Chapter 17: Wedding

The moment I stepped outside, I was greeted by a swirling gust of frosty air. My eyes fluttered shut as I drew in a deep breath, cool and revitalizing as the taste of mint. When I opened my eyes, I was greeted with the sight of thirty or so people seated in the garden, surrounded by icy hedges and frozen flowers. At their head was an ice sculpture arch. Vines cut from the greenhouse wound around their wintery counter parts.

Darrius stood under the arch. I smiled as my eyes met his. He was so handsome in his furred cloak, dyed blue. I had never seen him in his crown before. The sapphires sparkle against silver. He looked like a winter prince.

No one accompanied me up the aisle. I had insisted on this. No one would give me away because no one owned me. Of course, Darrius had accepted. He had surrendered to all my requests, stating he only wished to make me as happy as I made him.

I paused at the altar, allowing Darrius to take my hands and draw me up. The silk of my elegant gloves didn't give as much protection from the cold as sheepskin, but I didn't mind. The thin material allowed the heat of his grasp to warm me.

There was an official of sorts, a council member I supposed, who started a speech. I didn't pay him much mind, instead I focused on the man before me. He was smiling, not in his usual foxish manner, but a much more genuine way. I couldn't help but smile back as I stared up into those pale green eyes. I appeared for all the world to be a blissful bride.

I was happy. Just for that moment, I lived in the present, where I was in love and marrying royalty and really living out the heroine's role in every fairytale. I deserved it didn't I? After everything I'd been through, wasn't I entitled to one day where I could have everything I could possibly want?

The official finished his speech and asked us to repeat some vows. Then Darrius kissed me. It was a wonderful kiss, not just passionate but loving as well. It was a kiss I could have continued forever. After that, they had me kneel. The official placed a crown on my head, a feminine version of the king's. I was announced Queen of Preene and heir to the throne.

Darrius pulled me up and kissed me again, this time even more passionate and loving than the first. The people sitting in the garden cheered and swore their loyalty to me.

Silvery flakes of snow drifted down from the heavens like icy petals. They coated the ground, covering everything dead and ugly in a beautiful blanket of shimmering white. Nothing on Earth could possibly be more perfect than this day.

Tears streamed down my face. I just wished it was real.

***

The suite was just how I had left it, smelling of flowers and decorated to perfection. Candles and petals were scattered throughout the room, adding a romantic lighting. The air was pleasantly warm compared to the frozen world outside.

Darrius was already laying in the sheets, half undressed. He grinned as I closed the door behind me. I approached with careful footsteps, following the ornate rugs to the foot of the bed.

I needed to have help removing the outer layer of the dress, and now stood in its shorter, thinner slip underneath. The soft fabric danced about my thighs as I turned my back to my new husband. The mattress groaned as he rolled onto his knees, approaching me from behind. Hot hands found the buttons fastening the back. My chest rose and fell as they undid the tiny clasps and the fabric fell off my shoulders, flowing into the floor.

His lips pressed their way down my neck as his hands slid down my bare arms. I could feel his smile against my skin. I could hear his breath quicken when I turned around, pushing him back with my fingertips on his chest.

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My knees sunk into the sheets as I crawled over him. I stopped when my chest hovered over his and my hand rested half under the pillows.

Bile rose in my throat as my fingers found the hilt of the dagger hidden there.

I didn't need to do this. I could just continue on with this fairytale, living my days out in luxury as Queen. Cerberus was by my side and I had authority over all who lived in the kingdom. I could prove Eemeli wrong, that blood and death didn't follow me everywhere, that I was truly cured of my curse and didn't need my poison to live my life. I could live in peace. I could stay with this man who would love and accept me.

Except he would never accept the part of me that loved the lycans. He desired the part of me that controlled them.

Anger boiled in my heart as he pulled me down on top of him, kissing me passionately. I could taste the lust on his lips. How dare the world make me choose between my own fairytale ending and the promise I made? How dare my own happiness be conditioned upon the lycan's captivity? It wasn't fair! It wasn't fair at all!

Darrius broke away to draw me even closer, whispering in my ear, "I've been dizzy with happiness since I kissed you as my wife."

It wasn't fair, it wasn't fair, it wasn't fair! I seized the dagger's hilt, drawing it out as I violently smashed my mouth onto his.

I didn't feel him stiffen at first. It was only when his jaw slowed to a stop that I noticed anything at all. His arms lost their strength, releasing their grip on my back and falling to his sides. I pulled away, looking down upon his unfocused eyes that stared blankly up at me. His chest rose and fell in an unsteady rhythm as he struggled for breath.

I recognized this. I sat up, now gasping for breath myself. I knew this, I had seen it so many times before. My body trembled along with his.

This was an overdose.

I crawled backwards, breaking all skin contact. But it was too late already. The dagger hit the edge of the bed, bouncing off and clattering to the floor. I bent in half, gasping for air as I watched the man I had married draw in his final breaths.

King Darrius was dead.

I snatched up a pillow beside me and smashed into my face, muffling my scream. I screamed and shouted and cursed and cried. When I finally was able to throw it away its white fabric was stained with streaks from my makeup.

One look at Darrius and I was grabbing another pillow to scream in again.

It was back. My curse. The poison that had corrupted my life. The toxin that nearly killed my body.

Everything that had happened in Askance, everything that had happened in Preene, was it all for nothing?

I crawled off the bed, stumbling away from the corpse of my husband. I stumbled my way along the wall, falling out the doors onto the suite's balcony. The dusting of snow stung at my bare feet, but I didn't care. Nothing could hurt more than the turmoil inside me.

Yet, they were gone. All those rocks, the sharp, piercing weights that had settled into my stomach had vanished. The lycans of Preene would be free. I had fulfilled my promise.

Of course, there was now icicle in my heart.

A bitter laugh escaped my lips. I, of all people, was feeling guilty for killing someone? For poisoning him with euphoria when I had planned on stabbing him in the chest? What an excuse for a villain I was. That was what I was after all, I had only briefly convinced myself I was otherwise. It was laughable now, to think I had really believed I could be the heroine. That I had a choice of keeping this fairytale I had set up for myself.

I just really, really wanted it to be true.

"I'm sorry," I whispered to the winter breeze, "I almost... I almost didn't do it. I was so close to..."

I took a deep breath, trying my best not to choke on my words.

"You gave up everything for me. I cost you your lives," I said to the moon, "And I couldn't even stop being selfish long enough to go through with one promise."

I wiped my eyes on my bare sleeve. "I'm so sorry."

It was time to forgive myself for the wild lycan's sacrifice. I had done some good with the life they had given me, even if I had to destroy the happy ending I had dreamed of to achieve it.

I still hated myself.