My legs began to hurt as well. It was difficult not to stumble as I strode down the cold hallways. The hard floor made my feet sting as if it were shattered glass. My arms hung heavy at my sides, the slightest movement causing strain on my shoulders. It took all my concentration just to keep my knees from buckling beneath me. The horrid weather had finally gotten to me, the constant damp chill had ruined my health. In my mood, my determination to keep up the facade was slowly slipping away. It was so exhausting, and I had been going for so long.

"Cerberus." I stopped, standing as he closed the distance between us. "Carry me. I'm tired of walking."

Long claws wrapped around my shoulders. Much to my surprise, the albino lycan didn't invite me on his back, but rather lifted me in his arms. I sighed, not minding either way. Relief spread through my limbs at the opportunity to rest. I lay my forehead against the fur of his chest. The rain had washed all traces of soot from his coat, leaving him white as freshly fallen snow. The scent of the storm still clung to him, along with the slightest traces of the fire he had dried himself by.

My door clicked open. A moment later, I was set gently on my bed. The lycan stepped back to stare down at me. I raised my hand, holding the protesting limb above my head until he took it in his mouth. My wrist rested between his canines. After a minute, he opened his jaws and allowed my hand to fall back to my side.

"You let him insult you without punishment. Why?" There was no mistaking the slight growl in Cerberus's voice.

I lifted my chin, but didn't meet his eyes. "He was trying to bait me. I didn't want to give him the satisfaction."

"You're lying."

My head snapped up. His pigmentless eyes bore into mine, a strange glint reflected in those crimson orbs. My heartbeat quickened. He looked predatory.

"You don't want to prove him right." His growl rumbled in his chest as he stalked forward. "You don't want to take responsibility. You try to act strong, but," the lycan towered over me, his jaws no more than an inch from my mask, "you’re afraid."

A shiver ran through me. He knew. He saw my strings.

"You cling to control." His breath washed over me, flavored with the scent of blood from his earlier kill. “It's time to submit."

"What?" I gasped.

The lycan lunged forward, pinning me on my back. I struggled against his rough grip as elongated canines clashed together near my face. "Submit," he snarled.

"No! Cerberus!" I cried, desperate to break free.

“You're always hiding.” My mask was swiped from my face, landing near the wall and exposing my panicked features. Saliva dripped from his open maw onto my cheek. The thick liquid rolled down my skin. "Submit."

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"No!"

Long claws dug into my shoulders. "Submit! Now!" he barked.

"Cerberus, please!"

A sharp pain ran through my forearm. The albino had bitten me, though not enough to puncture the leather.

"Cerberus!" I cried, choking on my words. "Please don't!"

Another bite to the shoulder, this time harder. I cried out, turning my head away. After everything, I couldn’t die, not like this. Not by him.

"Please!"

The lycan reared back, maw open and eyes fixed on my exposed throat. He lunged. I screamed.

"I submit!"

Jaws clamped shut a hair's breadth from my jugular. My body lay still, frozen in anticipation. Ever so slowly, the alpha lycan drew back, eyes burning on mine. We stared at each other, locked in a wordless battle, until I finally lowered my gaze. Only then did Cerberus release me.

When I dared glance up, he was gone. Tremors raked over my body as I got to my feet and walked to close the door he left open. From there I retrieved my mask, though didn't put it on. Was there even a point anymore? Every weakness had already been seen. Even so, I took it with me as I crawled onto my bed, sure to close the drapes around me. Only when I was completely hidden did I curl into the smallest ball I could manage and cry more openly than I had in years.

He knew my secret. I may no longer have control over the lycans, but they were still addicted. They wouldn't give me up. It was likely I would never leave the castle again.

I had truly lost everything.

***

Cerberus didn't return until after dark. I hadn't moved from my bed, though neither had I slept or rested since our incident. My body tensed as I heard the door click shut and his padded footsteps approach. The moonlight cast the lycan's silhouette on my drapes. My eyes followed as he stalked around the bed. The fabric was pulled back behind me. I didn't dare turn to look.

A heavy weight collapsed on the mattress. Fur brushed against my back.

My mind told me I should move, but my body wouldn't obey. I was nearly strangled with fear as I struggled to whisper, "Cerberus?'

A huff was his reply, and then, "I’m tired of sleeping on the floor."

I nodded, though I didn't know if he could see me or not. In a sudden urge for movement, I made to slip from the bed. A paw-like hand caught me.

"Stay."

Again, I nodded. I expected him to draw me close, to lick my face or press his nose to my forehead. Yet, the lycan made no further movements, instead choosing to remain as he was, one arm draped over my side, not even his paw touching my skin. It was then I realized he wasn't after the drug, at least at the moment. He was simply guarding me. Normally, I would be opposed to such close contact, fearing my night terrors may reveal my weakness. But now such shows would be pointless. The curtains were drawn back and my strings exposed. There was nothing left for me to hide. I relaxed, allowing myself the sleep my aching body so desperately craved.

No nightmares came to me that night.