and made a statue to match it. Now I was hungry.

I summoned the proprietor of the shop where I had just eaten fish. “Farren, can I bring the most beautiful guest to ever dine at your establishment to share a meal?”

The proprietor said, “I would be honored, your majesty.”

#

Sitting at a table in front of the shop I pointed out to the broken stone teeth the waves of the sea were crashing against.

Distant lightning was flashing in the clouds far out over the sea.

Goldie looked up and asked, “Can we get the food to go?”

#

On the top of a hill in a meadow near the crossroads Goldie posed for me as I made statues. Some of them were models for larger works I would do later.

Goldie got up to look at a huge statue I made of her lying on her side and looking down. I made the statue where it mostly looked like she was looking down at you wherever you stood.

She walked to where the face was looking right down at her. “It might be better if you didn’t make a lighthouse that looks like me.”

I said, “I think I could make it structural.”

She said, “That’s not the point, I don’t think the sea likes me. Let’s go see the other statues of me.”

I nodded. “I will shadow step to the bridge and then summon you.”

She held out her hand. “No, I don’t want to wait six hours.”

#

I took her hand, and she took us to a Fairyland with a wooden floor and a ping pong table. The sky was a collage of large glowing flowers drifting like low clouds.

She said, “Connect to this Fairyland. It was an experiment, and I’m not sure I like it, so you can have it.”

I asked, “Are you giving me a Fairyland?”

She smiled. “You’re my apprentice now. Here’s what we are going to do. First off, you need to learn a few of the better gateway forms. The good stuff, all spells designed by the Dread Lord. Don’t go sharing these with folk. Then you need to be able to seal them off, unravel them, and adjust their position properly. Don’t worry about pay. I have a lot more places I want to put statues, and you have the means to make them.

She held our her arms, and I was happy to be hugged. She gifted me several times. “Now, Phil, here is what you say when they ask about me. Just tell them you love me. If they say that you can’t trust me, just tell them they don’t understand me the way you do. That’s all you need to tell them. Don’t tell them anything else.”

I nodded and just snuggled into the warmth of the hug.

#

The Fairyland we were in was like a bubble more than a hundred feet across. Over a ten foot section of floor, I made a gateway and stood in it. I made a gateway to the crossroads in Snipsnort and started moving it. With our Fairyland in a gateway where the other end was in Snipsnort and only as big as a plate, everything looked huge as I stood at the edge of the gateway and moved it through Snipsnort. In less than a minute we were at the bridge and looking at a statue.

Goldi said, “This wooden floor won’t support the statue. Alright, let’s put the ping pong table and this floor in an empty Fairyland, and then we will want a stone floor. If I leave, can you use this to go fix the harbor quick, and then summon me?”

She made a gateway and then another and shifted us to another Fairyland and then shifted the floor and the ping pong table to another world.

We appeared to be floating among flowers drifting around us in all directions.

She said, “Make a gossamer floor.”

I made a gossamer, but solid, quartz crystal floor filling the bottom half of the spherical world so we could still see the flowers drifting below.

Goldie shifted gateways and we were standing on the gossamer. “As long as no one pulls any pranks on us, we will be fine. I guess for safety’s sake, in case someone bad dispels the gossamer floor, I need to teach you to fly and control gravity. Still, I can’t have my apprentice seeming like a total newb.”

She took me in her arms again and gifted me. I just snuggled in. She smelled like roses.

#

I had to adjust the floor several times to accommodate all the different statues as we moved them, replaced then and made more.

She never tired of posing and having statues made of her until she gestured for me to be gifted, and I fell asleep in her arms.

#

I woke up and I was being held in the lap of a different woman who was stroking my hair.

She stopped stroking my hair. “Goldilocks was being summoned so she left you with me.”

She pointed. “The bathrooms are that way.”

I got up and walked to the bathroom. I looked back and the lady smiled at me and waved. I was more than a little embarrassed by this.

I came back into the room and she offered me a bowl of melon, an omelet and some fish. I sat beside her. “I’m Phil.”

She said, “Yes, King of Snipsnort. I’m Grady. Are you really a Goblin?”

I nodded. “Pretty much. I had my ears fixed so I would fit in better.”

Grady said, “I’m an Ogress.”

I offered my hand. “Pleased to meet you.”

She gave me a bright smile and shook my hand. “You aren’t the least bit scared. Are you that trusting?”

I said, “The stories about Goblin’s don’t make us sound like heroes. I guess we really do steal children, but only ones that are better off stolen. Do ogres really eat people?”

She smiled, “Yes, we do, but not friends. Some people need to be eaten.”

I asked, “Have you known Goldie long?”

She nodded. “Goldilocks said you are her apprentice.”

Since Goldie had given me instructions on what she wanted me to say, I said, “I love her and no one else understands her the way I do.”

Grady said, “That’s a bit scary. You know that I love a good puzzle more than anything else. Do you fall in love easily?”

I looked at her and asked, “Can I make a statue in your likeness?”

She asked me, “Really?”

I said, “I have a place where I want to make some lighthouses, and I want to make one that looks like you.”

She asked, “Are you in love with me?”

I didn’t answer. Something about waking up with her holding me made me feel like maybe I did love her. Thinking about it, I loved my sister, Dutchess Byebye, and she had hugged me. Now I felt something like that with Goldie and with this lady that I had just been held by.

I decided I should probably be careful who I let hug me if I was going to be this easy.