I woke up with an impending sense of doom. Cerberus wasn't beside me. It was a surprise his leaving didn't wake me. Without him near, I was vulnerable and alone. When I opened my eyes, the world was hazy. For some reason, I could only find bitter humor in the situation. My poison really did work fast.

The click of his claws sounded as though it was much farther away. A white blur appeared in my vision, which I assumed to be the albino alpha. The words he spoke confirmed my fears.

"The Asken army has arrived at our gates."

I struggled to swallow. I felt cold despite my leather jacket. The chill came from inside. "What are you going to do?" I choked out.

"Defend the castle," he spoke in a growl. "There are a hundred within and the others aren't far in the forests."

"How many has he brought?"

"A few thousand, though we've been snatching them from the road. The others wait below."

It was hard to breathe. Even harder to speak. My throat was raw and burned with each syllable. I sounded like a crow. "We are still vastly outnumbered."

"I know," he huffed. "But we will defend you until the last lycan if necessary." The blur disappeared. I assumed he turned to leave.

"Please don't," I croaked. "Just give me to them. I'm dying anyway..."

Cerberus snarled. "No, you're not."

"Cerberus, please-"

"The doctor finished his cure."

My heart stopped. Was it true? Could I be saved?

"Take it," the lycan huffed. "I must organize our forces."

There was something in his voice, a sort of hesitance. My mind replayed the order several times over, trying to find the reason for those notes in his tone, even after he left the room.

It was not long waiting until Brennon and Dr. Ester came in. It was difficult to tell which was which, save for the fact Brennon was several inches taller. The elder man walked to the edge of my bed, holding what appeared to be a cup of water. Brennon sat beside me.

"He did it Desire."

"Will it work?" It was a foolish question, but my mind wasn't clear enough to stop the words coming out. I decided to say something logical before either could answer. "Show me it's safe"

Dr. Ester moved, though that was the most I could tell. Still, no one knew of my failing vision, so I assumed they wouldn't try to fool me. It hardly mattered anyway, I could feel my life withering away.

"Okay," I said when he returned to his original position. "So this... cure, what is it supposed to do?"

Another weight pressed to the side of my mattress. I assumed the doctor was beside me. He seemed bigger than before.

"I believe your immune system has started to fight its poison, which seems to be present throughout your body. Therefore, your body is attacking itself. If the poison is neutralized in your bloodstream, your immune system will calm and you will be able to heal.

“Your particular drug is quite similar to several in the old world, which we had medicine to counteract. I’ve recreated it to the best of my ability. This cure may take several hours to work, but hopefully will have a more permanent effect." He took a breath before continuing on. "By tomorrow, not only should it purge it from your body, but also prevent your system from producing it in the future."

"Wait," I paused, thinking over his words. It was hard to concentrate on anything. "You mean I'll lose it... forever?"

"That is my hope."

It was everything I wanted. If it wasn't for my poison, I wouldn't be dying. I wouldn't have grown up in the horrible situation that I had.

Without my poison, I would be normal... human...

"No."

The figures in front of me froze. The one with Brennon's voice leaned forward. "What? Why?!"

"The lycans..."

"Don't worry about them," he assured me. "We'll leave the mountains. We can live in a village on the other side of Askance. They won't be able to find you."

"No, not that..." It was as if the skin had been torn from my throat. But I had to speak, I couldn't give up my drug. "They'll suffer...without it..."

They wouldn't want me anymore...

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Brennon snorted. I couldn't see, but I was certain he rolled his eyes. "It doesn't matter. They kill people, Desire. They made you kill people. You shouldn't waste sympathy on them."

"They didn't make me do anything!" I snapped. That hurt. I lowered my voice. "They did everything I asked and I got them killed..." Maybe I would have started to cry, were I able. I felt the pressure under my eyes, but no tears came. "I can't make them suffer anymore."

They would hate me if I denied them...

"Desire." He was so close I could almost make out his face. His hands rested on my shoulders. I heard a faint growl, but Brennon didn't seem to notice. "You'll die without the cure and the lycans will be out of luck anyway. Don't you understand? You'll die!"

I shook my head. Everything seemed to spin with the movement. "I know that! Don't you think I can feel it? I can't even see straight!"

They only accepted me because of the addiction...

"Then take it!"

"I can't!" I cried. "My blood... they can use that for a while... maybe if they wean off of it..."

I was nothing without my poison.

Brennon’s hands tightened around my arms. It was hard to tell, but I thought I could see the shadow of a frown. "You don't want to cause any more suffering, right?"

I tried to breathe through my nose. It was impossible, but my throat burned with the rush of air from my mouth. My voice failed me, so I settled for a slight nod.

"Then what about me? What about those who will grieve for you?" His fingers dug into my shoulders so hard that it hurt. "Don't leave me Desire! I love you!"

My entire world stopped. I had heard those words before. So many of my captors had said them, then laughed. Perimone hadn't laughed, but the joke was on him. People didn't care about me. My drug was the only thing that made me worth anything at all to them. No one wanted me without it.

But Brennon wanted me to give it up. He didn't want my poison.

And yet, Cerberus...

I clenched my jaw. "I can't betray them... They're dying for me... At least if I die… I didn't abandon them.”

"Is keeping your legion really so important to you that you'd die?"

Was it? Humans, they weren't worth it. None so much as protested my treatment. But the lycans... the pack... my pack...

"Yes."

Silence. His fingers eased their grip. I counted the moments by my heart beats.

"Even if you were to lose your poison, you still wouldn't leave, would you?"

I hesitated. Could I leave? Could I simply abandon the Lycan Mountains and go live a normal life among humans? I wouldn't have to deal with the morning mists and frequent rains. I could eat cooked food and not be surrounded by bones. I wouldn't have to worry about being weak. I wouldn't be alone.

"No, I wouldn't."

There may be thunderstorms more often than not, but the mountains were my home. I was the Lady of the Lycan Mountains.

He let out a small laugh. The sound surprised me. It sounded so bitter. "I should have known you were beyond redemption."

All heat left my body. My throat was suddenly so dry it was difficult to speak. "What?"

Another growl. Dr. Ester twisted to look back. Brennon snorted, still oblivious. "It's your own trick. You played it on Perimone. You tried playing it on Howens. You captured Henry and who knows how many others. It's clear you don't have any idea how love actually works. Otherwise you would know people can't fall in love with someone they completely hate!" His voice echoed in my ears. "But you were naive and I was willing to live my whole life silently despising you if it would keep you from hurting anyone else. No one should have to go through what I did!"

My chest hurt with a pain that had nothing to do with my poison. Or perhaps it did. I hesitated to ask, "What did I do?"

"You made me happy! I watched my master, the man I apprenticed under for years, be ripped apart before my eyes. And do you know what I felt? I was happier than I ever before! I watched his head get torn off and all I could think of was how beautiful you were. I was hitting on you while your dog desecrated my friend! A demon like you could never understand what kind of guilt that is!"

"Then why didn't you just kill me? You had plenty of chances!" The words were like vomiting razors, but I didn't care. I screamed them anyway.

"Because I'm not you! I'm not a murderer!"

The doctor was shoved aside and Brennon stumbled back, away from the snarling lycan. Furred forearms pressed into my mattress, shielding me from the man. His sneer was evident in his voice.

"I wondered when your guard dog would show up."

My jaw trembled. Somehow, this pain was far, far worse than what my body experienced. Betrayal. Heartbreak. It was like getting stabbed in the chest. My mind couldn't comprehend it.

Brennon, the first human I had ever felt a connection with, hated me? But we sat together, talking about anything that came to our minds. I told him almost everything about myself. Yet, he had never mentioned being a blacksmith's apprentice. Was anything he told me true?

"You liar," I choked. Cerberus snarled. His fur bristled against my chest. "I hate you! You horrible pacifist! Why couldn't you just kill me and be done with it?"

"Because that's the one trait we share. We could never pull that trigger."

I wanted to prove him wrong. I wanted to get up and stab him myself, just to make him feel my pain. Yet, I couldn't. Even if I had the strength, I wouldn't have been able. He may have deceived me, but he was still the only man ever to refuse my poison. He was still the only human I had connected with, even if it was a lie.

"Get out." I hissed. My eyes burned as badly as my throat, but remained just as dry.

Brennon sighed. "So it seems this time is no different." Aggression colored his tone as he spit his mockery at me. "I could never kill anyone. But you, I wish I had."

Claws dug into my mattress, ripping the fabric. The world seemed to slow. I was aware of the white form sailing over me. I felt the claws of his hind feet drag across my arm. The mattress tilted as they made contact where his forepaws had left, launching the lycan across the room. He snarled as he collided with the man, tackling him. Brennon made no sound other than a slight huff as he fell to the floor. I may not be able to see, but I could tell he didn't struggle, even as the canine tore into him with vicious teeth. He spared me the screams I hated so much.

When Cerberus stood, I knew the man wasn't alive. The alpha lycan never left them alive. He fixed me with those red eyes, so vibrant I could see them despite my hazy vision

"Why?" My voice was little more than a whisper.

"Because you couldn't."