It was raining again. It rained a lot in my territory. Mud splattered my legs as I stormed through the street of my newest town, heading straight for the main square stage where the lycans were herding the remaining villagers. I was grateful the terrible weather allowed me to wear my full face mask without suspicion.

Pulling off my long gloves as I went, I didn't notice the man beside me until I bumped into him. I ignored his sounds of protest as I pushed past, concentrating on keeping a steady gait.

Anyone would think I wore the variation of my mask to shield my chin from the rain. None would suspect it was actually to hide the grimace that crossed my face with each step. My feet were sore, so much so it made walking nearly unbearable. By all appearances, they were fine, but since I woke, the joints were stiff and hurt to move. With Cerberus doubting my strength already, I didn't dare seek my nurse. So I strode onward, taking each step with confidence, though I was nearly weeping beneath.

It was just cramping. Or perhaps tender from the damp cold. My toes were frozen more often than not. It would go away soon enough with the warm weather.

Cerberus leapt on the stage beside me. The timbers groaned under his weight. Standing to his impressive bipedal height, he turned, looking to me for command. I hoped he couldn't see the tears through my mask’s holes. Upon seeing the last of the villagers dragged from their hiding places, I nodded. Cerberus barked out a short call, drawing all eyes to us. I exhaled a tense breath and relaxed. It was time to put on a show.

"People of Merrer," I projected my voice over the sounds of the rain, "Doubtlessly you think yourselves lambs led to the slaughter." I took in their horrified expressions. "You are not."

Their relief was instantly evident. People were selfish. All it took to make them forget their fallen was the opportunity to save themselves. Now that they thought they had been spared, they wouldn't so readily resist.

"Your village is no longer in the nation of Askance. You are the territory of the Lycan Mountains," I continued. "From this day forward, you will offer your highest produced crops, a tenth twice a year, or a fifth annually, in addition to any services I may have need of you for." There was silence, a sure sign of their acceptance, until one voice broke it.

"And what if we refuse?" An elder man called out, not too far from the stage. From the soot that still clung to his clothing despite the downpour, I would guess him to be a metalworker. He appeared aged enough to have lived in the old world, though surely just a toddler at the time. It was almost a shame. However, this was a show, an exhibition of power, and I had the most bloodthirsty of audiences. I needed an example, and here I had a volunteer.

Killing one would keep the others from rebelling. One more step to power. One more piece to security. I would make them so afraid of their new dictator they wouldn't dare question me again.

I needed control. Once I had control, I would be safe, never put in a cage again.

"Cerberus." It thrilled me how his eyes flicked to mine, so quick and attentive, like a dog. "Show this man what becomes of those who rebel against the Lady of the Lycan Mountains."

The albino grinned. Wet as it was, his fur stuck together in ragged clumps. He bowed his head, raindrops running off the end of his snout. "As my lady wishes..."

The lycan leapt from the stage, landing on all fours amongst the villagers. He stalked forward like a giant white wolf, eyes fixed on the man who had spoken. The crowd parted around him. The trembling man turned and shoved aside several bystanders in an attempt to flee. Cerberus bounded after him, catching him within two strides. His jaws clamped down on the man's shoulder and dragged him back towards the stage.

Once they reached the stairs to the platform, Cerberus released his hold. The man jumped to his feet, only to once again fall face first into the mud, ankle trapped in the lycan's teeth. The predator hauled his injured prey up the stairs and onto the stage, spreading a trail of mud and blood in their wake.

Now too wounded to stand, the man couldn't flee, even as Cerberus let him go. The lycan rose up on his hind legs, staring down at the human crying and begging for his life. I was used to being around the lycans; their size was normal to me. Only when they stood next to other humans could I see how truly large they were. The man was as helpless as a rabbit in a wolf's den, just as I had been.

A sudden anxiety knotted in my chest. I wanted to cry out, to order Cerberus to stop and leave the old man be. It was merely a suggestion of resistance, enough of an example had been made. The man didn't need to give his life over a single trivial error.

But this wasn’t a show for me, nor was it really for the people of Merrer. This was for the harshest of critics, the lycans. One trivial error was all it took to cost a life, and in this performance, it was either the rebellious man's or mine. I wouldn't give up the power I had seized for his foolish mistake.

Besides, a voice whispered in the back of my head, no one ever gave up anything for my sake. There was never anyone there to be my rescue.

And so I held my tongue and continued the act.

Cerberus grabbed the elder man around the arm, throwing him as easily as a toy. He slid from the back of the stage and landed with a small splash in a puddle below. The lycan reached a long arm down, retrieving his prey and hoisting him back onto the stage.

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It wasn't me. No one ever spared me even the slightest of pains. I couldn't afford to show kindness. I didn't dare show weakness.

The old man's pleas for mercy soon turned to screams as the lycan dropped to all fours, shaking him in his jaws like a doll.

I closed my eyes, resisting the urge to cover my ears. This power I chose must be paid for in blood. I couldn't lose control. It would be over soon.

Except it wasn't. His wailing carried on and on, only ever growing louder as Cerberus continued his demonstration. The shrill cries pierced my mind, even as his voice became hoarse from screaming, until it turned into a low, moaning drone. This man was not the mayor of Estil, who shot one of my lycans, nor was he the messenger assassin who tried to kill me. He was a villager, a simple blacksmith. He made doorknobs and horseshoes for a living. He didn't deserve this. He was innocent.

My weight was suddenly too much for my aching feet to bear. The world spun. My knees buckled under me, sending me sprawling across the stage. I hurried to push myself upright, but it was already too late.

"Stop."

The word was out of my mouth before I could catch it. Instantly, Cerberus froze, jaws clamped over the man's forearm. Red eyes bore into mine, watching, searching for the crack in my defenses which allowed the command to slip out, the crack that was rapidly expanding into a fissure.

I couldn't break, not here, not now. What would the lycans think if I broke? Bile rose in my throat. What if I threw up on the stage? The Lady of the Lycan Mountains never showed such weakness. But I didn't think I could stop it.

"Get up."

My eyes flicked to the lycan, at first unsure he had even spoken, half convinced I had imagined it. Then he spoke again, just barely a growl under his breath.

"Desire, get up."

His eyes glanced to the crowd surrounding us. I followed his gaze to the others, a pack of roughly sixty, scattered amongst the gathered humans. They watched us with a predatory intensity, waiting.

I couldn't look at the mess of a human in front of me, so I focused on a house just beyond Cerberus's shoulder. Its shutters were closed to block out the rain, though one hung at a slightly odd angle. No doubt that one leaked. It would need to be replaced.

I pushed myself off the stage's floorboards. Pain shot through my soles in protest, but I couldn't mind that. I had to block out the ache. I kept my focus on the broken shutter. It was close enough to Cerberus anyone would think I was staring at the lycan. Anyone but the lycan himself. I took a steadying breath, having only a moment to repair the damage before it was discovered.

"Quit playing around," I barked, making sure the irritation was clear in my voice. "I’m tired of standing in the rain."

Cerberus bowed his head. "As my lady wishes," he said, before seizing the man around the neck, ripping his head clean from his shoulders and tossing it into the crowd. It took mere moments for him to disassemble the body until it resembled nothing more than a pile of limbs. Water poured from the sky, washing the blood from the stage and coloring the puddles below.

I fought not to cover my mouth. It wouldn't do any good, as this mask covered past my chin. I bit my tongue to contain my sob. Yes, that shutter would definitely need to be replaced. The hinges were bent and weak.

By the time I dared drop my gaze, the lycan was looking at me expectantly, still in a half-crouched position, crimson dripping down his jaw. The main event was over; it was time for the closing scene. This was where I showed my affection for his kind, the part where I upheld my end of our agreement and paid for my control. I strode to the bloodstained alpha. Closing my eyes, I slid up my mask, careful to control my features as I leaned down to place a kiss on his nose. I held myself there for a full minute, perhaps more, before drawing away. Even still, I could hear a whine on his breath, just the whisper of a plea.

"Later," I spoke softly, allowing the mask to fall back over my face. We stared at each other, neither daring to look away. I wondered if he could sense it, if not see the redness of my eyes. Could he smell my tears, or feel the heat of my face as I struggled against my emotions? Maybe he could even hear the strain of my breath from the tightness in my throat. Surely he knew. Surely I couldn't hide such obvious cracks from him.

A barking howl broke our spell. Both lycans and people made way for Graniteback as he bounded through them, stopping at the edge of the stage.

"A messenger, my Lady Desire, from the Lord Perimone."

***

The earth was still wet, but it had stopped raining. We were able to find a dry spot under the dense branches of a large pine to settle down for the night. I lay on my back, staring up into the green canopy through the slits in my mask. Beside me, Cerberus collapsed onto his side with a great huff. He was the only one I brought with me. I really didn't feel like being surrounded by giant canines at the moment, though I also knew I couldn't go alone. Besides, with my feet as sore as they were, I definitely didn't want to do any more walking than necessary.

We lay in silence for a few minutes before the white lycan spoke. "Is this later?"

I sighed. "Yes."

Leaves crackled as he shifted. His canine head appeared in my field of vision. I lay still as he leaned over me. A paw-like hand descended upon my face, elongated claws wrapping around my mask and gently removing it. I couldn't bring myself to force a smile, though neither did I need to hide tears. I lay completely exposed and vulnerable to the alpha lycan. His cool nose pressed to my forehead.

The minutes dragged on, yet I made no attempt to pull away. He could take however much he wanted. With the heavy weight settled in my stomach, I couldn't bring myself to care.

"Does it drain you?" he asked, nose still touching me.

"No more than breathing," I answered in an emotionless tone.

He huffed. "You seem upset."

"Are you pretending to care?"

"I don't pretend."

A bitter smile crossed my features. I had forgotten my well being directly affected his.