Cold winds swept between the mountains, bending the saplings and blowing dead leaves over the ice covered snow. The dull crunch of the frozen sheet being broken echoed through the valley accompanied by the occasional huff from the lycans. Trees groaned as their tops swayed in the breeze. The white expanse around us was broken by the occasional splash of green pines and the gray of boulders peeking through the snow. One such rock was split, ripped in half by the maple roots that claimed purchase inside it.

The babbling brook we stopped beside was the same I had first met Cyrus by. He rode a sorrel horse then, never imagining a human capable of riding a lycan. He had yet to meet the deep chocolate male that lapped the freshly thawed water from the very brook he once intended to fish. At the time, it was doubtful Claw would be capable of carrying such a weight, and certainly not for such an extended amount of time.

Of course, this was a much higher elevation than he planned to travel. This was closer to where Cerberus and I encountered a bear, when we first decided on traveling the rest of the way to Preene. Well, Cerberus decided. I had been perfectly content to spend the winter in the mountains.

Across from us, Alice was a ball of furs, huddled close to Sunshine. The tan lycan wore a coat of his own, kindly fashioned by Roshaun and secured to his scarred back via the leather harness the girl clung to. Beside her, Jared slouched over his own mount. His hood kept most of his face hidden, but I could see his face clearly enough in my mind. I pictured it without the bandage, when his teeth were visible through his cheek and it could be seen he lost most of an ear.

They wouldn't die. Jared may say he didn't have much time left, but there was enough. We would cross these mountains and find Dr. Aster and get the cure.

The army on our tail would be sure of that.

I looked over my shoulder as if I could somehow see them from here. We ventured out ahead, but I knew about a mile behind us was a regiment of a thousand lycans, just as it had been before. However, before that was my entire force. I hadn't had an additional two thousand lycans gathered from around Preene, nor the twenty thousand human men accompanying them. They would arrive a few days after us, allowing us to access the situation in Askance before we announced our presence.

Cyrus echoed my thoughts, "I hope they get on okay."

"I'm sure they will." I was assuring myself as much as him.

"Don't you think it reckless, electing them with no experience then leaving them to manage Preene themselves?"

I sighed. It seemed he wasn't thinking of our troops as I was, but rather the new council members I enstated shortly before our departure. "They'll be fine. The lower officials are still in office, and I feel more comfortable with commoners who believe in my rule than those other, questionable council members."

Cyrus shook his head. "I'm not sure if those fanatics are going to turn against you or start a religion in your name."

"Oh, they won't turn against me, the lycans I left will be sure of that. The guardsmen too." An increase in wages made me quite popular among the initially reluctant military. I smiled. "Though I do fancy the second option. Being a queen is all well and fine, but a goddess is a definite step up isn't it?"

My former manager rolled his eyes, turning away and giving his mount a slight kick to the side. The lycan lunged forward, then stopped while dropping his shoulder, effectively throwing his rider. Cyrus crashed through the icy sheet to land in the powdery snow beneath. He sat up and wiped the white from around his eyes.

"Sorry Claw, it's a habit."

I snickeredd. This was the third time this trip Cyrus had been tossed for treating Crimson Claw like a horse. The lycan shook his head before trotting to the man, kneeling so he was able to swing himself on.

Jared and Alice were already heading up the steep hill we had descended from, back to the trail that ran along the mountain’s ridge. They were closely followed by River. Cerberus stretched underneath me. I could feel the power coursing through his limbs as he bounded after them, pursued by Crimson Claw. I savored the feeling. It brought me no small measure of relief knowing he had fully recovered from his fight with the bear.

The wind was worse on top of the ridge. It kept up for hours, pestering us as we passed from one mountain to the next. I didn't mind though; I was grateful for the foul weather. It reminded me of the previous spring spent with the wild lycans and, more practically, it blew the snow from our path, making travel much easier. Unbidden, my gaze wandered down the rocky slopes, then out over the landscape. My breath caught in my throat.

I could see it. We were on one of the largest mountains in the chain, so tall that, standing in the position we were, I could see the opposite side of the next mountain over. And I could see it, my castle.

The fortress I once called my 'Evil Lair' stood like a gravestone on the barren slopes. It was so much closer than I expected. Was it really that deep into the mountains, or had we simply traveled that far? It was difficult to tell; Cerberus and I wandered aimlessly in the wild for weeks, and I had never ridden straight through. Either way, we were close, close enough that I could see which of the windows were broken and which were intact.

I squinted. There was something moving down there. It was dark and definitely larger than a man. I may have dismissed it as a moose had it not stood on its hind legs, momentarily scanning the surrounding area. Then it bounded into the castle and disappeared from my sight before I had a chance to examine it further.

It was probably a bear.

"Desire, you okay?"

I turned. Cyrus had a look of concern on his face. I forced a smile, nodding. "I'm fine."

He frowned. "Did you see something? You were staring."

I looked back. We were too far now; the castle had disappeared from sight.

"Yeah, my old castle." I focused on the path ahead. It was the best way to hide the tears stinging at my eyes. "We're getting close."

"That's great." He grinned, though his voice bore a sympathetic undertone. "I've never been to Askance before. How different is it from Preene?"

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"Very." I made a big show of looking up to the scarlet sky. "It's getting dark. We should look for a place to camp."

As if sensing my unease, Cerberus bounded forward to inform the others, effectively ending our conversation.

***

We made camp at the base of a small cliff that reminded me far too much of the one Howens once kidnapped me through. I kept unease to myself though, knowing there was little chance we would find another place that offered enough shelter from the relentless wind. Cyrus had just finished our fire when the rest of our pack arrived. He and Jared set out to organize a few more for the lycans to lie by. While he was gone, I decided to wander through the resting canines.

One thousand of them. Their furry forms dotted the landscape, breaking the expanse of snow between trees. I had always marveled at the growth of the wild lycans, going from rare legends to a healthy pack close to two thousand in the seventy something years since the official apocalypse. I never dreamed just a few mountains over there was a country that bred their population over five times that.

They lifted their heads as I approached. Some offered nods or even a silent yip in greeting. I wished they could talk, that their voices had never been cut away. My mind supplemented the words that should have been there.

My Lady.

My Queen.

Crunching snow.

"Desire."

I jumped, abruptly broken from my fantasy by a very real voice. I spun in its direction, facing the man who spoke. Cyrus tipped his head as he approached me.

"Cerberus and Claw came back. They couldn't find a deer, but rounded up enough rabbits for a decent meal. Jared says they're almost done."

He placed a hand on my arm when I didn't respond. Even through several layers of fur and fabric, the contact still sent an electric shock through me. I had always been keenly aware of being touched, but this was different. I didn't want to pull away.

I wanted him to touch me more, to pull me in and hold me tight. To whisper how everything was going to be fine in my ear.

And still, I drew back. Even were I to take Dr. Aster's cure, what happened that night could never happen again. There was no use thinking about it. The risk was too great; that was all there was to it. I could get him addicted… or kill him.

Just like Darrius.

"Desire?" he repeated. He had that concerned look in his face again. He appeared for all the world to be a cub, begging its mother for its first taste of her kill.

"Let's go then," I muttered, brushing past him. Only where my shoulder hit his did I truly feel alive. The rest if my body was numb from the cold.

Alice was singing when we arrived back, her usual made up song set to the tune of another's melody.

"Up and over mountains,

Across rivers we run,

Through forests and flowers,

Under the setting sun.

But I got a Sunshine sitting next to me,

He stays by my side even when the sun's not out to see.

He doesn't make rainbows,

And he doesn't live in the sky,

But he carries me where I need to go,

And helps all my tears to dry.

Cuz I got a Sunshine sitting next to me,

He stays by my side when the sun's not out to see..."

I smiled. Alice may not be a prodigy singer, but she certainly had a way with words. And she definitely had at least one fan. The tan lycan sat beside her, listening patiently to every word. His eyes never left her. The only indication he noticed our presence at all was a momentary swivel of one ear. Then his focus was entirely upon his small companion.

I hoped he hadn't touched her.

As soon as the thought entered my mind, I dismissed it. Cyrus already explained most children of the apocalypse didn't possess a drug powerful enough to addict the user as rapidly as mine. Besides, it wasn't longing that filled the lycan's eyes; it was utter devotion.

I turned, then stumbled back in surprise. That same devotion was reflected in red irises.

"My Lady," Cerberus greeted. He rolled back into a squatting position, reaching over to grasp the stick of a roasting rabbit. He offered the meal to me. I took it and sat down, not daring to meet his gaze again.

"It's always really strange when you do that."

"Do what?" I glanced to Cyrus, glad for the excuse to look away. "Give me food?"

"Act human," Cerberus supplied. The alpha lycan moved behind me, resting his heavy head on my shoulder. "He’s thought of us as mindless animals too long."

"Listen, you can't deny you look the part, Hellhound, with the eyes and blood on your chin."

"All the better to eat you with."

Cyrus nearly fell from the log he was sitting on. "If you're telling me you can read..."

I laughed, reaching back to bury my fingers behind his ear. I was surprised he remembered the old world fairytale I told him. That was a long time ago. "Don't worry, they still got some dogish traits." My nails scraped against skin. I felt the muscles of his leg tighten.

"Really?" Cyrus eyed Crimson Claw before ripping a leg from his rabbit, throwing it past the lycan's ear. "Fetch."

Claw considered him for a moment in return, then shoved him off the log. He neatly caught the rabbit in his claws. Cyrus climbed back up just in time to see the lycan rip a chunk from the carcass's side.

"Hey! No! Bad lycan! No more belly rubs for you."

Crimson Claw offered a silent snarl.

"Okay, fine, less belly rubs. Once a week, sound good?"

The tossed leg bounced off his forehead.

"Twice a week? More belly rubs? What do you want, lycan?!" Claw relented and dropped the stolen rabbit back in Cyrus's lap. The man immediately took a bite from the other side. "But really, not happening. Your anatomy is much too human for that. I'd feel like I was rubbing another guy's hairy abs." Another bite. He was talking with his mouth full again. "And I don't care what you say, not going to be scratching your butt either."

I was laughing so hard I was crying. My sides hurt, but I didn't mind. My whole body was filled with a pleasant pressure, as if I were bursting at the seams with energy yet completely relaxed against Cerberus's chest. Until I noticed the form sitting quietly off to the side. Concern deflated my high.

"Jared, you alright? You haven't said a word."

The teenager lifted his hood slightly to shoot me a reassuring half smile. "Yeah, just tired, that's all." He hesitated, then, "Well that, and thinking about how nice it is to finally have friends."

That made me pause. Was that what this was, friendship? There was no denying I had quickly become attached to these humans, the lycans as well. They made me happy, and I felt the urge to protect them, shield them from any harm. Was this friendship?